Lovers are not full Just A Bit Confusing

"Why are you hiding in my room? Sandra has been looking for you everywhere."

In Tristan's voice, James opened his eyes, and his body, which had been spread out on the chair, sat up straight.He shrugged. "I want to be quiet."

Tristan leaned against the door, eyeing him gossipingly. "Why aren't you with Ryan?"

James was furious, and he said loudly: "We are not actually conjoined twins, you know."

Tristan smiled. "Ah." He said nothing, but his silence was more ironic than any words.

"Has anyone ever told you how annoying you are?" James said.

Tristan smiled back, looking young and handsome, and James couldn't help but stare at him.Although Tristan is not James' type at all, from a purely aesthetic point of view, he is indeed a stunner.

"Zach keeps telling me that all day long," Tristan said. "But it's hard to take his words seriously, because he often comes to kiss me after he finishes speaking." A thoughtful expression appeared on his face. "What made you so angry with Ryan? Usually you look at him as if he hung the moon in the sky."

James gritted his teeth and didn't answer.

"Wait, you finally confessed your immortal love to him?" James glared at these words, and Tristan raised his eyebrows, "He can't accept it? Hmm... I didn't expect this to happen."

James rubbed his eyes and sighed.How should he answer?On the one hand, Ryan accepted the new news calmly; on the other hand, he seemed determined to turn James' life into a slow and meticulous delay.

"Ryan has to feel like he has to do something for me," James said dryly. "At first, he was going to find me the perfect boyfriend so I could forget about him. And now... now he's trying to To make me feel better."

James laughed twice. "I don't understand him. He said he'd throw up just thinking about sleeping with me—he told you that, remember—and then he shot me like it wasn't a big deal—"

"Oh, wait," Tristan grinned. "Really? Did he fuck you?"

James tried to suppress the instant heat on his face. "Neither. It was just like always, he was all over me, and he didn't know how uncomfortable I was. So I kissed him. I wanted to teach him a lesson, but in the end..." He flinched All of a sudden, "I'm totally messed up. I guess he took pity on me, so he gave me a hand. Just 'helped'."

Tristan frowned. "Zach justified it—we were still fighting like hell at the time—that he bit my lip because I made him so angry." He laughed, "That's what you just said That reason is just as ridiculous. I'm not going to handjob someone just because I feel sorry for them."

James shook his head, looking down at his twisted fingers. "Ryan always felt that he should take care of me. When I was depressed or sad, he could never stand by. So it's not too outrageous for him to do this."

Tristan snorted impatiently. "If you understand, what's the problem? Just tell him to stop there."

James looked up at him, didn't say anything, just kept flexing and stretching his fingers.

Tristan's gaze sharpened. "You don't want him to stop." He didn't ask.

James bit his lip and looked away, his face burning, "It's not—"

"You like that he takes care of you," Tristan said slowly. "You like him pampering you. After all, you're actually very happy that he's willing to step out of his comfort zone for you, and that he cares about you so much."

"I don't need to hear that from you," James said firmly.He stood up and walked towards the door.

But Tristan blocked his way.Every time he gets close to Tristan, James is always surprised, because Tristan is not that tall, but he always attracts everyone's attention, and his aura makes him look taller than he actually is.

"Excuse me," James said.

Tristan didn't move, a faint smile appeared on his full lips, "Do you want to hear my opinion?"

James rolled his eyes, "Do I have a choice?" Tristan's smile widened. "That's right, you have no choice." He tilted his head and thought for a while. "I think Ryan is really straight, straighter than Zack used to be. On the Kinsey scale, he's probably a '1' on the Kinsey scale. But it's not fixed—I'll know It's because I've met a lot of 'straight' guys trying to put a cock in my mouth." Tristan smiled shamelessly. "But then again, you're far worse looking than I am. Nobody looks better than me."

①The Kinsey Scale is a scale developed by Dr. Kinsey, an expert in sexology. It tries to use 0-6 to represent a person's sexual orientation: 0 is completely heterosexual, and 6 is completely homosexual.

James smiled and shook his head. "Tristan, can you get to the point?"

"Okay," Tristan said, his teal eyes twinkling teasingly, "suck his cock. Any straight man, no matter how straight, likes it. If he lets you go and enjoys it, he wants more." If you come here a few times, maybe he will be able to abandon the light and turn to the dark." Tristan giggled, and staggered away, leaving James stunned.He's kidding, right?

right?

"By the way," Tristan turned around at the end of the corridor. "Before he and his girlfriend talk about marriage, let him choose between you and his girlfriend." His smile became brighter, "Believe me, you don't want to get entangled with a married man Unclear, that's not a beautiful thing, even you shouldn't be so miserable—but, that's kind of ironic."

James stood for a long moment, frowning, until Tristan was out of sight.

Satire?

He shook his head, put the word out of his mind, and focused on the advice Tristan had given him.

Maybe Tristan had a point.

No, not "maybe," Tristan was right.Ryan cut the mess fast and it was good for everyone.For all three of them, the whole thing was off track, shaky, and unfair.Not fair to Hannah because Ryan was too worried about his bestie's feelings to pay less attention to her; not fair to Ryan because he shouldn't be forced to deal with things that were out of his control - things that weren't his fault -Ryan also shouldn't feel guilty about having fun with his girlfriend; it's not fair to him, because Jamie really really doesn't want to spend the rest of his life chasing his own, straight, best Friend, not to mention that this dude has no fucking idea what private space and boundaries mean.

Action must be taken.

His internal organs were tangled and filled with fear.Yes, he's probably about to lose him: No matter how protective Ryan is of his besties, he'll still choose his girlfriend, like any man in love.

But it is right to ask him to make a choice.Things can't go on like this anymore.

James walked downstairs slowly and into the dining room full of laughter and laughter.

Ryan was sitting at the table next to Zach, both of them were frowning and discussing something quietly.

No one was paying attention to James, so he let himself feast his eyes.His eyes wandered greedily between Ryan's strong jaw with its dark stubble, his full lips, his straight nose, and his piercing green eyes beneath his bushy dark eyebrows; Extremely broad shoulders, masculine chest hovering.And his arms, the arms that give the tightest, sweetest hugs in the world.

Jamie licked his dry lips, fighting the mad urge to run over and kiss him.God, this is so fucking unfair.How can there be a person who he obviously has no reason to occupy, but makes him feel in the deepest part of his heart that this is his own?Ryan seemed to have invaded his blood, and there was no way to get rid of it.

Still engrossed in the conversation with his brother, Ryan occasionally glanced in James' direction.Their eyes locked together.James didn't know what Ryan saw in his eyes, but Ryan's brow furrowed even deeper.He said something to Zach and got up from the table.Hannah stopped him and asked a question.James turned and walked slowly back to the balcony.

Even for December, it's really cold outside.

He hugged himself, waiting.The chill was piercing, and he was freezing cold.

The door opened behind him and closed again.

"Jamie?" Ryan said.

James hugged himself tighter, trying to keep himself from shaking, but he was still shaking.

"You're freezing, idiot," Ryan said, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around James.His body was big and solid, painfully familiar to James. "You can go in and say, come on."

James shook his head, forcing himself out of Ryan's embrace, otherwise he wouldn't be able to do what had to be done.He turned to face Ryan.

The street lamps emitted a dim yellow light, and Ryan's angular features were all hidden in the shadows.But James could still see the tension and concern on his face.

"I don't want to do that," James said softly but firmly.But even after making up his mind, he still felt a lump in his throat. "But you know, there's no way it's going to go. It's all getting so messed up, so fucked up. I can't—I can't go on like this, Ryan."

"Jamie-"

James pressed a finger to Ryan's lips. "Please, let me finish my sentence first." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "That's not going to work. In fact, I'm the light bulb between you and Hannah. You were happy before I told you I... I loved you. My words ruined everything: our friendship went sour, you And feel guilty for being happy with her." He bit his lips tightly. "I don't want to. I don't even know what I want. I'm just tired of being sad and pretending to be happy. But on the other hand…" His Adam's apple twitched, eyes fixed on Ryan. "Hannah and I can't be in your life. Please don't ask me to. I can't, Ryan."

Ryan tensed his face and stared at James.

"So..." James smiled, or at least he thought he was smiling. "Tristan told me to give you a choice, but I know what you'd choose anyway—just put it in another's shoes. I'll choose whoever I love." That's you. "I—I..." James blinked quickly and laughed again. "So, I've come to say goodbye. I hope—I hope it's not forever." He tried to swallow the pain in his throat. "There may come a day in a few years when I can look at you and think of nothing but friendship. Then we'll be friends again."

Ryan didn't say anything, just stared at James.His expression was elusive in the half-light.

"Goodbye." James finally said.He looked at Ryan, and waited, and waited, hoping for some response.He needs something.Maybe it's the last hug, the end.whatever.

But Ryan didn't move.He stood still like a statue, his expression stiff as a stone.

Jamie couldn't resist anymore.He needed something to remind him of in the cold nights to come.Even a lie will do.

He put his trembling hands around Ryan's neck, and hesitantly kissed Ryan with his cold lips.His throat was so choked that he couldn't speak a word, and tears filled his eyes.If only things could have been different, if only... his eyes burned and his heart ached.I love you, always will, and won't stop even if I turn into a sad old man one day.

He backed away.

He took a step back.

He turned around.

Ryan jerked him back into his arms.James slams into Ryan's chest hard.Ryan kissed him hard on the mouth.

Omg.

It wasn't a good kiss between friends, or between brothers, but it wasn't about lust either.The kiss tasted a little angry, a little longing, but it was the love in the kiss that made Jamie completely unable to hold back.Ryan kissed roughly, pinning Jamie to his chest, causing Jamie to let out a small, broken moan.This kiss did not use a tongue, just lips touching lips, but it was also a collision of mutual needs.

After a few seconds, or hours, Ryan finally stopped.He only said one word, but his voice was hoarse and determined. "No."

Before James could ask what he meant, Ryan pushed him into the room.The indoor lights were bright, and James could see Ryan's face clearly.His heart sank.

He had never seen Ryan look so sullen and angry.

"Ryan-"

Ryan shook his head, jaw clenched. "I wish you hadn't forced me to choose, but I understand. Go home. I need to clear things up with Hannah."

James' eyes widened. "What?" he asked blankly.

Ryan glared at him. "Didn't you think so? Are you kidding me, Jamie? Do you really think I'm going to let you go? Really?"

"But you love her." James' mind was completely confused.

Ryan pursed his lips in a bitter smile. "Love, but obviously not enough." He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed loudly, and looked at James again, this time his expression was softer. "Go home, I'll call you after we break up." He kissed James' forehead. "I'll need you then," he whispered, and headed for the dining room—to break up with his girlfriend, whom he still loved.

Jamie didn't feel a tinge of elation or excitement.

Only bone-chilling guilt hit him.