The accident in my life is only you

After walking around the night market with Liu Shu all night, he was a little tired, so he quickly washed up when he returned to the dormitory, then made the bed and prepared to rest.

The roommates all drew the curtains and made preparations before going to bed.

Liu Shu and I sat side by side on the edge of the bed. I was checking the books and homework materials for tomorrow's class, while Liu Shu flipped through some of my magazines and pressed her cell phone from time to time.

The originally quiet dormitory was suddenly broken by a soft female voice, the volume was not very loud, and the voice was not very sharp, just like the music being played on the mobile phone, and the headset was accidentally unplugged by someone, and an abrupt sound was released.

But it stopped abruptly immediately, and there was no more text.

I was slightly taken aback, only to realize that the voice came from Liu Shu's cell phone.

I turned my head to look at Liu Shu, wanting to ask where the voice came from, but found that Liu Shu was also looking at me with panic in her eyes, and the phone was in her hand, with my thumb still pressing on the right button of the phone.

The other people in the dormitory didn't notice anything unusual, they were still doing their own things, as if someone just accidentally said a word.

But next to Liu Shu, I could hear clearly. I didn't hear the specific content of the voice clearly. It seemed that I said a few words, but the voice seemed familiar.

I stared at Liu Shu suspiciously, trying to catch some clues from her eyes.

Liu Shu's face changed slightly under my eyes, and he quickly lowered his head to hide the panic in his eyes, then slowly put the phone by his side and let go, as if he had done something bad.

I suddenly understood that I should be very familiar with that voice just now, it was Aning's voice, so Liu Shu should be sending a message to Aning, so it is normal for her to call suddenly.

Thinking of this, I turned my head and continued to organize the books, not looking at Liu Shu, hiding the sadness in my eyes, and pretending that I didn't care at all.

But I didn't let myself go, I was still thinking about that voice, and why Liu Shu hung up on Ah Ning.

And when Liu Shu didn't turn on the hands-free, what did Aning want to tell Liu Shu so loudly?

I was arranging the books in my hand, but I was thinking carefully about the words that Ah Ning yelled out.

Those words seemed to come out immediately, but I just didn't think of them for a while.

I turned my head to look at Liu Shu again. At this time, she had already drawn half of my bed curtain, hiding herself in the bed, with her back against the wall, her head raised and her eyes closed, with a calm face, as if she was asleep. generally.

My heart was inexplicably sour, how could I not care, I cared a lot, but what right did I have to care, I couldn't be with her forever, so I couldn't extend my hand to her.

What's more, I also hope that she can lead a normal life in the future, get married and have children.

Looking at Liu Shu's side face, my heart ached.

Suddenly a thought flashed in my mind, and it slowly coincided with what Aning said, and those words became clear, engraved on my heart stroke by stroke, and I knew what those words were.

There was a throbbing pain in my heart, I pinched the palm of my hand, and let go quickly.

I was afraid that my roommate would discover my expression, so I gently put the textbook that I had turned over and over several times on the table.

Pull the curtains, cover the quilt, lie down along the side of the bed, close your eyes, and don't speak.

Liu Shu also pulled off the quilt, and lay down on his back against the wall, beside me, leaving an empty space in the middle, where the cold wind was blowing.

The roommate had already turned off the lights, and there was silence in the dark, while the words that Aning shouted on the phone were playing over and over again in my mind.

She said: I love you.

The next day, we pretended nothing happened and had breakfast together in the empty dormitory.

After school, we had lunch together.

The cold air slipped in through the windows, making the originally empty dormitory even colder.

After packing up the packing boxes on the table, I took Liu Shu to the back playground of the dormitory to bask in the sun.

There is a row of straight trees planted there, and it is the only area in the school that is not planted with banyan trees.

I don't know the name of this kind of tree, but it is tall and sparse, and it can't block the sun.

The back playground is actually a piece of grass, because there is a wall on the side, the cold wind cannot blow under the wall, this place is simply the best place to bask in the sun.

And this row of unknown trees is planted on the edge of the back playground, which reduces the hot light by two points, allowing the direct sunlight to be just right.

I sat side by side with Liu Shu on the grass, with my back facing the sun, and let the sun shine warmly on my back, on the grass, and in the palm of my hand.

"Did Aning call you yesterday?" I asked out of time, trying to keep my tone as calm as possible.

"Yes." Liu Shu replied with no emotion on his expression.

I remembered the three words Aning said last night, my heart was depressed, and my throat was a little hoarse, "Then she called you, what did she want to tell you?"

"I don't know." Liu Shu replied lightly, with a light voice.

"Then why did you hang up on her?"

"I don't know, maybe I accidentally pressed it off."

I clearly know the reason, but I just want to hear her tell me the story, so that I can strangle this damned heart with humble hope.

Before she went to Aning's side, she didn't mention anything to me, and she never mentioned the matter between Aning and her.

But today, she pretended to be perfunctory with such a flawed answer, and I suddenly got a little angry.

"Do you think I don't know what she wants to say when she calls you? Do you think I didn't hear it yesterday? Liu Shu, you let me down so much. "

Liu Shu said indifferently, expressionlessly: "How did I let you down? What did you give me, how can I let you down."

I was dumbfounded, I didn't know what to say, and I couldn't directly say what I expected from her.

Liu Shu then sneered, and said self-deprecatingly: "Yes, you have been disappointed in me a long time ago. What else can I disappoint you? I hope that I can disappoint you. This at least shows that you I care a little bit about liking me."

I have done so many things, but she still thinks that I don't care about her at all?

I concealed the trembling in my heart, raised my volume a little, and pretended to be calm, "Then what did she give you? Let you never forget it like this."

"She gave you what you couldn't give, she said she would love me forever, she would always be with me, she could give me anything I wanted, can you give me? I want you to be mine alone, I I want you to see me in your eyes and be with me forever, can you do it?"

Liu Shu approached me with sharp eyes, looking straight at me, and his words were full of questions.

My mind was in a mess, I could only close my eyes, not daring to look at her anymore, my heart was completely cold.

Yes, I can't do it, I can't do all of these, I don't have the courage to lie to her, I really can't do it, but I feel a little unwilling in my heart.

I opened my eyes and looked at my own shadow on the ground, restored my normal tone, and said calmly: "I have never promised you what I can't do, are you sure she can do what I can't do? You Do you trust her like that?"

I didn't look at her anymore, but stood up and walked towards the dense group of banyan trees, away from her step by step.

How I wish Liu Shu at this moment could come to my side, hold me, and explain to me that none of this is true, she just said it out of desperation.

But the hope soon came to nothing. There was no sound of footsteps behind him, only the slight rustling sound of the leaves being blown by the cold wind. Accompanied by the sound of the wind, it seemed bleak and desolate.

With disappointing steps, I walked through the banyan trees and walked to the stone bench where I first picked Liu Shu back, and sat where Liu Shu had sat before.

Thinking about the past between me and Liu Shu, my heart throbbed.

For a long time, I reached a compromise with myself. I knew that I liked her, and I couldn't just give up on her and let her go further and further on this road.

I pretended I hadn't heard what Liu Shu said, so I collected my mood, stood up and walked along the way I walked back and forth, looking for Liu Shu's figure while walking.

When we walked to the end of the group of banyan trees, we saw that Liu Shu was still sitting where we were just basking in the sun, without moving, with his head lowered, as if he was looking at his own shadow on the ground.

I walked to her side and sat down again where I was just now, without looking at her or speaking.

Liu Shu said softly: "Did you think I would go after you? Are you a little disappointed when you see that I didn't go after you? Do you think I will chase after you like a boy chasing a girl? You who disdain me so much, I will never do it again."

After a pause, he continued, "I just want to let you know how uncomfortable this feeling is, and let you know how hard it is for me to get through this alone."

Then the voice became smaller and smaller, and there was sadness in the words: "I can't ask for it, and I can't let it go."

My heart was dripping with blood, as if I had been stabbed countless times, and I was about to die from suffocation.

We didn't talk to each other any more, and sat quietly for a long time.

It wasn't until the class time in the afternoon approached that I collected my mood and said to Liu Shu pretending to be nonchalant: "Do you want to go back to the dormitory with me now? If you don't go back, then you will go back to the dormitory to sleep when you get sleepy later." Go to sleep, there is only one class in the afternoon, and the class will be over soon, I will take you out to the night market at night."

Liu Shu didn't answer my words, but just looked up at me in a daze, maybe she was startled by my calm voice.

Her eyes followed my movements, and she raised her head slowly, with a dull look.

I stood up and patted the dirty place on my body, turned around and looked at the dazed Liu Shu, raised the corners of my mouth with all my strength, and smiled at her relaxedly.

"This is the dormitory key. Here, here it is. Don't lose it. I only have one."

As I said that, I threw the key directly at her feet, turned around and walked towards the dormitory.

The strength on my face was exhausted, and I no longer had the strength to hold the smile on the corner of my mouth.

I looked at everything around me, as if it was slowly becoming gray, I twitched the corners of my mouth as if mocking myself, and told myself: Forget it, you asked for all of this, and you can’t blame anyone.

The author has something to say: Thank you for watching.People who are insecure about each other and just want more.