[Net King] Take away my heart

Good news, let's make a promise.

I won't like you, and I won't like anyone in this world.

Never, never will.

Ok.

I will not like Jingshi, nor anyone in this world.

Never, never will.

Make an appointment.

promised.

Never go back on your word.

…………

Na.

I have always kept that promise well.

...and until this moment.

…………

.........

……

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I was raised by my grandma in the country.

I have no father, no mother, no brother, have never been to a big city, have never seen a building with more than five floors, and will dance for a long time with excitement even seeing a computer.

But my childhood was not gloomy because of this. My grandma loved me very much. She taught me many principles of life, taught me to be strong, kind, and tolerant.

I like the muddy paths in the country, the rows of wooden bungalows, and the green fields as soon as I step out of the house.The air is so fresh that it feels like rebirth, some birds can sing, some springs are tinkling, and the sky stretches out to the infinite beyond with a dazzling blue color.

Grandpa died of illness when grandma was very young, so grandma alone took care of everything from sewing and mending to livelihood and farm work.

Good news, let's go pick tomatoes.

Good news, let's go catch loach.

Whenever I hear my grandma calling at the door, I will happily put down everything at hand, take grandma's hand and go to the field with her.

I was too young to help grandma with a lot of farm work.When grandma was harvesting in the field with sweat, I was the only one who was digging loaches on the ground with a small bucket and yelled at grandma: "Grandma, grandma! Look! I caught another one!"

Grandma not only doesn't think I'm annoying, but always smiles and gives me a thumbs up.

I was bullied by other kids at school because my parents were not around.I went home crying and told my grandmother that someone scolded me as an unwanted child, but my grandmother carried me on her shoulders without saying a word, ran to the house of the child who scolded me, and beat him up in front of his parents. I trained hard.

I am grandma's daughter, and my favorite person in this world is grandma.

I don't resent my parents, I know that the sick Jingshi is very pitiful.Every year when I celebrate my birthday, my parents will take a day to come to the countryside to see me and grandma. Because Jingshi couldn't bear the exhaustion of running around, he could only stay in the hospital by himself that day.

Mom and Dad always buy me a lot of toys and delicious food, and every time there are new gadgets that I have never seen before.The day after Mom and Dad left, I would take these gifts bought from the big city and run to school to distribute to everyone.

"Jiayin's parents are so nice!" "I really envy Jiayin, I also want to have parents in big cities!" "Will Jiayin go to big cities in the future?"

The children in the country are very simple, and I am also very simple.Although I am very happy to be envied by everyone, I still feel a little lost.My parents often only allocate one day to me, and even though that is the most important day, they spend the remaining 364 days with Jingshi.

I like the country, and I like grandma, but like everyone else, I also dream of seeing what the big city looks like.I hope mom and dad can stay with me more. Every time before they leave, I will show a crying expression. At this time, my mother will hug me and tell me, Jiayin is a sensible and good boy, don’t be angry with us, It's not that Mom and Dad don't like good news, Mom and Dad are just too tired...

Then they would drive away with sad looks on their faces.And I began to wait for the next birthday.

I never thought of myself as a child abandoned by my parents, I knew they cared about me, otherwise they wouldn't have left Jingshi alone in the hospital, bought a gift and came to see me.

Even if there is only one day in a year, I am happy.It is very happy to be able to get together with mom and dad. The deserted room that used to be just me and grandma will become extraordinarily lively on that day.

Dad will hug me, and mom will hug me, and I feel like I am the happiest child that day.

However, happiness is short-lived. Once my parents leave, it means that I have to start counting on my fingers for 364 days before I can be a happy child again.

How can I stay with my parents?How can I make my parents stay behind?

I always sit by the window with my chin resting on my back, thinking about these issues half-in a daze and half-absorbed.

Finally, when I was in the fifth grade of elementary school, my parents brought back the good news that Jingshi's body was about to recover.

Jingshi's illness is cured, which means that his parents don't have to take care of him in the hospital every day.Mom and Dad can have more time and energy to work and earn money, and Jingshi can also go back to school to attend classes-my dream is finally coming true.

On the eve of my sixth grade graduation, my parents decided to take me back to Kanagawa to raise me.

Grandma said nothing, she neither protested nor accepted.Just like when my parents sent me to the country, my grandma just silently did what she should do.

Accept me silently, raise me silently, and send me away silently.

The night before I went to Kanagawa, I climbed into my grandma's bed, put my arms around her neck and said to her, "I will never forget grandma, I am grandma's daughter."

Grandma cried. She touched my face with her wrinkled hands and kissed my forehead.

I left my grandmother and friends who had been with me since I was a child, and followed my parents to a strange big city.

New home, new school, new environment, brand new everything.

Mom and Dad are very kind to me, Jingshi is also very kind to me, and everyone is very kind to me.They will kindly tell me what to do where I am not used to it or adapt to it. Even if I do something wrong, they will never get angry. They are gentle and good people.

But sometimes I have an illusion that they are all too kind to me, polite and gentle, as if they are treating a guest carefully, not their relatives.

Grandma is also very good to me, but when I do something wrong, she will definitely point it out and let me correct it.She would scold me when I was rude, she would scold me if I ate the fruit grown by my neighbor, and I would be scolded if I didn't do my homework well... But my parents never scolded me.

My mother always praised me as an obedient and good boy. I was very quiet and rarely spoke. I would do whatever they asked me to do. I never offered to ask for what I wanted.In fact, when I was naughty and mischievous in the country, I also quarreled with the children in the country. My parents just didn’t get along with me too much, so they thought I was always such a good boy.

In fact, I really want to be a good kid in front of my parents.I don't know how to make them like me more, I don't know how to please my parents, so I can only stay there quietly, try not to cause trouble for them, and try not to let them think that I am an eyesore. .

There is a very old wooden cabinet in the living room of the new home. On the wooden cabinet is the tablet of the deceased grandfather, and there is also a Buddhist altar in front of the tablet.Every day before going out, Mom and Dad would go to the memorial tablet to pay respects to Grandpa, and light two sticks of incense for him before going to work.

Grandpa passed away before Jingshi and I were born, and grandma's photo is also displayed at my grandma's house in the countryside.But grandma will not light incense for him every day, but will talk to herself in front of the photo when she is tired.

It was a weekend evening, my parents hadn't come home from get off work yet, Jingshi was doing homework in the room, and I was looking for a photo album in the living room.

The girls in the class said that they would mobilize everyone to write a classmate book together, and asked us to bring our photos to school so that they could be posted in the classmate book.I seldom take pictures. When I was in the country, only my parents would bring a camera when they came to see me, so my photos should only be available to my parents.

I have searched everywhere in the living room, but I still can't find anything. The only thing I haven't found is the wooden cabinet with my grandfather's tablet.

There is a row of drawers above Grandpa's memorial tablet. I walked over and tried to stand on tiptoe, thinking that with my height, I should be able to reach those drawers.Unexpectedly, I stretched out my arms and tossed twice in the air, but I still couldn't reach it.Reluctantly, I moved my body closer to the wooden cabinet, and tried to open the drawer again.I finally reached the handle of the drawer with all my strength, but when I was about to pull it open, I suddenly felt a little strange.

I looked down and saw that the clothes under my chest had been burnt with a small hole by the incense stuck in the Buddhist altar. I was startled and tried to get out of the way, but unexpectedly I lost my balance because of the panic and pulled out the whole drawer. When he came out, he fell to the ground on his back.

Hearing the loud noise coming from the living room, Jingshi immediately ran out of the room.

"Good news! Are you okay?"

After hearing the sound, Jingshi rushed over and helped me up from the ground.Before Gu Shang had time to say thank you, I just got up from the ground and was petrified by the scene in front of me.

The things in the drawer were spilled all over the floor, grandpa's tablet and Buddhist altar were overturned, and the tablet fell to the ground and broke in two.

I got into trouble!

Just when I was in a daze with fright, there was the sound of my father unlocking the door when he came home from get off work.The moment Dad opened the door and came in, Jingshi quickly picked up Grandpa's tablet and hid it behind him, then blocked me with his body.

That was the first time I saw Dad lose his temper for real.

The mother who came back from get off work cleaned up the living room, and then put the drawers and the Buddhist altar back to their original places, but only Grandpa's memorial tablet was empty.Dad's face was as dark as the end of the world, and he stared at Jingshi and me without saying a word.

"Who did it?" He asked seriously after a while.

I was terrified and cried all the time.Dad never lost his temper with me, and I was so scared that if they knew I did it, they would be mad at me and send me back to the country.

I don't want to be hated by my parents, I don't want to be sent back to the countryside, what if my parents don't want me because of this?The more I thought about it, the more scared I became, and the more I thought about it, the more I cried.

Jingshi has been silent, and he and I know how disrespectful it is to destroy Grandpa's tablet.This memorial tablet has been placed here for many years, and it is a kind of yearning and sustenance of my parents for the deceased grandfather, but I actually broke such an important thing.

"Who is it?"

When Dad asked for the second time, his voice was obviously much scarier than the first time.

I dare not admit that I did it, I just lowered my head and kept sobbing, imagining the situation when my parents threw me out of the house, imagining the consequences of never seeing my parents again.

"it's me."

Jingshi beside him said in a moderate voice.

He calmly took out the broken tablet from behind and handed it to Dad.

"I knocked it over. I was looking for something in the drawer, and accidentally knocked over the tablet and the Buddhist altar."

I looked at Jingshi who stood up and took the blame for me in surprise, and forgot to cry for a while.

The father who took the tablet sighed heavily, then he put down the tablet and raised his hand to Jingshi.When the slap was about to fall, I, who was supposed to stop Dad, didn't even dare to move.

At that moment, I realized how despicable and cowardly a person I was, not only let Jingshi take the blame for me, but also let him be beaten for me.And I just stood and watched, didn't say anything, didn't do anything, just put the blame on him.

There is no one worse than me.

"Husband! Don't do this, don't hit the child..."

The last person to stop Dad is Mom.Mom said that if the tablet is broken, you can repair it, and if it can’t be repaired, you can make another one. She said that grandpa definitely doesn’t want us to be beaten because of the tablet, so she insisted on persuading Dad.

That tablet was never repaired.

I sat in my room, looking at the photo albums on the desk.The album is almost full of photos of Jingshi and his parents. Jingshi has the most photos. From childhood to adulthood, from kindergarten to junior high school, it is full of his growth trajectory.

There is only one photo in the album that is mine.

That's what I looked like when I was just born, a healthy baby who was white and fat in the swaddle.However, right next to this baby, there was another thin baby who didn't look very energetic.

Turn the photo over, and the writing on the back reads: Jingshi and Jiayin, lovely twins.

Pat, a tear fell on the photo album.Pat, another tear fell on the photo album.

The author has something to say: Girls~!This is Toru who was forcibly revived from a rest (laughs)

Seeing that I can escape alive to meet everyone in the final stage of 2013, it’s great ← poof

Although it is an unplanned resurrection, at least I will persist until after Christmas~

The update during this period will be relatively stable ~ but because I was caught to fill in the list in the middle of the break...

After filling it out, I will still take the rest back~ XDDDD

I will let you know about this specific plan later~

Starting from this chapter is the journey to open the [Gate of Memory], and it will be even heavier after entering the second half~

But~ In order to adjust your mood for everyone, Toru will send a well-prepared Christmas gift in the future~ XDD

The content of the Christmas gift will appear in the next chapter as a [big notice] XDDD

Then~ Please look forward to it!