The accident in my life is only you

But not long after school started, he still received a message from Liu Shu.

At night, I was working on the design homework left by the teacher during the day in the computer room of the school. The button in the lower right corner flashed and made two beeps.

I moved the mouse to the lower right corner of the computer, and it suddenly showed Liu Shu's profile picture.

My heartbeat sped up for no apparent reason, and then slowly returned to normal.

It's ridiculous to say that after so many years, it's not like I haven't had close contact with her, but every time I face her, I'm still a little nervous.

I looked at the beating head, took a deep breath, double-clicked the mouse to open it pretending to be calm.

Liu Shu's dialog box popped up quickly, and there were only five words in the dialog box: Yingying, are you there?

These few words typed by her own hands seemed to have extraordinary magic power, and soon caused ripples in my heart, shallowly, rippling.

I quickly replied to her with the word "in" in the dialog box. After the word was sent out, I pretended to stare at the dialog box as if nothing had happened, waiting for what she would say next, but in fact, there was a layer of pain in my heart. Shallow expectations.

I thought she would at least apologize to me for what happened last time, or say some warm words, but then only a few shallow words jumped out of the dialog box.

: Is school busy?

Seeing that she just asked such a simple sentence, I was inexplicably disappointed.

Then, a wry smile appeared on the corner of my mouth, and I laughed at the sense of loss that had nowhere to rest in my heart, and laughed at how ridiculous it was, lying behind expectations, crushed to pieces by the sudden reality.

Just when I was about to type a few perfunctory words, Liu Shu sent another greeting: how are you doing recently, how are you doing?

Although it was only a few texts, I could see her compromise to me from her texts. Well, I admit that her words of care and concern swallowed up some of the sense of loss in my heart just now. up.

I smiled helplessly, laughing that my emotions would still be influenced by her, and I even had ups and downs uncontrollably.

Humans are really strange creatures. They felt that they were riddled with wounds just a moment ago, but when they heard her say a few warm words, they felt that the pain had faded away, and it was slowly hidden behind love. , becomes trivial.

I obviously resisted contacting her by myself, but deep down I hoped that she could send me more content. In such a contradiction, I deleted and deleted the words in the dialog box, and finally cooperated with her question to give She replied with a few simple words: Fortunately, the school is not very busy.

After thinking about it, I followed the little desire in my heart and typed another line: Then where are you now?

A line of words was quickly replied over there: Doing odd jobs in a relative's company, in Chenzhou.

The Chenzhou she mentioned is at least six hours away from Jiangcheng by bus. For me, it is a relatively long distance, but she really went to a far away place, and she will never appear in front of me again. After finally tidying up my mood, it was once again shattered.

I looked at the last line lying in the dialog box, and didn't know what to continue talking with her. I restrained myself from asking more questions, and finally left a single word in the dialog box, um.

This time, I finally pressed our chat to death. Liu Shu's dialog box didn't jump into other content for a long time, so long that I thought she had gone offline.

I looked at the dialog box that did not jump into the text again, and my heart was mixed with loss and happiness.

Lost, she eventually faded away those concerns about me bit by bit, and was no longer the Liu Shu who only had me in her eyes.

Fortunately, I finally restrained the obsession in my heart, and didn't do anything more humble just because I wanted to get close to her.

Just when I was about to close the dialog box, a line of words jumped into it again. This line of words completely broke the calm lake that I barely maintained in my heart.

: I broke up with Aning.

Looking at this sentence, I didn't feel any pleasure in my heart, and even calmly without too many waves.

I always thought that if Ah Ning and Liu Shu broke up one day, I, as a special "third party" in their relationship, would definitely stand at the top, laugh at their sadness and pain, and let them feel what I used to be pain.

But when I actually heard the news, it seemed like a natural result, without much surprise.

: Why did you break up?Haven't you guys always had a good relationship?

I typed this well-informed question into the dialog box, but in fact their breakup was always in my expectation, but I didn't expect that their relationship would disintegrate in such a short period of time.

And I deeply understand that this thorn of mine has been stuck in Aning's heart from the very beginning, and it will become the introduction of all disharmony, intensify all contradictions, and finally tear the emotional rift that they did not match. .

After a while, a paragraph of Liu Shu's reply popped up in the dialog box, the content of which was almost the same as my guess.

: We have cracks from the beginning, we can never heal perfectly, just like you used to always suspect that I like her more, she can also suspect that I like you more, with this doubt, nothing will last long.

Yes, I have always known, what I mind, is also what Ah Ning has always minded.

So I half-jokingly entered another question: What are the reasons you usually quarrel, and will you quarrel because of me?

After a long time, a paragraph finally popped up in the dialog box, perhaps it was the answer she had considered for a long time.

: It may be that I have long been used to your way of doing things. I always want to compare her with you. She is not the same as you at all.

Looking at this line of words, I still didn't know what to say, but soon another line of words appeared in the dialog box.

: If, at the beginning, we could be together, how wonderful it would be.

Yes, at the beginning, if we were all brave, maybe everything would be different.

She left too early.

And it was too late for me.

: But, there is no if.

I quickly replied Liu Shu with these six words, paused, and replied again: Where were you when I went back to find you, and where were you when I needed you?

I thought that Liu Shu would feel the helplessness and sadness in my heart, and would comfort me like he did before.

But I didn't expect that the words that jumped out of the dialog box turned the sadness in my heart into a deeper sword, piercing the bottom of my heart.

: Could it be that you are the only one who is sad?What were you doing during those days when I was waiting so hard, and what did you do to me when I couldn't wait for a response!

It turned out that she also hated me.

I always thought that Liu Shuding understood the times when I rejected her, the deeply suppressed sadness in my heart, and the struggling love, but she didn't know that she had always resented me so much for her. cruel.

Today, she finally poured out the resentment in her heart to me, resenting me for pushing her who was hopeless at that time into the abyss.

There was a desolation in my heart, seeping out from my fingers, endowing them on the words, and quickly replying to Liu Shu on the opposite side.

: Maybe, we are not suitable to be together at all, even if we were reluctantly together at the beginning, maybe it will end like this in the end.

And Liu Shu quickly typed out the text of the reply: We have never been together, how do you know that we are not suitable for being together.

Just as I was looking at this sentence and thinking about how to reply to her, she typed three sentences one after another in the dialog box, with anger suppressed between the lines.

: Do you mind about Aning so much?You don't even have friends with me now, do you?How did I get to her in the first place?

:right!We can't be friends at all, even lovers can't be, so what kind of friends are we!

: You said at the beginning that you would have a long-lasting friendship with me, but in the end, it’s not that you can’t be friends, so fuck your friends!

I thought our connection this time could escape the quarrel, at least I restrained myself from complaining about the past that had passed away, but we still came here after going around in language, and still kept the only remaining love Willing to tear it to pieces.

The disappointment and sadness in my heart surged more and more, and I could no longer suppress my restraint, so I replied to her with a frosty sentence.

: We really can't be friends!

Liu Shu's reply pushed the communication to a freezing point again.

: Okay, that's what you said, so from today onwards, let's stop contacting and see if this is the best ending you said!

I didn't reply any more, but quickly closed the dialog box, saved the design documents in the computer, forced the host computer to shut down and went offline, and left the computer room with my own materials.

Then in the corridor outside the computer room, in a fit of anger, he directly deleted Liu Shu's phone number.

It was almost March, and the wind at night was no longer as cold as winter, and even the wind blowing from the bustling market in the distance carried a hint of warmth.

I walked on the way back to the dormitory, facing the cool wind, and was once again annoyed by my dispute with Liu Shu at night.

Obviously I don't want to argue with her, and I have persuaded myself to try to let go of the past, but I still can't stand the crazily growing complaints in my heart, and I want Liu Shu to say something to comfort me.

What I have to admit is that, maybe, these subconscious actions of mine are just knowing that Liu Shu, she is no longer the Liu Shu who has me in her heart, and my weight in her heart has long since changed with time. Passed by, there is not much left.

And we really didn't contact each other for nearly a whole semester, and it wasn't until these two times of getting drunk that the stubborn picture between each other was pierced again.

The author has something to say: Thank you for watching.