A deep love: Thousands of stars are not as good as you

A sad mood spread infinitely, eroding my heart bit by bit.

An Jinnian, do you know that because of you, I have already become a lonely soul without a master, and I can't find a port to dock in the vast sky.

Because of you, I lost my original intention.

Because of you, I fell in love with the city of Jiangzhou.

Because of you, for the rest of my life, I don't want to love anyone else...

However, so many are because of you...but you still don't understand my intentions.

You know, without An Jinnian, Lin Xi is nothing.

"Lin Xi, I..." An Jinnian's expression moved slightly, he stared fixedly at me, and fell silent for a while.After a while, I heard him speak slowly, "Don't force me, okay?"

It seems to be an intentional request, but it is actually an unintentional request.In an instant, I was hit back again and again.

Even now, he still chooses to push it away.

However, how can I agree.An Jinnian, after so many years of expectation and waiting, you know how I survived.

The person who can only fall asleep peacefully by chanting your name in the middle of the night, the person who will stand there waiting for you no matter how much you hurt him, how can you be willing to hurt him so much.

I love you so much, why are you willing to abandon me like this, time and time again.

"I'm forcing you, An Jinnian, how dare you say I'm forcing you." The uncontrollable emotions surged out like a rough sea wave, drowning the last sliver of rationality in my mind in an instant. "An Jinnian, it's been five years since you left. I'm like a fool, sticking to your An Jinnian name and living my life. I always think that maybe one day you will come back and give me an answer But the truth! You just run away and hide, you can't wait to push me far away, you can't wait to make me fall in love with other men..."

The words blurted out one sentence at a time, I don't know if it hurt An Jinnian's heart.But these words that I uttered casually actually hurt myself.

I was angry and growling in my heart, always wanting to stab the memory of both of us at the same time in the cruelest way.

Look, An Jinnian, this is how we get along now.

Love but can't, hate but not resentment, shallow and deep love.

"Lin Xi, don't go too far, just be quiet...be quiet..." Xu Yan laughed and pulled me to her side, and whispered in my ear, "Grandma, just vent your temper or whatever." Don't scare people away..."

"Xu Yan, shut up..." I roared and glared at Xu Yan, not aware of my strangeness at all.

Heart, already numb from pain, lost consciousness.

Xu Yan closed her mouth resentfully, and looked at me aggrieved, very pitifully.

Unexpectedly, my heart is so hard now that it can be described as a heart of stone. Therefore, in the face of Xu Yan's flattery, I consciously ignore it.

An Jinnian's face became more and more ugly under the pressure of my words. He had a pale face, as if he had lost all expression, but just looked at me dullly, motionless.

His watery eyes were like an ancient well, deep and bottomless.

That face full of pain seemed to be more desperate than me, and I was heartbroken.

We, looking at each other two by two, are struggling and wandering in our respective worlds.Hesitating whether to make a final decision.

"Lin Xi, take it easy, Jin Nian..." Seeing that the situation was not right, Mu Yuan also stood up and became a peacemaker.

It's just that he was only halfway through his words when he was interrupted by An Jinnian's indifferent voice, "Mu Yuan, take care of what you should do..."

"Oh! Got it." Mu Yuan choked on An Jinnian's words and immediately stopped talking.

"Lin Xi, let's talk..." After the dead silence, An Jinnian finally opened his mouth, but his voice was very low, as if he was weak and terminally ill. I also lost my mind.

I made an ugly smile and sneered, "Speak, I'll listen..."

The originally resentful mood gradually receded after Xu Yan and Mu Yuan repeatedly disturbed her.

Although most of his mind is awake, the remaining anger is still there.

"Let's find a quiet place to talk." He looked up and looked around, then said.

"If you have anything to say, just say it here, and I'll just listen to it." With Xu Yan as the trump card to control the scene, how could I be so stupid as to let An Jinnian order, and then make the scene chaotic to the point of no return.

The matter has come to this point, and what needs to be said has been clarified. So, is it really time for An Jinnian and I to have a result?

"You... really want to say it here?" he asked.

I nodded, "Well, let's talk."

"How about we go first?" Xu Yan's untimely voice appeared again in the conversation between me and An Jinnian.

She looked at Yu Sheng, then at Mu Yuan, and then looked at me hesitantly, as if asking for my permission.

Needless to say, I have already guessed seven or eight points of Xu Yan's wishful thinking.She just wants me to use this situation to turn the tide.

After all, in her opinion, An Jinnian and I are so right.

"By the way, I remembered that I have something to do, so I'll take a step first." Under Xu Yan's prompt, Mu Yuan slapped himself on the forehead heavily, as if thinking, and strode away muttering to himself.

"Hey! Yu Sheng, when I came here just now, I ran into an acquaintance, why don't you accompany me to see..." Xu Yan said her clumsy excuses without blushing, and pulled her with a smile. Yu Sheng left.

In the empty and narrow corner, only An Jinnian and I were left, two lonely figures standing upright.

"Everyone is gone, tell me."

This is a remote and unobtrusive corner, and fortunately, no one came to disturb it.

An Jinnian approached me bit by bit with empty steps.The small sofa seemed crowded because of his approach.

He stopped in his tracks and looked at me seriously, his eyes showed deep affection.Slowly drawing out the sadness hidden in his heart, he pulled me and said, "Lin Xi, I'm sorry..."

The endless stream of sorry, these three words again, are harsh and heart-piercing.

"Apart from being sorry, don't you have anything else to say?" My heart gradually cooled down, and when I looked at An Jinnian, tears were already in my eyes.

"I..." His throat rolled, his mouth opened for a while, but he didn't say a word.

"It's still between us, I'm sorry." I closed my eyes sadly, and let the tears crawl all over my face again.

Crying seems to be the only way I can hide my heartache at present.At least, while weeping bitterly, my heart will feel much better.

I raised my hand to caress his pale and cool face, my heart ached.

I, who had lost my language organization, just looked at him like this, fascinated.

The face is still the one I am familiar with, and I can't help but be infatuated with it.It's just that the increasingly pointed chin and prominent cheekbones all reflect his extreme thinness in another way.

The person is still the same person, but the heart, I don't know if it has changed color.

I remember Yu Sheng once asked me why I couldn't let go of An Jinnian for so many years.

The answer I gave at the beginning was, maybe everything just happened just right.

Actually otherwise, I will never forget how I saw An Jinnian for the first time.

He is like a ray of light, lighting up my past, waking up my lifelong dream, and becoming the most important person in my heart...

But those, in the end, became the reason for him to leave me.

If possible, I would rather, that summer, that afternoon, that scene, that place, we never met.

That way, I don't have to love him deeply for many years and still be reluctant to let go.

"An Jinnian, I know you have something to hide from me, and I also know that what you want to hide is very important. But you shouldn't bet on my happiness to make arrangements for me. You must know that it is my own Road, I have the right to choose by myself. You have no right to decide..." I lowered my voice very low, tried my best to hold back my temper, and said slowly. "You can choose not to love me, but how can you stop me from loving you..."

"Lin Xi, I'm sorry..." An Jinnian lowered his head and lowered his eyebrows.

Undoubtedly, sorry again.

As if he was determined to draw a clear line with me, he repeated the three short words of sorry again and again.

Sure enough, if you give a sweet date, you have to give a bitter fruit. This is his An Jinnian style.

I withdrew my hand, my voice trembling, "I'll just ask you, do you still love me or not?"

With an aggressive tone, he went straight to An Jinnian's face.Maybe this night, really, really will be our finale.

Whether it's a tragedy or a comedy, it's just in An Jinnian's mind.

I was suddenly a little scared to face the outcome, a question I'd been avoiding since our reunion years later.Even though I knew that An Jinnian had reasons, even if I knew he had no other choice, I still complained.

These years of waiting have already smoothed my edge, and made the arrogant and arrogant me of the past hide in the infinite darkness and become a timid and cowardly person.

In a daze, I seemed to see An Jinnian who was standing downstairs in the girls' dormitory, holding a bunch of red and white baby's breath, confessing to me.

He stood in the bustling crowd, staring affectionately at me who was slowly approaching him, holding the baby's breath in front of me with both hands, panicking like a child who has done something wrong, but still grinning foolishly Say "Lin Xi, be my girlfriend."

That was the most beautiful scene in my life, because the person I love finally walked towards me across the sea of ​​people and became the indispensable person in my life.

I've always felt that An Jinnian and I have been inseparable from the moment we met.

I used to be a person who didn't believe in fate, but since the first chance encounter, I have believed in everything.

Even now, I still believe in it.

"An Jinnian, do you know? Before I met you, I never believed in love at first sight. But after I met you, I believed it. Back then you left without reason and left me mercilessly, but..." I said As he spoke, he was filled with his own sadness, his throat seemed to be stuck by something, and he was so choked that he couldn't speak a word anymore.