Two or three things about having a crush on Mr. Dazai

I didn't think about anything at the moment when my body was suspended in the air.

No, not right.

The thought that flashed through my mind was: I not only pushed the suicide jumper back, but also made her say "I don't want to die", this task is definitely overfulfilled!

Three cups of vanilla milkshakes are perfect!

However, Heizi might not think so. He rushed to the railing and looked down. He was looking at me who was hanging outside while holding the bottom railing with one hand.

Heizi shouted loudly, "Give me the other hand!!"

There was also a voice from the roof platform: "Save people! Save people quickly! He didn't fall!!!"

Then a group of people leaned over the railing and watched nervously.

This scene strikes me as ridiculous.

Naturally, I will not die. I have the supernatural ability "nothingness" to dematerialize myself. In the past, many underworld organizations racked their brains and tried their best to kill me, but I couldn't die, let alone fall from a building.

...and it hasn't fallen yet.

The honest man and Heizi reached out to me together, and many people on the top of the building reached out to me.Arms of various colors stuck out of the railing, trying to grab me and pull me back up.

In such a situation where everyone is watching, there is no way to use nothingness to save some effort.

Looking down, there is a deep distance, and the people on the ground are as small as ants. The streets of Tokyo are endless and winding, and the scenery is similar to Yokohama.

I raised my head and said, "Heizi, calm down, tell the people above to get out of the way."

Heizi turned his head and shouted, "Everyone, please step aside!"

The crowd seemed to have never heard of it, and said anxiously:

"Pull him up quickly!"

"Why are you still standing there?!"

"Hurry up, he won't be able to hold on anymore!"

Kuroko:"……"

I:"……"

The sunspots were completely ignored.

It was the same simple and honest man who blushed and yelled loudly in his dantian angrily: "Every-get out of the way!" Only then did the crowded and yelling crowd disperse.

Hanging myself with one arm, I confirmed to Heizi, "Have everyone dispersed?"

Heizi: "It's spread out, come up quickly!"

He saw that I was able to do things with ease, and he was calmer than before, but he was still very anxious.

I grabbed the railing with my right hand, pulled up with one hand, and clasped my left hand into Heizi's palm.

"Hurry up-"

The moment my palms were clasped, I kicked my feet hard against the wall, and with the reaction force and Heizi's pull, I easily climbed over the railing and returned to the platform.

When I landed, in order to relieve the momentum, I rolled on the ground with my head in my hands, and finally knelt on one knee to stabilize my body.

When I stood up, I saw a whole circle of stunned people.

A wrinkled old woman, a little boy who can play taekwondo, a kind but stupid man, other residents who rushed to the roof after hearing the sound, as well as firefighters and security guards...

They watched me turn back to the roof from outside the railing neatly, my mouth opened into an "O" shape, no one spoke, and the roof was so silent that you could hear the drop of a needle, as if it was frozen.

then--

"Great!!!"

"It's all right! Nothing happened to anyone!!"

"Look at this skill that is sharper than a special soldier! The young man is excellent!!"

"Good-natured and resourceful, alas!"

"Except for that tragic love is simply perfect!"

The crowd cheered, and I was a little dizzy from being bombarded with vehement praise.

Heizi's voice was drowned out in the crowd: "Takeshita-kun, the wound on your arm seems to have opened again..."

I didn't roll up my sleeves to check the bandages, but according to the strength and tingling of my arm just now, the wound should have split open and not gone away.

The crowd suddenly parted and let out the young woman who was blocked behind.For the rest of her life, her complexion was not very good, but after the firefighters persuaded her, there was a light of hope called "Sheng" in her eyes again.

The woman's tears were still on her face, and she looked complicated when she saw me.

"You just said..."

"Every sentence is true, there is no fabrication." I said.

"I don't mean to doubt..." The woman limped in front of me, "I just decided, let go of the past and start over. Break up as soon as you break up. A scumbag who loves the new and dislikes the old is not worthy of me. Then... What about you? ?”

Me: "Huh?"

The woman's voice gradually became louder: "...the one who abandoned you! You know that he treats you so badly, so why do you still love him? Why can't you forget him?"

The crowd who were still noisy just now fell silent again in an instant, and their eyes focused on me.

I said: "...If you love him, you love him. There are not so many reasons. He deserves my love for him."

The woman held my arm excitedly: "This is no reason!..."

She still wanted to say something, but I looked at the hand she was holding and frowned.

After the wound ruptured, the blood was absorbed by the bandage so that it would not ooze out, but the woman happened to be scratching the wound, and the sleeves were faintly red.

She followed my line of sight, her expression froze, and she let go of her hand in a panic: "I-I'm so sorry...are you injured?"

The firefighters and security guards behind her looked at me hesitantly, as if they had something to say.

But I don't want to be credited with any credit by them, I just want to honor the mission reward of three cups of vanilla milkshakes.

Before they came over, I quickly turned back to look for Heizi Tetsuya from the crowd - but I couldn't find it after looking at it for several times, so I could only shout, "Heizi, I'm going first, I'll wait for you at the place just now!"

Woman: "Wait, savior! Can you leave your contact information!"

Me: "No need!"

Woman: "If you don't give it to me, go jump off the building again!"

I:"……"

Onlookers: "..."

"...Bring the pen and paper."

I scribbled down my private cell phone number, and ran away without even writing my name.

Don't ask me why I run so fast, I sincerely don't want my name and address to be picked up, and a banner saying "Caring Citizens, Heroes Who Save Lives" will be sent to the Hong Kong gangster office.

……

too frightening.

unimaginable.

Hong Kong black people will be crazy.

M in mind.

At the request of Heizi, I had to re-medicate the left arm scratched by the bullet and change a new bandage.

I watched Hei Zizhe standing in front of the counter waiter, but the waiter looked around in a daze and shouted "The next customer—" and didn't react until Hei Zi pulled the other's clothes.

It was the first time I saw a person with such a low sense of existence, as if they were out of tune with the whole world, and even ordinary life was quite difficult.

Heizi seemed to be used to it, and returned to his seat with two cups of vanilla milkshakes, and inserted a straw: "Here, Takeshita-kun's."

I asked dissatisfiedly: "Didn't you say three cups?"

Heizi took a breath calmly: "Pay it in three installments, one cup at a time."

I took a breath depressingly: "Hey, brother, there are no such rules in the underworld."

Heizi: "But one cup at a time is the most delicious choice."

Me: "Okay, the underworld makes an exception for vanilla milkshakes."

"Takeshita-kun's skill is really good." Heizi's face was slumped, "I was scared on the top of the building and my heart was pounding."

"Oh? I can't see it."

"Next time... even if it's my commission, please don't take such a risky way to complete it." Heizi said seriously.

I held the straw in my mouth: "You think that's dangerous?"

"Yes."

"Actually no. Even if I do fall, there won't be any danger. It doesn't matter if it's a much taller building or a cliff. I've jumped over it more than once."

"Speaking with such a natural expression is completely beyond my comprehension..." Heizi complained, "but for me as an ordinary person, these are extremely dangerous actions."

"Don't worry, I still cherish life very much."

"I can't see it." Heizi complained x2.

"is it?"

"Well, at the top, Takeshita-kun's acting skills of wanting to die were so realistic that I almost believed it was real." Tucao × 3.

however……

"It's not acting, it's my personal experience."

I swung my drink glass.

Heizi was silent for a moment.

"Sorry, I didn't expect Takeshita-kun to have such a past."

"It's okay, you don't need to apologize. It's just my business."

There was a slight apology in Kuroko Tetsuya's expression, but not much sympathy, which made me feel at ease.

He's a good friend, I think.

"By the way, I still have some doubts about what you said above, and I don't know if Takeshita-kun can explain it."

"Speak straight."

"With all due respect, why is Mr. Takeshita so obsessed with that gentleman? From what you said, he doesn't like you, and he doesn't take your life seriously."

Heizi asked straightforwardly.

He may have figured out that I am happy to answer all questions related to Mr. Dazai, so he is not afraid of offending me.

"It's a long story," I recalled.

The feeling of falling in love with Mr. Dazai is like jumping into a bottomless black hole. That kind of quiet, unresponsive despair can't see the bottom or end.

It's like moths jumping into a flame, burning themselves up desperately, and may not get a pitiful sigh.

However, there is a silver lining in everything.

"To put it simply, the reason why I can persist is because Mr. Dazai has always expected me to be better while rejecting me."

I took out an old-style mobile phone from my pocket - Zhongyuan's personal mobile phone was very expensive two years ago, but it is a bit out of date now.

"listen."

I hit play.

"If Takeshita-kun is still alive, please play this to him even in trouble~"

"A good boy knows how to be patient."

"When I'm not here, I have to learn to grow up by myself."

"Take care of yourself, Qiu."

The warm and magnetic male voice slowly flows out from the phone, with a bit of sound quality unique to recording.

The last chuckle was as gentle as a whisper between lovers, tickling people like a small brush.

"How is it? Mr. Dazai's message to me."

I'm not proud or showing off, I just show my new friends how nice Mr. Dazai's voice is.

Heizi: "It's far from the cold impression I got from Takeshita-kun's words, it sounds very..."

"Very?"

"passionate."

"..."

"Ah, don't be angry, I didn't mean to belittle."

Oh, of course I do.

"I know, Dazai-san is waiting for me to grow up."

"And I... am also looking forward to his change."

"It's an omen. You know, Kuroko? It's an omen. Mr. Dazai has never spoken to me like this before!"

"Wait, didn't you say that Mr. Dazai didn't leave any contact information when he disappeared?" Heizi asked.

"Yes." I said melancholy, "After I attempted suicide, he conveyed it to me through someone else's hand."

Heizi was stunned: "...suicide attempt."

"That was the last time, and it never happened again."

I smiled and said, "Mr. Dazai told me to take good care of myself, how could I not cherish my life?"

Heizi hit the nail on the head: "So you still cherish life because of what that gentleman said?"

This question is a bit harsh.

I had to think for a while before denying him: "Not exactly. I don't kill myself anymore because I understand that if I die, no one in the world will love him more than me."

Heizi nodded half-understanding.

"Ah, so it is."

In a M diary in Tokyo, two [-]- and [-]-year-olds were drinking vanilla milkshakes, talking about life, death and love under the warm lights, amidst the smell of hamburgers and French fries.

"You asked me just now why I love Mr. Dazai so persistently."

"Obviously I have never been favored by him, and my love is obviously much more painful than that of a lady who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building. Why do I still persist like this?"

"I used to regard all the emotions he bestowed on me as gifts, including grievances, anger, and pain, and they all became part of my love for him. Now that I think about it, I am really young and ignorant."

"And now that I figure it out, I know that being a crush is pretty miserable."

"I'm not that magnanimous, and I'll be wronged, sad and jealous. When I'm unhappy, I don't love him that much, and I love him a little less than usual, a little less than a micron .”

"I know that I am different from others: I have a deformed relationship with him. He does not accept me because I treat him like a god, not an ordinary person who communicates on an equal footing."

"In the past, I loved him purely and stubbornly, and I didn't give up even if I was rejected countless times. Now I don't give up because I am waiting for the day when I meet him again."

Hei Zizhe also looked at me with piercing eyes.

"When that day comes, I want to tell him that I have learned to be patient and I have taken good care of myself."

"I want to tell him personally—"

Mr. Dazai, your Aki has grown up.

The world is bustling, and the stars are moving.

He disappeared in my world for two full years, and it was during these two years that I really stayed in the world.

In the past two years, many things have changed, and many ideas have also changed.

I no longer crawl like a dog or a spirit.

I want to look at Mr. Dazai with human dignity and love.

The author has something to say: Prepare to meet!