I am a funeral anchor, and the one who pays attention to the whole network is scared to death!

I am a funeral anchor, and the one who pays attention to the whole network is scared to death!Author: The Invincible Killer

Summary:

Introduction: Zhang Fan traveled through parallel worlds and became the owner of a funeral shop.

This day, he was watching short videos and came across a fighting blogger who used kicking as a gimmick.

The blogger stood arrogantly at the gate of the boxing gym, threatening to go in and knock out the gym owner's front teeth. At this time, the funeral system was activated.

"A total of 16 malicious hype kicks have been kicked out of the hall, and the chance of being violently beaten next time is 100%! The fatality rate of fighting accidents is 98%! Accurate customers, hosts can pay attention in advance!"

Zhang Fan raised his hand to pay attention: "Hello, in order to give back to new and old customers, our store has launched a one-stop SF Express funeral service. You can get a 75% discount if you book in advance. Do you need any service?"

The blogger dismissed it, and even asked for a 'Zuo Zhengdeng' to kick Zhang Fan's signboard!

Unexpectedly, at the beginning of the fight, the blogger was punched KO and died on the spot!

"Changhong Funeral One-stop Service has paid attention to you!"

Zhang Fan's comments became popular all over the Internet, and every time they saw such a reminder, all the anchors on the entire network lost their wits.

"Brother, please block me!"

"Brother, don't scare me, I haven't married a wife yet!"

"Brother, please forgive me, can I take care of your output for this quarter?"

"I lost it, this guy's watch list is full of farts?!"

?

Chapter 1 Changhong Funeral One-stop Service for Funeral Followed You

"It's been two and a half years, and I haven't had a single big order. If this continues, my store will be ruined!"

"Who says you can meet clients at night? There's not even a ghost!"

late at night.

South City.

In the dim night, on the quiet street, only a small shop named 'Changhong Funeral' flickered with candlelight.

The young man looked out the window and sighed helplessly.

His name is Zhang Fan, and he is the owner of this funeral shop.

It was already eleven o'clock in the middle of the night, and the employees had already returned home from get off work, but he still stuck to his post.

There is no other reason.

The business in the store is not good this month, and it is already the end of the month, and only three orders have been sold in total.

And the three orders that were sold were just some yellow paper with Ming coins, not even a single urn was sold!

If this continues, the funeral parlor will really close down.

In fact, the business of the funeral parlor has been bleak for more than two years since its opening.

Zhang Fan once had the idea of ​​abandoning the store and running away, but the reality is always cruel.

He was not from this world, and he inherited this funeral parlor that was close to closing down just after crossing over.

As for the original owner of this body, he is even more talented!

Before the shop was renovated, he paid the five-year rent directly, and also paid the employees three years' wages in one lump sum!

Two and a half years, two and a half years, not a single coffin was sold, and the original owner was so pissed off!

Zhang Fan took over this body. He was very resistant to this industry, but as a time traveler, he bound another gold finger that was related to funeral cashback.

There is no way, I can only take one step at a time, I can't give up my golden finger, right?

As a time traveler, can he get along without a cheat?

Of course not!

Therefore, Zhang Fan had no choice but to stay in the store temporarily and try his luck.

Anyway, the rent and employee wages have already been settled, so he has no burden.

At worst, when the rent is due, I will enter the factory to drive screws like in my previous life.

If he is lucky and comes across a big order, the system will give him a very generous reward, which is why he is still waiting for the order in the store so late.

"That's how life is...it's so late at night, I might not even dare to do business..."

Every time he thought of this, Zhang Fan felt a lot more relaxed, and simply leaned on the bench to watch the short video.

At this point every day, all kinds of ghosts and snakes will appear on the platform.

What little wild cat Xiao Daji, moon soft meow strawberry jam, all kinds of side girls emerge in endlessly.

Scratching aside is rubbish, but the ladies and sisters have really good figures and dancing postures, and men love to watch them!

Bai Huahua's video was accompanied by a few funny jokes, and Zhang Fan quickly bared his teeth.

Before I knew it, half an hour passed.

Zhang Fan swiped up habitually, and found a live broadcast with the ID of 'Free Fighting Old Zhang'.

Lao Zhang's extremely arrogant attitude and contemptuous tone immediately caught Zhang Fan's attention.

In the video.

A middle-aged man in white short-sleeves and sports shorts was standing in front of a rolling gate and shouting arrogantly.

"Brothers, this is the 17th station of Lao Zhang's national campaign, Thunder Martial Arts Hall!"

"The owner of this boxing gym is a professional boxer known as Thunder Dragon, a CBU gold medalist!"

"The opponent's strength is very strong, but don't worry, my old Zhang's powerful vajra legs were not practiced for nothing!"

"I have already sent a video to make an appointment with him. I came here by high-speed train today, but he didn't open the door."

"Obviously, he's scared!"

"Today, I will kick Thunder Dragon's front teeth and make him kneel on the ground and call Dad!"

Lao Zhang's figure is a bit bloated, not to mention no trace of training, and even an obvious beer belly.

However, this did not affect his arrogance in the slightest, he kept kicking the iron gate and yelling arrogantly.

"Thunder Dragon, come out, buddy has seen you upset for a long time!"

"Open the door! Open the door!"

The iron gate was smashed with a bang, and Zhang Fan looked stunned.

Good guy, big brother, with your figure, are you sure you have practiced?

Kicking off at eleven o'clock in the evening, I'm afraid there will be someone in the boxing gym, right?

Forget it, it is probably another hype.

Just as Zhang Fan was about to swipe away, a system notification suddenly sounded in his mind.

"Kick the hall 16 times, the chance of being beaten up next time is 100%, and the fatality rate of fighting accidents is 98%. Accurate users, the host can pay attention."

Ok?

Zhang Fan was stunned for a moment.

Accurate customers?

Can the system help you select customers now?

There is no business in the funeral parlor, and the system is starting to panic. This is because they are afraid that the world will not be chaotic...

The meaning of the system is also very clear.

This blogger named Lao Zhang doesn't have real kung fu, but he kicks the gym maliciously. This time, he will be beaten [-]% of the time.

And the probability of being beaten to death on the spot is as high as 98%!

Thinking of this, an idea popped up in Zhang Fan's mind involuntarily:

This blogger named Lao Zhang may be beaten to death!

98% probability, the remaining two points can be ignored, right?

That's right, once the boxing gym is successful, the boxing gym can hardly survive.

The prestige of the coach is gone, who is willing to learn from the students?

Cutting off people's fortunes is like killing their parents, and besides, you come here at night.

At this point, maybe people go to bed early, if they get a little angry, it would be strange if they didn't strike hard!

The most important thing is that this old Zhang doesn't seem to be very good at fighting, but his attitude is extremely arrogant.

"This……"

After thinking about it, Zhang Fan simply clicked into Lao Zhang's personal homepage.

The introduction is clean and to the point:

[Old Zhang, contemporary Qiao Feng, playing around the world, specializing in all kinds of dissatisfaction! 】

Dozens of videos, none of the teaching and daily routine, all are kicking challenges!

Moreover, the attitude of each video is very arrogant!

It can be seen that kicking the hall to death is his way of gaining traffic.

Although many people in the comment area said that he was hype, many people still admire Lao Zhang's courage.

After a brief look, Zhang Fan returned to the live broadcast room.

It may be because Thunder Dragon is well-known in the fighting world, the discussion on the barrage is very intense at this time:

[Laughing to death, I kicked Lei Ge here, and I punched you into a vegetative state! 】

[Old Zhang still has some strength, everyone will wait and see! 】

[I sent a private message to Lei Ge. He usually sleeps in the boxing gym, and the door will probably open soon! 】

【Dry!This kid Lei Long is too arrogant, Lao Zhang, you can tell him the truth for me! 】

【…】

From the discussion among the audience, Zhang Fan learned that Thunder Dragon is a genuine boxer. Out of good intentions, Zhang Fan quickly sent out a bullet screen:

[Brother, be careful of being punched to death by someone... Hello, our store has launched a special funeral service for the anniversary, and you can enjoy [-]% off if you book in advance. Do you need to know more? 】

After posting the barrage, Zhang Fan clicked Follow again.

At the same time, a message popped up from Lao Zhang's background.

"Changhong's one-stop service for funerals and funerals paid attention to you!"

Chapter 2 200% mortality rate, two lives are not enough to fight

After clicking Follow, Zhang Fan was ready to paddle away.

There are more than 3000 people in the live broadcast room, and I thought my barrage would be drowned in the crowd.

Unexpectedly, Fighting Lao Zhang actually noticed Zhang Fan's barrage, and gave a reply on the spot.

"Changhong's funeral is a one-stop process, you little black fan, you don't even have a fan sign, dare to curse me to death?"

"Believe it or not, Zuo Zhengdeng kicked your signboard in half?"

"It's really funny. My business has been done in my live broadcast room, and the popularity doesn't matter where it is. I think you should keep it for yourself!"

Lao Zhang had an arrogant attitude and swear words, he didn't take Zhang Fan seriously at all.

It is precisely because of Zhang Fan's unique screen name that many water friends in the live broadcast room @ up.

[@长红婚室…, hahaha, you know how to do business! 】

【Are funeral parlors taking the initiative to find clients these days? 】

[Good guy, [-]% off for advance booking, what a great discount. 】