Nuke Miko: Chronicles of America

Since Ben Gong can help that pirated version of the cat god Buster, it’s okay to teach you some basic knowledge of being a god now.

And...teacher of the gods?This title sounds very loud!It will definitely piss off Zhou Gongdan and Jiang Ziya! "

The ancient fox god thought for a moment, then suddenly rolled on the ground, and transformed into the beautiful and beautiful Daji empress in a purple robe, covered her mouth and smiled coquettishly, "... let the wizard of the coast make me a rice goddess and teach the gods Don’t use my name in Japan, just use Daji’s old name!”

"...Thank you for your tolerance and kindness. I will definitely urge my colleagues to work overtime to draft drafts, so that you can become a model of teacher morality, a teacher of all ages..."

Seeing this, Ms. Akiyama Yukie, the cheap mother of Megumi Akiyama, quickly praised without saying a word, but Megumi Akiyama's eyebrows twitched.

——The praiseworthy word "teacher of all ages" seems to be specially used to describe Confucius, right?

Now that Empress Daji is allowed to be the "teacher of all ages" to teach the American gods, wouldn't she become the most holy teacher Su Daji in the United States?

It feels really weird... I don't know if Confucius would scratch the coffin board underground?

However, Confucius' ancestral home was in the Song Dynasty, and he was a descendant of the Yin and Shang Dynasties. If he met Empress Daji, it seemed that he would be treated with the courtesy of his ancestors, right?

Akiyama Hui thought so divergently.

PS: After carefully referring to the opinions of readers, I feel that Chinese Americans are really not good at hand-to-hand combat, and it is better to use black people.

——A black Chinese teacher who came back from studying in Shijiazhuang and worked as a lecturer at the Confucius Institute. For this reason, he asked a tattoo artist in Chinatown to tattoo the Analects of Confucius on his body. Unexpectedly, the Vietnamese tattoo artist with bad eyesight got a tattoo of Lunyu.

The Confucius Institute was closed and unemployed. After returning home, he found his wife was cheating. He punched his adulterer to death in a rage and was arrested and imprisoned. In prison, he became enlightened and became the God of Khorne. After escaping from prison, he took 72 disciples to travel around the states to preach and teach.

I don't know what Chinese name should be given to this fierce man?

Chapter 160: Demons Dancing in Seattle

As supernatural creatures made up of information and concepts, after letting go of their guard, they trade and communicate with each other very quickly.

Akiyama Megumi only saw Empress Daji and Forest Goddess Merika touching their foreheads, and they exchanged messages in a flash.

The wisdom as vast as the universe is transmitted between the gods, condensing the sparks of divine power, like a celebration firework.

——Forest Goddess Melika gained the knowledge of faith and divine power operation, Empress Daji completed joining the DND God System...

The next moment, Empress Daji changed back into the appearance of a nine-tailed fox, jumped again, and submerged into Qiu Shanhui's body.

Afterwards, a list of a series of DND magic spells quickly appeared in the mind of Akiyama Hui who became a fox-eared lady.

——Healing, Restoration, Immobilization of Human Beings, Elimination of Diseases, Protection from Evil, Resisting Toxins, Summoning Monsters...

Leaving aside other spells, this recovery spell and disease elimination are really useful!

The former can make people grow some lost limbs and organs, and the latter can even cure the "Corona" plague that is raging around the world today!

Also, this [Summon Monster], if I cast it myself, what can I summon?

unicorn?Phoenix?Gryphon?Hell three-headed dog?

Well, if it is one or a group of furry little foxes, it seems to be good!

She thought so, and at the same time couldn't help but cast [Summon Monster] cheaply.

Immediately there was a loud "boom", and a group of familiar obese figures fell from the sky like a meteorite.

First smashed the roof, then broke the table, overturned the bookshelves and cabinets, and finally fell on the floor, splashing countless dust.

The next moment, the fox-eared girl Akiyama Megumin was stunned to see that a black cat goddess Buster, who was bloated and bloated, comparable to a black pig or a black gas tank, was struggling to get out of the wreckage of the furniture, stupidly Probe to look around: "Meow?"

——I haven’t seen you for just a few days. This black cat is in Los Angeles Disneyland.

He was already a [-]-pound super fat cat, but now he seems to continue to fatten up and sprint towards [-] pounds?

This guy turned into a puddle of cats!

"...Ah, Buster is here too?" Melikai, the goddess of the forest and rangers, was very happy to see it, "...There is something that needs your help here in Seattle! Hurry up! Become a 'Cat King' Mother'Shares!"

Saying that, Melika's phantom condensed a cloud of green light on the fingertips of her right hand, and tapped lightly on the forehead of Buster's cat.

The next moment, the obese black cat disappeared in a flash. Accompanied by the old-fashioned flashes and smoke, it turned into a beautiful goddess with black hair and snow-white skin. Cat ear hairpin, wearing a hollow lace short-sleeved black silk dress made of spiritual power, with cat claw gloves on both hands, and a cat tail turned into a belt, which looks elegant and mysterious, with a bit of Cute and playful.

"... Humiao? This body feels weird, but it's not bad to be able to grow bigger! Uh-huh!"

Bastet, the cat god in human form, or DND's goddess of cats and pleasure, Shares, murmured that her voice was very similar to the low-frequency purr that cats make when they are happy, making people who listen to her feel like Feel yourself brushed over by the softest fur or velvet.

However, although Xia Ruisi's voice is so sweet, her behavior can only be said to make people laugh and cry.

Seeing the cat god who had turned into a human form looked around, he picked up the bewildered little witch Akiyama Hui, first pulled her face, then touched her hair, and finally pointed at her buttocks. "Crackling" hand strike - although it wasn't painful, it made Qiu Shanhui almost stupid.

After the beating, she threw Qiu Shanhui on the chair, raised a finger, and warned the excrement shovel officer, "... little girl who shovels excrement, you must respect the gods! Next time, use such a rough If you find a way to drag him over here, your little butt will be beaten and swollen!"

Immediately, Xia Ruisi took out a small mirror from nowhere, and asked Qiu Shanhui's cheap mother for a comb, a box of makeup powder and a lipstick, and began to carefully take care of her beautiful and charming new Appearance, but also self-serving humming "meow meow meow" ballad.

"...Ahem, Xia Ruisi may still need some time to get used to her new identity, let's discuss the business first."

After watching the farce of "pet taming master" or "cat master taming shit shovel officer", the ghostly shadow of the forest goddess Melika coughed dryly and said, "... my voters, Tell me about the current situation in Seattle!"

Megumi Akiyama's cheap mother spread out a map of downtown Seattle on the table, and then put plastic dolls with fantasy style on it.

Then, Akiyama Megumi quickly ignored the pain in his buttocks, but felt a splitting headache:

No wonder the forest goddess Melika is so eager to invite the ancient fox god and cat god to join her. Her relationship is to shake people and pull coolies to be thugs!

——In addition to the forest and ranger goddess Melika, there are many monsters and demons from the abyss, and now they have descended on Seattle...

Moreover, there is more than one demon "visiting"!

sex

Seattle is the largest city in Washington State and the largest port in the Northwest of the United States.

It sits on the narrow strip between the Puget Sound and Lake Washington, bounded by water to the east and west—salt water to the west and lake water to the east.

This is a city surrounded by mountains and rivers. Even in the bustling downtown Seattle, you can enjoy the charming seaside scenery and the beautiful lake and mountains.The city is surrounded by forests, the mountains inside and outside the city are undulating, the ancient trees are towering, lush and green, and the natural environment is excellent.

It's no wonder that Bill Gates wants to build his vacation mansion here. The shores of Lake Washington are full of villas for the rich.

However, today's Seattle is full of demons dancing wildly, full of smog...

For example, in the Washington Botanical Garden on the shore of Lake Washington, there is now a Medusa, a gorgon, who turns everyone who dares to approach into stone.

The bigger trouble is in Pike Place Market by the sea, where a group of black boys who have mutated into goblins have turned the place upside down.

However, compared with the troubles below, the above matters are nothing - the landmark building in the city center, the Space Needle, is the thing with a flying saucer on the top of the tower, which was originally occupied by a group of LGBTQIAPKDX+ sexual minorities. A huge rainbow flag was hoisted on the tower.

Now they were bewitched by an eloquent big devil, and became even more indescribable.

And the name of this big devil is...

"...The lord of the third-tier kingdom, the dark lord, Graz'zt!"

Megumi Akiyama's cheap mother rubbed her temples with a headache, pointed to the Space Needle on the map, and said to her daughter.

Chapter 161: Butt and face is a fat cat's stunt

As a world-renowned scenic tourist destination and a livable city with an excellent green rate, Seattle has so many parks that tourists have no choice.

Among the many parks dotted around here, the Washington Botanical Garden, covering an area of ​​230 hectares, is one of the most eye-catching emeralds.

It is located in the northeast of downtown Seattle, on the west bank of the rippling Lake Washington.

There are not only winding paths in the park for leisurely strolls, but also fountains and lawns for picnics and dog walks, as well as a baseball field surrounded by jungles and fresh air for young people to swing bats, and even tigers and other beasts are raised for display. ,

There are also kayak rentals on the small pier in the park, which are available for tourists to go boating on Lake Washington, which is as wide as the sea.

Walking among the cascading flowers, lingering on the long path, listening to the chirping of birds and tigers, one feels as if the hustle and bustle of the city is gradually receding.

In the Washington Botanical Garden, there is also a Japanese restaurant with small bridges and flowing water, and red and purple doors. The Japanese courtyard inside is extremely exquisite, with springs, stones, flowers and trees all available, which can be described as the essence of freehand brushwork. "Kareshanshui", there are also ponds with lotus flowers, strangely shaped pine trees, clear springs flowing in stone canals, crackling bamboo buckets, stalagmites, stone tablets, stone turtles, stone pagodas, stone lanterns, stone dizang, etc. Megumi Akiyama, the cheap mother who immigrated to the United States, is her favorite place to relax during the holidays.

But in today's Washington Botanical Garden, this Japanese-style courtyard with the charm of an oriental island country has added a batch of brand-new stone carving crafts inside and outside.

——All kinds of grey-white statues of life-sized human beings with hideous faces and terrified expressions, one in the east and one in the west, scattered on the trails and corridors of the courtyard, as well as in the pavilion and by the pond. There are men and women, old and young. Few, there are decent people in suits and leather shoes, waitresses in kimonos, chefs in tall hats, modern girls in fashionable dresses, and American soldiers in full armor.

Each gray stone statue has a completely different posture and appearance, and the movements of the gods are lifelike, obviously not the product of crude manufacturing.

In fact, just ten to dozens of hours ago, they were all living human beings, but unfortunately they encountered the Gorgon Medusa crawling out of the pond, and fell victim to Medus before she could escape. Shamoyan's petrification technique turned into a motionless stone statue.

And the "artist" who concocted the above-mentioned stone statue, the woman who mutated into a snake-haired Medusa, was soaking her body in the pond, beating the stone with her tail to beat the beat, and singing a sad song The ballad - the content is about a heartbroken person empathizing with another or something.

I don't know if the "heartbreaker" and "rival in love" in her mouth are in the "living statues" inside and outside the Japanese garden?

"...Speaking of which, isn't it written in Greek mythology how humans deal with Medusa?"

Squatting behind the bushes more than 100 meters away from the courtyard, Akiyama Kei observed the movement of the Medusa with a periscope, and complained to the American captain lying next to her, "...don't look directly into Medusa's eyes, Just look in the mirror."

——Adhering to the principle of first being close before being far, and first being easy before being difficult, in this battle against demons in Seattle, Megumi Akiyama is going to practice with Medusa first.

"...Using a mirror to observe the target, we have tried it a long time ago! The problem is that even if the target is found, it is useless!

The skin of that Medusa is made of Kevlar or uranium alloy, bullets can't pierce it at all!Not even the dedicated sniper bullets! "

The captain replied with a foul face, "...our sniper has tried it many times, and he said that the Banshee is tougher than a tank!"

"...Then how about sending out 'reconnaissance and attack integration' military drones to drop bombs, or let the artillery carry out a long-range coverage bombardment?"

The little witch Akiyama Hui raised her eyebrows, and she suggested that she was afraid that the world would not be chaotic, which made the captain frown.

"...Why don't you say that you dispatched strategic bombers to drop white phosphorus incendiary bombs? Or let gunships straf here and there several times?"

The captain rolled his eyes and complained, "...forget it, let alone bombing and shelling, we are not even allowed to use grenades!"

"...Why? This courtyard has such a high value? It doesn't look like a cultural relic!"

Akiyama Megumi looked around at the beautiful Japanese-style courtyard, and asked with some confusion——if this was Kyoto or Nara, she might still think that this courtyard was a historical place, and even during military operations, she should try her best to be protected.

But this is Washington State in the United States, which is far away from the Japanese archipelago, so this Japanese garden will definitely not be a historic site...

"...it doesn't matter that the courtyard itself is burnt to the ground, Seattle is now like Kabul and Baghdad.

But the problem is, those guys who were turned into stone by Medusa really have a big background. "

The captain shrugged his shoulders, "...do you know? The Japanese restaurant opposite was originally requisitioned by our army to hold a press conference. As a result, among the unlucky bastards who turned into stone, there was a state congressman With a major general, executives from two defense suppliers, and a Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter... So, can you be gentle when you're slaying demons, miss?

Your mother said that she can undo petrification, but I don't know if broken or burnt living stone statues can be put together..."

He looked at Megumi Akiyama worriedly, as if he was very worried that the famous nuclear explosion priestess would casually throw a "mini nuclear fusion strike".

"...Don't worry, a mere Medusa is not worthy for me to serve with a hydrogen bomb—look, I'll call her natural enemy!"

As Megumin Akiyama said this, he condensed his magic power and cast a [Summon Monster].

The next moment, a fat black cat with a shiny coat and a round body danced her short legs and fell from the sky meowing.

This scene seemed a bit funny at first glance, but Medusa, who was lying in the pool singing, stopped singing suddenly.

Looking up at the cat's butt that was getting bigger and bigger in her field of vision, she trembled all over, her limbs twitched, and she wanted to escape, but her body didn't listen.

As a result, under the shock of the god-level natural enemy's breath, she can only watch in despair as her own end comes quickly!

——There is a fact that is easily overlooked: cats are not only the natural enemies of mice, but also the natural enemies of snakes.

And after applying the "Cat and Goddess of Pleasure Charis" template of the DND pantheon, according to the settings of the Coastal Wizards, this cat god hates all snake creatures extremely, to the point of abhorrence—full Medusa, who has a head with snake hair and a body with a snake tail, is naturally one of the snakes.

So, facing the cat god's butt that was attacking head-on, Medusa in the pond was like a lamb being stared at by a tiger, unable to move in fright.

In the end, the black cat goddess sat down on Medusa's head, and broke her neck bone, which was stronger than titanium alloy, with a "click".

In this way, in an instant, this Medusa, which made thousands of US troops scratch their heads, died aggrieved by the ruthless tricks of the cat's buttocks.

Chapter 162: The real goblin slayer will take the old godmother to slaughter the young

Relying on the cat god Buster/Sha Ruisi's "butt smashing face" stunt, after sitting down Medusa with ease, the U.S. troops surrounding this Japanese-style courtyard patiently waited until Akiyama Megumi went up alone and drew his sword Medusa cut off her head and put it in her pocket before following carefully.

——Who told Medusa in Greek mythology that even if her head was cut off, she could still turn people into stones with her eyes?

On the other hand, although he was dissatisfied with being treated as a "cat ball" again, after seeing such a big "half snake" under his butt, Buster, the fat cat goddess, suddenly turned his anger into joy, and immediately meowed Screaming and stretching out the cat's claws, I want to disembowel this Medusa and roast it to try it out.

——The Medusa snake skin, which cannot even be pierced by sniper bullets, is now under the cat god's claws, but it is easily torn apart like paper.

This made it very difficult for the American officers and soldiers who came in - a lot of research institutes related to the Pentagon are all gearing up for this Medusa!

Living fantasy creatures!Who doesn't want to be dissected, skinned and boned?