She is playing tricks on me again today (gl) + episode

But how can I think so?I treat her like that in my dreams all day, I should feel guilty!

I shouldn't think so, no!

It's disgusting, it's disgusting!

If she finds out that I have such nasty thoughts about her, she will definitely despise me, look down on me, and hide from me far away, just like hiding from the plague.

As long as I think of her disgusting appearance, I am afraid, really afraid.

I don't want to do this, I don't want to!

I didn’t have a needle at hand, so I quickly pinched my leg. I couldn’t do it through the thick jeans, so I reached into the clothes and pinched my waist with the tip of my nails. It hurts, it hurts. I looked at it and saw that the skin had been pinched, and now it was bruised and swollen.

But fortunately, I resisted the urge, and only patted her on the shoulder, didn't kiss her, let alone throw her down, acting like a simple good friend.

I asked her what was wrong, and she said she didn't know.

After asking for a long time, I realized that it was because I kept avoiding her, and she felt that she must have done something wrong.

Seeing her crying red eyes, wet eyes, I feel a little uncomfortable, I think I have to coax her, I can't bear to see her cry.

I coaxed her by telling her that I wanted to take the University of Political Science and Law, but I was afraid that I would not be able to pass the exam, so I didn't ignore her, but I just worked hard every day, and she didn't do anything wrong.

Because of my own filth and shamelessness, I feel very guilty for causing her to be so sad. Anyway, acupuncture is useful. I will do more injections on myself in the future, as long as she is happy.

We finally reconciled, and we don't have to avoid her anymore, but I don't feel relaxed at all. I don't know how long this superficial calm can last.

I'm scared.

October 10, Monday, moderate rain.

I had a dream again last night, and I dreamed of her again, this time the dream was very clear, maybe it has something to do with her hugging me yesterday, I feel that everything in the dream smells like her, even my breathing seems to be hot, When I opened my eyes in the morning, I couldn't tell the difference between dream and reality.

During the big class break, she sat in the front seat of me, turned around and talked to me on my desk, her eyes looking at me from bottom to top were a bit evil, just like in the dream when she was lying under me and looking at her bright red eyes. The tip of the tongue looked up at my phoenix eyes, and suddenly they overlapped.

I don't know why, but I was in a daze at that moment, and I couldn't help raising my hand to her face.

Her face is smooth and delicate, warm and hot, making my fingers extremely greedy. I slid all the way across her cheeks and stroked her lips. Messed up.

I want to poke into her mouth, touch her tongue, mess her up, look into her wet eyes, hear her uncontrollable voice, want to...

At that moment, I thought I was dreaming and couldn't control my behavior at all.

Fortunately, fortunately, as soon as my finger got into her lips, the class bell rang, and I suddenly woke up!

She was still looking at me with confused eyes. I was so hot that I quickly withdrew my hand, but she raised it up and touched her own lips, and asked me if something was on her mouth?

I hurriedly said that it was stained with something black and I didn't know what it was, and I covered it up, my heart was beating wildly.

My fingertip was so hot, it touched her, really touched, really really!

I licked my finger, just now.

A bit regretful, I knew I would not wash my hands.

I touched myself for the first time with those two fingers, imagining that she was touching me, with her thin lips...

It's 27:[-] in the morning, I got up and changed into panties, these two fingers are too scary, I have to get up early to do laundry tomorrow.

November 11, Wednesday, yīn.

The recent dream has become more and more real, and the reality is terrifying.

Last night I dreamed that I was in the classroom, and I pressed her on the desk and pulled her school uniform. She was very scared and struggling desperately, but I was unwilling to let her go, and finally I did that kind of thing forcefully.

After I was done, I stood up contentedly, but saw blood under her body, and the blood was dripping on the desk, scarlet like real!

In the dream, I was terrified. I left her and ran home alone. I rummaged through boxes and cabinets to find the needle box. I finally found it, but my hands shook badly. I hit the box several times without opening the lid. , The needle was scattered all over the ground again.

I crawled on the ground, no matter if it was a needle or a needle, I just picked it up and stabbed it on my leg, all over my leg!

There were so many needles on the ground that I couldn’t finish picking them up. In the end, my whole body was covered with needles, on my legs, stomach, arms, even my face, mouth, eyeballs, and all over my body. Needle, there is nowhere to stick it anymore.

As a dense phobia, I was disgusted by myself in the dream, and I kept vomiting, vomiting in a daze, but I breathed a sigh of relief.

The me in the dream feels like it doesn't hurt at all, it's really just a dream, it's great.

If there is one person in this world that I don't want to hurt no matter what, it must be her, yes, it must be her.

I didn't hurt her.

I was relaxed in the dream, but I was so scared when I woke up.

What should I do if one day I really can't distinguish between dreams and do such terrible things?

I got up in the middle of the night and secretly checked the information on the Internet. It seems to say that dreams are the outlet of human emotions, and doing whatever you want in dreams can greatly relieve the pressure of reality.

In this case, does it mean that the more indulgent I am in my dream, the better?

Anyway, it's just a dream, she won't know it, so just indulge in the dream, relieve the pressure of reality, and avoid doing irreversible things.

Give it a try.

6th, Friday, strong wind.

No class tomorrow!

The rare weekend in a century, happy!

She said that she would come to my house to play tomorrow and do her homework by the way.

Sure enough, if I indulged in my dream, the pressure in reality is much less, and there have been fewer needle sticks recently, and everything will gradually get better.

Do your homework, do your homework, and if you finish it ahead of time, you can play more tomorrow~

7th, Saturday, heavy rain.

Unexpectedly, after such a thing happened, I could still sit here and write a diary.

Today she came to my house to play, and it started to rain halfway. When she came in, her coat was drenched and her hair was wet.

I quickly took a towel to help her dry her hair, she took off her coat, sat obediently by the bed, and let me manipulate her.

At that moment, in the small room, with the buzzing sound of the blower fan, she sat with her head slightly up, with a slight smile on her lips, her eyes were closed by the blower wind, her eyelashes trembled with the wind, that cute It looks almost exactly the same as in the dream.

My mind was suddenly in a trance, everything around me seemed to be distorted, everything disappeared, and my eyes were blurred, leaving only her alone.

I threw the blower and pressed her on the bed. I stroked her face, touched her lips, even reached into her bottoming shirt and rubbed her through her underwear. The touch was too touching. It's true, the real me is a little out of breath, and my eyes are faintly hot.

She pushed me while laughing and said it was very itchy.

I thought it was a dream, I really thought it was a dream, I put my whole body on her body, even pulled the buckle on her back, I pressed her hand, not allowing her to resist, I remember that I seemed to be She was laughing, her breathing became more and more chaotic, her head was getting lower and lower, and she was about to touch her lips!

suddenly!

The door opened, and my mother came in with a fruit plate for both of us.

I woke up suddenly and stood up quickly.

My mother has no doubts. Although she was confused for a moment, she has no doubts. In their pure thoughts, there may not be such terrible creatures as lesbians.

How can you doubt something that doesn't exist?

To be honest, if I hadn't become like this myself, I wouldn't have thought that there are despicable, nasty, disgusting, disgusting people like me in this world.

They all thought I was joking. After my mother left, she pressed me on the bed and rubbed me several times.

She thought she was taking revenge, but I didn't know how much I thought she kept pressing on me, touching me with her slender fingers and warm palms.

I probably will never forget that feeling in my life.

Not just the feeling of being touched by her, but most importantly, the feeling that the dream is indistinguishable from reality.

terrible……

Is it really okay to indulge yourself in this way and do whatever you want in your dreams?

No, I can't indulge myself like this anymore, because I can't guarantee that every dream must be... a dream.

Monday, February 11, sunny.

I had a dream again. In the dream, I subconsciously didn't dare to indulge myself, and kept forcing myself to wake up, but I couldn't wake up no matter what.

In the dream, she kept chasing me behind me, and I kept running, running, trying to find a needle to prick myself, but I couldn’t find it in the needle box everywhere, and finally found it, so I rushed In the past, the moment she caught it, she grabbed her leg and fell to the ground.