summer love

What is history?There is no precise definition.

I like Li Qingzhao because of her talent.The love between her and Zhao Mingcheng is amazing. How can a single woman survive in troubled times?Since survival is not easy, how can I continue my husband's career ("Jinshilu")?But she did it.

Knowing the news of my brother's death, I have a deeper understanding of Li Qingzhao's experience.As homosexuals, we are not yet accepted by our parents, let alone this society.How has society ever left us a little life.So I have to be stronger and stick to it no matter what, not only for myself but also for loving myself and the people I love.

What is love?There is no precise definition.

My misunderstanding of him is to stand in my position, although I always think that we have to think in other people's position, but I don't know his situation.His love for me is also from his point of view, maybe he has considered it from my point of view, but I have never been as he imagined.All the mistakes, in the final analysis, because we love each other.

Li Qingzhao's "Death of a Lonely Goose" expresses my state of mind at this time:

Rattan bed and paper tents sleep in the morning, endless talk, no good thoughts.The agarwood is intermittently cold in the jade furnace, and my feelings are like water with me.The sound of the flute plays three times, Mei's heart is broken, how much spring travel.

The small wind dredged the rain, and it made Qianxing cry again.The flute player goes to Yulou to empty, who will he lean on with a heartbroken heart?If a branch is broken, no one can send it to the world or the sky.

I love him and I am willing to wait for his change of heart.But even this slim chance was never left to me, what can I do.Only by being strong can I survive in this world, no one can protect me from the wind and rain, only myself.

His wife and I sat in a corner of a tea room, relatively silent.I ordered a pot of Kuding tea, I don't know if she likes it or not.I haven't drunk it for a long time. A few years ago, my stomach got worse and worse, and I couldn't bear the cold tea.But today I really want to drink, and I want to drink thick Kuding tea, so I asked the waiter to triple the amount of tea.I used to get angry a lot, always brewed Kuding tea, and even he liked to drink it.He said that my lips are bitter, and I can't get used to it if I don't drink it.There are sweet memories in this bitter tea.

I didn't know how to speak, but his wife spoke first.She said: "I'm sorry I was too excited yesterday, but I believe you can understand me."

"I can understand how you feel."

She looked at the tea on the table and said, "He drinks this tea every day at home, and I always prepare it for him. I didn't expect you to like this too."

I was still speechless and didn't know how to answer.In her eyes, her husband is not only herself, but also the shadow of the two of us. I don't want to break her good memories.But how can it not be broken.

I just listened quietly to her calmly. "Zhang Longtao and I grew up together. Later, when our house was demolished, my family never moved back. We met at school by chance in high school and found out that we were in the same school. He was one year older than me, and he was always like a big brother. Take care of me. I thought he liked me, but who knows..." She stroked her hair around her ears and looked out the window.

I observed her carefully, and her elegant demeanor and good conversation were indeed the type my brother liked.Compared with their childhood sweethearts, the so-called love between me and Zhang Longtao is so unbearable. She is really suitable to be my brother's girlfriend.

She went on to say: "After graduation, I went back to my hometown to work as a high school math teacher. That school was our high school alma mater, and his mother also worked there. After knowing where I also worked, I tried my best to match the two of us. .”

"Yes, it's very suitable that you are childhood sweethearts." I really couldn't calm down at this moment.It wasn't until I said it that I felt inappropriate, so I took a big sip of Kudingcha to keep myself awake.At this time, I couldn't care about the stomach pain anymore, because my heart hurt even more.

After listening to what I said, she just smiled lightly.Then he said: "When he came home that year, the family arranged for the two of us to go on a blind date. When he saw me, he said that he already had someone he loved, and it was impossible for him to be with me."

I was so excited that I couldn't hold the tea in my hand and spilled it on the table.He interrupted her and asked, "Really, did he really say that?" As he spoke, he grabbed her hand on the table naturally, and she frowned in pain.Only then did I realize that I had lost my composure, so I hurriedly said modestly.Fortunately, there are only two of us in the store at this time, so it won't embarrass the two of us more.

I think back to the night before we parted, the last night we were together, and then we met again but it was a different person.The two of us sat on the couch watching TV, bored.Suddenly his phone rang, and he asked me to get his phone, and I patted him on the thigh, calling him lazy.Then he got up from his arms and went to get her cell phone.He glanced at the screen and said, "Damn's phone".At that time, we called each other's parents "Mom and Dad" when we were together.

After answering the phone, he said: "The family asked him to go back to go on a blind date. The girl is Liu Qingtao, she is very beautiful. We are neighbors. She and I go to the same school. Now I work in the same unit as my mother, and my mother likes her very much..."

Seeing the change in my expression, he took my hand and said, "What's wrong with Feather?" I said, "I'm happy for you. Your mother found such a good wife for you. Even your names are lovers. money."

He hugged me in his arms and said with a smile: "It's great, my family Feather is jealous again! I like my family Feather jealous of me the most." Then he said solemnly: "I'm going to go back this time to make things clear and tell Dad Mom and us. Whether they admit it or not, they have to let them know that his son brought him another son home."

"Mom is not in good health, take it easy, don't frighten her old man."

He said: "Mom is not old yet, besides what kind of students Mom has never seen in school, she will not take such small things to heart." But it turned out that we were wrong.

As soon as my hand hurt, I came out of my memory. It turned out that she poured hot tea into my cup for me.I hurriedly said modestly, and said with a little apology: "I'm sorry, I remembered some past events."

She was noncommittal and said, "It's okay, your life has been very hard these years. I understand the pain of leaving a lover's life." After speaking, she forced a smile at me, and that smile was very bitter.She took a sip of tea, as if digesting my trance just now, and looked at me quietly, as if waiting for my response.

"These years, I've been doing well." Then he drank the tea in front of him, "After he went home to go on a blind date, the two of us didn't contact each other. Later, I just heard that he got married, mom..." Suddenly Realizing that I said something wrong, I quickly changed my words: "Your mother passed away. Would you mind telling me these things? No matter how I asked my brother, or his classmates or colleagues before, they didn't tell me. Just Even Brother Jie is hiding it for him." While speaking, I don't know why my tears flowed down.It is said that a man does not flick his tears lightly, but most people forget the last sentence, because they have not yet reached the point of sadness.

She said: "There are many things in it, and I don't know. I only know that the morning after he came back and we met, I found that Chenchen's grandma didn't come to work when I arrived at work. My colleagues said that she had asked for leave. Since I have never seen her ask for leave since I arrived at work. As soon as I arrived at the classroom that day, Chenchen’s grandpa called me and asked me to go to the hospital, saying that Chenchen’s grandma was hospitalized. Only after I went there did I know that it was a sudden cerebral hemorrhage , the chance of recovery is very small. We waited in the hospital until night, she suddenly woke up, took me and Zhang Longtao's hand and said, get married. That look seemed to be begging someone. He agreed very reluctantly, saying that he would marry me immediately .My parents knew the situation of their family, so they agreed. So we got married in a hurry, and my grandma passed away on the second day of our wedding. She was a very kind person."

I listened to her speak quietly.

"It took less than ten days from when he agreed to get married to us holding the wedding ceremony and finishing the funeral of Grandma Chenchen. After the funeral, he suddenly said to me, let's get a divorce. I didn't touch you, you still Clean and tidy, we got married just to give my mother an explanation, and now her old man has gone. Yes, we haven't shared the same bed since we got married." When I said this, I could hear the resentment in her heart.

"Why do you want me to be a victim, why? I was almost crazy at that time, I didn't want to, I really didn't want to. I know he doesn't love me, but we have been together for so many years since we were young, I believe he will fall in love slowly Mine. So I pretended to promise him, and that night, I got him drunk." I know his drinking capacity very well, and he doesn't get drunk so easily.I just heard her continue talking, and at this moment there was a smile on the corner of her mouth: "Yes! He can drink so well, how could he get drunk so easily, I put it in his drink..." She didn't say the following words, Just glanced at me and I knew what it meant.

"He is a responsible person. After that night, he never said that he wanted to divorce. Although he is usually unhappy, I believe that as time goes by, he will be better and better to me. Later I have Chenchen, sure enough he took care of me more considerately."

My elder brother likes children very much. We used to tease my sister's children together.At that time he said to me, you have to give me such a lovely daughter to play with.I yelled at him, "Play? You gave birth to play?"

He said happily: "You have agreed, we will go home to have a baby tonight." After speaking, he kissed me.We both know that it is impossible for us to have children in this lifetime, so we take extra care of other people's children.When he saw surrogacy on the Internet, he said, I have to work hard to make money.When you have money, find a surrogate and give birth to twins, one for you and one for me. How happy our family of four is.Yes, how happy!But such happiness can only be a memory.

I just heard her go on to say: "Except for that one time, we never.... I know he only loves you, but he dare not contact you. He even asked his classmates and colleagues not to tell you his news, so that you can be right He gave up."

"That key was given to me when he was dying. Say you know where the house is. Well, everything that needs to be said is clear, and my mission is complete."

It took me a long time to relax after I stayed there after listening to him.It kept appearing in my mind that he still loves me and still loves me.At this time, I burst into laughter, he still loves me, and he has not forgotten me.I looked at his wife across the way, not knowing what to say.

Then I knelt down on my knees and said to her: "He is sorry for you, I will pay his debts for him. I will definitely help you raise your children, no one can bully your mother and daughter. From today, Chenchen is my daughter."

She didn't speak, and she walked out in tears.

After a long time, the waiter came to tell me that everyone was looking at me, and then I got up from the ground, and it was already afternoon.Back at the B&B, I asked the front desk if their mother and daughter were in the room. The front desk said they had already checked out, but left me a note.

I sat at the desk and looked at the simple words on the letter, and my mood suddenly brightened. .

"In this love, after all, I am the one who is sorry for you. I chose the road and I can walk on it myself. It was he who told me about your agreement that you will come to this homestay in September this year."

There is no right or wrong in love, only dare to love and dare to bear.

He still loves me, and I love him too. The four years of waiting were not in vain. Even if I didn’t wait for him, at least I knew he still loved me. Although he is no longer alive, I will never forget him in my life. , He will always live in my heart and also in the hearts of his wife and daughter.

I have not lost and have always been a winner in this game of love, and both my love for him and his love for me have only grown deeper.