and the days of Apollo herding cattle

Enoch guessed Apollo's attitude from the very beginning. Apollo was very frank and never concealed himself. Enoch knew that if he asked, Apollo would tell him what he thought without reservation , but he has been evading.

Enoch never deliberately concealed his uneasiness, not only that, but he also drew a sense of security from Apollo many times.But he knew in his heart that this sense of security was actually mostly obtained by hypnotizing himself, and the reality was always cruel and ruthless.

The speculation in his heart became reality. While Enoch was lost, he seemed to put down a stone in his heart.

But the moment he heard the answer, there was an emotion more uncomfortable than relief and loss, probably because the body's self-protection mechanism was working, Enoch couldn't feel how uncomfortable he was , more because of the sluggishness of thinking that the information is too large and beyond the scope of calculation.

Was Apollo wrong?No, he is not wrong.Apollo's view of love is like this, he loves vigorously and gives everything, but his love is not limited to this one person, and he will never give all his love to just one person.

He is like this, Zeus is like this, the whole Olympus is like this, their love is sincere, but they never stop for a certain person.

But at the same time, Enoch knew that this was not the love he wanted.

It's not that no gods have expressed love to Enoch, and it's not that Enoch has never hesitated, but Enoch knows that he can't find the love he wants here.

Then forget it.

Since none of them are, forget it, I won’t look for it, and I don’t want it anymore.

Then, Enoch met Apollo.

It came a little too ferociously, a little too strongly, unable to restrain, unable to refuse, and Enoch fell into it.

Knowing that he would be hurt and separated, Enoch was still impulsive.

But as long as it is impulsive, there will be a moment of calmness.

Enoch didn't want to lie to himself anymore, didn't want to hypnotize himself anymore.

If you want not to get hurt, you can't solve the problem by blindly escaping. You have to become stronger and stronger.

Enoch rethinks his relationship with Apollo.

"Then I don't want it anymore." Enoch's mouth still had a little kindness, and his expression was very calm, as if he was asking Apollo what he wanted for breakfast.

"Huh?" Apollo didn't realize Enoch's endless words, "What did you say?"

"Apollo, if this is the case, I don't want your love, I don't even want you together."

Apollo was stunned, and after reacting, he flew into a rage: "Enoch, say it again?!"

"Apollo, listen carefully. The love I want is all you can give. If it is taken away by others, then I don't want it, and I don't even want you. It's the same no matter how many times I say it."

"Do you know what you're talking about? Who are you talking about?!" Apollo restrained his anger, he didn't understand!He didn't understand, it was fine just now, why didn't it suddenly? !What is "I don't want it anymore, I don't want you anymore, even your love, I don't want it all together"? !Is this what Enoch said?Is this what he said?

Apollo even wondered if today's weather was so hot that he had hallucinations and auditory hallucinations.

"Enoch, are you sober now? Do you know what you're talking about?" After a brief moment of anger, Apollo calmed down, and the storm in his blue eyes seemed to calm down again, but whether it was Apollo Even Enoch knew that this was just a palpitating illusion before a bigger storm came.

Enoch didn't say any more provocative words to Apollo, and rubbed his palm carefully on Apollo's face. He sighed softly: "Apollo, let's separate and calm down."

Apollo shook off his hand and sneered, "Enoch, think about it, my love is only once."

Apollo was threatening, Enoch heard, but he knew exactly what he was doing now.

I need to calm down, just give me calm down.thought Enoch.

Apollo is too existential, just like he can't reject him, as long as Apollo is by his side, he can't think about their relationship objectively, and can't figure out the way forward.

"Calm down first." Enoch still had the same attitude.

The two finally parted ways.

When Apollo's angry back disappeared from sight, Enoch's deflated body floated in the stream, with half of his face in the water, leaving only his nose and eyes above the water.

Actually Enoch knew, he knew.

As long as he doesn't think about it, as long as he doesn't ask, he and Apollo can continue to live a sweet and boring life.

But this doesn’t work. If you cover your eyes, even though you can’t see them, the things are there, and they won’t disappear.With your ears blocked, although you can't hear it, the sound is there, and it won't stop because of your refusal.Your mouth is closed, although you can't speak, but your doubts are there, and you will not stop your impulse because of your restraint.

Unless you smash your brain, dig out your heart, don't think, don't think, don't doubt, don't assume, but is that possible?

Enoch pretended to be deaf and dumb and turned a blind eye for too long, until his body had accumulated to the point of qualitative change. If he didn't release a little bit, his body would explode.

Apollo must be very confused now, must be very angry, he doesn't understand what Enoch is hypocritical, he doesn't know what kind of nerve Enoch is, and he doesn't understand why Enoch brought up this topic, and he can't agree with Enoch Why does Ke have to work hard for a future that might not exist.

Apollo doesn't understand Enoch, just as Enoch knows Apollo but doesn't understand him either.

Both sides have the idea of ​​never giving in and never giving in to the other side, and one side will always be hurt sooner or later.

Enoch also knew that with Apollo's arrogance and self-esteem, maybe the result of his calmness was that Apollo would not want him.

But even so, Enoch still hopes that he can have a calm time.

Enoch soaked in the water to cool off for a while, then got up, put on his clothes, carried the hoe, and took the dead snake.

The finger that still had a little moisture tapped on the snake's triangular head: "If it weren't for you, Apollo and I wouldn't come here to cool off, but we wouldn't make a fuss if we came here, so the key is still up to you. You eat it as compensation for me."

After walking two steps, Enoch thought about it again, and then said: "But because of you, I can finally say what I have hesitated for so long. I'd like to give you a little reward. I won't roast you, but stew it to make soup." gone."

In the end, Enoch even boasted about himself: "Ah, I am really a kind-hearted person~"

The dead snake could not speak, nor could it despise and spurn Enoch's shameless behavior. It could only be skinned, chopped into pieces, and eaten by Enoch quietly to comfort his hungry stomach.

Enoch doesn't seem to have any temper at all, and he treats most things very casually, but in fact, this kind of personality is the most troublesome.

It's not that he has no temper at all, but he doesn't waste his excess temper on things he doesn't care about, but focuses on a certain thing or a few things he cares about, casual and stubborn, so casual that people feel He is unprincipled and stubborn enough to give people a headache.

In a family of three, there will always be one side that has the upper hand in terms of numbers, either the father and the child, or the mother and the child. Anyway, the child is always a "neutral force" that both parties must strive for. Enoch's parents have fierce battles and front lines For a long time, he has long been used to the "me and dad (mother), which one do you prefer" dozens of times a day, both openly and secretly.

Once or twice is entanglement and fear, a hundred times or two hundred times, it is anxiety and sadness, a thousand times or two thousand times, it is numbness and impatience.

Enoch has completely turned into anger and irritability in the ten thousand or twenty thousand times of numbness.

I don't want anyone, I don't want anyone!

The family of three maintains a delicate balance. The father, the mother, and the child are three kingdoms, and no one joins the other, and no one depends on the other.

Abandoning is an attempt, an extremely addictive attempt, you don’t need to think about it too much, it’s just——I don’t want you anymore, the troubles you bring have nothing to do with me, whether you’re happy or sad, I don't want it anymore.

And the same goes for Apollo.

Tired, uncomfortable, exhausted, in pain...

Then just give up.

It's just... the decision to give up like this is not easy to make, and the process of giving up is a bit difficult.

The author has something to say:

Apollo is too proud, Enoch is too pessimistic, both of them have problems, the love that covers the eyes is beautiful, but covering the eyes does not mean that the problem will not exist, untie the cloth covering the eyes, Look carefully and think clearly, so that you can see what love really looks like... That's what I think.

There is another update at 12 o'clock.