[Net King] Take away my heart

12:4 on the eve of December 16, XXXX

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Long time no see.

haven't seen you for a long time.

Today is less し伝えたいことがあってちールをしました.

Today I want to tell you something, so I wrote this email.

I like it.

I like you.

よかったら付き合ってもらえませんか?

Can you date me if you can?

Let's get back to it.

waiting for your reply.

それではアデュー

Goodbye then.

by Yagyu Hiroshi

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………………

………………

It is as peaceful as a sleeping face in a sound dream.

Naturally curving soft short hair, long and thin eyelashes, almost transparent white complexion, and orderly undulating breasts accompanied by faint breathing.

What I saw in that ward was completely different from the picture of the dead Ah Tu in my memory.There is no disgusting smell of blood, no stained floors, no cold cutting blades, everything is inorganic white, as pure as entering a sacred space where no one lives.

She just lay there.

It is definitely not death, but it is closer to death.

"you…………"

Who are you.

You are a person named Akiyama Yoshion, a classmate of Nioh Masaharu, a good friend of Miyake Reika, and Yukimura Seichi's twin sister.

In the cold early spring three years ago, you met a red-haired boy in your lost new school.

The boy said, my name is Marui Bunta, but in fact he is Nioh Masaharu.

Nioh Masaharu and Akiyama Jiayin have never been friends, because their acquaintance started with a lie, and everything that happened later was based on this lie.

In other words, everything is a constructed lie from the very beginning.

"Why not just die?"

Yes, it would be nice to die.

If you die, maybe everything can go back to normal.There are no secrets, no truths, no despair, just the unfeeling fact of death.

It's fine for me, Yukimura, Sanada, Yagyu... as long as we forget about the existence of Akiyama's good news, everyone can live a good life.

Nothing will change, everyone is just living to live as always.Regardless of whether there is sunshine or not, whether there is hope or not, whether there is a reason for existence or not, even if we live in the coldest and filthiest place like brainless ants, it is just the life we ​​have always been numb and blind.

Yes, everything is meaningless from the very beginning, and everything is lifeless from the very beginning.

"Obviously it's easier to die..."

I will not die, I will not end my life in a tedious and painful way, even if my life is empty or worthless.

But that still didn't stop me from imagining my own death countless times.

Whenever I walk on the road, whenever I look up at tall buildings, whenever I look at the cars passing by, whenever I smell the salty sea water in the distance, I always imagine that I am jumping from there, or It is Mo Yang who is flying to the front of the car, or sinking into the deep sea.

Whether to put it into action is often only a matter of thought.

If you put aside all thoughts, death is probably the simplest thing.I like to stand on high places, I like to shuttle in the traffic flow, I like to go to the deepest part of the platform.

I like every place that is closest to death. I like the feeling of being teetering on the edge of the platform, and the tram whizzing by, crushing everything in an instant.

That feeling always reminds me of Akiyama.

After Miyake's death, Akiyama has been standing in a fixed position.She ignored the warning and crossed the yellow line, and was pulled back to the platform by the station staff from the edge every time.

Akiyama must be like me, imagining the scene of death countless times.

But in the end, we didn't fall down that platform, but unconsciously returned to this reality crueler than death again and again.

I know that I will not die, just like I know that Akiyama will not die.

We are all creatures that are closest to death in this world, but unlike them who really exist in the dark death, we are tightly squeezed between black and white, and we cannot cross the line of light, nor can we come to darkness In this world, I can only struggle forever in the ambiguous gray gap, holding my throat and unable to breathe.

"go to hell……"

I slowly walked towards Qiushan who was lying on the hospital bed, as if I was walking towards the self who was waiting for the end.

I will not be saved.

No one will ever save me.

I'm used to drowning in the dark, and I even have the consciousness to spend my life like this.But Qiushan should not be the one who suffocated in the mud with me, the person lying there should be someone else, or it should be me.

Why is Akiyama lying there?

The same question also crossed my mind when Ah Tu died.

The gods plundered everything that I thought was beautiful, and everything that could symbolize light. The gods stomped me hard into purgatory, let me tear and roar, let me suffer and crawl, tortured me to despair, and then in despair let me see a gleam of light, and—

Smash it all before my eyes with ease.

Human beings are so ignorant and ridiculous, and I am such a human being.

I clearly understand how small and humble I am, I can't compete with the gods, I can't change everything back to the past, all I can do is end the suffering of the person in front of me.

Akiyama, I can't save you, I can't save Ah Tu, and I can't save Liu Sheng either.I can't save anyone in this world, because I can't even save myself.

Are you going to that place—

The place where Ah Tu fell asleep.

I clenched my fist tightly, the tremors spread from my fingertips to my whole body, and the sharp pain penetrated into the bottom of my heart, as if the emotions that had not completely exploded when I witnessed the tragic death of Ah Tu three years ago, spewed out uncontrollably at this moment out.

Akiyama shouldn't die, and neither should Atu. No one should be born to wait for death.

But even so, the gods still took these lights back to their side, converging into that distant and illusory rainbow, coaxing the sad and desolate people, making it dizzyingly beautiful and terrifyingly cruel.

Akiyama, there will be no more pain soon.

You don't have to struggle anymore, you don't have to wake up, you don't have to open your eyes to hear the truth.

You will never know who left the scars on your body, you will never know how that miserable scene happened, only if you never know all this, can you have a long dream there with peace of mind.

You are the light, you are as bright and pure as Atu, a light that I can't bear to touch.You will meet in that painless world, and you will turn into the gentlest rainbow. From then on, I will look up at that distant light in the world, miss you over and over again, and miss the last two that the gods took away from the earth. hope.

Do not be afraid.

There is nothing to worry about anymore.

—It was cloudy again.

--Um.

I am not qualified to stand with the light.

Put your hand on her oxygen mask and gaze into her face like never before.

Akiyama, when you pointed your camera at me that day, what did you see?

Is it a scary monster?Is it a fallen devil?Or an ordinary human being?

You may not know, but in my mind, you are an existence infinitely close to light, infinitely close to the sky, and infinitely close to pure white.

Even if you just put your hand here, there seems to be a sense of guilt that it is tarnishing you, and you want to move away immediately, and then stay away from you, so that you can continue to emit pure light.

Forgive me, Akiyama.

I will find you and Atu at the right time, whether it is sooner or later, no matter how the situation changes, we will see you again.

This time, let's start with an acquaintance that wasn't a lie.

—— King Ni.

We are not friends.Never was.

Obviously not a friend, but unconsciously watching her every move.His ecstatic expression on a cloudy day, his hair disheveled in the wind, his embarrassment when speaking.

did you ever call me by my nameEven if it's just once, if you call it, it will definitely be a feeling of new life.

No one knows me, no one sees me, people only see Nioh Masaharu playing "Nio Masaharu", not the real Nioh Masaharu.

Only you are different.

Akiyama.

Akiyama.

Good news from Akiyama.

good news...

Just this once, let me help you, let me protect you, let me finally think about what it's like to be a human being, a human being with feelings.

--Can't.

There was an empty voice floating in the empty room.

The movement stopped, and an invisible force froze me there.

Is there anyone calling me?

The voice was so far away, yet so familiar.

Is that you, Atu?

I bowed my head, she was still immersed in a deep sleep ignorant of her surroundings, dreaming a child's dream that I couldn't see, perhaps a beautiful and innocent one.

I really want to see what kind of dreams you are having.

Sadness came without warning, and I could hardly suppress the strong bitterness welling up in my throat, and my hand involuntarily pulled away from the oxygen mask.

Business as usual.

The person named Qiushan Jiayin is still alive, as if she was just a princess in a fairy tale who fell into a long sleep after being cursed by a witch.

But I won't be the prince who kisses the princess awake.

Back, back, and back.

I always wear my mask, and I still have to wear it until this moment.I can be a ghost, I can be a monster, I can be a traveler, I can be a lie, I can be nothing.

It's time to disappear.

But there was one more unfinished business.

I walked out of the ward without keeping my eyes on the place where I said goodbye to her for the last time.I walked straight to the corridor, reached into my pants pocket, and touched the cold case of my phone.

Billy, let's meet up.

I'm writing this on my phone where I have that email.

The author has something to say: I thought it would be better not to say anything in this chapter, but I have an OCD attack and I want to write something, so I can’t get entangled and entangled, and finally produced this nonsense ←

The next chapter is the final chapter from Nioh's perspective soaked in Toru's blood and tears!

I hold back what I want to say for the time being, and plan to save it for the next chapter to burst out (laughs) so see you soon~