[Net King] Take away my heart

In the depths of our hearts, love and loneliness are actually the same emotion, they go hand in hand and cannot be separated.The more alone we feel, the stronger our desire for love becomes. ——Anonymous

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"Yukimura-kun is so pitiful, don't you feel bored living in this kind of place all the time?"

One or two of the children who came to visit the doctor would always ask this kind of question with an innocent face.At first I really felt uncomfortable and didn't know how to answer them.But since I started to correspond with my sister in the country, the situation has completely changed.

"No, it's not boring at all." I replied with a smile.

Mom and Dad go to the country to visit my sister and grandma every year on their birthdays. Although that day is also my birthday, I can only stay in the ward alone and wait for them to come back because of my limited mobility.

The gentle nurse knew that it was my birthday, and she was worried that I would feel lonely by myself, so she always slipped over to look at me from time to time.

It's okay, in fact, I have many things to do, I told the nurse.Mom and Dad have already taken the letter I wrote and the greeting card I drew to the countryside, maybe my sister has already received it by now.

Because I have just entered elementary school, my sister and I can't write many words.When encountering characters that I can’t write, I use paintings instead. My sister seems to want to use paintings to express meaning, but she has never been very good at drawing.Once, my sister wanted to tell me that she saw tadpoles by the pond. Because she couldn't write the word "tadpole", she drew something like sesame seeds on the paper.I was a little confused when I received the letter, so I wrote back and asked, "What is that?" My sister seemed to be a little sad because of this, so she began to work very hard to learn to write.After a period of time, I found out that my sister can write a lot more than me. Even my parents praised my sister for her hard work. I think I have to work hard.

I spent most of the time in the ward studying and reading, and the only other leisure and entertainment was my drawing time.Because of my physical inconvenience, I couldn't go out of the ward to play like other children. I could only sit on the hospital bed and draw with crayons.

I drew a lot of imaginary sisters, long-haired, short-haired, and braided.Because I keep drawing, my sister's portrait has been stacked to the height of half a table.

"Why didn't Jingshi send these paintings to my sister?" the nurse asked curiously.

"Because... I'm not good enough at drawing."

Because I was just drawing my imaginary sister.I feel worried to some extent, what if my sister sees these paintings and says they don't look like me at all?

"That's not the case, I think Jingshi's paintings are great!"

After hearing what the nurse said, I smiled shyly.

I also want to know what my sister looks like in reality. I even thought about asking her to draw a self-portrait for me, but considering that my sister is not good at drawing, I finally gave up.When handing Dad the birthday card and envelope, I almost blurted out asking him to take a picture of my sister and bring it back to me.But I don't know why, the moment the words came to my mouth, I swallowed them back.

That's fine.It doesn’t matter if I don’t know what my sister looks like, because then I still have room for imagination, and I can continue to draw more sisters, until one day I actually meet her and find out——

This is the same sister as I imagined.

I will wait for such a surprise to come, and continue to paint my favorite paintings every day full of anticipation. With this kind of expectation, I decided not to ask my parents for pictures of my sister anymore.

My parents who came back from the countryside brought me a letter from my sister, and I happily took the envelope from my mother, not feeling at all unhappy about being left alone in the hospital.I can read every letter from my sister dozens of times over and over again, even if the content is very short, it doesn't matter, just knowing that it is a letter from my sister makes me happier than receiving any other gift.

"Jingshi really likes my sister." The nurse couldn't help laughing when she saw how happy I was.

"Well, I really want to celebrate my birthday with my sister."

The parents on the side showed a little relief, but also a little helplessness.

"Open the letter and see what Jiayin wrote?"

Mom and Dad seemed to know the inside story, and urged me to open my sister's letter.Because I wanted to taste this happiness slowly, instead of using it up immediately, I was full of excitement and anticipation, and opened the seal very carefully, as if I was afraid that the letter would be damaged if I was not careful.

Jingshi, I have a telephone installed at home, let's make a call.

The more beautiful the younger sister wrote, the delicate font appeared on the letter paper.

"Grandma's house has a phone installed, and Jiayin said that she will call my brother in the future." Dad said to me.

"That's great." Mom echoed from the side.

"Great...really great!"

This is simply the best birthday present ever.The good news is really my good news. When I think that I will be able to hear my sister's voice immediately, and I will be able to chat with my sister immediately, I am so happy.

"However, the coin-operated telephones in the hospital are installed in the corridor. Jingshi can't sneak out alone. When you want to make a call, just tell me and I will take you there." The nurse reminded her earnestly.

"Well! I see."

The corridor with the coin-operated telephone is a little far away from my ward, and it is unlikely that I would go there if I have nothing to do, but as long as I can make a phone call with Jiayin, this distance is not a big deal at all.

I refolded the letter and put it back in the envelope, like a hidden treasure, and put it in the drawer where all the letters from Good News were kept.

Looking at a bundle of colorful envelopes, I suddenly felt that I could have a very beautiful dream tonight.

I'm not alone, and that's after realizing there's another me in the world.

The color I like, the food I like, the little animals I like, Jiayin and I are constantly exchanging these small and insignificant secrets.But just writing that it's snowing here, I found a frog by the pond, or enclosing a letter with a leaf I picked up on the side of the road can make me jump for joy for a long time.

I have no friends. With the long-term hospitalization and the four seasons of reincarnation, I graduated from kindergarten in the hospital and became a primary school student in the hospital.One by one, the little friends grow up, leave, meet new faces, and then have to face the reality that they will eventually leave.

Jiayin is my younger sister and my only childhood friend.As long as she is there, as long as I can receive her letter, even if it is just a simple greeting, I can feel the strength and hope of being supported.

It is very important to me that I am not alone in this world.Mom and Dad are too busy with work, they have no time to care about things other than my treatment, I can't expect more love and care from them, because I have already divided most of the father's love and mother's love that Jiayin should have received.

Whether it's sickness, despair, or loneliness, I don't try to overcome these, I just accept everything plainly, because I know that there is always a precious pure land that will never be infected in the corner of my heart.That is the carefree paradise that belongs to my sister, me and my only friend. There is no pain, no despair, no loneliness, and there are only our innocent memories.

Jingshi, do you know that loach can be eaten?When grandma said that loach can be eaten, I was shocked.

Jingshi, I learned how to grow potatoes with my grandma. Although I got mud all over my body, I am so happy.

Jingshi, I caught a cold and had a fever. My grandma took me to the hospital for an injection. It was really painful.Do you feel this pain every day?

Jingshi, winter is almost over, spring is coming soon, and we will be one year older again.

Seichi, about the phone call...

I really want to hear your voice soon.

I didn't think about anything I wanted to say, but I just hoped that I could walk to the phone immediately, insert coins, pick up the receiver, and say good morning to you who are far away but seem to be by your side all the time.

I silently held the coins in the piggy bank in my hand, praying that that day would come as soon as possible.

Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up—

Bring this distant distance closer, closer, and closer.

The author has something to say:【→Girls look here, look here←】

Recently, due to some reasons that everyone knows~QAQ

For safety reasons, Toru has to slow down the update speed greatly~

What I can assure you is that the article will never be cheated ~ all the manuscripts are in hand ~

It's just that the update may become very slow from now on~

At least it will take a while to get back to normal~

During the period, Toru will probably open a new article ~ try to walk a variety of different styles ~

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