i see your calling

Lian Yan felt that she was in a dream, illusory, like glass. Two days passed before he suddenly realized the fact that Shen Pingge had really gone far away, and he could not see him day and night for a month. he.

Since he realized this, he began to see him in dreams frequently, and every time he wanted to remember that dream, but when he sat up on the bed, he couldn't remember the dream again.What I remember most deeply is the dream I had on the tenth day. Shen Pingge was sitting on a cloud, and the world was falling under the rain. , he can talk in his dream.

He said, "Brother."

He knelt beside Shen Pingge, hugged him, and kissed him, "Brother, I love you so much."

Suddenly everything changed, the clouds split open, Shen Pingge fell into the clouds, Lian Yan stared blankly at him falling and disappearing, and was woken up by fright. Still in reality, he touched the phone in a panic and called Shen Pingge. The phone rang several times before Shen Pingge picked it up.

"Hello," Shen Pingge's voice was tired, "Xiaoyan."

The glass passed through thousands of meters of sky, shattered, but reassembled in the early hours of the morning, without even seeing the traces of shattering. The joy of regaining almost made Lian Yan yell, but he was still crying, depressingly and sadly. .

"...What's wrong?" Shen Pingge heard the crying, "Did you have a nightmare?"

Lian Yan sobbed, "Mmm".

"What did you dream about?" Shen Pingge seemed to turn over, he heard a rustling sound, "did you dream about me?"

Lian Yan is still "hmm".

"I'm here, go get the toilet paper yourself, I remember you have paper on the bedside table, wipe your tears yourself, don't cry." Shen Pingge's voice was very soft, Lian Yan took the toilet paper while crying, and looked at it while wiping tears. Looking at the clock on the wall, the hour hand points to "three", at three o'clock in the morning, Shen Pingge chuckled lightly and said, "I was shocked just now, I thought something happened to you."

Lian Yan cried less, hiccupped softly, clutched the phone, longing to hear Shen Pingge's voice.

But they didn't have anything to say on the phone, or there was no way to say it, and Shen Pingge was not a talkative person. After a long silence, Shen Pingge said.

"Don't think about it anymore, go to sleep, you still have class tomorrow, don't you?" Shen Pingge said.

Lian Yan opened her mouth, but only said "hmm".

"Put the phone next to the pillow, I listen to your voice, I will wake you up if you have a nightmare, go to sleep," Shen Pingge finally said, "Good night."

Before the night is over, the winter nights are already long, showing their teeth and claws and domineering, so the daytime looks gentle and peaceful, the windows are closed tightly, the cold wind cannot come in, and the quilt is tightly wrapped, revealing one ear, Lian Yan listens to Shen Ping He breathed heavily, his anxiety settled down, and he fell asleep very quickly.

·

His long-term habits in this year are all related to Shen Pingge, especially this month, he is used to waking up at the same time as Shen Pingge, washing in the bathroom in front of the mirror, mouth full of white toothpaste foam, holding a cold toothpaste. Water, but also to bounce bad intentions on the other party, and I am used to waiting for Shen Pingge to have dinner together at noon, and I am used to going to see him at night.

Accustomed to executing him slowly, Lian Yan felt an increasingly unbearable blankness.

He resists contact with people other than Shen Pingge, and when he is bored, he just stares at the blank message box, flips through the past messages, presses the keyboard, and doesn't know what to say. Also stupid, organizing his own words even while brushing his teeth.Shen Pingge sent him photos and voice messages several times.

The voice in the voice is always distorted, but Lian Yan always feels gentle.

"We went to a park near here and it was so hot, I was sweating a lot in my sweater."

Lian Yan sat cross-legged on the edge of the bed, unable to think of what to reply, so she just sent "um".

In the middle and late December, there was a heavy snowfall here, and it was fluttering. When Lian Yan woke up, he saw a vast expanse of whiteness outside the window, everything was silent, and the sky was snow-blue. I got up again, picked up my phone, and took a photo.

【,】: Brother, it’s snowing! !

【,】:[picture]

Shen Pingge probably hasn't gotten up yet, or can't look at his phone, so he didn't reply.

Lian Yan sent him a lot of messages.

【,】: It looks like there is a lot of snow outside, it must be very comfortable to step on, and there is a creaking sound, and a footprint is made when someone steps on it. If someone buries a spring under the snow layer, I can’t see it, maybe it will be bounced far away The place.

【,】: The sky is also very white, and everything is very white. I heard that it is easy to suffer from snow blindness, and you can’t see anything. The disease caused by white sounds romantic, but I don’t want to be blind. If I feel uncomfortable, I will Just look down at the watch, mine is black.

After a while, he sent.

【,】: I want to see you.

Shen Pingge still didn't reply him.Lian Yan waited for a long time, finally got dressed in disappointment, ran to Shen Pingge's bedroom to get a black scarf, and wrapped herself tightly.Everything about Shen Pingge smelled good, even his scarf smelled like dry washing powder.

He didn't take his mobile phone to school, but left it in the bedroom.

He missed Shen Pingge especially on the snowy day, even more than usual. He wrote on the notebook paper, said missing, death, and forever. Those were closely related to Shen Pingge, and he never wanted Shen Pingge Been away for so long.

At noon the snow did not stop, Lian Yan did not go to eat, he walked on the campus, the snow covered his feet, buried his ankles, the soft snow became flat, and the bacteria on the soles of his feet sneaked into the pores of the snow and blended together , He walked around the campus three times, walked to the high school, looked up at the brick-red building, and his heart was filled with longing.

If Shen Pingge hadn't agreed to like him, if he hadn't met Shen Pingge, he wouldn't have been tortured to death by missing him.

If Shen Pingge didn't sit beside him and ask his name, if he didn't reply to Shen Pingge, if he didn't stalk Shen Pingge...

While thinking wildly, Lian Yan walked into the high school, and the snow that fell on her body melted away, like tears, falling down and melting away, and he saw his own shadow also melted in the water, pitch black of.Lian Yan hates that he is not a shadow, he wants to become a shadow, it doesn't matter if he steps under his feet, he wants to be with him everywhere.

During the lunch break, there was no one in the high school, it was empty and quiet, and Guangye lay obediently on the ground. Lian Yan walked up the stairs slowly, with very soft footsteps. Shen Pingge's classroom was on the third floor. At the corner of the stairs on the second floor, a soft voice was suddenly heard.

"But this kind of thing is not something that you can solve if you like me."

"Then what can solve it?"

"Actually, you already know the answer. Separation is the best way to solve everything. Don't torture me anymore. I want to go to university. I want to leave here. I don't want to continue."

The two kept talking, and neither of them was excited. Lian Yan stopped and subconsciously looked up, but only saw two slender and thin shadows.

"do not talk!"

The sudden increase in volume startled Lian Yan, and he just came to his senses. Just as he was about to turn around, the sound of footsteps suddenly came from behind, and the shadow fell. Chen You glanced at him, put his hands in his pockets, and continued to look at Looking ahead, he walked down the stairs two steps at a time.

It's so embarrassing.

Lian Yan thought, this is the second time he caught Chen You arguing with Tan Yun.

Lian Yan didn't want to deal with this kind of situation, but suddenly heard a voice from above her head, Tan Yun was pinching the armrest, his eyes were red, but he was still smiling, he called him "Lian Yan", and said, "Would you mind giving me a piece of toilet paper?"

·

It was very cold to sit on the stairs, the snow did not know when it stopped, the light kissed Yinbai warmly, devouring it bit by bit, Lian Yan thought, Shen Pingge probably won't see the snow when he comes back.

Tan Yun didn't say much to him, just sat there in a daze with the paper in his hand, Lian Yan just sat there with her, without saying a word, probably after a long time, Tan Yun suddenly said: "I didn't expect you He was the first to witness our breakup."

Lian Yan moved her eyes and looked at her.

"It's time for a breakup," Tan Yun sniffled and smiled, but the smile disappeared quickly. She tore the toilet paper, bit by bit, and said, "It's not that much of a deal if you break up early. .”

Lian Yan was silent.

Tan Yun slowly put away the ball of paper on the ground and said, "What are you doing in the high school?"

Lian Yan didn't bring a mobile phone, so he couldn't type, and Tan Yun couldn't understand sign language, so he had to touch his nose.

"Shen Pingge went to the competition and is not here. What else can you do besides looking for him?" Tan Yun stood up, suddenly took out the key in his pocket, and handed it to him, "The key in our class , give it back to me after reading it.”

The bunch of keys jingled, with a cold metallic luster under the light. Lian Yan hesitated for a moment, didn't take it, and shook her head. He just walked in by accident, but he didn't really want to enter their classroom.

Tan Yun put away the keychain, "Actually, I don't know why Pingge wants to be with you."

Lian Yan thumped heavily in her heart, and looked at her suddenly, the shock in her eyes was undisguised, and her mind went blank.

"But he must have his own reasons for doing things—why do you see me that way? Are you surprised? It's so obvious, but they shouldn't think about it, ah...is it my intuition as a homosexual?" She When I laughed, my eyes were still red, and the redness didn't go away.

Lian Yan's heart was beating violently and she was restless.

"I won't say much, I'm going to eat, no matter what, the meal must be eaten," Tan Yun took a step forward, stepped down a step, walked very slowly, and suddenly turned around, looking Xiang Lianyan, "I hope you can last longer, at least longer than me and her."

Lian Yan retorted silently in her heart: We will be together forever.

But when he said the words in his heart, he fell into the dark cave like this. He couldn't hear the echo, and couldn't see the trace. What was at a loss was just his own oath.

"Goodbye." Tan Yun smiled and waved to him.

The author says:

I didn't write where I wanted to write, and I was sad.