Ask your heart and soul

After coming out of the Museum of Classical Music, it was getting late, and before they knew it, they had been shopping inside for a day.Bai Wan originally wanted to go back to the apartment to rest, but Ye Chengen took him to a Yunshang restaurant for dinner.

"This restaurant has a violin performance tonight, you must like it." Ye Chengen obviously hasn't been in San Francisco for long, but he seems to be familiar with everything here.

"How do you know so well?" Bai Wan couldn't help asking.

"Of course you need to know more about the things you like." Ye Chengen smiled and made a "please" gesture.

This restaurant on the cloud is located on the 64th floor, with floor-to-ceiling glass windows blocking the night outside, and the bright lights are like the Milky Way falling straight down, magnificent and mysterious.Accompanied by the melodious melody of the violin, they enjoyed steak, non-alcoholic drinks and exquisite desserts. Bai Wan's appetite has always been weak, but this time it was rare to be full. Music can indeed increase people's appetite and improve their mood.

Moreover, after getting along for a week, he found that Ye Chengen is a very good companion and chat friend, especially about music, the two of them have many topics in common.It turned out that in Zhonghai, Ye Chengen was his bole, his immediate superior, and there were many things that he couldn't say with confidence, but now that there was no such barrier, the two chatted very smoothly.Ye Chengen is elegant, gentleman, and has no offensive power. Most of the time, Bai Wan talks more. He listens quietly and dials a few words from time to time. His words are very humorous, which makes Bai Wan laugh frequently.Bai Wan gradually relaxed, he hadn't felt this comfortable for a long time.

"Let's go to the musical tomorrow!" Ye Chengen suggested, "There are a lot of theaters here, and there are classic performances every day, you must watch them."

Bai Wanzhi smiled. He didn't drink, but he felt a little drunk, and was smoky by the evening wind: "You just joined Wagner not long ago. Don't you have to work? You stay with me every day?"

"This is also my job!" Ye Chengen smiled, "Looking for inspiration, by the way, dig you."

Bai Wan shook her head: "How can I be so good! It's worth your time and effort? There are many people who have a better voice and singing skills than me. In fact, I..."

"Bai Wan, don't underestimate yourself." Ye Chengen interrupted him and said seriously, "Everyone is unique, I just fancy you, from the very beginning. Your voice, image, and personality are all mine. like."

He looked at him, his eyes were so focused and shining, there seemed to be something else, Bai Wan's heart beat violently for a while, and he was speechless.

"Okay, I won't mention it." Ye Chengen stopped talking in time, and lightly touched his cup, "Don't think too much, since you're here, enjoy this holiday."

After dinner, Ye Chengen sent Bai Wan back to the apartment. When he got downstairs, Bai Wan unbuckled his seat belt and was about to get out of the car when Ye Chengen suddenly pressed his shoulder.

"Bai Wan... Do you want me to accompany you tonight?"

"?" Bai Wan was stunned for a moment, and her expression changed instantly.

Ye Chengen knew that he had misunderstood, and quickly waved his hands and said: "I didn't mean that, I was afraid of you..."

Bai Wan woke up suddenly, calculated the jet lag, tonight should be the time for Jiang Zhiming's surgery, no wonder Ye Chengen wanted to keep him eating until now, maybe because he was afraid that he would be left alone and daydream.

His heart was in a mess for a moment, he didn't know whether it was anxiety or emotion.

"I... don't need it."

"Really not?"

"I'm fine." Bai Wan squeezed out a smile.

Ye Chengen nodded: "Okay, then go to bed early and don't use your phone." He patted Bai Wan's shoulder encouragingly, and sent him off the car, "I'll come to you tomorrow."

Bai Wan walked slowly into the elevator, returned to the apartment, took out her mobile phone and put it on the table.Big numbers appeared on the bright display screen, and it was twelve o'clock in the US time.Bai Wan thought, Jiang Zhiming's surgery must be done, will it be successful?What if it fails?If it fails, will Fu Ye never come to him again?In other words, Fu Ye had already made a choice during the days when they were calm.Is it an omen that he did not come to the United States?

Bai Wan suddenly became flustered. For a moment, he didn't know what he wanted. Did he want Fu Ye?Still wanting to be myself.He was so decisive and sober when he walked, but after a long time, he fell into a muddy vortex, sinking continuously, no matter how hard he tried, it was useless.

He was at a loss when suddenly, the phone rang.All the muscles in Bai Wan's body tensed up suddenly, and her heart rose to her throat.

who is it?Could it be Fu Ye who called him?

After a few seconds, Bai Wan realized how ridiculous she was.This is the card for the mobile phone he bought in the United States, and it is impossible for Fu Ye to know this number.

He picked up the phone, facing Ye Chengen.

"Hello, Bai Wan." Ye Chengen's voice was very calm, "I just received news from a friend in China that Jiang Zhiming's surgery was successful, so you don't have to worry."

Bai Wan's heart slowly relaxed, and she said softly, "That's good."

Ye Chengen asked: "If Fu Ye came to look for you now, would you still give him a chance?"

Bai Wan was silent for a while, then said, "If he really thinks it through..."

"Bai Wan, do you know? I regret it." Ye Chengen seemed to sigh, "If I had known that you would fall in love with Fu Ye, and it was still in such pain, I would never have let him be your producer. He I've been watching the matter with Jiang Zhiming all the way. Some things are not so easy to put down, like a thorn stuck in the flesh, even if you pick it out, it will leave traces. Why are you so obsessed with it?"

"I didn't." Bai Wan smiled bitterly, "I just wanted to give myself one last chance."

Bai Wan really thought so.Jiang Zhiming's surgery was successful, and Fu Ye should have no worries. He gave Fu Ye enough time and was willing to give their relationship one last chance.If Fu Ye flew over to look for him now, if Fu Ye forcefully asked him to go back with him now, Bai Wan thought, he would definitely surrender.

In this way, Bai Wan ushered in a new day amidst the uneasiness.

Ye Chengen took him to watch the musical, the whole performance was very exciting, Bai Wan was immersed in the singing and dancing, and once forgot the person who lingered in his heart.But when he came out of the theater, the evening breeze in early summer blew his forehead hair, and he seemed to return to the summer day when he confronted Fu Ye in the lounge of "You Listen to Me Sing", and his mood sank again.

There was no news from Fu Ye.

Bai Wan had seen Fu Ye's supernatural powers before. Although he didn't leave any contact information and cut off all contact with the country, if Fu Ye wanted to, he would definitely be able to find him.

But why didn't he look for him?Do you still need to wait?Or, is he already on the plane now?

Bai Wan was so out of her mind that she almost fell flat, but was grabbed by Ye Chengen.

"Bai Wan!" Ye Chengen seemed a little angry, "What are you doing?"

"I……"

"If you're a man, be free and easy." Ye Chengen said in a deep tone, "If you really can't let it go, go back to him. If you don't want to lose yourself, cheer yourself up. There is no one in this world who can't live without him, don't play with those things Playing hard to get!"

Bai Wan's face turned red and pale at what he said, and it took him a long time before he murmured: "I understand."

He understood, and he also thought clearly.For this step, Fu Ye still had to do it.In their relationship, he has already taken 99 steps. He has already broken through his limit and tried his best to catch Fu Ye, but in the last step, if Fu Ye doesn't step forward, then they will still have no fate after all.

It doesn't matter if you say he is hypocritical or he wants to play hard to get, but he is really exhausted and can only go here.

The days in San Francisco passed quickly, and the summer passed in a blink of an eye, and Fu Ye did not come to him.

They seem to be lost in the long river of time and space unconsciously.

The first few weeks were the most difficult, and Bai Wan wanted to call back countless times to find out what happened.During those sleepless nights, he thought for a while that it was me who wrote the letter asking Fu Ye not to come to me. Maybe he just respected my thoughts and waited for my answer; he thought for a while, but Jiang Zhiming's The operation was successful, so why not Fu Ye?Does he really love me?Or did he decide to break up long ago and just waited for me to say it first?

In those days, Bai Wan almost felt that she had become a boudoir and resentful woman, immersed in entangled and dark emotions every day and couldn't extricate herself.

But fortunately, there is Ye Chengen and music.

Ye Chengen obviously knew what could save him the most, and took Bai Wan to all the major music venues in San Francisco, from concert halls, theaters, bars, to recording studios, museums, and underground plazas, they enjoyed all kinds of music performances , saw a wide variety of music types, and later, went to the Les American Academy of Art together to listen to lectures.

Les American Arts University is built near the sea. Every morning when the sun rises from the sea level, the whole campus will be filled with the sound of tinkling pianos, followed by violins, wind instruments, and human voices... Countless wonderful music passes through the chirping birds, passing through the rolling waves, flying in the clouds, lingering in the shade of trees, like a grand symphony performance.

Bai Wan, who saw this kind of scene for the first time, was stunned. Ye Chengen walked beside him and asked with a smile, "Is it beautiful?"

"Beautiful!" It can hardly be described as pleasant or touching, but only tremblingly uttered the word "beautiful".

Love is undoubtedly beautiful, but there are many other things in life that are equally breathtakingly beautiful.

Bai Wan deeply felt this while taking classes at Rice Academy of Art.He used to just like listening to songs and singing, seeking a kind of spiritual resonance with the audience.But here, he doesn't need to seek at all, everyone is connected.He fell in love with music out of control, what might have been a distraction at first, but then turned into a real love.He seems to have suddenly found the fulfillment and happiness that he never had in his life in the first 30 years, and found the coordinates of ups and downs in the vast world.

Once, he had just finished listening to a lecture, and the teacher mentioned "peak experience", which is a psychological point of view, but it is also applicable to the pursuit and appreciation of art. Bai Wan was very interested, and he couldn't wait to share about The idea of ​​"peak experience" was shared with Ye Chengen.Ye Chengen had to deal with work matters these few days, so he didn't go to class with him, but he would come to pick him up.

Sitting in the car, Ye Chengen couldn't help laughing when he saw Bai Wan dancing with excitement.

"Bai Wan, have you heard a word?"

"what?"

"Many people are inspired, but few people are chosen by God." Ye Chengen said, "This is what Coetzee, the Nobel Prize winner for literature, said in his autobiographical novel "Youth", you are very lucky, you are the one chosen by God You have a superb perception of music, you are curious about the world, and your emotions and characters are pure, so you can have such a cherished and extreme experience. You are already better than most people in the world, including me , are all lucky."

Bai Wan was stunned. This was the first time someone told him that he was very lucky.

He never felt that he was the lucky one. He always thought that if he met Fu Ye in his lifetime, he would have used up all his luck.

It seems that is not the case.

Life really has infinite possibilities.

Bai Wan smiled brilliantly, at some point, he gradually stopped thinking about Fu Ye's whereabouts.Sure enough, there is nothing that time cannot dilute, and there is nothing that memory cannot forget.He felt that his heart had opened up a lot, not the kind of hard-holding and letting go of his defenses to open his heart, but the sunlight directly shining in, that light was not given by others, but belonged to himself.

In an instant, all the popular album songs, the fan awards and sales results, all the jealousy and worry about gains and losses were all gone, and what remained on the other side of the ocean seemed to be something that happened in the previous life, and he wanted to get a new life here.

On the last day of August, Bai Wan told Ye Chengen that he had decided that he would stay in the United States, in San Francisco.

"But I'm sorry, I still can't join Wagner." Bai Wan said apologetically, "I want to study and study music, but the professional knowledge and skills I have now are still too little."

Ye Chengen was not surprised, and said with a smile: "It doesn't matter, I guessed it. However, you can continue to study music after signing the contract. Wagner recruits talents and respects the opinions of musicians. The environment is very relaxed. If it weren't for this, I will not jump over here either. You see, I originally wanted to explore the Chinese market, but now I also stay in the United States?"

"Is it really possible?"

"Of course." Ye Chengen promised, "Besides, Wagner can also write you a letter of recommendation. You want to study at Rice Academy of Art, right?"

Bai Wan's eyes lit up, he really didn't expect Ye Chengen and Wagner to be willing to do this for him.

"Then...thank you." Bai Wan said sincerely.

"Actually, I want to thank you too."

"Thank me?"

"Actually, I'm also exploring the direction of my life step by step." Ye Chengen was very frank, "Originally, after the one-month training, I was supposed to return to China, but Bai Wan, it was you who asked me to stay."

"..." It came again, the feeling of rapid heartbeat came again, Bai Wan was suddenly afraid that he would say something irreversible, so she tried to calm down, "Brother Cheng En, no matter where you are, you should be like a fish in water. "

Ye Chengen smiled: "Yes. It's just because of you that I realized that I should keep trying in life. New careers, new environments, new——relationships." He paused and asked, "What do you think?"

Bai Wan dared not look at him.Ye Chengen is very good, very good, a refined gentleman, both a teacher and a friend, compared to the arrogant and conceited Fu Ye, he is more mature and considerate, but...

"It's okay, think about it slowly, we will have a long time to come." Ye Chengen saw that Bai Wan was in a dilemma, he kept a perfect smile, and ended the conversation.

"..." Bai Wan was very grateful to Ye Chengen for giving him space, but he found that under Ye Chengen's gentle attitude, there was also a strong will not give up until he reached his goal. It was like boiling a frog in warm water, slowly disintegrating his willpower. Be it work or love.

To say that you are not tempted at all is to deceive yourself and others.

However, Bai Wan pressed his chest, where the heart was, and the little snail was still alive, but his love was already dead.

When Bai Wan returned to the apartment, she took out the mobile phone that she hadn't used for a long time from the bottom of the suitcase, and opened it. After a while, the mobile phone kept calling, and all kinds of information poured in like a flood.Bai Wan put it on the bed and didn't look at it for a while.

For 92 days, he had no contact with Fu Ye.

They seem to be fighting a protracted war. Since it is a war, it will end one day.No matter what kind of corpses they have in their hearts, they will be emptied and there will be no traces.

Bai Wan picked up her phone, opened WeChat, and was slightly taken aback.He did not expect that most of the new information was sent by Fu Ye.In the past, Bai Wan probably wouldn't even dare to look at it, but now he can read it calmly one by one.

They were all trivial things in life and Fu Ye's thoughts, nothing special, but at least Bai Wan knew that Fu Ye was very anxious and missed him in the days when he just left.

However, these WeChat messages stopped abruptly the day before Jiang Zhiming's surgery.

Why?what happened?

Bai Wan was puzzled, so she logged into Weibo, which had been useless for a long time, and checked the news about Jiang Zhiming and WW company.The success of Jiang Zhiming's surgery was a certainty, and the female fan was also sentenced to ten years in prison. The WW company was operating as usual, and the old and new circles were changing and lively, and there was nothing new in broad daylight.Bai Wan took a look at Fu Ye's Weibo again. The last Weibo was more than a year ago. There is very little information about him on the Internet. Bai Wan scrolled down for a long time before seeing a few marketing accounts. It was revealed that Jiang Zhiming had returned to Europe to recuperate, and Fu Ye, the president of WW Company, was also accompanying him.

Bai Wan's eyelids twitched, the news that used to hurt his heart, but now he no longer feels it.

He thought, since Fu Ye didn't want to open his mouth to be a bad guy, let him break up.

He bit his lip and finally dialed Fu Ye's cell phone.