[APH Luzhong] Ivan Diary

bird.

Ivan quietly ate a piece of steamed sweet potato, but Wang Yao's anxious expression was in his mind.

Yaojun like that has never been seen... What happened?

Worry was like a little mouse, nibbling on Ivan's heart, itching and uncomfortable.Unknowingly, Ivan put away the lunch box and walked slowly to the corridor by himself.

Ivan looked around, sure enough, Wang Yao was nowhere to be seen.

But to be honest, Ivan felt that the current self was not qualified to understand that child.

Because, "Are we friends now...?", the current Ivan actually has this question.

"Tch, none of them play with Grandpa Ben... Grandpa Ben is also very happy alone! Go find Asi..."

Suddenly, a person bumped into Ivan's shoulder, and Ivan recognized from the hoarse voice that it was Gilbert.Ivan immediately thought that it was okay, he met him at school, so he didn't dare to mess around.

Gilbert turned his head and saw Ivan.Ivan subconsciously looked away and stood against the wall.

Gilbert seemed to be in a hurry to find trouble with Ivan, and walked back to Ivan's side and yelled loudly: "Hey, what are you doing standing here?"

"Nothing..." Ivan replied perfunctorily.

Ivan was irritated enough now, but Gilbert liked to harass him, and he was utterly annoyed at the moment.

"Hmph, look at your wimpy face!" Gilbert said disdainfully, "you can tell me what's wrong with you! Coward."

"No, it's really nothing..." Ivan continued patiently.

"Cut!" Fortunately, Gilbert didn't have time to talk to Ivan today, so he made a face at Ivan and left on his own: that strange boy, with a dead expression on his face!Don't care about him, go find Axi!

After Gilbert left, the entire corridor seemed to be a little quieter.Ivan was still leaning against the wall in a daze, and many people ran in front of him, as if playing a silent movie.

——If you have any displeasure, just say it!coward.

--coward.

--speak out……

——Does Yaojun like me?

"I seem to like you Yaojun, does Yaojun like me?"

"Does Yaojun like me?"

Yaojun.

—How could it be said?

Maybe it would feel better to say it, but Ivan is a coward.He didn't dare to lose what he had, he couldn't take the risk of becoming a person again, even if the two of them drifted apart.

Because, he didn't want to lose that child, and he didn't want to be hated by that child.

However, if this continues, nothing will be saved, right?

*

In the afternoon, the rain gradually subsided, but Wang Yao never came back to class.Ivan asked the class teacher and said he was leaving early.

"Ivan Braginsky, let me warn you again," the class teacher pinched the bridge of his nose impatiently, "Don't deal with that family. You are still young and you will regret it..." He opened his eyes and glanced at Ivan Just one glance, the eyes mixed with malice were like stabbing a knife in Ivan's heart.

Ivan nodded indiscriminately, bowed his head and walked out of the office.

After Ivan closed the door, the teacher's conversation came from the office: "The bastard is looking for his bastard friend..." There was a burst of laughter.

Ivan walked slowly through the narrow corridor to the classroom.

——I want to see Yao.

As the rain fell, a strange idea blossomed in Ivan's mind:

It would be great if friends could grow like crops.

Then, I can have many Yaojuns.

Hiding Yaojun in the barn, only I know where he is, and only I play with him.

Just the two of us.

*

Dinner was a piece of dry and cold sweet potato, and the hungry Ivan quickly ate it up, as if he tasted the sweetness of delicacies from mountains and seas.Despite this, Ivan was still very hungry, so he stacked the sweet potato skins he had accumulated in his hands, pressed them tightly, put them in his mouth, chewed them a few times, and swallowed them. The skins contained the remaining sweet potatoes. sweet.

This is the way Sophia taught him, saying that if he is too hungry, he can imagine his favorite food and have a "picnic", then the stomach will not be too uncomfortable.

The so-called "picnic" is food that no one wants.

Ivan tried to imagine the smoked sausage made by Wang Yao, and swallowed the sweet potato skin at once. Sister Sophia is so smart.

Natasha slowly ate off the skin of her own sweet potato, leaving the golden flesh of the sweet potato.She broke the piece of sweet potato in half and handed half to Ivan: "Brother, this is for you..."

"Hey?" Ivan swallowed, "Is that okay? Won't Nata be hungry?"

Natasha blushed and shook her head: "I can't eat so much by myself, brother."

"Thank you, Nata." Ivan wiped his dirty cheek with the back of his hand and smiled.Natasha was looking at him brightly.

Ivan didn't say anything else, he took the sweet potato and gnawed it silently, the coldness spreading on his tongue.He thought that he would be a farmer himself in the future, and plant sweet potatoes on the whole mountain, eat them himself, Nata, his sister, and distribute them to other poor people...

And Yaojun.

"Sister, what's wrong with sister? I went out very early tonight." As if to cover up his shyness, Ivan quickly stuffed the remaining sweet potato cubes into his mouth and said inarticulately.

"..." Natasha's eyes darkened, "...work."

"Ah, it's work, have you found a part-time job again..."

After clearing the table, Ivan and Natasha moved the large bundles of wicker from the ground to the table, weaved baskets and baskets, both for their own use and for sale to others.

After about two hours of weaving, Ivan and Natasha's hands were covered with wounds drawn by branches, but luckily their hands had already grown calluses, and it didn't hurt, just itchy.

The neighbors seem to be very noisy tonight. Apart from the sound of playing cards and drinking every night, the sound of beating and scolding is obviously much louder tonight, as if there are a few more neighbors.If you listen carefully, you can tell that the perpetrator was overturning the table and smashing things. He was probably drunk and tortured his family members.

No matter how long he has lived here, Ivan is afraid of this sound, he hates violence and hurt, because he himself has been bullied for a long time.

Ivan let out a long breath, put down the work in his hand and rubbed his stiff fingers: "I'll go to the roof to rest, can Nata visit the house for a while? I'll be back soon." He pushed the chair away stood up.

Natasha's eyes wandered on Ivan's face, and she found that besides exhaustion, there were other thoughts in Ivan's eyes.

"Brother..." Natasha was about to ask, but she restrained herself so that Ivan could rest for a while, "You go, I will take care of the house."

"I'm leaving."

Ivan glanced back at the messy home, then quietly hid outside the door.The door creaked shut, and Natasha was alone in the room.

elder brother……

When Natasha didn't pay attention, her finger was pricked by a branch and bled.She stared blankly at the drop of blood, obsessed as if facing her lover, she slowly wiped the blood on her lips, gently.

It's like putting on the bride's lipstick for yourself.

brother.

*

"call……"

Ivan looked up at the night sky, there were no stars tonight, the sky was covered by dark clouds, and even the moon could not be seen.The spring night was still slightly chilly, Ivan shivered in the cool night wind, and quickly covered his face with the scarf.

Looking down, there are thousands of lights.

The rental house where Ivan's family lived was considered a taller building in this small town. When they climbed to the roof, they could almost see the whole town.When the noise below reached Ivan's ears, it weakened into whispers. As long as he stayed alone on the roof, Ivan would be able to obtain a short period of tranquility.

Ivan stepped on the tiles and sat down carefully on the roof ridge.

When Ivan was a child, he often hid on the roof. When sitting on the roof, he could easily calm down.Sadness and irritability are all melted away in the vast scenery without knowing it.Then, Ivan will speak softly to the silent town, pouring out his feelings.

Ivan stared at the hills in the distance and was stunned.At this time, he didn't know what to say, and his language became dry in the face of too heavy emotions.

In the past, Ivan was a smart kid. He knew how to protect himself from harm and how to deal with his emotions.He also understands that as the only man in the family, he also has to take responsibility to protect Sophia and Natasha, and he can't act like a baby to others.

So, hurry up and cheer up.

Ivan secretly cheered for himself in his heart.

He has been in a downturn during this time, and it would be bad if it made people worry.

Be a good boy, study hard, work hard, make friends...

Even though he fueled himself so much, Ivan was still very sad, and it was an indescribable sadness, like an onion fried in his chest, sour and bitter.

Probably, it was because he fell in love with his friend——Wang Yao.Moreover, Wang Yao is troubled by this, he is avoiding himself, maybe, should, very likely, they can't be friends anymore, the child hates himself.

What's worse, Ivan is still helpless, his daily life is shaken by his own ridiculous love affair.

"Hmm..." Ivan covered his mouth, imagining a soft touch on it.

——It feels like, when I think of this, I'm going to die of embarrassment and fear.If things go on like this, how are we going to continue to face that child...

Ivan gradually curled up his body.

The sound of beating and cursing from the window stirred Ivan's nerves and made his temples ache.

——But, I still want to see Yao, just to take a look at him, no matter whether he hates me or not, anyway let me