Ask your heart and soul

The plane flew across the blue and lonely winter sky, from north to south, and flew to a small city in the south-central city - Zhicheng.It was the place where Bai Wan was born and grew up, and it was also the cage he couldn't escape from. After so many years, he never went back.

But the day before, he got that call.The number belonged to his father Bai Shiying. When he was a child, whenever he saw his father calling, his scalp would tingle and his whole body would tremble, because it often meant that his father was looking for trouble for him, and it might be another beating or scolding.Later, before leaving home, he deleted Bai Shiying's contact information. He thought that he could make a complete break with the old life, but he didn't expect that this string of numbers had already been deeply engraved in his bones , just like the genetic sequence of his parents is deeply imprinted in his DNA.

He couldn't get rid of the blood entanglement, so he still wanted to come back.

The number is Bai Shiying's, but the person on the other end of the phone is not his father, but a strange woman who claims to be his father's friend and tells him that Bai Shiying is dying, and it will only take two days to leave. , and asked him to come back to see Bai Shiying for the last time.

As soon as she heard the news, Bai Wan thought it was a prank.The self-protection mechanism subconsciously refused to believe this fact, but when he came back to his senses, he realized that he had already burst into tears.

For a moment, he couldn't believe that he shed the tears. He hadn't cried for a long time, so how could he cry for a man who had lost contact and relationship.He didn't have any feelings for his father. When he was a child, maybe he had a little hope for this man, hoping that he could love him like an ordinary father, take him to play, and teach him the principles of life; but in high school, especially after his mother left , his only expectation is to leave home, leave this man, far away, and never come back.

Hearing the news of his father's serious illness, a thought flashed in Bai Wan's mind that he could finally get rid of him forever and completely, but the next second he burst into tears, as if a big hole had been opened in his heart, and he couldn't stop No matter how you live, you can't fill it up.

He didn't even know why.

Bai Wan wore big sunglasses, covered her red and swollen eyes, and stared out of the porthole with her lips tightly pressed.There was no sunshine, the weather was very gloomy, and the tumbling sea of ​​clouds was like huge gray waves. The plane passed through the waves, and from time to time entered a dark yellow airflow area, and began to bump up and down.Bai Wan's fingers were nervously digging at the metal buckle of the seat belt, the cold and sharp touch brought him pain and pleasure, he couldn't help but keep pushing hard, but suddenly, his hand was held.

"Don't pick it up, it's going to break." Fu Ye picked up his left hand and put it on his lap, "Relax, it's fine."

Bai Wan's fingers convulsed and twisted together in a twisted shape.Fu Ye gently stretched them one by one, and under his patient caress, they finally calmed down like tired little animals.

"Thank you."

"I'm very good at massage, you can try it some other day." Fu Ye joked.

Bai Wan forced a smile, leaned her head back on the chair, and closed her eyes.

In fact, he still didn't dare to look at Fu Ye.He cried loudly in front of Fu Ye the day before, and was ashamed and thrown at his grandma's house. Once he woke up, he felt extremely embarrassed.But he still remembers the feeling of being dripping with joy at that time, as if the tears broke through the long-term imprisonment, and finally let him be relieved for a short time.

While crying bitterly, he intermittently told Fu Ye about the phone call, and Fu Ye immediately expressed that he would come with him.Bai Wan didn't know what she was thinking at the time, but she acquiesced.He didn't regret it until Fu Ye told him after he bought the plane ticket, took leave of absence and took care of everything.

Fu Ye should not be allowed to come, this is his own past, his own family affairs, and an outsider should not be involved.

But Fu Ye inserted into his life so quickly, and participated in it with an overwhelming momentum, he had no time to refuse, couldn't refuse, and he couldn't bear to refuse.

He has been alone for too long, and he can handle many things, even if he can't do it, he gritted his teeth and survived.However, if he were to face his long-abandoned hometown and his dying relatives alone, he was afraid that he would collapse.

Just be weak this time, Bai Wan said to herself, just this time.

His mind was in a mess, and although his eyes were closed, he didn't feel much sleepiness.In a daze, he felt that someone adjusted the pillow behind him for him, and covered his legs with a thin blanket.He could still feel a warm gaze resting on his face for a long time. After a while, the heat on his face subsided, and the steady and rhythmic breathing of that person sounded beside him.

Bai Wan suddenly felt very at ease. In the quiet space of the first-class cabin, he heard his own heartbeat. He was no longer nervous and excited, but was beating his chest steadily and orderly just like Fu Ye.Amidst the constant beating of the heart, Bai Wan's consciousness gradually blurred...

"Bai Wan? Bai Wan? Wake up, we're here."

Bai Wan slowly opened his eyes. The world was tilted. He reacted for two seconds before he realized that his head had slipped down at some point and was leaning on Fu Ye's shoulder.

"Are you here?" He quickly sat upright, his face blushing slightly.

Seeing his appearance, Fu Ye felt itchy, and just wanted to tease him.But when he remembered why they came here, it seemed inappropriate to say these words, so he gave up in time.He stretched his arms, put on sunglasses and a mask, and got up to get his luggage.

"Let's go, we're in Zhicheng."

After not coming back for more than ten years, Zhicheng has undergone earth-shaking changes.There are many cars and people, new buildings are springing up one after another, new urban areas are constantly expanding, and the streets and alleys of the old urban areas are also taking on a new look.Sitting in the taxi, Bai Wan stared at the scene outside the window, feeling a strong sense of strangeness and panic in her heart.He finally realized that during the past ten years, it was not he who abandoned his hometown, but his hometown who abandoned him.

Perhaps since that year, when he resolutely went north to study, he has been a rootless person.

As if sensing his frustration, Fu Ye suddenly said, "Now that I want to go back to the city where I used to study and live, I must feel strange."

Bai Wan was successfully distracted: "Where did you grow up?"

"I was born in Chicago. As long as I can remember, I haven't stayed in one place for a full year, and I have been traveling around the world with my parents. Many people envy this kind of life, but in fact, for a child, it's scary. Yeah. You never make long-lasting friends... I, I was pretty lonely."

Bai Wan was stunned for a moment, he didn't expect to hear the word "loneliness" from Fu Ye.After all, he looks so powerful, brave, and omnipotent, without any psychological shadow.

"However," Fu Ye smiled, "I didn't tell anyone about this feeling. It was too strong at that time. My parents gave me the best living conditions and learning environment. I will worry about giving new words. It seems very hypocritical." He paused lightly, and then said, "I have been to countless cities, but Boston is the most impressive. Because it was the first city I lived in. I studied music there for eight years. and made a lot of good friends.”

Bai Wan thought of Jiang Zhiming and Su Xu, and felt sore: "Then, did you go back after that?"

"Of course, I have been back several times, and every time I feel very strange. Even though the street buildings have not changed much, the people are different, and the state of mind is also different." Fu Ye sighed slightly, "The ancients said that 'things are people. That's probably what non' means."

Bai Wan was still smacking at Fu Ye's words, when he suddenly changed the subject and said, "So don't feel sad, since ancient times, many people have been like you, and I've been like you too. But I'm not living well The most important thing for people is to look forward."

Bai Wan suddenly realized that Fu Ye was cornering the corner to comfort him.

His heart warmed up, and even the southern winter was not so cold and cold anymore.

The taxi went straight to the No.1 People's Hospital in Zhishi. Outside the intensive care unit of the oncology department, Bai Wan met Aunt Luo who claimed to be her father's friend.It was a middle-aged woman in her 40s, with delicate features and a small beauty, but perhaps because she had been accompanying patients in the hospital, she looked very haggard, her hair was tied back in a mess, her complexion was gray and lifeless.

"Are you... Bai Wan?" She looked straight at her with reddened eyes, but Bai Wan felt that her eyes were not focused, as if she was looking at someone else through herself, "You look really good Like..." She stopped talking suddenly, tears quickly accumulated in her eyes, "Go in and have a look, he has been calling your name."

From the moment Bai Wan entered the hospital, his footsteps seemed to be covered with a ton of glue, and he was almost dragged up by Fu Ye.And now, he dared not go in.

Across a thin wooden door, it seems to be separated by an insurmountable moat.What he wants to overcome is not just a ward, but the 29 years that he has never lived in peace, the shadow of childhood, the pain of youth, the determination to escape, and the rootless loss.Only then did he realize that he was not brave. He had reached a settlement with Sui Feng and with his first budding love, but he never dared to touch the thin thread of family affection.

"I..." Bai Wan trembled involuntarily, he already wanted to run away.

Fu Ye embraced him, squeezed his shoulders hard, and whispered: "Don't be afraid, Bai Wan, I'm here."

I am here.

These are really magical three words.

Fu Ye's deep, dark eyes miraculously gave Bai Wan a burst of strength, and he took a step forward slowly.

Fu Ye also followed up and squeezed his hand heavily: "Go. I'll wait for you."

Bai Wan finally pushed open the door.

A few steps away, a scrawny man was lying on his back on a hospital bed, his body covered with tubes, moaning in pain.He was not awake, and Bai Wan came in without any reaction, like a person who was completely swallowed by pain, there was only endless torture and pain in the world, and he was cut off from reality.

Bai Wan was in a trance for a moment. Is this man his father Bai Shiying?

The Bai Shiying in his memory, although he was always drunk, was suave and suave when he was sober. He was tall, with good taste, and among all the business bosses, he was the most pleasing to women.How could he be tortured like this by the disease?

He heard from Aunt Luo on the phone that his father had liver cancer, and it was already at an advanced stage when he was discovered. He tried various methods to delay it for more than half a year, and it was really exhausting.

"He didn't let me tell you before, saying that he had nothing to do with you a long time ago, you are a big star, don't affect your career. But I know he still thinks of you in his heart, otherwise he wouldn't keep calling you when he was unconscious name," Aunt Luo sobbed, "I made it my own to let you come back, and he will definitely blame me when he finds out, but I can't let him leave without a relative by his side."

Bai Wan stumbled a few steps and came to the hospital bed. This time, he saw his father's face clearly.

The sunken, distorted face, riddled with cannulae, was like a nightmare in the dark.

Bai Wan clutched the edge of the bed tightly, restraining herself from crying.

As if sensing someone approaching, Bai Shiying on the hospital bed twitched and moved her lips.

"Little night..."

When Bai Wan heard her name, she rushed out like a cannonball with a very weak air current, broke through his defense line, and rushed to the most vulnerable place in his heart.

With a bang, something was blown to pieces.