As a salted fish, I was forced to become the teacher of all ages

As a salted fish, I was forced to become the teacher of all ages Author: This old man has a bad temper

Book introduction:

People gave me a series of titles: Dazhao Zhuzhu, the mentor and eldest brother of His Royal Highness, the prime minister behind the Guangxing Dynasty, the founder of modern military and science, the fig leaf of Dazhao poetry circle, the founder of modern schools, the ancestor of modern medicine Master, the patron saint of Zhao Haijiang, the controller of the New World, the eternal teacher who liberates thoughts, and: the big black hand behind the court, the overthrower of the suzerainty system, the gravedigger of the imperial examination system, the thorn in the eyes of the gentry group, Qingliu The nightmare of a scientific official, the villain who caused trouble in Europe, the poisonous snake kneeling and licking by the shogunate...

But... I just want to be a salted fish from the beginning to the end!

The first crowing oriole tries a new voice

1. Master, you are miserable

On the official road to the capital, two people walked one behind the other.

Walking behind was a little girl, and she babbled as she walked: "Master, after returning to Beijing, the master may beat you again, you...don't bet anymore."

Walking in front was a young man. Hearing what the little girl said, he didn't say a word, but walked forward with a depressed expression on his face.

Seeing that he didn't speak, the little girl babbled again: "The master always said that you will learn a lot from a pit, so why don't you grow up? The young master didn't get out of bed for three months after selling his wife's jewelry and dowry. Now... oh !"

"Qin'er, don't make any noise..." The boy replied feebly, and the distressed look on his face became more intense.

This young man is called Hua Manlou, 16 years old, the only son of Huai'an uncle Hua Boyuan.Although the name is quite poetic, but just looking at his attire, it can be seen that he is an out-and-out dude and a bad gambler.

As the honorable son of the rice worm in the Great Zhao Empire, being a playboy is the basic operation, so why not be fond of gambling?In Hua Manlou's own words: "I will receive the emperor's grace for the rest of my life. If I don't force women to oppress Liangshan, then goodness is like water. Who is in the way of gambling?"

But the problem is...

This flower is full of flowers, but that flower is full of buildings. When he woke up, he found himself in a rushing river, and traveled to this completely strange world—oh, it can’t be said to be completely strange. As far as he remembers, at least he still knows his identity, knows that he was pushed into the river by his creditors, and knows that he will definitely be beaten when he returns home.

Even if he was seriously ill after being rescued from the water, but now that he is 'well', Uncle Huai'an will definitely destroy his relatives and give him a ruthless meal.

"What the hell I endured was a completely innocent disaster...Why should I be beaten for you after you played around and passed away?" Hua Manlou raised his head, looking at the sky speechlessly.

Uncle Huai'an is a qualified father. Like all qualified parents in the world, he has a simple desire to hope that his son will become a success.Although Huamanlou would naturally inherit his title after he kicked his legs, but as a father, he was really afraid that Huamanlou would lose his family and lose his title, and the Hua family would sink.

This time Huamanlou was sent to Tongzhou to train him, so that he could at least know how difficult it is for the Wuxun family now. He entered the casino, and then...

In short, in order to repay the debts of the nine out and thirteen returns for him, the old housekeeper had to sell dozens of acres of land.These days, cubs who sell their father's land will be cast aside. After all, in the feudal era based on agriculture, there is everything if there is land, so in some cases, selling land may even be considered unfilial.

The country ruled the world with benevolence and filial piety. If the hat of unfilial piety is put on, it will not only be poked in the back by others, but will also greatly affect the official career—if one is an official career.

But Hua Manlou was not interested in thinking about it for the time being, and at this moment his mind was in a mess.

Not only did he not know how to deal with the sudden crossing, he also didn't know how to deal with his own cheap father--parents in the feudal era regarded "a filial son under the stick" as the golden rule of family education, especially the Wu Xun family. , so Huamanlou will naturally receive a physical education that the people of the capital love to see.

It was in this kind of entanglement that the two servants of Huamanlou went to Beijing.

Walking through the city gates and corridors of more than ten feet, the prosperity and vicissitudes of the ancient city, mixed with all kinds of hustle and bustle, rushed to the face.The capital of Dazhao has a long history and a long history. After dozens of emperors in three dynasties, it is indeed the largest city in the world.

But Hua Manlou didn't want to visit this familiar yet unfamiliar city, just because Qin'er pierced her heart at the right time: "Master, I still have some money here, go buy some medicine for gold sores, I'll help you with the medicine if you get beaten up. "

Hua Manlou smiled wryly: "Thank you..."

I didn't dare to tell Uncle Huai'an after I owed a bad bet last time, that I stole Mrs. Huai'an's jewelry as a repayment of the debt, but those jewelry were ordered by Mrs. Huai'an several times before her death to be left to his future daughter-in-law—— Jewelry these days is not like Huamanlou's previous life, where the jewelry is changed every year. Many things are handed down from generation to generation, and there are even antiques that have gone through hundreds of years. It can be said...

A lot of money?

In short, for this reason, Uncle Huai'an hung up his predecessor and was beaten half to death. He lay on the bed for a full three months before he could get up, and this time the incident was bigger than the last time, so Hua Manlou felt that this time almost a leg would be broken. What, as for which leg it is, it depends on Uncle Huai'an's mood...

It's a blessing or a curse, it's a disaster that can't be avoided, no matter how unhappy she is, she must go home today, so Hua Manlou followed Qin'er's suggestion and Qi Qiran bought the golden sore medicine and walked home.

The Huai'an uncle's mansion is located in Dongcheng. This mansion was given to the ancestors of the Hua family by the ancestors after the ancestors of the Hua family raised troops to conquer the world in the past. This place is familiar but unfamiliar to Huamanlou. .

The familiar stone lion, the familiar vermilion copper nailed gate, the familiar concierge Hua Er, and the familiar father standing at the gate opened his mouth and shouted: "Nizi! You have done a good job!"

People these days believe in teaching their sons to teach their wives behind their backs, so it is not uncommon for Uncle Huai'an to block the door and scold his son, but the neighbors in the neighborhood poked their heads and looked at it, and then they all pointed and poked at the absurdity of Huamanlou. , there are actually some people with heavy complexions and sighing words such as "prodigal son", "unfilial son", "my son don't learn from him" to stimulate Uncle Huai'an. The typical person watching the excitement is not afraid of big things, as if looking forward to Uncle Huai'an Suddenly he took a Qinglong Yanyue knife and chopped Huamanlou under his horse with one stroke, which was very disturbing.

Hua Manlou was terrified at the time: "It's not me, I don't, don't come here..."

This was a subconscious clarification, after all, Hua Manlou himself did not gamble or sell land.But when Uncle Huai'an heard this, he took a deep look at Hua Manlou, then sighed dejectedly, turned around and walked in the door gloomily.

Hua Manlou was a little confused: Is this going home to beat him up, or did he really go get a knife?

Qin'er pushed Huamanlou: "Master, go back first."

After finishing speaking, she stared fiercely at the melon-eating crowd, put her hips on her hips and shouted angrily: "What are you looking at, you know how to gossip all day when you have nothing to do, and you don't accumulate virtue with your mouth. Sooner or later, you will all be punished!"

Hua Manlou suddenly thanked Qin'er very much. After all, although she was very kind, the little girl obviously knew that her family's ugliness should not be exposed...

The only problem is that Qin'er is only 12 years old. Even though she put on a fierce look, her deterrent effect is still not very good. The neighbors didn't take her seriously at all, and some people laughed instead.

Seeing this, Hua Manlou didn't wait for the angry Qin'er to continue to scold her, and dragged her into the mansion.

Until he returned to his own yard, Father Cheap didn't jump out by copying the rattan or other family law.Qin'er did not know why she wanted to inquire about it, and then ran back and told Hua Manlou: "Sister Xiaotao said, the master entered the study, and he must have waited to finish his official duties before beating the young master. Young master, you are miserable."

Huamanlou has black lines all over his head: What is this?What about CDs?

It's just that Qin'er was wrong this time: Hua Manlou waited in fear until midnight, until he fell asleep from sleepiness, and Uncle Huai'an didn't come to beat him.

2. Qin'er is right, I'm done...

Early the next morning.

"That... Dad..." Hua Manlou woke up and it was already daylight. After turning over, he found someone sitting in the small hall outside, and he was shocked immediately.

Sitting at the small table in the outer hall was Uncle Huai'an. I don't know when he came in, but the three empty wine jars on the table proved that this cheap father had been here for a long time. Are you going to beat someone up...

Could it be that beating is useless, so I'm too lazy to beat him?

Hua Manlou's heart was pounding, he quickly got up and walked to Uncle Huai'an, and said weakly: "Father... less... drink less..."

Hua Manlou is still clear about the fact that he has to recognize this cheap father after inheriting the identity of his predecessor.So even though he knew that Uncle Huai'an might beat him up, Hua Manlou still had to bear it, after all...

Not to mention that the matter of soul wearing is easy to be regarded as the upper body of a ghost. Disobedience to parents these days is a big unfilial, and the slightest is to abandon the market, and the most serious is to be late. Local beheading is quite frightening to the common people.

Hua Manlou naturally knew this, so at this time he could only be obedient, hoping that he would be a little lighter when he was beaten later.

Uncle Huai'an raised his head and glanced blankly at Huamanlou, before saying after a long time: "Sit down, I have something to say for my father."

When Hua Manlou heard this, she knew that she had escaped a catastrophe, so she quickly continued to play nicely: "If you have something to say, just say it, and I will stand and listen."

Uncle Huai'an, who had been drinking for half a night and was a little confused, didn't realize that his son seemed to be acting differently from before. He filled a glass of wine and drank it all in one gulp before saying, "My Hua family has received the emperor's favor, and the title passed down from my ancestors, To you, this is the seventh generation."

"The meritorious service is obtained immediately. In order to maintain this meritorious service, the Hua family has served in the army for generations. As a father, so did your grandfather and great-grandfather." Uncle Huai'an continued in a low tone: "Several generations have passed it down to you. The inheritance cannot be broken. The so-called fault of the son not teaching the father, the father did not teach you well... oh..."

It can be seen that Uncle Huai'an was a little drunk, he rambled on for a while without prioritizing or logic, and then reviewed the heroic grandeur of his ancestors jumping horses and whips, and finally threw a reality to Huamanlou: "I want to do it for my father." Alright, even if I let go of this old face, I will find you an errand in the army in two days, and then I will tell you about relatives, if you can settle down on this, your ancestor's foundation will not be lost..."

Huamanlou was stunned when he climbed the stairs.

I don't know what this cheap old man figured out last night. It's nothing more than 'the military can train people', 'what can't be taught at home, let the society teach', 'a man's heart is settled after he gets married', etc. , but neither joining the army nor getting married is a good thing for Huamanlou - the former is fatal, the latter...

The latter may be more fatal.

Let’s talk about joining the army first. The Great Zhao has been a country for 30 years. There are barbarians in the north and barbarians in the south. There are countless Japanese pirates on the sea.But this is the era of cold weapons. How many people fought in ancient times?When you go to the battlefield, your life is not your own. Maybe you will die in the first wave of charge. Is this still playing a snake?

Of course, there is a high probability that Uncle Huai'an will not send his only son to the frontier army, but once he joins the army these days, he might be dragged out to fight a war against a rebellion and a bandit, just in case he gets a bad cold Well, these days there is nowhere to go for treatment, maybe it will be the end of dying in a horse leather shroud.

As for getting married, it is even more important.

The main reason is that a man from Zhao can only join the army when he is fifteen, but he can only get married when he is sixteen, which shows that women are more terrifying than enemies... Cough, the main reason is that Hua Manlou thinks it is cheap. The key to getting him married as soon as possible is presumably to have a grandson to inherit the family business.

And as for Huamanlou himself, he can die wherever he wants after the mating is done, and he is already useless anyway.

But the problem is, Huamanlou's reputation as a rotten gambler has long been stinking all over the capital. Who in a serious family would let their daughter marry such a prodigal?Will you eat dirt with him for the rest of your life?Then if Uncle Huai'an can't find a good one and finds him a beautiful woman with crooked nose and slanted eyes, do you want to live the rest of your life?

But these days, they really don’t pay attention to free love. Huamanlou has to listen to the orders of the parents and the words of the matchmaker.

Huamanlou was frightened and wanted to refuse, but Huai'an Bo came here to directly inform rather than discuss, and seeing the bleak expression of this old father who was worried about the family business, Huamanlou didn't say no. Say it out—how can he say that he is influenced by quality education, and he is by no means a fish that slipped through the net. How could he be as ignorant as his predecessor?

So it wasn't until Uncle Huai'an wandered out the door that Hua Manlou realized that things were going to get worse: "Ma Gejier, Qin'er was right, I'm done..."

It’s so easy to travel to the feudal era, and he is an iron-clad son of an earl. Originally, Hua Manlou wanted to survive the beatings of his cheap father and enjoy it... Well, let’s understand and criticize the decadent and depraved life of the feudal nobles. But after receiving such bad news after a good day, he couldn't help crying.

Isn't he good as a salted fish?Why do you have to join the army this year!And why do you have to get married at this age!

The only thing to be thankful for is that I am a feudal aristocrat. If my wife doesn’t like it, I can find several concubines—don’t think that everyone can have three wives and four concubines. A concubine is unthinkable, unless she is over forty and has no descendants...

But having said that, what if the cheap father finds a big and round Hedong lion roar, and throws all the concubines into the well while he is not paying attention?

So all in all, whether joining the army or getting married is quite dangerous, so Hua Manlou cheered up and planned to save himself.

First of all, it is impossible for the prodigal son to play back, because the predecessor has already played this game badly.

Speaking of his predecessor, he really didn’t have much wisdom, but he was quite clever. Every time he was beaten, he admitted his mistakes faster than anyone else. Uncle Huai’an believed in the truth of how he cried and changed his past mistakes several times. I just don’t believe it—haven’t you seen that Uncle Huai An just gave up treatment?

Secondly, you can’t play if you pretend to be sick and don’t go to work. I have played this thing at least six times before, and every time I say that I can’t see the wind or the light. This symptom sounds like rabies...

At last……

There was no end, Hua Manlou was shocked to find that his predecessor had completely blocked his way.

If you want to make your cheap father change his opinion of you before the dust is settled, then you have to do something ruthless, such as writing a poem that will last forever to make your father look good-Hua Man Lou has accepted the quality As for the one who educates and beats people, he has memorized countless Tang poems and Song poems in order to score more points in the exam.

However, an ignorant gambler and rotten dude suddenly wrote an excellent verse, and guessed that what he was facing was definitely not praise, but a group of religious people who were carrying mahogany swords, Zen sticks and bowls Well, this group of guys has no lower limit when it comes to exorcising evil spirits. There are those who bush ashes, and some who set themselves on fire, and each one is more ruthless than the other.

So for now...

"I don't know if it's good to pretend to be crazy?" Hua Manlou looked at the sky with blank eyes.

3. Abba aba

Speaking of pretending to be crazy, there was a very famous guy in Huamanlou's previous life who pretended to be crazy.

It is said that he yelled in the street, robbed people of food and drink, babbled nonsense, slept in the dirt all day long, and yelled cold while sitting by the stove in June, regardless of his own image.

This guy is called Zhu Di, and not long after he pretended to be crazy, he raised his troops and snatched away his nephew's country, and he was known as Yan Wang Jingnan in history.

Of course, there is no such passage in "Records of Emperor Taizong of Ming Dynasty", so whether this matter was conceived by someone or Zhu Di had someone change the daily life note history is untestable, but according to the irritable character of this master, I guess Even if there is a living man, he would not dare to write about it...

In short, Hua Manlou felt that he might really be able to pretend to be crazy and escape this incident. After the madness recovered, the prodigal son suddenly turned into a good boy, or he just became a few times taller, learned a lot of money, guess who? You can't even pick out the thorns... right?

But then he realized: Suddenly becoming a lunatic... Isn't it a little pompous?At least wait for an opportunity, right?And no matter what era it is, pretending to be crazy is more dangerous for one's own safety. In the previous life, he would be sent to a lunatic asylum and locked up. In this world, a group of old men with white beard and hair and misty expressions will probably prick his head with such a long needle. If it breaks, then ...

Then for the rest of my life, I guess I will be cared for with the eyes of people who look mentally retarded, which is even worse.

"How about...wait for a few days to see the situation? Well, look at the situation, be honest for a few days, and then say that I was scared by getting married...well, scared by being enlisted in the army? Or was it? Dad was scared, so he went crazy?" Hua Manlou was overwhelmed: "And what school should I go to pretend to be crazy? Abba, aba?"

But Huamanlou, who had an extremely strong desire to survive, did not expect that in the next two days, Uncle Huai'an left early and returned late, and did not come to talk to Huamanlou, nor did he mention joining the army or getting married.

Huamanlou is also very happy about this. Although he is restricted and cannot go out, it does not prevent him from reading in the study and learning about this familiar and unfamiliar world.

In the past, after the predecessor was beaten, most of them would hide in the study and be honest for a few days, so the servants would not think that their young master had become dull-spoken and quick-witted. Know what the world is like.

In her previous life, Huamanlou's historical achievements were not outstanding, but she was a liberal arts student at least, and she was a thief with the back of 'Xia Shang, Western Zhou, and Eastern Zhou divided into two halves'.Therefore, when Hua Manlou heard that Great Zhao was a unified country, he knew that he was in a seemingly parallel world—there was no unified Zhao country in his previous life.

In terms of history books, maps, and some humanities books, the history of the world began to deviate from the Wei and Jin Dynasties, and the era corresponding to the current Great Zhao is almost the same as the Ming Dynasty in the previous life.

What's more interesting is that Da Zhao's system is also similar to that of the Ming Dynasty, including the notorious Jinyiwei and Dongchang, but the Jinyiwei here is called Xuanwuwei, so it seems...

Zhu Yuanzhang passed through here?Or the Great Zhao Gaozu was passed through by people from the Ming Dynasty?

Of course, there are still many differences in details. For example, without the torment of Cheng and Zhu Neo-Confucianism, which preserves the principles of nature and destroys human desires, the folk customs these days are quite similar to those of the Tang Dynasty, with a little more openness.

All in all, Hua Manlou compared these differences, and thought about how he could reasonably escape Daddy Cheap's murderous hands, and it took three days like this.

……

Palace, Hall of Mental Cultivation.

Da Zhao is now in power for the seventh generation, with the reign name Guangxing.Emperor Guangxing has been on the throne for 11 years, and he can be called a diligent monarch. Some people have declared that this dynasty is Guangxing Zhongxing.

Emperor Guangxing flipped through the memorial book, accompanied by Supervisor of Rites Bingbi and Director of Dongchangchang Xu Dacheng.

According to the folklore, the image of the Dongchang factory owner should probably be that kind of half-human, half-ghost, yin-yang, and eccentric existence that can turn anyone into a puddle of blood with just a glance. A few years later, the film and television dramas will be that kind of disaster. Chaotang Qusha Zhongliang, an old pervert with white hair and long nails who looks like a hanged ghost, but in fact this person looks honest and honest, and even has a kind face.

The reason is very simple, no matter how arrogant the eunuch is in the outside world, he is actually a domestic slave of the Tian family, if he is not festive enough, how can he be placed in front of the nobleman?

So it’s a bad thing to demonize…

In short, Dugong Xu is now hunched over to accompany the emperor, his old face is full of smiles, and he is very happy to see it.

"Hmm..." Emperor Guangxing clapped the memorabilia in his hand, and said calmly: "Censor Gaoxing impeached Uncle Huai'an for bribing officials, have you heard about this?"

As the owner of Dongchang and the eyes and ears of the emperor, Xu Dacheng naturally had to review what happened in Beijing every day so that the emperor could ask him anytime.