The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: imperfectluck  Editor: Kurisu

“Elves—the most spoiled and loved children of the Creator Goddess.”

If the Creator Goddess was biased, then the elves would doubtlessly be the most spoiled children of all.

The elves had beautiful appearances, long lives, powerful and useful natural talents, and the ability to excel in both physical and magical pursuits. The Superior Elves and Royal Elves had incredible potential. All of this was a blessing from the Creator Goddess.

And these blessings also led to a unique elven culture. Their powerful talents and long lives allowed the elves to reach the peak in magic as well as martial arts in all dimensions. The elves created a strict social hierarchy where everyone had their role.

With their inborn beautiful appearances and inclination towards pursuing the beautiful, the elves’ expertise in art, music, and performance all reached the level of opulent extravagance. This also gave them a longstanding racial inheritance that withstood the test of time.

The elves were the most spoiled children of the Creator Goddess. This was a fact that no living individual would disagree with.

No other culture in the world of Eich possessed such a long history. The most ancient Gold Elves had been born simultaneously with the first dragons and demons. It could be said that the Gold Elves had existed ever since Creator Goddess Eich created the entire world.

In history, the elves had fought against the demons, exchanged technology with the Haletdam scholars, and even taught both ancient and modern-day humans about magic. The elves’ glory had lasted for far too long.

“Don’t talk about history or art in front of the elves, just like how you wouldn’t brag about being courageous in front of a beastman.” This was a well-known phrase that was the best explanation for everything.

The Holy War was cruel. Other ruling species that lost their “ruling” status would typically disappear entirely in history. For instance, the great demons’ empire, the Haletdam scholars’ generation, the dwarven city-states, and the undead Tark Republic. However, the elves who had experienced countless Holy Wars had only gradually retreated from history.

This wasn’t only because of the Creator Goddess’s blessing and the elves’ potential. This was also because in the past, the elves were highly skilled at maintaining diplomatic ties with other species. In many critical turning points in history, the elves had always been on the victor’s side.

The Tark Republic, the Haletdam scholars, and even the modern-day Mage Country. All of them had received various amounts of benefits from the elves. With the guidance of the ruling Gold Elves, the Elven Empire had forever shown all other important species, except for the great demons, a mysterious amount of friendliness.

However, perhaps it was precisely due to this diplomatic style that appeared weak that the Superior Elves rebelled against the ruling Gold Elves, for the Superior Elves desired even greater glory and forever being at the top.

“Why must we lower our heads and treat those lowly monkeys with such politeness!?”

“Why must we remain in the forests and mountains!?”

“Why can’t we simply destroy those lowly species!?”

As time passed, with many ebbs and flows of the Elemental Tide, the Gold Elves met their end, just like other ancient species from the first generation. The lessening of the power of the elements caused an ancient species like the Gold Elves to gradually lose fertility. Near the end, the birth of any single Gold Elf would be a cause for national celebration in the Elven Empire.

Not only that, all of the Holy Wars and internal wars in history had caused many of the top-level Gold Elves to die. The weakening of the ruling Gold Elves along with their low fertility rate meant that the lower-ranked and more numerous Superior Elves gradually took over the upper class of elven society.

Did all of this seem familiar? Yes, the current moon elf and silver elf society was now having the exact same problem. The lower-ranked ordinary elves were now more numerous and overall more powerful than the Superior Elves. Of course the lower-ranked elves would want to replace the ruling elves who had gotten weaker and weaker. This had nothing to do with the rulers making decisions that were wise or foolish. This was simple social change. As the power in society rebalanced itself, the new main social class of any society would choose a new ruler that was more suitable to itself.

This was just like how the Industrial Revolution in my original world had spurred social change. In a magical world like Eich, social change would also naturally cause the rulers and those in charge to change. Perhaps it could be said that society itself would call out for change.

At such a time, anything that the Gold Elves did would be considered wrong. And so, the Superior Elves all rebelled in the name of “freedom”. This major rebellion didn’t only take place in the mortal plane. The most important of all was that the Elven Gods wanted to overthrow the Gold Elf Gods. The final result was that the entire Gold Elf species was killed by the Superior Elves. The Gold Elf Gods were also all killed. Harloys was the only Gold Elf who remained that woke up several hundred years later, but she was undead after that.

However, success and defeat for the Superior Elves would come for the same reason. The Gold Elves, who had ruled over all elves for countless generations, were quite wise. Since they obviously needed to delegate authority due to their own insufficient numbers, the Gold Elves delegated the most important four national matters of military, religious, civilian, and diplomatic affairs to the four different Superior Elf species. Although such a political structure caused the birth of powerful Superior Elf families, this also limited their power because the different Superior Elf species would each be in their own factions.

This also became the reason for the Superior Elves’ future downfall.

When the ruling Gold Elves were killed off, the four Superior Elf species, who all had roughly equivalent strength, found that they had a major headache. Since there was very little difference between their strength, none of them were willing to become another’s subordinate. However, they all considered it too foolish to immediately start fighting each other right after having successfully overthrown the Gold Elves. So, for the time being, an elven government led by a council of elders became the only possible choice.

The end result? The scattered elven tribes and elven kingdoms of today were the best evidence. Some things were easy to tell simply by looking at the result. The elves had gone from glorious to weak. The turning point had been the destruction and collapse of the Elven Empire, caused by the Superior Elves. Without the Gold Elves keeping all other elves in balance and acting as the adhesive, the elves had gone down a slippery slope.

Lorci and the dark elves had been exiled as they had lost in the elves’ internal war. The wood elves and the druid alliance withdrew themselves from the Elven Empire and joined the neutral Nature Faction instead. The other Superior Elves warred against the wood elves for leaving the Elven Empire, and then the moon elves and silver elves ended up warring against each other. If the Gold Elves had still been around, none of this would have happened.

When the Elven Gods and Superior Elves obtained what they wanted after killing the Gold Elves, the delight of victory and pleasure of authority had made them all incredibly arrogant. They all believed that they were much better than the “rotten and weak Gold Elves” and that they could lead the elves to a much better future… And then, the Superior Elves who were all naturally suited to different areas started interfering with other Superior Elves’ specialties. Constant friction finally elevated into internal war, followed by a Holy War that immediately caused the former Elven Empire to be reduced to nothing more than scattered elven tribes.

When it came to how fast a species’ downfall was, no other species could probably compare to the Superior Elves. Of course, the Superior Elves would never admit this. Everything that happened to them would be “the fault of others”, “the fault of the world”, or even “the Gold Elves’ scheme”…Although some of this was indeed due to the Gold Elves’ original political structure, it was quite pitiful that they were still being blamed even after being dead for so long already.

When the elves first split up into different tribes and started living separately, they had all been quite happy. They probably all felt like “We finally don’t have such burden with us”. But as time passed, the elves’ lives became more and more difficult, so of course some elves would start missing the past. And as the entire elf species became surpassed by the “short-lived monkey” human race, and as elves became more and more insignificant in the world, the elves started missing the Elven Empire even more as their lives became even more difficult.

As time passed with so many years of hardship, more and more Superior Elves started to miss the glory of the past as well. This seemed rather ironic in the eyes of some ancient existences.

And now, the elves were once again at a turning point of fate.

The moon elves had established a new Elven Empire in name. This was the completion of an elven dream, and right now, this elven dream indeed had practical meaning.

First, this meant that the moon elves were now the rulers of all elves in name. Now then, since their capital was under threat, didn’t that mean that all powerful elves had the responsibility to go defend the capital? And if someone decided to run away from the Moonwheel Capital at this time, couldn’t that elf be declared a deserter, a loathsome traitor to the elf species?

The answer was an obvious yes. The elf species had an exceedingly large number of rules and traditionalists. The moon elves still hadn’t given up hope. They still wanted to hold on, even if there was only a sliver of hope.

Every day, countless reinforcements from everywhere were arriving at the Moonwheel Capital. These reinforcements included wood elves, druids, and rangers from the forests, half-elves and human mercenaries who admired the elven culture, and young warriors who desired glory and combat achievements.

“Perhaps the information that the first battlefield will be the Moonwheel Capital is wrong? Or maybe the first demon wave isn’t as hopeless as history records? Or maybe we’ll receive even more reinforcements? We have the protection of our Elven Gods, so we can make it past this calamitous demon wave.”

Perhaps this hope seemed quite foolish. But, just think about it from their standpoint. To use an analogy on Earth, if there was somehow a highly accurate prophecy that said that Japan would suddenly sink entirely into the ocean ten days from now, perhaps due to a natural phenomenon, what would happen?

Due to Japan’s large population and the overly short amount of time, a major evacuation would be impossible, and even if all the residents of Japan were kindly accepted into other countries, they would become nothing but refugees. Their country would be finished. Without even a homeland, would their nationality continue to receive recognition? And even if they still existed as a nation, would they still be independent and free?

Unlike Japan, the elves were surrounded by hostile human countries. Humans even viewed elves as the most valuable slaves. Thus, the elves were in a much worse and frightening situation than my hypothetical analogy regarding Japan.

If a major elven escape occurred, countless elves would chaotically try to escape to other countries. Wouldn’t that mean that several dozen human slaver organizations would appear on the human kingdoms’ borders to enslave the elves? The human nobles would have no shame or limits to restrain them.

To be honest, such hypothetical situations would be too difficult to pull off regardless. But no matter how you looked at it, no matter how the elves responded to their crisis, it would still be a situation full of despair.

If the elves decided to organize a major escape, this would be the equivalent of immediately declaring the end of their new Elven Empire right after establishing it. This would definitely lead to a major calamity for the elves. This was a heavy responsibility that would definitely be recorded in history, something that no Superior Elf leader wanted. In their eyes, that would be the equivalent of a slow death for the entire elf species. They might as well band together to face off against this crisis instead.

In fact, due to those hoping for the best, a certain rumor was already spreading that the first demon wave wouldn’t appear in the Moonwheel Capital. The rumor said that this was nothing more than fake information spread by the humans in order to cause the collapse of the Elven Empire.

In fact, as this rumor spread, plenty of elves started believing it. This was because no matter the species, people would always prefer to believe what they wanted to believe.

Not only that, the human kingdoms were astonished by the moon elves’ attitude. The moon elves didn’t even try to suppress this rumor! It seemed like the new Elven Empire was tacitly allowing such a rumor to spread. The moon elves were actually trying to proclaim that all was well?

The moon elves’ attitude was quite apparent. At the very least, they could enjoy for the time being the taste of having “revived” the Elven Empire from history. They would truly have a wonderful time afterwards if they survived this crisis, and if they could use the name of the Elven Empire to recruit more reinforcements, perhaps it would be much more likely that they could survive the first demon wave.

But in some people’s eyes, this type of hope was the utmost foolishness. The moon elves were already in a deep pitfall, yet they were dragging others into this pitfall along with them at such a time? Was it that fun to drag others to their deaths?

At such a time, the most logical thing to do would of course be to loudly shout “Don’t mind me” and then obediently die in the pitfall. This would be the best course of action to preserve as many elves as possible. But, quite often, especially when one’s life was at stake, the power of emotion in an intelligent being would far overpower the power of logic.

Perhaps the anti-moon elf faction of silver elves had seen through all of this already, which was why they chose to immigrate to the Northlands. However, it seemed that they hadn’t acted quickly enough.

Perhaps the Creator Goddess still didn’t want to see her most spoiled children annihilated, so she activated the invisible power of Fate at a critical moment to set a certain person in motion.

“Roland, come over here! I discovered something really important in Didina’s treasury!” Harloys suddenly shouted to me, which surprised me. That was because she was rarely this astonished and delighted in our soul connection. What discovery would possibly make someone as knowledgeable as Harloys so happy?

I didn’t have too many expectations for the succubus Didina’s treasury. This was because old veterans would all have the same habit—they wouldn’t leave truly precious treasures by their side. Otherwise, if they were attacked by an enemy and lost, they would lose the battle along with their treasures… Fine, I admit that I also dug some treasuries with mediocre treasure and drew a bunch of treasure maps leading to those mediocre treasuries.

As for the treasuries right in my home? I still left at least some valuables so that others would be able to take something valuable and not feel like killing people to vent if they found nothing valuable. This was because it would be impossible for anyone to always prevent thieves.

I looked at Didina in astonishment. I hadn’t thought that she would be such a novice? But, she had an immediate look of astonishment that she didn’t even try to hide. It seemed that even she didn’t expect this.

I walked into Didina’s treasury. As I expected, I saw so much gold everywhere that it was blinding. However, I knew even without needing magical appraisal that this gold would either be illusionary gold coins or the devils’ cursed gold coins.

Amongst all the gold, Harloys and Margaret were busy with some rundown ancient furniture. They were currently using a damp towel to constantly polish an antique dressing table that seemed to be made of white oak wood.

“Roland, this is the dressing table that I used back in the day!”

Harloys showed it off to me as if it was the greatest treasure. Perhaps she was overly excited from seeing this dressing table that she had used before, but it seemed as if her mental age had regressed to that time as well.

“You called me over for such a small matter?” I remarked in exasperation. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that any of your furniture from that time can be considered a mega artifact today, so once again, you’ve proved that you’re as old as a fossil… Wait, something’s strange?”

Typically at this time, the silly cat would have already flown towards me, biting my head and adding herself to my head as a cat hat. But today, she was strangely excited and didn’t even care about my sarcastic remark.

“Hmph, I knew you wouldn’t know what’s so good about it. Take a look at this.”

Harloys stood in front of the dressing table’s mirror. Even though she was clearly in her adult Gold Elf form, the mirror reflected her much younger Gold Elf loli form.

Harloys then took a deep breath and lightly touched the mirror with her finger, causing waves to ripple within.

She then touched her own neck. The younger girl in the mirror copied her movements. However, she had an extra golden sapphire necklace on her neck. The next instant, the same golden sapphire necklace appeared on Harloys’ neck.

Harloys then cutely nodded, causing a small and cute golden crown to materialize on her head.

She then reached out her hand towards the mirror and shook her hand. A golden staff suddenly appeared in her hand both in the mirror and in real life.

“The Tear of Avis, the Will of the Elven Emperor, and the Final Gold Crown… These are the three God Equipment pieces of the Gold Elf royalty! This is the lost inheritance which can prove one’s identity as elven royalty!” Didina actually managed to recognize these lost artifacts that had disappeared for so long in history. I had to once again recalculate just how old and valuable Didina might be. But more than that, I suddenly felt like something was off about the situation as if some mega trouble had just caught me.

I should have been happy as well for Harloys unexpectedly picking up this nostalgic and valuable treasure from her past. However, all of these “coincidences” caused me to recall a previous conversation I had with Catio, the God of Fate who joined the Hell Gods.

“Catio, can you truly control Fate? Then, could you help me change my Fate… I don’t need wealth or anything like that. I just want some better luck with women. Please, I just want a more normal woman in my life…”

“…I feel like this is so embarrassing. Can I pretend not to know you?”

At the time, we were having a secret discussion right after Hell was successfully established. Catio was in a good mood, so he even cracked a rare joke.

However, I wasn’t joking at all! I had countless “daughters” already, yet I was still a several-centuries-old virgin! It wasn’t even at the level of humiliating anymore if I said this as it would be utterly pitiful instead! All I wanted was a relatively normal girlfriend that I could have a normal family and two normal children with! Was that too much to ask for?

But right after his joke, Catio became serious again. Since this was about Fate, he had to take it seriously.

“Change Fate for you? While I could perhaps do this for anyone else, it’s impossible for you. Every single individual is bound by countless lines of karma. While some may shout loudly about breaking free from the chains of Fate, they don’t realize even that is part of Fate itself. Every single existence has their own Fate. Perhaps some will be ordinary for their entire lives. Perhaps some will become renowned heroes. But, they’re foundationally no different in the River of Fate. These lines of Fate were decided right when they were born.”

Catio glanced at me as he said this as if he left something unsaid.

“As I am the God of Fate and the Guardian of the River of Fate, I am capable of cutting the lines of karma and reconnecting them. However, if I give any individual some type of good luck, I must give that same person an equal amount of bad luck. This is the basic law of Fate. Also, my changing has its limits. While I am capable of viewing another person’s Fate in the River of Fate, I will automatically forget that person’s Fate after I leave the River. Even I am not allowed to reveal another’s Fate, and no matter what I change, that itself is also part of that person’s Fate.”

Rather than being surprised, I was actually delighted to hear all this.

“I don’t care any bit about my luck with money. All I want is to improve my luck with women.”

“I would be able to improve someone else’s luck with women at the cost of their luck with money. However, you weren’t in the River of Fate to begin with. You are capable of changing the fate of those around you. However, you don’t even have any good luck or bad luck. You have no luck at all… but you could also interpret this as the most terrible luck possible.”

Even now, I still recalled how Catio had looked at me with such an expression of sympathy that also said he didn’t understand my plight.

“While I am capable of giving you a marriage fate that should have rightfully belonged to someone else, this will be equivalent to challenging the fundamental rules of the River of Fate and tossing karma into the void. Not only will I be punished, your luck with women that I give you will definitely be transformed into bad luck with women in the end…”

“Then what use are you!? The God of Fate is so useless when it comes to Fate!? You’re supposed to be a powerful God! Just how useless can you be!”

I had been quite angry at the time and ended up directly insulting him. However, Catio had responded with a laugh.

“That’s right. In front of the invisible and formless Fate, countless coincidences will create a definite. The God of Fate is indeed quite useless…”

Even though Catio was talking about how useless he was, it seemed as if he was praising the grandness of Fate.

“…And no matter how I try to modify Fate, even I cannot escape from Fate’s arrangements. Roland, let me give you a sincere piece of advice. Perhaps you aren’t in the River of Fate, but everyone and everything connected to you is still in the River of Fate. Unless you are willing to cut off your attachments to everything and everyone, even you will be unable to escape from Fate in the end.”

His joking smile gave me such a headache. Once again, I confirmed back then that I hated prophets more than anyone else in the world, especially prophets who only said half of everything.

And now, as I watched Harloys show off her treasures, I felt even more of a headache.

“Damned prophet, what pitfall have I fallen into this time?”

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