Ask your heart and soul

Bai Wan didn't know how long he had stayed beside his father's bed, and how long had he not looked at him like this.Although he had cruelly severed the relationship, he never thought that the reunion would be so hopeless and sad.Bai Shiying's whole body was so thin that only a handful of bones remained, only her abdomen was swollen high, and there was ascites that could not be drained.Every few hours, a nurse would come to drain the ascites and give him an injection of morphine to relieve the pain.According to Aunt Luo, when the disease was discovered, surgery was no longer possible, and conservative treatment has been used. Now, conservative treatment has lost its effect. The only appeal is to make the patient feel more comfortable and less painful when leaving.

Bai Shiying has been in a coma all the time, but he seems to be able to sense his son's return, and murmurs Bai Wan's name more frequently than before. Every time he says it, Bai Wan will respond to him in a low voice: "It's me."

By the end, his voice was too hoarse to speak.

Aunt Luo signaled Fu Ye to take Bai Wan away: "You can't stay in the ward for long, it's bad luck." She also had the most simple superstitious view of a middle-aged woman, "You are a big star now, don't be affected by your career." She Glancing at the person on the hospital bed, he wiped away his tears again, "Your father has been in trouble for so many years, and his business has suffered miserably, but he never thought of looking for you, just because he didn't want to affect you. Of course, he also feels that he owes you , I have no face to look for you."

Bai Wan didn't react at all, his heart was already in ruins.

Fu Ye followed his gaze and landed on the man, and couldn't help but feel a shivers down his spine.He was born with a lot of flowers and good luck, and he almost never had a naked face to face with such a tragic death.But death is a proposition that no one can escape.For some reason, he looked at Bai Shiying, and a thought suddenly popped up in his heart, if one day he was lingering on the sick bed like this and was exhausted, he would definitely not let the person he loves accompany him.

He would rather die alone in an unknown valley like a herd of suicidal elephants.

But what if his lover thinks the same way?

Fu Ye couldn't help but glanced at Bai Wan, and suddenly felt a deep sadness.People are still too small, and the so-called great feelings are actually easy to fall into the vulgar.Some cannot withstand time, and some cannot withstand death.

"Bai Wan, let's go back first." He softly called Bai Wan's name and pulled him up.Bai Wan didn't refuse, he seemed to have lost his ability to resist, he numbly let Fu Ye push him out of the ward, all the way out of the inpatient building.

It was evening, and the dark blue sky was filled with cold clouds, and the wind was blowing violently, bringing with it cold water vapor, which fell on the face like tears.

Fu Ye opened a double room in the hotel next to the hospital. After the two of them checked in, the time was suddenly free.

Bai Wan sat on the bed in a daze, her pair of clear eyes lost their former brilliance.Fu Ye felt distressed when he saw it. Although he didn't know what happened to Bai Wan's family, nor did he know what kind of relationship Bai Wan had with his father, but he knew that Bai Wan was a kind person with a soft heart. A good person, like the snail tattooed on his chest, looks cold and tough, but is actually the most vulnerable.

He walked over and sat beside Bai Wan, and asked softly, "Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?"

Bai Wan numbly shook his head.

"You still have to eat, otherwise how will you take care of your father?"

Bai Wan thought of something and asked, "Are you hungry?"

In fact, Fu Ye has no appetite, but staying like this is not an option. He wanted to divert Bai Wan's attention, so he deliberately said: "Yeah, I haven't eaten anything all day. Do you have any special food in your hometown?"

Bai Wan lowered her head and thought for a while, then pulled herself together and said, "Let's go, I'll take you to eat spicy noodles."

The streets and alleys of Zhicheng have been transformed beyond recognition, but the school is still there.Bai Wan brought Fu Ye to the alley behind Zhicheng No. [-] Middle School. The two got out of the car and searched along the road.

More than ten years have passed like running water, and the students who come and go have changed one after another, but Bai Wan is pleasantly surprised to find that the old spicy noodle restaurant is still in the same place, but the small street vendor in those days is now gone. It's a serious restaurant.

Bai Wan and Fu Ye walked in, the school was on winter vacation, and there were very few diners in the restaurant.Bai Wan sat down in a corner and ordered two bowls of signature spicy noodles.

"This was my favorite food back then."

"The name sounds hot," Fu Ye said with a smile, "Aren't you worried about your throat?"

"I didn't know how to sing at that time, I just liked to listen to songs." Bai Wan propped her head and thought about her past self, a smile slowly leaked from the corner of her mouth, "But I was very timid at that time, and I couldn't let go of it." open."

"You are the same now." Fu Ye looked at him and said.

Bai Wan didn't refute, she was silent for a while before whispering: "It's much better now."

It is indeed much better now, at least he dared to stand on the grand stage and sing his heart out to so many people.But could he be any braver?Bai Wan secretly glanced at Fu Ye, he was very grateful that Fu Ye could accompany him back, but apart from being grateful, he still couldn't deny the sweetness and surprise in his heart, that was the only thing that cheered him up during this gray journey. , Can he expect more?

Face came.A piece of bright red, it looks very spicy.But after Bai Wan tasted it twice, she found that the taste was different from what she remembered.

He suddenly thought of Faye Wong's "Red Bean", which was his favorite song when he was in junior high school.

"Sometimes, sometimes, I will believe that everything has an end, get together and leave, and sometimes, nothing will last forever."

Nothing lasts forever.

Bai Wan's mood suddenly sank again.Fu Ye noticed this keenly, and asked, "What's wrong? Isn't it delicious?"

"No, it's too spicy."

"It's okay, the company has insured your throat, it doesn't matter if you eat it once in a while." Fu Ye made a small joke.

Bai Wan forced a smile, and slowly picked up the noodles.

In fact, Fu Ye's mind wasn't on the food either. He took two bites, glanced casually, and noticed the outline of the gray gatehouse protruding from the lavender night outside.

"Is that your school?"

"Well. I studied there for six years."

Fu Ye stared at the ruined building in a daze, and could tell that it was actually a very small school.The most common type in small southern cities is not the same as foreign private schools.He imagined that Bai Wan spent his entire adolescence in this narrow and humid campus, imagined his timid and desperately looking for an exit life, like most ordinary students, a strange feeling suddenly appeared in his heart feelings.

Although he seldom self-criticized, but thinking about it carefully, a large part of his contempt for Bai Wan back then should have come from his arrogance.A large reason why he, Jiang Zhiming and Su Xu became good friends abroad is that their living classes are the same, or at least similar.But now that he is sitting here, sitting with Bai Wan in the noodle restaurant in the back alley of the school, time seems to turn back in an instant, as if he has returned to a campus life that he has never experienced before, ordinary, calm, and with a touch of youth sad……

In an instant, he seemed to have been opened up to both Ren and Du. From a cold-eyed bystander who stayed out of the matter, he became an empathetic person who truly understands the world.

In an instant, his heart softened suddenly.

"Bai Wan." Fu Ye shook Bai Wan's hand on the table violently.

"?" Bai Wan was taken aback and looked up at him in surprise. Fu Ye suddenly discovered that there were actually many emotions in Bai Wan's usually cold eyes. From the beginning, it was so lively, like a real youth.

Fu Ye felt his heart flapping its wings like a bird and flew up. This feeling of heartbeat was even more exciting than when he saw Jiang Zhiming for the first time. It was not because he was attracted by his appearance and talent, but because he Truly love and pity his soul.

"Sorry to bother you." A crisp female voice cut in obliquely, breaking the ambiguous atmosphere.

Bai Wan came to her senses and quickly withdrew her hand.

Fu Ye frowned, turned around, and saw three girls standing in front of them, smiling and huddled together.

"Excuse me, may I ask, are you Senior Brother Bai Wan?" one of the girls with a nice voice asked.

"I..." Bai Wan subconsciously wanted to deny it, but a fat girl said first, "You are right?! Brother, don't deny it!"

Fu Ye looked around. Fortunately, there were only a few of them in the restaurant. He made a small gesture and asked, "Who are you?"

"We are fans of Senior Brother Bai Wan!" The girls were very excited and chirped, "Senior Brother Bai Wan, can you sign us?"

Bai Wan didn't expect to encounter such a thing next to the school, so she smiled awkwardly and nodded.

"Great!" The girls hurriedly took out notebooks and pens from their schoolbags and handed them to him.

"Brother, I never expected to meet you here!"

"Are you back to visit relatives?"

"My God, if I tell my classmates, they won't believe me!"

"It's the right thing to go to cram school today."

Bai Wan listened to their chatter and signed autographs for each of them.

At this time, one of the girls suddenly stretched out the notebook in front of Fu Ye: "Handsome guy, can you sign one too?! I think you look familiar!"

They obviously didn't recognize Fu Yelai.Fu Ye smiled, and deliberately asked, "Why do I have to sign?"

"Because you're handsome!" The girl was very courageous, and asked with a smile, "Are you a colleague of Senior Brother Bai Wan? Are you going to debut soon?"

"No, I'm..." Fu Ye took a meaningful look at Bai Wan, and Bai Wan's heart tightened, for fear that he would say something shameful, and almost covered his mouth with his hands, but Fu Ye was serious Say, "I'm his friend."

"Are you from Chicheng too?" the girl asked, "I really think you look familiar, are you a star?"

"I'm not. I came back to visit relatives with Bai Wan."

"Wow," the girls let out a burst of secret laughter, "then you must have a very good relationship."

"It's not bad." Fu Ye gave them a wink, "But we came back secretly, so keep it secret and don't post on Weibo."

It's too exaggerated!Bai Wan complained in her heart.But it was obvious that the girls liked it very much, and they nodded repeatedly with red eyes.

Bai Wan was amused.

My mood suddenly brightened up again.

After the three girls left happily, Bai Wan also paid the bill and left with Fu Ye.

It was already dark, and the gentle street lights turned on, illuminating the front as a river.They walked side by side by the river, neither of them speaking.

Strangely, at this moment, Bai Wan didn't feel nervous or embarrassed anymore, as if walking beside Fu Ye was a very natural thing, and her heart was at peace.Fu Ye was half a head taller than him, and his steps were bigger, but he deliberately slowed down and waited for Bai Wan. The shoulders of the two of them would touch each other from time to time, bumping lightly, and then separated again, bumped again, separated again, until The skin rubbed against the thick coat to produce fine sparks.

When crossing the road, Fu Ye was finally not satisfied with this nonchalant, he took advantage of the opportunity to grab Bai Wan's hand, and gently squeezed it, which weighed more than a thousand catties.

Bai Wan's heart trembled, before she could resist, Fu Ye grabbed hold of her tightly.

Fu Ye led him across the road under the cover of night.Just dozens of steps, like a long life.

Bai Wan thought, even if he didn't get anything in the end, the temperature Fu Ye left on his hand this winter night when he crossed the road was like the palm prints engraved on his palm, and he would never lose it again.

They walked across the street, as if there was no longer any reason to hold hands like this, Bai Wan broke free from Fu Ye's hand.

Fu Ye didn't say anything, just looked at him and smiled, his eyes reflected the light of the street lamp, like dazzling gems.

Bai Wan was made uncomfortable by his laughter, and quickly changed the subject: "I always think that Aunt Luo looks a little strange at me."

Fu Ye said: "Don't tell me you can't see it."

"You mean, she and my dad..."

Fu Ye nodded, hesitated for a moment, and asked, "Where's your mother?"

The topic suddenly became serious.

Seeing that Bai Wan didn't answer for a long time, Fu Ye said: "It's okay, you don't have to say it if you don't want to."

"she left."

"died?"

"No, the marriage between her and my dad was a mistake, and she has no affection for our family. In my first year of high school, she left. In the first year, my dad was still looking for her, but then he gave up."

Fu Ye didn't expect to hear this answer. He had heard Bai Wan call "Mom" several times when he was unconscious. He always thought that Bai Wan's mother had passed away.

"Then she never came home to see you?"

"No." Bai Wan smiled self-deprecatingly, "My birth was a mistake, maybe she wished she had never given birth to me!"

This was the deepest wound in Bai Wan's heart. He had never told anyone about it, but now that he told Fu Ye, it didn't seem so painful.

After all, he is almost 30 years old, even if he is unpopular, he has existed in this world for almost 30 years.

"Bai Wan, it's not your fault."

"I know."

Fu Ye raised his voice: "Bai Wan, it's not your fault, do you understand?"

"I know."

Suddenly, Fu Ye pressed Bai Wan's shoulder, brought him forcefully in front of him, and grabbed his hand again, as if to give him strength.

At that moment, being stared at by Fu Ye's deep eyes, Bai Wan even had the illusion that he wanted to kiss her.

Every muscle in Bai Wan's body tensed up.

At this time, the cell phone rang suddenly, and Bai Wan saw that it was his father's call, and the blood in his whole body went cold instantly.

He looked at Fu Ye, his lips trembled, and his hands also began to tremble: "Fu, Fu Ye, I..."

Fu Ye immediately understood that they had just come out of the hospital, and Aunt Luo would call them at this moment, and it was probably bad news.

He wanted to take the phone out of Bai Wan's hand, but Bai Wan stopped him.

"Let me do it." Bai Wan took a deep breath, tried to stand still, and pressed the call button.

Aunt Luo's panicked voice came from the other end of the phone: "Bai Wan, come to the hospital quickly, your father is dying!"

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Finally came up, huh~~~