I debuted on a talent show with my ex-boyfriend

The torrential rain fell all night, except for a whistling and screaming ambulance, which dragged down a group of vague and mournful urgent sounds, everything seemed to always fall into the noisy and crazy sound of rain.The phone has been out of power for a long time, and a few drops of water occasionally fall on the black screen, reflecting the green safe passage sign on the gate.

He should have noticed it when he was in HK.

The pain, depression and sorrow that that person could not resolve, as an "ordinary friend", he was just an episode in Kan Junhuan's life, which could neither carry on nor serve as a link to the next.He always said that with such an identity, how could He De be able to greet him with care, but now he watched him bow and bow his head again and again, facing the whole white world, but he had nothing to say.

He sat on the steps at the entrance of the hospital for a long time, half of his sneakers were wet from the splashed rain, Tang Zhiyang took a deep breath, the smell of disinfectant was still warm, the hall kept the commotion when the patients came, a few strings of muddy The footprints stretched long from the door, like a flurry of intermittent lifelines.

The door of the emergency room was wide open, and the drenched family members and emergency personnel gathered around the hospital bed. There was the empty and oppressive sound of the cardiopulmonary resuscitation machine in the room. Tang Zhiyang quickened his pace and left, there was no crying in the infusion room, Yu Fei and Le Shi in the corner were sleeping soundly next to each other, with a peaceful and peaceful demeanor.

What Tang Zhiyang can be sure of is that at least one of the two people likes the other person. As long as he thinks this way, everything can be understood clearly.The young love and hate came intensely and painfully, with strong emotion, he didn't bother the two of them anymore, borrowed a power bank from a 24-hour convenience store outside the hospital, and turned on his phone.

He didn't open Weibo, and selectively ignored several shocking tweets, words such as "stress", "depression", "violence" and "disqualification" were sharp and thorny.Tang Zhiyang opened the message interface, swiped down on the contact person, and paused on the word Boss Kan. He used to be a backup dancer for their troupe, joking amidst the laughter of the troupe members, and asked when the salary would be paid. After a pause, he made a big joke and started talking nonsense.

"The captain is the black-hearted coal boss, and every time he pulls people to do hard work, it's like signing a contract of prostitution."

Kan Junhuan looked very headache, his eyes looked at him so brightly, and his stage costume was soaked with sweat, Tang Zhiyang remembered it very clearly, it was an extremely thin sky blue silk shirt, which almost made his muscles They all showed a rudimentary form, and he said with a smile: "It's fine to sign it, it depends on whether people are willing."

He always speaks sincerely, everything leaves a huge echo in his heart, he is always strong and reliable.Juniors respect him, teammates love him, and senior leaders appreciate him.He didn't seem to lack anything, Tang Zhiyang paused his fingers on the back button, feeling that after he put down the work of his partner, he was already dispensable to the other party.

Does Kan Junhuan lack comfort, lack of advice? Will he, who lives in a high place, accept his own comfort?

The answer is obvious, he has always been inappropriate for the advance and retreat of feelings.

The last message with him was on June [-]th, he said good night to him, and Kan Junhuan returned to his sweet dreams.

It was early in the morning, but he didn't fall asleep that night. The sea breeze circling in Victoria Harbor was like a flock of deep blue gulls, led to the faint day by the slow siren. He revealed his past in the dark night, Like a pale spotlight, the bloody words in the dark corner are clearly my own "I still like".

Once Tang Zhiyang calms down, there will always be this person's voice and smile in his heart, like a shock during a light sleep. When he is standing at the top of the much-anticipated votes and the theme song C, the subconscious thought is——

This place is so empty, so bright that it almost extinguishes the shadows, can Kan Junhuan see him in the strong, harsh, and dry light of spotlights?

Tang Zhiyang sighed, exited the message interface to be edited, and called Leshi.Not surprisingly, Yu Fei took it.

"At the convenience store, would you like something to eat?"

"In the first performance evaluation, the one who got the first place in the total votes was—"

The trainees in each group looked at each other, and the camera shifted to the leader of each group. Tang Zhiyang was in the lower left corner, holding his headband and wiping his forehead. His fine forehead hair was soaked with sweat. He stood behind the captain, Concentrating on the results on the screen, Li Xiang, who announced the answers one by one, kept the answers one by one, mobilizing the tense atmosphere to the peak.

"He is a person who is loved by everyone, and for the members of the group, he is like an older brother."

Several older and reliable trainees were clustered out by the team members. They were the seniors who worked hard in the last clip. Their faces were cramped and nervous, and the team members were happy for them. Maybe there is the relief of having resigned to fate, maybe there is a smirk shown in order to win a short shot-whether the honor belongs to him or not, idols always have to laugh.

Li Xiang paused for a few seconds, and deliberately called out the name of a trainee. A happy expression appeared on his face, but Li Xiang turned around and said, "Who do you think it will be?"

After going through the ups and downs like a roller coaster and the teasing of great joy and great sorrow, the trainee showed a slightly stiff smile. He scratched the back of his head and adjusted a natural and naive cute smile. He said, "It's not me anyway."

Li Xiang smiled slightly, that smile was a professional arc, quite gentle and honest, he said: "The future will be yours."

The trainee was so grateful that he bowed deeply, and the words he left the microphone were thin and feeble, almost transparent lips, which were repeated "thank you".

"This trainee's stage is refreshing, and he is good at dancing."

The divided screens have all disappeared, and those who seem to be eager to try in front of the camera seem to have been eliminated. The scenes of everyone whispering and whispering make the conjectures that are gradually narrowing in scope settled. Even if they are discussing conjectures, they have already Several people showed a clear expression.

"The dance group? The A group of "The Next Song"... The strength of that group is really shocking."

"Who is number one in their group? I think both C and the captain can be number one..."

The camera panned obediently to this group, and noticed that the expression of Tang Zhiyang in the camera did not change much, after all, he had some too delicate and special looks, and the long and sharp eyeliner traces drawn at the end of his eyes seemed to be passing by on the spring lake A dovetail cut.The kids in the lower circle got along well with him, clapped his shoulders in advance as a gesture of celebration, Tang Zhiyang seemed a little embarrassed, smiled with lowered eyes, and waved to them, his mouth must be saying "don't make trouble".

"Individual trainee," the prefix representing identity blurted out, all groups applauded vigorously after getting the answer, and the name at the top of the vote pyramid jumped out on the big screen, Li Xiang pressed the script to his heart, and said to them A gesture of invitation revealed the answer: "Tang Zhiyang, congratulations."

He smiled when he took the stage, and his words of thanks were sincere and gentle, which was in stark contrast to the man on stage who was restrained and precise. He could always find the most touching joints in a dance. This kind of sensitivity requires sensual talent , a dance partner like a confidant, under the catalysis of the spotlight, his light breaks out of the cocoon and becomes a butterfly.

The room was dark, only the huge TV projection screen was shining brightly. In the lyrical theme song piano sound, the trainees of this group expressed their thoughts on Tang Zhiyang one by one. Some said that he is a very reliable senior. Now, no matter how difficult the song is, it is not a problem; some say that he is the heartbeat of the team, as long as he is there, all problems can be easily solved, Le Shi is the most taciturn person in the team, he rarely smiled in front of the camera, and said A very big thank you.

Even the light on the screen went out because of the end of the program. There was only a lingering light source on the coffee table. It was a mobile phone with the screen always on. I don’t know how long it was quiet. echo.A low sigh sounded like waking up.

Kan Junhuan picked up the phone, and the light moved with it, casting two bluish-white square shadows on his lens.

In the text message interface, the last message is from me, with two simple words: good dream.

He moved his fingers a few times, and deleted everything decisively, but the input box was still blank.The curtains of the french windows were suddenly lifted by the turbulent and sharp rain and wind, and he suddenly realized that there was a gap in the window that was not closed tightly, whimpering and blowing the wind and rain.Kan Junhuan stood up and went to close the window with bare feet. The slippery and cold rain made him shiver slightly.

The day I met Tang Zhiyang was also a sudden rainstorm.

At that time, HP was not a well-known entertainment company with deep pockets, and they were not a peak boy group with records that only they could break and surpass. The company's office building was built in a remote suburb, and the practice room was a basement converted from a parking lot. The smell of damp water and the strong and stifling gasoline smell.The use of the practice room is limited, and it is always occupied by the seniors of the company. If you use it for an extra 5 minutes, you have to submit an application. There are lazy, cold eyes and ridicule in between, from different people.

"The salary is enough to survive. Anyway, debuting in such a company is a fool. The group will be disbanded in two years. There is no need to work hard, and there is no need to think about being a hit. The reality is in front of you. It's just crazy thinking. Daydream."

This is what Kan Junhuan heard most often.Most of the trainees who were in the same period as him quit jobs, and the rest were blunted by reality, and they just waited to die. At that time, he was still in the rebellious age. No.1 in several monthly evaluations, he was promoted to the debut group. The group name was originally Hope, but everyone agreed that it was too rustic and straightforward, so it was changed to HopE.

Both the initial and the final letter are capitalized, which he proposed.His wish for the beginning and the end of his career to be capitalized is a pure pipe dream.

Like him, the people in the regiment are all young at heart, with their arms stretched out very high, as high as the sky.He stayed up all night before his debut. He had never been so tired. He washed the practice shirts three times a day. Almost all the light-colored T-shirts were washed and turned yellow.Hypoglycemia and dehydration are common occurrences. Instead of going to the hospital, I walk around with the practice mirror, take a sip of glucose and continue dancing.

However, the stage that they thought was mature and handsome got close to zero points in all the song playing programs. No, they were submerged behind the rest of the group, serving as backdrops for bright laughs in the shadows.

The trainees who have a good relationship in private will never help him as a backup dancer anymore, and his former friends avoid him. After the perfunctory chat, the communication records suddenly discovered one day were blacked out.Even the hopeful group is demoralized, and the end of disintegration is imminent.

At the lowest point of his life, he met Tang Zhiyang.

He quarreled with the former captain at a Lanzhou ramen restaurant next to the company, and the other party said that he was so upset that it would be best to lead the team and win a place.Every unhappy ending is a bad omen. When it rained heavily, he was sweating and drenched in the rain. He was shivering. After filling a bowl of mung bean soup in the shop, he found a thin and small boy standing by the table. Girl, scratch the edge of the table and look at him, dripping at his bowl of refreshing drink.

He ran out of money, and he was the only one in the store who was drinking mung bean soup for nothing, and the boss's eyes were about to roll to the ceiling fan on the ceiling.He moved the bowl inward, and the little girl wrinkled her face, she was about to cry, and she looked at him with watery eyes.He is very ruthless, unless the world falls apart and they take the diamond road to win the first place, otherwise they will never compromise with the cute little girl.

The little girl blinked and said to him, "Brother, you are so handsome."

He almost surrendered, but someone on the other end shouted: "Zhizhi, don't bother others."

The little girl had a babyish voice, neither big nor small, and she replied in a drawn-out voice, "Brother, I'm looking at the handsome brother."

When Kan Junhuan raised his head, he saw a man standing at the next table. He was not very tall, but he looked tall and slender because of his thinness. The lines of his eyes were very delicate, and there was a helpless smile on his face that flattered and coaxed children. Come to give me an apologetic look, come and hug the short girl with thin arms and legs, put her on the small bench, feed her the stingy beef slices in the store, and eat the white noodles soaked in soup , Seeing that Kan Junhuan is also hungry, he can hold back the hunger that lacks energy all year round, but his stomach can't help but make a shabby cry of embarrassment.

The other person didn't speak, but within 5 minutes, Kan Junhuan had a bowl of noodles on the table. He looked at the paper-thin slices of beef floating in the clear soup pitifully, and suddenly felt that the world treated him as well. It's not fair to not be so tight-lipped, at least someone stared at him and said handsome brother, and the noodles he wanted to eat were put on the table the next moment.

Tang Zhiyang later said that he only had the last 50 yuan in his pocket that day, but he seemed to belong to HP, so he might be able to use the money for a bowl of noodles to go through the back door and inquire about shortcuts, so he made this decision.

At that time, he asked Tang Zhiyang: "Is it really because you look at me pitifully?"

Tang Zhiyang was noncommittal, and gave a vague answer: "Everyone is the same." After a pause, he made trouble again: "My sister thinks that a handsome guy should eat a bowl of beef noodles, and I want to make her happy."

This person who had a predestined relationship with him came to the bottom of the darkest valley by accident and became his shadow.

Light surrounded him from all directions, placing him in the middle of the heaven and earth.Afterwards they won many No.1s, from the surprise of being the first one, to the brilliance of the whole list, the sales volume of millions, the dark ocean was gradually lit up, and the singing voice that came through all hardships was overwhelmed. echo.

But Tang Zhiyang didn't have time to see the sunrise on the top of the mountain. He chose to leave at the dawn of dawn and said to him, "We will meet on the same stage one day" - the moment he saw him under the lights of the show, Kan Junhuan knew that that blurred figure also wanted to have clear and profound facial features, and also wanted to express his emotions.

He had a secret love that lasted throughout his teenage years. When he lived in the lowlands, he gave off little fluorescent lights, and disappeared without a trace when the sky was bright.Later, HP moved out of that cramped and small remote place, and there was no need to line up for appointments in the practice room, and no one dared to look down on them, and all the songs were praised and sung.But in his busy and tired days, he often thought of the bowl of miserly and annoying beef noodles he had eaten that day.

His sleep time is getting shorter and shorter, he has seen all the silence in the early morning, and sometimes he will cry inexplicably at dawn, when he thinks of the same day, the younger generation who failed to guide and protect well, piled up like a mountain but can't let out a half Ballads with a few phrases, rough rumors and gossips form a noose with words, and every time he goes on stage, he is like a hanged person who is about to suffocate. He bowed deeply to the full audience and said with a smile: "Everyone must work hard."

Kan Junhuan has everything, only his dreams are gradually disappearing, so small that there is no trace.What makes people desperate is not the incident itself, but that since he has noticed that his original intention is drifting away, he can no longer bring it back.

The past sufferings flowed away, and the signs of recovery gradually appeared. He walked out of the darkness, out of the room, and the weather outside was clear and bright.

But one day he passed by the old site of HP again. The noodle shop downstairs has been newly decorated, and there is a bright yellow slogan on the door plate: HP artists strongly recommend, their photos are blurred by oil smoke, covered A hideous and frightening yellow cloud, he heard the sound of a rainstorm on a sunny day, and associated it with the dark past, so he silently believed that there is a disease that will never be cured unless he dies.

The author says:

What are you doing, I heard that someone is going to roast me!Fat school, it can be updated as usual.One day I saw a comment under a news about an artist's depression: He obviously has everything, but he is still depressed. He is really acting.I feel very sad.The deputy CP should open another book in the future, starting from a one-sided relationship (love in a bowl of beef noodles).