Single dogs start with the protection of elves

"withdraw"

Tang Haoran naturally likes these two words.

“Ding, withdrawal successful”

"Alipay arrived, 322 yuan"

Tang Haoran paused suddenly when the phone beeped.

Crazy value can be turned into money

Tang Haoran suddenly became interested, and after some questioning, he finally understood the function of the hat system: it allows the owner to do things that make people crazy and collapse, and obtain the so-called crazy value from others, and the crazy value can be exchanged for money. , and can also be exchanged for certain special items.

Tang Haoran is a man with a sense of justice.

Never succumb to the power of hats

But is it worth exchanging money for being crazy?

"It doesn't matter if it's money or not"

Tang Haoran's expression changed and he spoke sternly: "I mainly feel that this elf is quite interesting."

Lips turn into a crescent moon

While I was intoxicated, the phone suddenly rang.

"Tang Haoran, you want to starve me to death? It's already nine o'clock. Where's my breakfast? I finally understand. You scumbags won't love you after you catch them." A female voice came from the phone.

When Tang Haoran saw the note, he instantly became excited.

Oh my goodness,

Wife

I am so poor that I have a wife

What a conscientious person in the world of time travel. I gave you a gold finger and also gave it to my wife. Just after time travel, you can end your 30-year virgin life. Such a time travel experience is simply too good. My dear, I want to give you a five-star review.

etc.

something wrong

I haven't graduated yet, where can I find a wife?

Besides, finding a wife is so important.

If my wife is pretty, well, as long as she is pretty, it’s ok, everything else doesn’t matter.

But if I am five big and three thick, as strong as a man, shaped like Li Kui, and looks like Zhang Fei, how can I end my virginity? Thinking of being pushed down by such a woman and then forced to sleep with her, Tang Haoran felt dizzy and broke into a cold sweat.

Oh my god, it’s so scary

With the fear of "being slept on", Tang Haoran began to search for memories, and soon he breathed a sigh of relief.

Wife on the phone,

She has a good figure and looks 75 points

But she's not his real wife,

The girl's name is Chen Xiaojiao, and she is his girlfriend. He said that girlfriends are a bit reluctant. The two have been dating for three months. Chen Xiaojiao enjoys the rights of a girlfriend, but never fulfills her obligations as a girlfriend, and has never even acknowledged their relationship in front of outsiders. relation

Tang Haoran knew that he was a spare tire,

But he thought of her as his wife

Mader licking dog

"Tang Haoran, you are mute"

Tang Haoran was still reminiscing, but Chen Xiaojiao was unhappy.

After breaking up with your ex-boyfriend, you have to find a meal ticket to use first. Otherwise, in her eyes, Ms. Chen, she would choose you. Tang Haoran's family has no money and no power. You are not romantic enough or bad enough. You are handsome but useless and poor. silk one

"Busy, no time"

Tang Haoran was perfunctory and didn't want to pay attention to her.

His predecessor regarded Chen Xiaojiao as a goddess, but he had no feelings for her.

Girlfriend, it’s better to be new

Decided,

The first big thing to do in time travel is to change your girlfriend

"Ding, the newbie mission starts"

"Ding, novice mission: break up completely and become single."

"Ding, mission content: As a pure silk, you will always be dumped. So please release your true nature as soon as possible and let Chen Xiaojiao's madness rate reach 60. She will take the initiative to break up and help you become a single person and warn you of the dangers; This woman has the potential to turn my hat green.”

Tang Haoran became angry when he heard this

奸贼

Dog Elf

You are really deliberately trying to keep me single.

If I didn't like Chen Xiaojiao, I wouldn't agree. Yes, I don't like Chen Xiaojiao. If I'm struggling to break up, I'll break up.

"It's just you, what can you do?"

Chen Xiaojiao was impatient and asked irritably.

According to past rules, Tang Haoran would never go against her will and would come and go as soon as she was called.

"Okay, it will be delivered in five minutes."

Tang Haoran was perfunctory again and quickly hung up.

"Ding, congratulations to the master, you got 38 crazy points from Chen Xiaojiao."

"Ding, congratulations to the master, you got 38 crazy points from Chen Xiaojiao."

"Ding, congratulations to the master, you got 38 crazy points from Chen Xiaojiao."

"It's so interesting."

Looking at the series of income, Tang Haoran was very satisfied

Obviously Chen Xiaojiao didn't expect that he, the royal licking dog, would hang up on her, and the resentment in his heart would flow like a tide.

After washing and tidying up, Tang Haoran got dressed and went out.

After ten o'clock, he has to go to class.

As for bringing breakfast to Chen Xiaojiao, he never thought about it. From now on, he will not be a licker, he will be a scumbag.

Going out in the morning, the birds are singing and the flowers are fragrant.

The community where Tang Haoran lives has a pretty good environment.

The house was rented by him during his internship, and he originally wanted to find a classmate to share it with. Unexpectedly, Tang Yuxin came to the city for her third year of high school. She fell in love with this big house at first sight and refused to leave. Tang Haoran had no choice but to let her go.

"Bah"

As soon as I walked out of the hall, my feet suddenly slipped.

Tang Haoran jumped up, only to see a puddle of dog feces stuck to the soles of his sports boots. They were burnt and slightly thin, and had a stench that made people want to vomit.

On the clean trail, there is a puddle every few steps

fresh

Warm

"Sister, isn't it bad for dogs to poop everywhere?"

A beautiful woman in a white dress frowned. On her white leather boots, she had the same experience as Tang Haoran.

The target is a middle-aged couple. The two are sitting on a leisure bench. A teddy sticks out its long tongue and is wandering around the two of them excitedly. There is still a faint yellow color on the buttocks. It is obviously the initiator.

"You don't eat shit. Where my baby poops is none of your business."

The middle-aged woman hugged Teddy and sneered disdainfully.

You don’t eat shit

Damn it, that makes sense

Tang Haoran was shocked and recognized this woman.

This person's name spread throughout the community, and he had three dogs at home. The dogs usually barked to disturb the neighbors, frightened children, and urinated and defecated everywhere, making people full of resentment. However, the two refused to stop them. The real estate agent came to their door repeatedly and the police intervened many times, but to no avail.

The couple still goes their own way

This woman was so tough that when some neighbors came to argue with her, they were beaten back by her and scolded them. Several old ladies were so angry that they almost suffered a heart attack on the spot. From then on, the two became famous and were known as "" A harm to the community.”

"Why are you being unreasonable?"

The beauty in the white dress was stunned. She had never met such a person before.

"Who are you? Let me tell you the truth."

The woman sneered and attacked directly.

She has been in the world of quarrels for many years, and has encountered countless strong people, but she has never been defeated. Even if there were ten of these scumbags with a combat power of five, she would be able to scold her in seconds and make her doubt her life.

"you"

The beauty in the white dress was blushing and speechless.

Many people passed by and were attracted.

A few young people wanted to be heroes and save the beauty, but they were caught by their parents. You must not move around. If you provoke such a person, she can block your door and scold you for three days and three nights. Your father and mother have a bad heart. , just bear with it.

Everyone was indifferent, and the beauty felt so wronged

critical moment

"Give way"

"Everyone give in"

Tang Haoran couldn't help it anymore and stood out from the crowd with a loud voice.

Everyone looked over and saw that there were indeed many good people. Finally, someone came forward to cheer.

The beauty also looked forward to it and looked up at him.

"Little girl, you are quite beautiful, but why are you so small-minded?"

Tang Haoran strode forward and shouted majestically: "Young people, please be open-minded. It's just defecating everywhere. It's not a big deal."

""

Everyone was stunned for a moment.

Damn it, you're blind, who are you talking about? Was your conscience eaten by that teddy?

"Ah, is it my fault?"

The beauty in the white dress was stunned and at a loss.

I thought they were complaining on my behalf, but I didn’t expect that they were scolding me. Was it really my fault?

The middle-aged couple laughed secretly. Look, some people still agree with me.

"Of course it's your fault"

Tang Haoran pointed at Teddy and then at the middle-aged couple: "Look, everyone, although this child is covered in golden hair and has a strange bloodline, if you look closely at his face, eyes, lips, and figure, he is definitely his biological child, right? "

""

What the hell is your biological child?

Everyone didn't understand for a moment

"So, everyone must understand this aunt"

Tang Haoran spread his hands and pointed at the middle-aged couple: "It is very difficult for someone to give birth to a child after ten months of pregnancy, and then poop and urinate until it is so big. How difficult it is to have your own flesh and blood. Isn't it too much to pamper them more?"

"puff"

Some people couldn't help it and burst out laughing.

Damn it, my aunt was pregnant for ten months and gave birth to a dog.

“Not too much, not too much at all”

"What you say makes sense. Auntie is not young, and it is not easy for her to be pregnant for ten months."

"We have misunderstood. When you grow old and have a son, you will inevitably love him more because of the love of flesh and blood."

"We all understand that we are biological flesh and blood."

Everyone suppressed their laughter and followed up with their last-ditch attacks.

The beauty in the white dress came back to her senses, but she burst out laughing, her chest trembling up and down, and it was turbulent and spectacular.

"you"

The middle-aged couple woke up,

Damn, this is just cursing yourself in a roundabout way.

I'm not a dog. How could I have been pregnant for ten months and where could I have had the affection of flesh and blood?

With this face shape, these eyes, these lips, and this figure, are you calling me like a dog? In what way do I look like a dog? Well, when you say it, I do look a bit like it.

"Ding, congratulations to the master, you got 68 crazy points from Wu Shufen."

"Ding, congratulations to the master, you got 68 crazy points from Yang Dawei."

Tang Haoran is smiling after a series of crazy moments.

Isn’t this crazy worth all the money?

Tang Haoran suddenly felt that the two of them were not so hateful. It was simply too much to harm the community.

"I'm so damn my own flesh and blood"

The woman couldn't bear it any longer. She glared and tried to defend herself: "That's not true."

"and many more"

Tang Haoran shouted loudly and forcibly interrupted her, "Auntie, what do you mean? If this is not your biological flesh and blood, then whose child is it? Who is his father? How can you treat this uncle like this? I have lived to this age, and it is not long before I go to hell. , you actually gave him a cuckold?"

"puff"

After asking seven questions in a row, the people around me almost burst into laughter.

Lying trough,

This young man is really awesome

I have never seen such cruel and serious nonsense, but everyone still likes to hear it. When a woman is criticized like this, everyone not only has no sympathy, but actually feels good.

"Master, there's a call."

"Master, there's a call."

Just as he was talking, Tang Haoran was interrupted by the sound of a phone call.

When he lowered his head and saw that it was Chen Xiaojiao, he hung up without hesitation.