Ask your heart and soul

Holding the mobile phone, Bai Wan stood in front of the window, standing straight like a javelin, her mood was as cold and indifferent as the night.No one answered the first call, so he patiently called again.

This time, after waiting for a long time, until Bai Wan's hands were numb, finally there was a clicking sound, and someone pressed the connect button.

A current flowed from the fingertips to the heart, even if he didn't want to admit it, Bai Wan's heart shrank slightly.

"Bai, Baiwan?" In the silence, a hoarse voice stood out hesitantly, like a relief painting protruding from a cliff.He was so familiar with this voice, it had whispered in his ear countless times, it made him addicted, and also made him sink.But now, this voice is no longer calm and sexy as before. Although the tone is full of surprise, it sounds trembling and erratic, as if the painting is gradually mottled and peeled off after being ravaged by wind, frost, rain and snow.

Bai Wan had mixed feelings in his heart, and he didn't know what it was like, "It's me." He calmed down, looked directly at the empty night in the outskirts of San Francisco, and said softly, "I've made up my mind."

Fu Ye seemed to have a premonition, and suddenly fell silent, holding his breath like a death row prisoner waiting for a sentence.But just when Bai Wan was about to speak again, he suddenly interrupted Bai Wan and said eagerly: "I'm coming to you! Bai Wan, I'm coming to you now!"

"..."

"It doesn't make sense anymore." Bai Wan said every word as if he was about to bleed, "Fu Ye, let's break up."

After he said these five words, his whole body fell heavily, and his javelin-like posture collapsed instantly, and he had to hold on to the wall to stand still.But at the same time, a sense of relief completely overwhelmed him——

That's fine, the love that started with him will end with him, and it has a beginning and an end.

There was a dense and fine ping-pong sound from Fu Ye's side, as if something had been knocked to the ground. In the chaos, Fu Ye's flustered and firm voice sounded: "I won't break up. Bai Wan, are you angry? ? Are you angry that I didn't come to you? I can explain, I really can explain, in fact, I..."

"No, I'm not angry." Bai Wan leaned against the wall, trying to control her voice, "I didn't blame you for choosing Jiang Zhiming..."

"I didn't choose Jiang Zhiming, I was waiting for you!" Fu Ye suddenly raised his voice, "You said let me give you time to calm down, and I will give you time to think clearly. I originally planned to wait for Jiang Zhiming's surgery Come find..."

"You don't need to look for me anymore. I've thought it through," Bai Wan repeated, "Let's break up."

His voice was very soft, but there was a rare toughness and determination. Fu Ye couldn't help thinking of which emotional gossip magazine said that when a man proposes to break up, it must be well thought out and irreversible.

He smiled wryly, and asked hoarsely, "Why? You don't love me anymore?"

Bai Wan's heart was pierced severely, and the pain spread into his limbs. He really wanted to ask "Then do you love me?", but he didn't ask with trembling lips.

It really doesn't make any sense to entangle the issue of love or not now.

He has made up his mind to go.

"Yes, I don't love you anymore." Bai Wan took a deep breath and said, "I finally found myself here, and I don't want to become the self who is worried about gains and losses for feelings. Compared with love, I am now I want more freedom."

Fu Ye fell silent again. This time, he was silent for a long time before uttering two words: "No."

"?"

"I won't break up with you." Fu Ye said, "I don't believe you don't love me anymore. Is your relationship a faucet? Turn it on when you say it, or turn it off when you say it? It's only been three months, and you just Want to give up on me? No, absolutely not!" The more he spoke, the more excited he became, and even a hint of pleading, "Bai Wan, can you wait for me? I'll come to you right away, I'll come to you right now, just wait a little longer One day, no, two days, two days is fine. I will definitely appear in front of you."

Bai Wan subconsciously shook her head: "Don't come. I will return to China to deal with related matters in a while." He arranged it very calmly, "I am willing to sell you the company's shares at the lowest price. I will also pay for the gold. Please take away the things you left at my house as soon as possible. After I return to China, you give me the key, and we will settle the matter."

"Who is with you!" With a bang, there was a loud noise from Fu Ye's side, followed by the sound of footsteps, interspersed with inquiries from strangers.

"what happened?"

"Are you all right, Mr. Fu?"

"What happened?"

"It's okay, I accidentally knocked over the table." Fu Ye suppressed his emotions and explained, "It's okay, you guys go out first."

"You must tell me if you feel uncomfortable." It was a woman's voice, she used English with a French accent, Bai Wan was familiar, but she couldn't remember where she heard it.

"Got it, got it." Fu Ye drove those people out impatiently.

Bai Wan felt something was wrong: "Where are you?"

Fu Ye avoided this question, and only said firmly: "You wait for me! Be sure to wait for me! I'll come to you right away!"

Fu Ye hung up the phone, got out of bed and started looking for his passport.His chest tightened intermittently, his hands trembled violently, but his movements did not hesitate at all.It can't be too late, he has missed so much, even love is about to be missed, and he can't wait any longer.

He really regrets it now, he should go to Bai Wan as soon as the operation is done, even if he dies on the way, it's better than staying here like a walking dead for more than two months.

He was too conceited, and always thought that he could solve the problem perfectly, like an omnipotent warrior, sweeping away all obstacles on the road of falling in love, but he didn't expect that God made a big joke on him and caught him off guard.

The moment he was lying on the operating table, the shadowless lamp illuminated his chaotic mind, and in the shining halo, he actually remembered the scene of Bai Wan's father Bai Shiying when he was dying.At that time, he looked at the lonely poor man, thinking that if one day he was too tired to recover from the sick bed like this, he would definitely not let the one he loves accompany the pain.He would rather die alone in an unknown valley like a lonely herd of elephants.

He really made up his mind at the beginning, if Su Xu hadn't called his parents here, he wouldn't even inform his close relatives.But he got off the operating table smoothly. After ten hours of complicated surgery, he narrowly escaped death, which was quite fatal.Since God let him go, after that, he didn't think about death anymore, he just wanted to get better soon.If he can't get well soon, how will he meet Bai Wan?

He didn't want Bai Wan to worry, and he didn't want him to see himself so weak. In front of his lover, he should always be strong and reliable.What does Bai Wan love about him?Isn't it love that he is smart, strong, calm, and reliable?He promised that Bai Wan would take care of everything, so how could he leave such a mess?He decided to carry it for a while, anyway, before Bai Wan contacted him, let him carry it for a while.So he endured it like this for two months, until a phone call from Bai Wan made him regret it.

He really regretted it. He didn't expect Bai Wan to give up on him so easily. It wasn't until then that Fu Ye realized that his proud pride and rationality were not worth mentioning in front of love. Losing Baiwan scares him more than losing his life and dignity.

Holding the passport in his hand, he started calling his assistant and asked her to book a plane ticket to San Francisco right away.

Ten minutes later, Fu Ye's mother walked in. Her appearance was very graceful and elegant, but her expression was full of worry. It was obvious that she had received the news: "Are you going to the United States?"

"Yes."

"To find Bai Wan?"

"Yes."

"I disagree."

Fu Ye suddenly raised his head: "I have to go."

"Your current situation is not stable. How can you take such a long flight?" The mother looked at the stubborn son and shook her head again and again, "You can tell him the truth and let him go back to China. Fu Ye, I don't understand you. What are you afraid of, don't lovers just want to support each other?"

"Yeah, I was wrong, but it's too late." Fu Ye raised the corners of his lips mockingly, "He won't be returning to China, he said he doesn't love me anymore."

The room fell silent for a moment, and after a long time, the mother sighed softly: "At least, you have to wait for the reexamination before leaving. It will be time for the three-month reexamination soon."

"No, I can't wait." Fu Ye said firmly, "My flight tonight, Linda, you know mine, and no one can change what I decide."

Ever since she broke up with Fu Ye, Bai Wan felt very uneasy.It's not the kind of uneasiness that he can't bear to part with, but rather, he always feels that something is wrong.

Did Fu Ye really go to Europe with Jiang Zhiming?Bai Wan thought, unlike it, Fu Ye should still be in China, the news has no picture or hammer, it is probably a fake marketing account.but where is heWhy not tell yourself?And that female voice, where did I hear it?Bai Wan racked her brains to think about it, and suddenly there was a ding-dong in her head, and an elegant face came to mind vaguely.

It was Fu Ye's mother's voice, which she had heard on the video call before.

In other words, Fu Ye was with his mother? !

Could it be that their parents did not approve of their relationship?Impossible, obviously he had a good chat with Fu Ye's parents back then.What happened?What about parents who need to go abroad to return home?

"You must tell me if you feel unwell." This is what Fu Ye's mother said in English. Could it be that Fu Ye is sick?

Bai Wan's heart skipped a beat, and she quickly shook off this ominous thought.

No, impossible.Fu Ye is so strong and healthy. If he has known him for so long, he has caught a cold once. What kind of illness can he get?And they have already broken up, even if he is sick, it has nothing to do with him.

"Bai Wan! Bai Wan!" Ye Chengen waved his hand in front of Bai Wan, "What are you thinking? You're distracted again."

"Ah, I'm sorry." Bai Wan quickly turned her gaze back to the computer screen. At this time, they were sitting in Ye Chengen's office at Wagner's headquarters. Bai Wan was filling out the application for admission to the Vocal Music Department of the Rice Academy of Art, and Ye Chengen was on the side. help to see.

After filling out the application, Bai Wan delayed the submission and let out a long sigh of relief.

"Our recommendation letter has also been submitted." Ye Chengen said, "If everything goes well, you will get an interview opportunity soon. Wagner's contract is under preparation and will be soon."

"Great!" Bai Wan was sincerely happy, "Thank you."

Ye Chengen stretched out a hand and raised it in front of Bai Wan.

"?" Bai Wan looked at him inexplicably.

"Why don't you cheer up?" Ye Chengen said with a smile.

Bai Wan suddenly realized, and quickly clapped her hands heavily, and with a crisp sound, the two looked at each other and smiled.

"Let's go, let's go eat." Ye Chengen carried him outside, Bai Wan was still not used to being so intimate with people, so he walked a few steps quickly, leaving Ye Chengen's arms empty.

Ye Chengen was stunned for a moment, but he didn't mind, touched his lips and smiled, followed Bai Wan.

The two walked out of Wagner's building one after the other. Suddenly, Ye Chengen saw Bai Wan standing in front of him and stopped suddenly. He thought that Bai Wan was waiting for him, so he walked forward quickly and put his shoulder on his shoulder with a smile: " What's the matter? Why don't you leave."

He felt the thin shoulders under his hand tremble slightly, Ye Chengen followed Bai Wan's eyes in surprise, and saw a person.

The man was standing under the fallen sycamore tree by the street, facing the sun that was at the end of the summer, he looked over deeply.His gaze seems to have crossed thousands of mountains and rivers, with countless contents and emotions.But Ye Chengen was absolutely sure, he wasn't looking at himself, he was just looking at Bai Wan, he didn't see anyone else, not even a single thing in his eyes, the world, the grass, the trees, the horses, the flow of people, instantly faded into an illusory background , he only had Bai Wan in his eyes.

And what about Baiwan?Ye Chengen originally thought that Bai Wan would be so excited that he couldn't restrain himself, but unexpectedly his trembling shoulders gradually calmed down. Standing beside him, Ye Chengen saw his snow-white neck raised slightly, his side face stretched tighter than a bowstring, Step by step, he walked towards Fu Ye.

Fu Ye also took big strides and walked over, and they quickly walked in front of each other.

For a moment, the two of them didn't speak. They hadn't seen each other for more than three months, but it seemed like 1 years had passed.

Bai Wan stared at Fu Ye intently. Fu Ye was still wearing the flight jacket he was very familiar with, but it was empty under the clothes, leaving only a skeleton.There was no flesh on his originally sharp-edged face, and his eyes appeared dark and heavy, making one's heart palpitating.He was too thin, and his sharp cheeks had an unnatural blush.If Bai Wan just had a bad thought before, but now he can be sure that Fu Ye must be sick.

"I'm sorry, Bai Wan."

"What's wrong with you?"

The two spoke almost at the same time, and Fu Ye was taken aback for a moment.

"How did you know I was sick?"

"How did you know I was here?"

They all spoke in unison again.This sudden tacit understanding made Fu Ye couldn't help laughing. When he smiled, his face softened a little, showing a trace of tenderness that he had never seen before: "I always knew you were here. Although I didn't come to look for you, I probably Knowing your news, I also have some friends here."

Bai Wan looked directly at him, not giving him a chance to talk about him: "Why didn't you tell me?"

"what?"

"Are you ill? What's the matter?"

Fu Ye took a deep breath as if he had made up his mind, and said, "I'm sorry, actually, I've already made it clear to Jiang Zhiming that I wanted to come to you after his surgery, but I suddenly fell ill. "

I see!Sure enough!

Bai Wan suddenly felt that all this was too ridiculous. If Fu Ye came to him in time, maybe they could still hug each other now.But now, even if I know the reason, my mentality, emotions and feelings can't go back.He couldn't forget the torment of the previous period, and the feeling that his heart was ashamed. Even though Fu Ye had already taken that step, he couldn't hold it anymore and fell down.

A small mistake, a thousand miles away, life is always so impermanent and ironic.

"Bai Wan, I'm sorry, I should have come to you earlier."

"So, what is the disease? Are you better now?" Bai Wan was still a little worried.

"I'm fine now!" Fu Ye smiled. "It's supraventricular tachycardia. One of the wires in the heart was connected wrongly, and I was prone to palpitations, so I had a small radiofrequency operation. In fact, it's all thanks to you!"

"Thanks to me?"

"Yeah, if it wasn't for chasing you, I wouldn't have gotten sick at the airport. Fortunately, I found out early. This disease can't be delayed. The longer it is delayed, the more troublesome it becomes. It's better to have surgery earlier." Fu Ye tried to speak lightly, But the pale complexion looked very unconvincing.

Bai Wan stared at him deeply, a trace of suspicion arose in her heart.He knew nothing about medicine, and had never heard of this term, but the more Fu Ye was indifferent, the more he felt that it was against harmony.If it was really as simple as what Fu Ye said, wouldn't he be able to recover for such a long time?

Fu Ye let him watch, still smiling like that, and whispered, "Bai Wan, I'm fine now, I'll take you home."

Bai Wan was shocked suddenly and came back to his senses.

"No, I'm not going back."

"Not going back? That's okay." Fu Ye said quickly, "Then I'll stay here with you."

"No need." Bai Wan turned her head away, and said calmly, "Your illness is just right, and you need to recuperate at home. Besides, you haven't been to the company for so long, you should take care of your business."

"Are you still blaming me?" Fu Ye was anxious, "I really couldn't come here because I was sick... I didn't mean not to look for you."

He reached out to grab Bai Wan, trying to pull him into his arms.Bai Wan didn't resist, and gently leaned against Fu Ye's chest which he hadn't seen for a long time.Listening to the rapid heartbeat, he didn't move for a long time.It wasn't until the heartbeat gradually stabilized that he said, "I don't blame you. I'm telling the truth, Fu Ye, I have something else in my heart now."

"Who? Is it him?" Fu Ye shot like an arrow at Ye Chengen who was standing not far away.

"Of course not." Bai Wan gently broke away from his embrace, and looked at him seriously, "I just don't want to be bound by feelings anymore. In the past three months, I have thought clearly about one thing, no one can save anyone .It was you who took me out of the haze of the past, and I am very grateful to you. But in the past, I relied too much on you, and now I just want to rely on myself, learn music, sing, travel around the world, and live freely."

Fu Ye insisted: "I can accompany you."

Bai Wan shook her head: "But, is that what you want? You can give up Jiang Zhiming, but can you give up your career and your dreams? Even if you can, I can't be so selfish."

He said, stepping back step by step: "Fu Ye, go back, we have already broken up."

Fu Ye raised his arm, trying to grab him again, but he couldn't lift it up after all, as if the three words "break up" cast a spell on him, making him unable to move.

He watched Bai Wan's thin figure disappearing little by little into the depths of the golden early autumn sun, and suddenly felt like a knife stabbing his heart.

But this time, it was no longer a heart-wrenching pain in the physical sense, but just a feeling, a kind of despair that seemed to die in place.