married her first and then fell in love

When Ye Jin walked out of the restaurant, it was snowing again in the sky.

I always feel that this year's winter is longer than in the past, probably because the calm and recurring days are more likely to be fleeting, just like the six years before I met Xia An, so long passed without knowing it.

Valentine's Day is coming, and the street atmosphere is getting stronger and stronger.The boy wrapped the girl in a loose coat to keep warm, and the girl was raising her head and smiling coquettishly. For most couples, winter is an ambiguous season.

Ye Jin stood silently on the street, seeing the scene of tenderness, she still didn't change her face, but her mood was far away.Recalling the scene of going to the dormitory to pick Xia An home that night, downstairs in the dormitory, Xia An also smiled and coquettishly slipped into her arms.

Only when recalling these broken details, did Ye Jin faintly feel happy.

But it is only a short-term feeling.

Back in the car, Ye Jin leaned her head on the seat and closed her eyes tightly.

His face was full of tiredness.

I also want to love someone free and easy without any burden, and I also want to meet someone I like, and the two of them will live a long and steady life together.It's just that such seemingly ordinary happiness, Ye Jin felt that it would not belong to him.

She didn't even think about taking the initiative to pursue her in the past.

There is no great joy, nor unbearable loneliness, this is the truest portrayal of Ye Jin's life in these years.Can a person be lonely?It will be lonely, but it's not that bad.

Year after year, I have long been used to living alone.Ye Jin has always planned love in a dispensable position. For many people, love may be a kind of sweet belonging, but for Ye Jin, love is a disguised pressure, sometimes even suffering.

Simply don't think about it.

Before meeting Xia An, Ye Jin had almost no expectations for relationships, and even she convinced herself that her situation is more suitable for living alone, with fewer troubles but many troubles, so she firmly insists on the principle of non-marriage.

It wasn't until Xia An appeared that her stubborn thoughts for many years were really shaken.

"Ye Jin, I dare say that no one knows you better than me. After knowing you, you can wait for you willingly like me." Ye Jin narrowed her eyes and thought about Yi Zhen's words, but she was thinking of Xia An's face in her heart. She sighed He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned his head on the steering wheel, his heart was so congested that he hadn't had a drop of alcohol tonight, but he still felt very uncomfortable.

The discomfort was not because of Yi Zhen's words, but because of her own subconscious recognition of those words.

Six years ago, it was a burden for her to accept Yi Zhen's confession when she didn't love Yi Zhen; but now, she was obviously moved by Xia An, but she still felt burdened by Xia An's confession.

Whether she likes it or not, feelings are accompanied by depression and heavyness for her, and she feels breathless.Ye Jin thought, is it true that she should not have expectations, and that a single person is more suitable?

Yi Zhen once said that being with someone like her is torture.

Unintentional words are often the most true.

Ye Jin lay on the steering wheel with a muffled voice, inferior and sensitive, tired and embarrassed, completely different from her usual arrogant and indifferent appearance.This side, she never showed in front of anyone.

I don't know how long I stayed in the car alone.

Late at night, the number of pedestrians on the street gradually decreased.

The snow was still falling, and when Ye Jin raised his head, the ground had already been covered with a layer of hoarfrost.

Ye Jin looked at the windshield, and after a while, his distressed and tired expression became the same as before, the clouds were calm and breezy, as if he didn't have any troubles.

She started the engine and drove on the familiar road.

In the bedroom, Xia An was sitting at the desk, staring at the computer screen intently. After typing the last word on the keyboard, he checked the time. It was almost eleven o'clock.

Ye Jin hasn't come back yet.

The chat record still stayed at the other party's sentence "Come back later", there was no more, just when Xia An was thinking about whether to take the initiative to call her, he heard small footsteps coming from outside the door.

Xia An got up and walked out of the room.

Ye Jin suddenly saw Xia An pull open the door, standing at the door in her pajamas, her long black hair slouching, she was stunned for a few seconds before softly saying, "Still sleeping?"

Ye Jin didn't come home, Xia An didn't even have the mood to sleep.Why did you come back so late?Are you entertaining?Have you been drinking?A lot of concerns arose in my heart for a while, and Xia An stared at Ye Jin blankly for a while, but in the end he just said, "Coax the little guy, she's been waiting for you all night tonight, she's a little angry."

Xia An is very good at hiding her emotions, and always has a positive and optimistic attitude to the outside world, but she doesn't know that when she is in front of Ye Jin, sometimes she doesn't hide her emotions well.

For example now.

There was no joy on his face.

Is the little guy angry?Or are you angry?Ye Jin was also thinking in her heart, looking at Xia An's face, she couldn't help asking, "Are you waiting for me?"

The atmosphere suddenly fell into silence.

Xia An lowered her eyes, "I fell asleep."

It was still a lukewarm tone.

Then, there was the sound of the door being gently closed.

Staring at the closed door, seeing Xia An's reaction just now, Ye Jin was a little dazed for a moment. Is she still angry, or is her enthusiasm slowly fading... At her age, she is in the prime of life, and she is full of freshness to everything. Sensation and enthusiasm, so it is not difficult to be tempted by a person and to say that you like a person.Not questioning, Ye Jin just felt that when Xia An said he liked her, he definitely didn't think maturely enough.

In the corridor, the two had a few ordinary conversations.

It seems that it is really getting weaker and weaker.

Ye Jin stood at the door, watched quietly for a moment, then went back to her room with a sad expression.

After returning to the room, Xia An continued to chew on the book.

I flipped through several pages in a row, then closed them absent-mindedly, without reading a single word.

When she saw Ye Jin just now, her heart was a little confused, it has been a while, and she still has no answer, how should she face Ye Jin?If she let go freely, she would be reluctant; if she insisted on taking the initiative, she would have no courage; if she still waited silently like now, she would feel that it was a kind of torture, and it was not what she wanted.

Xia An is a decisive person. She has faced many choices since she was a child, but she has never been indecisive. Now, she feels that she is too indecisive when facing Ye Jin.

Even with evasion.

After midnight, Xia An lay down on the bed, staring at the chandelier on the ceiling, still thinking about how to deal with the relationship with Ye Jin.

Xia An pondered for a long time in her heart...

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and she still wants to take the initiative again.

Either take a step closer or take a step back, she really doesn't want to be like this now, ambiguous, thinking wildly all day long.Whether it is good or bad, she wants to get the answer from Ye Jin.If you still can't get the answer you want, it can only mean that she and Ye Jin are really not suitable.

Even if she was rejected, it wouldn't be a matter of days and days, Xia An gritted her teeth to comfort herself, she was just facing the trouble that most people face: falling in love with someone who doesn't like herself.

Even though he comforted himself in this way, when thinking of Ye Jin, Xia An still felt pain in his heart.

After all, it's the first time I like someone like this...

Thinking about the little things between them, her nose was involuntarily sore, and she closed her eyes tightly before the corners of her eyes got wet.

In the face of feelings, Xia An is still rational after all.She couldn't foolishly insist on a wishful relationship, liking someone doesn't mean losing herself.Love isn't supposed to be like this, is it?

But the plans couldn't keep up with the changes.

On Valentine's Day, Xia An didn't confess his love.But she thought, she would never take the initiative towards Ye Jin again...

The author has something to say: the author is autistic