The accident in my life is only you

I think they must have heard my footsteps, and they will look at the door and wait for me to open it like yesterday.

At this time, it was past ten o'clock in the morning, and it was not a rest time that was inconvenient to disturb, so I pushed Liu Shu's door open without thinking about it.

The scene in the room is not so beautiful, but it still makes me embarrassed.

Liu Shu and Aning were lying sideways facing each other on the bed, as if they were taking a nap with their eyes closed.

When I opened the door, they all opened their eyes and looked in my direction. At this moment, Aning's eyes were hazy, as if he had just woken up, while Liu Shu's expression was clear, as if he hadn't closed his eyes just now.

And I was like an abrupt intruder, cruelly breaking the original intimate and harmonious picture of them, and becoming a hateful executioner.

But obviously, they didn't just wake up, because there was still unfinished breakfast on Liu Shu's table.

As for the door, Liu Shu must have forgotten to lock it when he bought breakfast in the morning and returned.

At this time, Liu Shu sat up slowly in his unlined clothes, ready to get out of bed, with a natural expression, without any shyness or embarrassment.

Aning was still lying on his side, wearing a thin coat and a single shirt, but the buttons on the chest of the single shirt were open. The buttons were not buttoned neatly from the highest point of the collar to the chest, and even a small section of fair skin was faintly exposed.

Although the quilts on their bodies have covered their chests, Aning's messy underwear can still be seen.

I already knew all about them in my heart, but this was the first time I actually saw them lying together.

The scene in front of me made my heart tremble, and my heart lost all warmth in an instant, as if I was stabbed by a sharp knife and died completely.

I stood at the door, helpless, not knowing whether to enter or exit.

Still wearing her underwear, Liu Shu stood up, walked to my place, and broke the deadlock, "Yingying, what's the matter with you coming so early?"

I forced myself to calm down, and jokingly said, "I didn't come at the right time, I'm sorry, I didn't bother you, did I?"

Then I took out the two tickets from my backpack and handed them to Liu Shu, "Then I'll just say a few words and leave. This is the ticket you want me to buy."

Liu Shu turned a deaf ear to my joking tone just now, passed the ticket in my hand directly, and watched the departure time carefully, but Aning on the bed did not move, still lying on his side, as if he had fallen asleep.

But I know that when I open the door, her eyes are open, and she may have other reasons for not getting out of bed at this time.

Those reasons were entangled in my head, magnified infinitely, and all kinds of vivid pictures spontaneously emerged, and my heart was unbearably sour for no reason, and the feeling grew more and more, wishing to tear Liu Shu in front of me and this unbelievable self .

The heart that had just died seemed to come back to life, and then died again, thousands of times like this, tormenting the fragile apex of the heart and slowly oozing pain.

I suppressed the discomfort in my heart, controlled my tone, and said indifferently, "Two tickets are 138 yuan, so if there is nothing else, I will leave first."

Ah Ning on the bed finally spoke, and coughed twice before speaking, but the words he spoke were weak, as if he had just woken up.

"Liu Shu, I have money in my bag, show it to Yingying for me, it's on the outermost layer of the bag, look for it."

Liu Shu put the two tickets on the small table next to her, leaned over to find the money in Aning's bag, and then handed me a 140 yuan cash note.

"Yingying, I don't have any change. I'll give you the money. You don't need to look for it." Liu Shu handed me the money and smiled slightly.

The smile on the corner of Liu Shu's mouth turned into a sarcasm in my mind, which had no gentle meaning at all.

I took the 140 yuan note and stuffed it directly into the bag, twitched the corner of my mouth at her, turned and walked out without any hesitation or goodbye.

My thoughts stopped here, and the scene of the broken scene years ago came through one after another, as if to crush the apex of my dead heart into pieces.

The repressed grief from the bottom of my heart swept over again, and the pain spread thinly, biting away the little sleepiness I had left.

I closed my eyes, lay on the bed, let the pain crazily bite and entangle, forced myself to calm down, felt the tranquility around me, and thought about the sleepiness that had just gone and never returned.

In a trance, everything was silent.

No matter how silent, sinking into the water, no sound can be heard again.

......

Suddenly, there were a few small chattering and laughing sounds from far and near, and they came into my ears, and the sounds became clearer and clearer.

I suddenly opened my eyes, and it was still the roof of the dormitory. The sultry air instantly covered the cold wind in the dream, and the outside was still hot and rolling. Several roommates in the dormitory were discussing their graduation thesis for this semester.

Those pains followed through time, and woke up again at this time, but not so intensely.

Fortunately, everything is over.

I unconsciously pressed my palms on my chest, looked at the ceiling and took a few deep breaths before finally regaining my senses.

right!It is the end of May now, it is already summer, and there is no colder chill than winter, and those just now are just the past in a dream.

right!Those are things of the past.

I hurriedly sat up, opened the bed curtain, looked at the real everything outside the bed curtain, and my heart was slightly relieved.

Now even the campus has been changed, we moved to a new campus, a new dormitory, everything is new, she will never get involved in these scenery again, and she will not let her figure be everywhere.

Liu Shu was arranged by his family to work with his relatives, and he will not return to Jiangcheng and his hometown for the time being. We should not see each other again, and everything will finally be settled.

Seeing that the time on the phone was almost three o'clock, and the time for the afternoon class was approaching, I quickly got out of bed and took the toiletries to the pool outside the balcony.

The cool water flowed into the washbasin, soaking the towel, my cheeks, and my mind, which finally made my mind clearer.

In the evening, the heat of the day faded away, and although the Xu Feng at night still carried some temperature, it was still much refreshing compared to the daytime.

I was lying on the bed and Xiaoya and I were texting each other, but when I logged into QQ on my phone, a message popped up.

I opened it conveniently, and the content was: Are you there?Do you have a part-time job tomorrow Saturday?

His screen name has not been changed, and he looks a little strange, but his avatar looks a little familiar, and he can't remember it. Who is he?

I clicked on his avatar, clicked on his profile, and then remembered that he is a senior I met as a part-time job this semester.

His school is just across the road from our school. Because I can always meet him as a part-time job, I rarely contact him via QQQ. I didn’t expect him to send me a message suddenly.

I quickly replied to him: Yes, I don't plan to work part-time tomorrow, the weather is too hot.

After sending this message, it was a long time before I received his reply: Are you free tomorrow?Let's hang out together.

I always feel that there is something wrong with this message. Since I feel that the weather is hot and I don’t want to work part-time, I will not choose to go out to do other things because of my temperament. But isn’t he asking this message knowingly?

I originally considered rejecting his invitation, but after typing out the content, I felt that I had been helped by him many times, so it seemed inappropriate to refuse it decisively.

So I changed the content and replied: OK, then you set a time to send it to me.

I thought the senior was going to take me to some places of interest, because I just moved to the new campus this year, so I am not very familiar with the surrounding environment.

But the agreed time was three o'clock in the afternoon. Looking at this weird departure time, I was puzzled and couldn't ask directly, but at three o'clock in the afternoon the next day, I still arrived at the gate of their school as scheduled.

The senior stood far away, holding two cups of milk tea in his hands. When he saw me approaching, he smiled and handed me a cup.

But at this time, there were no other people around, only me and him standing together.

I looked around and asked, "Didn't you say go out to play? Just the two of us?"

The senior smiled, as if he was a bit cautious, he tightened the milk tea cup in his hand and walked beside me, "Yeah, it's just the two of us, the others said they don't have time."

Seeing that I was still looking at him in doubt, he hesitated and said, "Didn't you say that you just came to this campus before? Did you say that you have never been to our school? I will take you shopping today."

I still have some doubts, but I nodded knowingly, expressing my understanding.

Then we walked around his school for half a circle, and walked to the gazebo near his dormitory. At this time, because the gazebo was small, there were no students around, just the two of us.

I looked at the basketball court not far away, looked at the vigorous posture of playing, and said: "Your school is much bigger than ours, and the environment is so good. No wonder the part-time friends who used to work together said that your engineering school is dating. resort."

I didn't hear the senior's answer, so I continued on my own: "I have never entered through your gate before. I don't know that the scenery on your side is better than that on the east side gate."

The senior still didn't answer, and only heard the cheerful sound of playing ball not far away.

I looked at him suspiciously, and found that the senior had been looking at my side face without speaking, his cheeks were slightly red, and he hesitated to speak.

His appearance reminds me of the scene when my roommate said her boyfriend confessed his love. Does the senior want to confess his love to me?But I feel like we haven't had much contact?We've only known each other for a few months.

When I was about to ask him why he hesitated to speak, the senior called my name, "Lin Ying, I...I like you."

Sure enough, he really confessed to me.

But at this time, when I heard this sentence, I didn't feel too much joy, as if he just said an ordinary sentence to me.

It's not because the senior's appearance is not handsome and tall enough, nor is it because the senior is not deep enough inside, but because my mental strength has long been polished by Liu Shu, and my heart has long since died under the bridge hole at the end of last year.

Seeing that my expression was calm and stunned, the senior was a little anxious, but he still had the courage to say that sentence, "Lin Ying, I like you, you can be my girlfriend."

I looked sideways at the senior, still in a daze, flashing through my mind what Liu Shu said to me in the class corridor many years ago.

---I mean it, I don't believe you can't feel it.

At that time, it was you who first provoked me for no reason and said you loved me first.

Later, it was also you who gave up on me for no reason and didn't love me first.

And although I never said I love you, nor did I promise you anything, but I stood behind you from beginning to end, bearing everything silently.

In the end, I still licked all the wounds alone.

"Lin Ying, did you hear what I said? Answer me." The senior asked anxiously, and the magnetic male voice pulled me back from my thoughts.

My eyes regained clarity, and I replied softly: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't accept you."

"Why? Do you have a boyfriend?"

I smiled, shook my head feebly and replied, "I don't have a boyfriend."

The senior's anxiety increased even more, and he asked quickly: "Then why don't you try to date me? Is it because I'm not handsome enough? Is it because you hate me?"

My rejection was not because I hated the senior, but the figure in my heart hadn't faded away, she was still standing there, occupying all my heart.

Looking at the eager eyes of the senior, I smiled wryly at the corner of my mouth, and replied sincerely: "Because, I am a comrade."

Finally, after losing her, I stood in the sun and admitted openly to other people that I liked a girl and that I might be gay.

Just after I uttered these words, the gloom that had been suppressed in my heart for a long time seemed to dissipate, and the whole person became much more relaxed.

The senior opened his mouth slightly, but didn't say a word, as if a sentence had been stuck in his throat for a long time, his eyes were surprised at first, and finally sad.

In the end, we bid farewell hastily, and the senior even returned back in a hurry and lonely.

I looked at his leaving figure, smiled helplessly, and then raised my eyes to the west-slanting sun not far away.

I finally stood under the sun, watching the past and the fact that she left.

The author has something to say: Thank you for watching.

At the beginning of Chapter 88 of Lin Ying's main text, there was an explanation. It was already the summer of the second year, and Lin Ying took a nap in the dormitory.The three chapters in the middle are about what happened during the Chinese New Year that Lin Ying recalled in her sleep.

In the next chapter, classmate Xiaoya will appear again.