i see your calling

When Lian Yan walked out of the steamy bathroom, it was dusk outside, and a large dark red light was struggling to evaporate from the horizon. He wiped his wet hair, his fair face was flushed, and his pupils were pitch black.

Taking a bath always gives people a sense of happiness, especially in summer, when you take a hot bath and walk into the air-conditioning.

He saw Shen Pingge's back from the second floor. Shen Pingge was sitting on the sofa, and he could only see Shen Pingge's hair.

Lian Yan walked down the stairs lightly, with the towel on her shoulders. He first saw the matcha cheese on the coffee table in the living room, green like spring.

Before he came to Shen Pingge's side, Shen Pingge saw him first from the corner of his eyes, and looked sideways at him, "Didn't you blow your hair?"

Lian Yan shook her head.

He was just about to go around the sofa and sit beside Shen Pingge, when he suddenly saw a pile of papers on the coffee table, and his footsteps suddenly stopped.

Lian Yan's mind was blank at first, unable to think about anything, he didn't move at all, just staring at the notes.

The notes were stacked neatly, but they were not clamped after all. He could even see his own handwriting. With so many notes, it was impossible for him to try to change the order of his writing on each note. Yes, I wrote it directly.

Why put it here?

Didn't he put it in the schoolbag?

These don't seem to matter either.

Shen Pingge found out.

Lian Yan guessed that these notes might be discovered one day, three years, five years, or even decades, but she didn't expect it to be this afternoon.

"I wanted to help you take your schoolbag upstairs," Shen Pingge put his arm lightly on the sofa, "it accidentally fell out."

Lian Yan could barely breathe, and he wanted to escape an hour ago.

The matcha cheese was placed on the side of the coffee table, and the water droplets condensed on the wall of the cup slid down, making the coffee table wet.

"I didn't want to read it," Shen Pingge sighed, "but the note was unfolded, so I accidentally saw a little."

Lian Yan trembled uncontrollably and lowered her eyelashes.

"Tang Wensi..." Shen Pingge's voice was very soft, but every word seemed to hit him hard, almost making him unable to stand up.

"Did she ask you to give these to me?" Shen Pingge finally raised his eyes to look at him, his light-colored pupils looked a little cold in the evening light, and his tone could not be heard, "Huh?"

Lian Yan was almost out of breath. He was thrown high and then dropped to the ground. His back was sweating, and his forehead was covered in cold sweat. Oxygen seemed to be a scarce commodity. Consumed by a violent heartbeat.

Lian Yan heard her own voice.

"Ah."

"Why are you so nervous?" Shen Pingge stood up and walked to his side, Lian Yan raised her eyes to look at him bluntly, but she really didn't have the strength to raise her hand to gesture.

"You're so nervous," Shen Pingge laughed and rubbed his hair, "I almost thought you gave it to me."

Lian Yan dodged his gaze subconsciously, gave a prevaricated "um", raised her hand with difficulty, and gestured to him.

- She kept asking me to give it to you, but I didn't.

"You," Shen Pingge held his shoulders and pressed him on the sofa, "why didn't you tell me?"

Lian Yan lowered her head, tried hard to calm her breathing, and shook her head.

Good thing he's dumb.

He didn't need words to explain, but he still felt his real emotions running around, in his eyes, in the trembling of his hands, in his sweat.

Shen Pingge called out the memo on his mobile phone and asked Lian Yan to type.

Lian Yan typed slowly, occasionally there was a typo, and she had to go back and delete it, and it took a long time to type it out.

- She asked me to give it to you, but you said you don't want it, I don't know how to refuse her, so I can only put it all in my schoolbag.

God, how could he be so cowardly.

Why can't he admit it—yes!These notes are written by me!I like you openly and aboveboard, and I want your answer.

Then how can he bear the consequences when he speaks these words?

Do you want Shen Pingge to leave him?

Do you want Shen Pingge to treat him coldly?

Lian Yan thought, he wanted too much, he wanted Shen Pingge to know, and wanted Shen Pingge to still be with him.

It's too difficult to lie, he obviously loves him, but he wants to lie.

"Well, so many notes," Shen Pingge said softly, "How long did she give them?"

Lian Yan was typing on her mobile phone.

- almost a month.

"She's very talented," Shen Pingge said, and then he folded the papers again, put them in the school bag, and zipped it up, "Give it back to her later. "

Lian Yan didn't remember how he got to the second floor, how he entered the bedroom, how he threw his schoolbag on the bed, both he and the schoolbag fell on the bed, Lian Yan lay on his back, staring at the ceiling light, his eyes hurt Only then did he move away, and the black dots condensed and dispersed in front of his eyes.

Lian Yan thumped the bed annoyed, not relieved, and slapped several times, the bed didn't hurt, but his hands turned red from the beating.

He sat up abruptly, unzipped the schoolbag, and carried it upside down. A small note spilled out. Lian Yan took it, but her movements froze. He looked at the thick stack of small notes, and suddenly his eyes became sour.

He didn't want to tear up those notes.

He wants to keep it.

He knew that his sentences were not well written, but he didn't lie about his sincerity. Lian Yan sat cross-legged on the bed, flipping through the notes one by one.

He read it quickly, and the content was too familiar.

Lian Yan's movements stopped abruptly.

A note that says - I want your eyes, I want your love.

Lian Yan looked at the note, went to get a gel pen, and added a word "no" in front of "I want your love".

I don't want your love anymore.

Lian Yan thought, I have enough, I don't want any more.

·

In the evening Shen Yiming came back, bought food outside and brought it back, it was still the same as before, he ordered an extra spicy dish, Lian Yan didn't want to see Shen Pingge, he always suspected that Shen Pingge would know his intentions, but Not to go and appear to cover up.

"This is very good," Shen Yiming picked up a chopstick of meat for Lian Yan, "Then you and Shen Pingge go to Beijing together, and I don't have to go with you, just have someone to take care of you."

Shen Pingge said, "There will be a teacher leading the team, so don't worry too much."

"You don't have to worry," Shen Yiming said with a smile, "Lian Yan is so stupid, she looks like a deceit, so I don't have to worry about it?"

Lian Yan smiled reluctantly, and after a few seconds of smiling, she lowered her head and went to eat.

There is no clear smell, and her mind seems to be dragged around, Lian Yan feels tired.

He desperately wanted to escape, so he ate very quickly, but Shen Pingge didn't eat much, so he said: "I won't eat."

"No appetite?" Shen Yiming looked at him.

"No," Shen Pingge said with a smile, "I drank milk tea with Lian Yan this afternoon, and I'm a little tired. I'm going to eat some fruit."

"also."

As soon as Shen Pingge left, Lian Yan relaxed all over, and he slowed down. Shen Yiming would chat with him occasionally, but because Lian Yan couldn't speak, he wouldn't chat with Lian Yan about more topics, most of the time Lian Yan just needs to nod and shake her head.

After eating, Lian Yan washed the dishes, the sound of water covered the sound outside, but she still seemed to be able to hear Shen Pingge's voice, Lian Yan turned down the sound of the water, and listened to Shen Pingge's words.

It's too far away and I can't hear you clearly.

He was always so far away from Shen Pingge, he obviously felt that they were very familiar, but was the self that Shen Pingge showed to him complete?

Lian Yan felt that he couldn't take it anymore, he wanted to tell Shen Pingge everything - as long as he wouldn't be tortured.

Wipe the wet bowls and chopsticks clean and put them in the cabinet, Lian Yan looked out at the moonlight, the dim moonlight, emotionally frustrated and self-loathing.

Wait a year.

Wait for a year, wait for him to be sixteen.

He confessed to Shen Pingge.

Lian Yan looked at the living room again, Shen Pingge was smiling, his brows and eyes were tightly drawn under the light, relaxed and decent, as if he and he were from two worlds.

Please please.

Wait for me.

Lian Yan thought in her heart.

Wait for me, I'm walking towards you.

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