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Chapter 25 Emotional Quotient: Emotions (3)
Lao Tzu, a sage in ancient China, once said a passage, to the effect that: "Thirty spokes are gathered into the holes in a hub. Only when the hub is hollow, can the car function. Mix clay to make a vessel, and Only when the hollow part of the utensil is found, can the function of the utensil be used. When the doors and windows are excavated to build a house, only the hollow part inside the walls of the door and window can have the function of the house.” This sentence tells us very directly, don’t regard zeroing as It is the "nothing" that has nothing, and it should be a mentality of doing things that puts down all burdens, moves forward lightly, and is proactive.

When you feel that the work is trivial and the mood is boring, you can "reset" your mood, let go of distracting thoughts, and be naturally full of emotions.When there are many and complicated things, we can also reduce the pressure to zero, think carefully, and carry out the work in stages according to the priorities.When the goal is difficult to achieve, we reset the big goal to zero, focus on the small goal in front of us, complete one thing, reset to zero once, quickly enter a new state, and then do another thing with the mentality we just started.

With this approach, you don't feel like tasks are cumbersome, and you don't feel like what you need to accomplish is out of reach.

effective use of freedom

Once upon a time there were two monks who lived in temples on two adjacent mountains.There is a river between the two mountains, and the two monks will go down the mountain to fetch water from the river at the same time every day.Over time, the two became good friends.While carrying water, the two chatted a few words, each feeling very interesting.Five years later, suddenly one day the monk on the left mountain did not come down to carry water, and the monk on the right mountain thought: "He probably overslept." So he didn't pay much attention.The next day, the monk on the left still did not go down the mountain.

This situation lasted for a week, and the monk on the mountain on the right thought: "He may be sick, I'll go and see him." When he came to the mountain on the left, he couldn't help being surprised: his friend had a red face and was doing Tai Chi in front of the temple. .He was very puzzled: "You haven't gone down the mountain to carry water for a week, don't you need to drink water?" The friend didn't answer immediately, but led him to the backyard of the temple, pointed to a well and said, "In the past five years, I have Every day after I finish my homework, I will find time to dig this well. Sometimes I am busy, but I will persist, and I can dig as much as I can. Now, I have finally dug out the water, and I don’t have to go down the mountain to carry water. I can have more It's time to practice my favorite Tai Chi."

It has to be said that the monk who dug the well is a person with high emotional intelligence, because he knows how to use freedom effectively, and he can do the most things in a limited time.For example, the company sends you to return a visit to a client. During this so-called "free" time, what else did you do besides return visits to the client?

Where the time is, there is the achievement.Time is a constant, but it is a variable for hardworking people. People who use minutes to count time have 59 times more time than those who use hours to count.We all know that time is limited, life is limited, experience and resources are limited.If we don't use limited things at one point, how can we break out and succeed?

It is unrealistic for one person to gain a huge competitive advantage all at once.If you want to do this, you must make full use of your own time and do a little more than your opponent every day. After a long time, you will naturally form a huge advantage.This advantage is the key to us surpassing others.

In fact, many well-known theories can testify to my point of view.The famous investment expert John Templeton discovered the "law of one more ounce" through a lot of observation and research.He found that middling achievers did almost as much work as high achievers, and that the difference in effort was actually small, but the high achievers put in "an ounce" more, and the final achievement But there is a world of difference.

In theory, we are not obliged to do things outside of our duty, but we can choose to do it voluntarily.This is not only a valuable quality, but also the key to self-improvement, self-training, and self-success.

When Carlo Downis first worked, his position was very low and his salary was not high.But not long after, he became the president of a company under this group company.

The secret to Downis' rapid ascension was his effective use of his freedom to try to do a little more than others.When he first came to work in the company, Downis noticed that after get off work every day, everyone went home, but the boss Durant would still stay in the office and continue to work until late.So he decided to stay in the office after get off work even though no one asked him to.He thinks he should stay, because he can provide some help when Durant needs it.

When Durant worked overtime, he often needed to find documents or print materials.Originally, Durant did all these tasks by himself.Soon, he found that Downis was waiting for his call at any time.Gradually, he developed the habit of calling Downis.Because Downis voluntarily stayed in the office, Mr. Durant could see him at any time and was sincerely ready to serve him.Downis didn't get paid anything, but he earned himself an opportunity and eventually a promotion.

I think everyone wants to use freedom effectively, but doesn't know how to do it.In fact, the key to using your freedom effectively is to concentrate your free time and focus on doing something that will help you improve yourself.Therefore, it is necessary for you to take stock, what time do you have to focus on one thing, one field, one goal?For example, get up at 06:30 every morning to practice spoken English, or spend 10 minutes a day to practice your hobby-calligraphy.In short, if you don't have a fixed time every day to prepare for your ideals or hobbies, it means that you will not make full use of your freedom, and your achievements will not be there.

In fact, half an hour a day can develop a specialty.For example, if you like the harmonica, spend 10 minutes a day to practice it. After a month, you will know it better than your classmates.That's the small achievement of half an hour a day.

In terms of the freedom of effective use, in addition to emphasizing the concentration of time, we must also pay special attention to the steps of doing things.Before they deal with a matter, they will first think about how many steps should be divided into, and how each step can be broken down. Through the decomposition of steps, they screen out the most important steps.Such as waiting time for the bus, waiting time for friends, and other similar small periods of time, these times will provide them with one or several steps towards some large goal.

Live in the moment, don't be a perfectionist

I personally like a passage from Zhuangzi very much: "Don't forget the beginning, don't seek the end, enjoy it when you receive it, and forget it again. This is what it means not to donate the way with your heart, and not to help the sky with others. This is what is called a real person. "It means, don't forget where you came from, don't look for where you want to go, and be happy no matter what you encounter, forgetting life and death is like returning to your own nature, which is called not using your mind to damage the Dao , and do not use human factors to help nature.Those who can do this are "real people".

The "real people" here are actually people with high EQ and IQ.People with high emotional intelligence always focus on the present, rather than dwelling on the past.They know that dwelling on the past destroys their true selves, and that by moving forward and taking action, they can have a truly meaningful life.

Living in the moment means that you should cherish what you are doing, where you stay, and the people around you, and put your focus on these people, things, and things, and fully accept, communicate, try, Get in and experience it all.It's a way of life that you put your heart and soul into.When you live in the present moment, when you are not tied down by the past, and when there is no future to pull you forward, all your energy is concentrated in the present time, and life thus produces a strong expansion force.

However, those with low emotional intelligence cannot do this. They will always have such troubles and complaints, because they always focus on the past or the future, while ignoring or ignoring what they can really grasp is the present.Those with high emotional intelligence are also troubled by the past and the future, but they know how to sort out their emotions, and when the past or the future troubles them, they can quickly withdraw.Therefore, they are always so calm.Enjoy happiness when happiness comes, face pain when pain comes, neither avoid nor escape.

Living in the moment means you have to throw off the baggage of perfectionism and be happy with the status quo.If you're a perfectionist, watch your behavior carefully and you'll notice that you're often dealing with small details.

For example, when writing an article, a perfectionist may spend an hour or more looking for the best matching photos that will accurately express the purpose of the article.They even spend hours taking care of blogs and forums, making their space polished and perfect.Although doing so will bring perfect results, it also shows that you are not using your time well.According to the 80/20 principle, 80% of the results come from 20% of the time.This principle requires us to put the most important things in 20% of the time and finish them quickly.Only in this way can it be more efficient.

Going back to the issue of matching pictures to articles, it is indeed gratifying to have a perfect picture for each blog, but the time spent on picking pictures prevents us from doing more valuable work.

Know that the most valuable things are the most worth doing.Therefore, instead of being a perfectionist, you must focus on the overall situation, see what is more important, and then redistribute your energy according to the importance.

To be a person who lives in the moment, we must learn not to be affected by small things.Many times we are swayed by a hurtful remark, or held back by a small setback.It is normal to have such emotions. People with low EQ will be seriously disturbed by these emotions, lose the focus of life, and feel overwhelmed.They are angry, impatient, complaining, and become slaves to their emotions.And people with high emotional intelligence know that the little things don't matter in the long run.

They will try to ask themselves: "Will I care about this in one year? In three years, in five years?" The answer is no.In doing so, they decide that these things are not worth mentioning, and what they really need to do is to focus on those things that are very important.

(End of this chapter)