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Zhou Buqi felt that this matter really needed to be discussed carefully. Sun Wanran's trouble was not an exception. Except for Shi Jinglin, the girls in the family were not from very good backgrounds and had no experience of being rich.

We need to come up with a charter to teach them how to deal with this kind of thing. Being rich is a good thing, but don’t make your family a mess and stop communicating with your relatives just because you are rich.

"Yaxian, come here."

Zhou Buqi called Ning Yaxian over and asked her how she dealt with such a thing.

Ning Yaxian is well-informed and very wise in handling interpersonal relationships. "No matter who they are, treat them the same and don't borrow money."

"Don't want to borrow?" Sun Wanran was stunned for a moment, her eyes hanging on her face in a daze, "They are all very, very dear relatives."

"I won't borrow it either."

"Wouldn't the relationship between relatives fade away?"

"How could it be?" Ning Yaxian said in a relaxed tone, "Don't worry too much, put yourself in my shoes, if you are very poor now, but you have a particularly powerful relative, would you deliberately alienate him because he doesn't lend you money? ?”

Sun Wanran frowned.

Ning Yaxian said softly: "At the beginning, they will be unhappy, but as time goes by, they may treat you closer than before. Not only will they not be alienated from you, they will also try their best to please you."

Sun Wanran said in disbelief: "Isn't this playing with human nature? Are these still relatives?"

"This is the evil nature of wealth." Ning Yaxian looked indifferent, "That's why I always told you before, don't associate with people of lower levels. This is not discrimination. Only at the same level can we have equal personalities. "

Sun Wanran shuddered.

This really tears the beautiful coat of family love to pieces.

Ning Lu tentatively said: "There are exceptions. For example, some people are well educated and have profound thoughts and the ability to think from other people's perspective. Even if they are at a low level, they can still integrate into high-level circles. There can also be equal treatment.”

Zhou Buqi praised: "Lulu said it well. However, people with this kind of thinking ability often know where the real value lies. Money is never the most valuable thing. Borrowing money is too cheap. Teach people how to It is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish. Those who think are to borrow fish, to 'fish' with three o'clock water, rather than to borrow ready-made fish that are caught."

Sun Wanran seemed a little confused, and Ning Yaxian reminded her with a smile, "Look at Shi Jingmei, she is the most typical example."

"Oh! Yes!"

Sun Wanran suddenly realized something.

Shi Jinglin's second sister, Shi Jingmei, used to be a vice president in the family business, and her job was very frustrating. They are also relatives. When she asked her sister for help, it was never to borrow money. Even when she bought shares in Chaowan Commune, Shi Jinglin wanted to lend her money, but she didn't want it. She just wants this opportunity to join the trendy play commune.

This is the same level of relatives.

The results came out.

Shi Jingmei succeeded.

Let alone success, even if she failed this time, she was so motivated and worked so hard, as a real relative, who could be stingy with the resources in their hands and not help her?

Zhou Buqi said softly: "This actually has little to do with whether they are relatives. Some people, even relatives, are too lazy to help, while some people, even outsiders, will willingly help again and again. It depends on the person. Is there growth value? If there is growth value, it doesn’t matter how much money I spend on you. I will help you without asking for anything in return. I have helped many people, and I helped broker Geely’s acquisition of Volvo. This matter is related to I don’t have a penny relationship, but this is a realization of self-worth and self-satisfaction. I give you money, and when you grow, my personal value is reflected, so I am willing to help you. I give you money , you eat, drink, whore and gamble every day, but don't do business, and don't show the value of my money, I won't help you."

Sun Wanran nodded repeatedly, "Yes, that's it."

Zhou Buqi stretched out his hand, wiped the tears on her face, and said with a smile: "Let's go, go to that pen over there, and I'll give you a good talk. Write it down, and tell everyone about it during the family meeting. Talk about it and learn from it. I also learned this from Lao Yu, and it makes sense."

"Which Lao Yu?"

"The one from New Oriental."

"oh."

Sun Wanran sighed in his heart, feeling that it was so utilitarian to use this kind of rational thinking to examine family relationships, and it really drew a clear line with the years of growing up in the past twenty years.

No wonder the ancient princes felt like a different person once they became emperors. Different positions really gave them different perspectives on the world.

Changing positions, Ning Yaxian, Ning Lu and Sun Wanran all picked up their pens, like primary school students in class.

Zhou Buqi said with a smile: "Don't be so serious, I'll just give you a general idea. Wan Wan's relatives come to borrow money, keep borrowing money, and make faces, which makes people feel uncomfortable. This is normal. But who is right and who is wrong here? Are your relatives wrong? "

Sun Wanran was stunned, "It can't be that I'm wrong, right?"

Zhou Buqi said: "Many people lack this kind of dialectical thinking. When faced with viewpoints from different angles, they always use a simple interchangeable concept to explain all complex social issues."

Sun Wanran was ashamed.

Zhou Buqi said: "Back then, the Hong Kong government had a kidnapper of the century who kidnapped the son of the richest man. Then, the kidnapper went to find the richest man and found that the richest man was very calm. The kidnapper asked, 'Why are you so calm?' The richest man told him, 'Because I was wrong this time. I am so well-known but I did not equip myself with adequate security. If you make a mistake, you will be punished, and this is what you should be punished for.' Later, the richest man obediently paid for it, and paid out several hundred million."

Sun Wanran murmured: "Mr. Li is very generous."

Zhou Buqi said: "This is not a question of being open-minded or not, it is a question of the angle from which you look at something, and which view of right or wrong you want to choose."

"Right or wrong?"

"Well, from a legal point of view, of course it was the kidnapper who was at fault. But this did not have any practical significance at the time. His son was kidnapped, others made mistakes, but he was the one who suffered the greatest loss? So what exactly is that? Who was wrong?"

This thinking model is a bit too complicated, and Zhou Buqi feels like he can't explain it clearly.

Ning Yaxian said with a smile: "This is a psychological concept called project separation, which refers to solving the troubles in interpersonal relationships. If you want to solve this problem, you must first distinguish between what is your project and what is mine. Issue. The kidnappers demand ransom, which is an issue for the kidnappers; suffering losses due to kidnapping is an issue for the richest man. In this issue for the richest man, what he has to do is to reduce losses as much as possible, to make friends with the kidnappers, and not to go too far. To stimulate him."

"so smart?"

Zhou Buqi was somewhat surprised. No wonder Ning Yaxian was able to handle the complex relationship of the Zhou family in an orderly manner and did not encounter such troubles as Sun Wanran's relatives.

They really do research!

Ning Yaxian smiled sweetly, "Just tell me, I just know a concept, but I can't summarize it as well as you."

Zhou Buqi was coaxed very comfortable by her and said: "When it comes to the concept of right and wrong, there can be three kinds. One is the concept of right and wrong of jurists, the other is the concept of right and wrong of economists, and the third is the concept of right and wrong of businessmen. Misconception. Let me give you another example: there is a bad guy A who lured a good guy B into C's unlocked construction site, and then killed B. In this example, who was wrong?"

Ning Yaxian smiled charmingly at him, and Ning Lu was taking notes carefully. Sun Wanran could only bite the bullet and say: "Legalally speaking, A was wrong, and he was the murderer."

Zhou Buqi smiled and said: "Yes, A is a bad guy and he broke the law. However, punishing bad guys is not the fundamental way to solve social problems. If one A is punished, there will be many more A's. Using the economist's equation From a wrong perspective, C was wrong and C should be punished. Punishing C is the smallest way to reduce the total social cost of similar incidents. Let C close the door in the future and not leave a place for bad guys to commit crimes."

Ning Yaxian added, "Just like the shooting cases in the United States. The legal solution is to crack down on the bad guys and protect the good guys. This social cost is too high and the effect is not very good. But if it is an economist's Right or wrong, what is wrong is gun retail stores. By banning guns nationwide, the total social cost of security for the whole society will be greatly reduced, and the occurrence of shootings can be effectively controlled."

Zhou Buqi felt that Yaxian was really great. She was indeed Ning Da Mi. She was really not comparable to those other little girls in the movies. He then said: "What if it is a businessman's view of right and wrong? What is wrong is actually B is the victim. He is the one who has suffered the greatest loss. Before he dies, he will definitely think, 'I made a huge mistake, I should not have been fooled into being here by A stupidly.'"

Sun Wanran felt that his spiritual thinking had opened a door and entered a new world.

In the past few days, she has been troubled by relatives at home and has been particularly uncomfortable.

I always feel that these relatives should not do that, that it is wrong.

At this moment, she suddenly had a new thinking angle.

Maybe it was you who was wrong?

You are the one who suffers the most!

I had no money, no relatives, no good mood, and fell into depression.

Zhou Buqi concluded: "Any matter can be thought from these three perspectives. If you are a bystander or a critic, of course you can stand from the perspective of a legal scholar. It is A who is wrong and he is the murderer. Murderer; if you are an official or a policy maker, you must have an economist's thinking and look for cost-minimizing solutions; however, if you are a victim, please do not be fooled by the opinions promoted by critics and officials. Guided by collectivism. Others can stand and speak without pain in their backs, because they do not need to suffer. You have the biggest loss, you are the one who is wrong, and you are the one who needs to change."

Sun Wanran took a deep breath, "I understand, I can't change those elder relatives in my family, I can only change myself. I can't use their mistakes to punish myself."