Gospel of Lazy Cancer

The aftermath of the domestic left hemisphere has not yet settled, and the overseas premiere of "Decisive Battle" is over.

The movie reviews on the Internet are strangely unanimous: Hahaha, it's very good-looking!Well worth a look!Call your relatives and friends to explore the universe and dominate the interstellar world!

MMP in the hearts of the audience: I thought it was a sci-fi action movie, but it turned out to be a drama? !Although very annoying, but unexpectedly gray and beautiful, I didn't want to go to the bathroom for nearly two hours!The one in the middle crying like a dog is definitely not me!Ah, my friend asked me if it looked good...it looks good!Must push!I can't be the only one who was cheated! !

Film reviews in paper media are a bit slower than those on the Internet, and before the truth comes out, another large wave of audiences are fooled into the theater.

A couple walks into the theater, finds their own seat and sits down.They arrived late, and there were already many people sitting around. Although it was not a weekend, the theater was basically full.

The girl complained: "It's another sci-fi movie with fluorescent lights playing around, what's so good about it?"

The boy said awkwardly: "Next time I will accompany you to read XX's diary. There are also many handsome stars in it. Look, there are many Chinese! I heard that they are all here to support idols from their country."

"Really?" The girl was skeptical, and after scanning the surroundings, there were indeed many Asian faces, and reluctantly let them go, "Okay."

At the beginning, it still took the interstellar sci-fi route, showing exquisite pictures and magnificent backgrounds that are not inferior to the trailer.

In the universe with the bright nebula as the background, the Shenzhou came from afar, and the huge fuselage slowly passed the camera, and the boy couldn't help but let out a sound of admiration.General Arthur of the Federation accepted the order and took the shuttle aircraft to negotiate with a certain force on the earth in crisis.

With the voyage of the aircraft, the earth in the interstellar era is displayed in front of everyone, it is black, and it is impossible to distinguish land or ocean.

"Is this still Blue Star?" Some viewers murmured.

The mechanical voice of AI ruthlessly introduces the history of the earth. Pollution, nuclear explosions, and natural disasters completely destroyed the ecology of the earth. Humans emigrated to alien galaxies, and then returned to the earth to transform the environment after advanced technology, making it suitable for living creatures. , the transformed earth has lost its original appearance, but there are still humans who miss their homeland and live here.

Passing through a bustling human gathering area, there is a huge human-shaped projection above the city, and the aircraft the general rides is only the size of his eyes.She was wearing a swimsuit with a sweet smile: "I am Agatha, a companion robot, model IHYG76819, simulated skin, personality supports private customization, and the materials are green, safe, environmentally friendly and recyclable. Just change it, don’t fix it, store celebration promotion, nine hundred and ninety-nine federal coins can take me home.” She introduced, while making all kinds of pure and lovely movements.

But the ruthless federal general turned a deaf ear to this beauty, staring intently at the screen in front of him, studying his opponent's information.

The spaceship passed through amazing scenes, and finally stopped in front of a two-story ancient building.

There are red lanterns hanging on both sides, and a plaque written in Chinese characters in the middle: "Chongqing Old Hot Pot." It is in stark contrast to the cold and dark city of machinery around it.

Then, the style of painting went a little off.

The more girls watch, the more involved they become, and the more boys watch, the more confused they become.

General Arthur, guided by the waiter with strange makeup, entered the hot pot restaurant. Following his gaze, the camera skipped the late [-]th century-style decoration in the hall, the guests of different races, and the hot white steaming red oil on the table.He smelled the violent and stimulating smell in the air, and frowned slightly uncomfortably.

The waiter enthusiastically introduced the features of the store to him. Seeing no response from the other party, he thought it was a problem with his translator, and asked cautiously, "Sir, are you human?"

"Union General," Arthur corrected his title, and spit out a cold order, "I want to see your boss."

The waiter was extremely nervous, thinking that he had done something wrong, and the other party was going to complain to the boss, but he went to the side hall anyway, and a young man's voice came out: "Complain? You don't want this month's bonus."

Afterwards, a young man in a blue-colored long gown with side-to-side skirts came out, he lifted the skirt with his right hand, and stepped forward with his left foot when he crossed the threshold.

The moment the actor raised his head to reveal his full view, many women in the audience gave admiration. If General Arthur is a sharp knife, then the owner of the hot pot restaurant is a gentle ancient jade, a gentleman, full of oriental charm.

"In Xia Yelan, please move your distinguished guest to the side hall to discuss in detail."

"No need, the Federation issued an order to requisition the Earth, and the aborigines must evacuate within 72 hours. The notice was sent to your optical brain ten days ago, and you are the only one here who has not responded."

"It has been more than 2000 years since Ye's ancestor came here, and Huaxia Hot Pot has a history of [-] years in the ancient blue star. If you want me to give up, I will not obey."

Arthur was cold, with an arrogant expression of "so what": "In 71 hours and 49 minutes, the bomber fleet will arrive on time."

Ye Lan's expression froze.

The interstellar demolition is first blasted into slag, and then flattened and rebuilt, which is efficient and fast.

The arrival of the general broke the peace of the hotpot restaurant, and the rebel army that opposed the Federation also appeared, saying that no matter what the Federation did, we would fight against it, and asked Ye Lan to give up Hot pot restaurant, and join the rebel army.

Ulysses, the leader of the rebel army, has black armor and blue skin. He is not Asian at all. He has no hair and eyebrows, and has a golden metal crown like a fish fin on his head.He was very impressive on the stage, with a group of younger brothers and cool equipment, followed by Agatha in a maid outfit—it was the companion robot model IHYG76819.

He is ruthless, far-sighted, and has the aura of the godfather of the underworld. The battle of wits and courage with Ye Lan is wonderful.

"I haven't seen you in a few years. How is Little Leaf's business?"

The identity of the owner of the hot pot restaurant Ye Lan is not simple, he is a big force among the interstellar wanderers, otherwise General Arthur would not have come to warn him.The hot pot restaurant insists on using pure natural ingredients and processing them in ancient ways, which is very expensive. In order to maintain the operation of the hot pot restaurant, he has engaged in several smuggling businesses and had some contact with the rebel army.

In order to keep her ancestral hot pot restaurant, Ye Lan, determined to die, carefully designed a strategy. On the one hand, she set up a grand feast to hold Ulysses back, and on the other hand, she attracted interstellar pirates, causing the three parties to fight in a melee, trying to win a front line. vitality.

Film critics were divided in their reviews of the film.

Some people criticized it as "nondescript, sensational, and a collage of various elements".

Some people regard it as a masterpiece.

"Those who accuse the plot of being loose, really should reflect on whether their eyes are covered with shit! Although the various forces in the interstellar background are intricate, the entire film revolves around culture, and each force implies a different attitude towards culture: Federation The pursuit of unity aims to eliminate cultural inheritance; the interests of pirates are paramount and they take a contemptuous attitude; The era of change is looking for innovations and breakthroughs, trying to promote traditions and preserve culture. It is a pity that he failed.”

A film critic with a sharp and spicy writing style gave a five-star recommendation: "Food in the interstellar era can be synthesized by intelligent machines, and the 'hot pot restaurant' symbolizes traditions and cultures that are no longer practical. Ye Lan has worked hard to protect the culture. In the end, he gave his life. He is not a flat hero. He betrayed his friends and used his feelings for the sake of his goals. But in some places, I saw his greatness. He insisted on a road and died without regret. Quixote-like tragedy... The story is very instructive. At present, minority languages ​​and cultures are disappearing rapidly. The film is exploring real problems: Is it meaningful for us to spend a lot of money and resources to protect culture? How can we better Inherit human civilization?"

The way for ordinary viewers to express their love is much simpler, posting various comments on the Internet, expressing Amway to family and friends around them, and many others follow Huaguo Network.

"I don't see a deep meaning. I just think that each character, each one, is unconventional, with frequent reversals. Many plots have moved me. I like it very much!"

"General Arthur, do you like half-breed babies? Belarusian wives."

"Please whip me! MyQueen!"

"Dear Agatha, may I ask how to exchange federal coins and British pounds? I want to take you home. PS: It's not the assassin version."

Local fans: ? ?do not understand at all!How to break the base camp captured by fans from other countries?Waiting online is very urgent!

Because the film is not released simultaneously around the world - Yao Jingxing's lack of resources and connections is a flaw - the Internet is especially easy to produce resources, but this time Yao Chen and the agency company are keeping a close eye on it, reporting and cracking down on any pirated copies to minimize the impact.Therefore, domestic fans can only get information through the few official trailers and comments translated in various languages.

"Chen Gaojun is number one in the Federation! General Arthur's stills are exposed! (Reposted from the northern hemisphere)"

"Deciphering the origin of the title of Queen Sissi, owning a sky-high priced pirate spaceship, holding a long whip, sexy and deadly, and netizens licking their screens madly."

The topic of "Decisive Battle" has spread all over the major platforms.

“[SPOILER WARNING!!!] What is it about taking away the heroine with red makeup at 999 yuan? Zhuo Jiangxue plays Agatha of the Rebel Legion in "Decisive Battle", an assassin robot transformed from a companion robot—no Not to mention that the leader, Ulysses, is too talented. After all, who would guard against a mass-produced inflatable doll that sells for 999 yuan in federal currency? When she sneaked into the federation, she strayed into the robot factory, and the robots of the same model as her were laughing at each other. Walking into the destruction workshop, they thought they would go to 'paradise' to retire gloriously, but in fact they were destroyed. The 'recyclable' in the advertisement is really the greatest irony. Seeing the same kind of people who know nothing about them go to death, she still showed a sad look , she told Ye Lan that culture is a luxury for robots. In order to use her and induce her, Ye Lan also has inheritance of robots, which is to 'pursue an independent self' rather than 'loyalty and service'. Ulysses is just 'Using' her is no different from humans who see her as a tool for lust."

"Excuse me, what happened upstairs? Was the abduction successful? The spoiler sign was released but only half of it was released. Someone is doing something?!"

"It's the slag Yao Fan who did it."

"Scary! Scumbag Yao has brought scumbags to the fans!! Weak, pitiful and helpless but a little excited. jpg Begging for more spoilers!!"

“[SPOILER WARNING!!!] How did Zhong Xu x Scum Yao CP come about? Everyone knows that they have worked together in "Master of Deception", and the two of them also contributed excellent acting skills and tacit understanding in "Decisive Battle". Slag In order to hold back the leader of the rebel army Ulysses (Mr. Zhong), Ye Lan, played by Yao, hosted a banquet to entertain him on the grounds of the store celebration. At the Hongmen Banquet, Ye Lan performed the classic Sichuan opera aria "Empty City Strategies". After Zhuge Liang saw Sima Yi's soldiers retreat, The face turned from red to white, and then from white to blue. The audience only marveled at the magic of the face-changing technology. Only the knowledgeable Ulysses pointed out that the face-changing was to reflect emotional ups and downs and inner upheavals. Seeing Ye Lan's talent, Ulysses couldn't help but cherish his talent, and Ye Lan also introduced him as a confidant. Although the two cherish each other, they end up with different positions and become enemies. Ulysses sees through Ye Lan's He was so old and cunning that he decided to use all tricks, and Ye Lan was brutally betrayed in the end and fought Ulysses in a duel."

"So who won?"

"...Another scumbag, why am I not surprised at all. Ye Lan seems to have been killed by Ulysses, and her grief has flowed back and become a great aunt."

"Zha Yao can sing Sichuan opera? And change his face?! Isn't face changing a state secret? Please tell me this is a double! My idol can't be so omnipotent! Laugh and cry."

"In the left hemisphere, there are tidbits about Yao opening his voice and removing makeup. He is right."

"I want to report it! I beg the relevant departments to bring back the scumbag. State secrets can't be left outside, right? By the way, I'll urge the domestic review, thank you!"

"Same reminder +10086"

In short, "Decisive Battle" or "The Last Hot Pot Restaurant" became popular.After the release in Europe, it will be released in North America soon.

Qin Shounian's phone was about to explode.

An independent film with a domestic investment of 2000 million has swept the box office in Europe and America, but it has not been released in China...

Qin Shounian used to be so anxious that he had two packs of cigarettes a day, but now he is so busy that he has no time to buy cigarettes after smoking. , Qin Shounian was in pain and joy.

Qin Shounian and Yao Chen talked on the phone: "The domestic review committee has given two comments, and the third version has been revised by director Wu and sent. Due to the public opinion at home and abroad, this time should be able to pass."

Yao Chen acted as if a pregnant daughter-in-law was in charge of the house: "Hmph, I didn't want to change at all, let them take their opinions back."

"...You are enough." Boss, I still have to do well in China!A company relies on me to support it!

"Forget it, everyone is in their hands, so don't argue with them." At that time, he swallowed his anger, was it because they had hostages in their hands?

Qin Shounian heard someone calling "Brother Chen" stickily in the background. The other party must have done it on purpose, always showing his presence when he and Yao Chen were on the phone.

vinegar concentrate!

After hanging up the phone, Qin Single Dog Shou Nian returned to work, praying that Yao Chen would come back soon to help him share some of the pressure.

He never expected that when his top artist Lang returned to China, he would already be an international actor and married.