i see your calling

Lian Yan clearly felt that there was a... monster in her heart?It was pitch-black, but the opened mouth was blood-red. It was obviously ferocious and terrifying, but it spoke weakly and timidly about love, but now the monster calmed down, and bowed its head in front of Shen Pingge.

They can be regarded as reconciled like this, I can't tell.Even though Shen Pingge still kissed him tenderly and bought him breakfast, he still felt that there was an abyss they couldn't overcome before, at least he didn't have the ability to jump over that abyss now, nor could he bear the consequences of being crushed, so he could only watch helplessly. The black strip lay in front of them.

He was asleep, but he was restless in the dream, Shen Pingge turned over casually, he woke up, and got out of bed barefoot, stubbornly trying to get into Shen Pingge's arms.

The next day, Shen Pingge had classes during the day, and Lian Yan knew that she might only stay here for one day, and she had no reason to continue to be willful. Why take it back?no need.

So he only brought his shriveled schoolbag, overnight clothes, the red marks on his cheeks when he slept, and his hands were empty.

But Shen Pingge didn't let him go. Seeing him tidying up upright, he said lazily, "Where are you going?"

Lian Yan looked at him blankly, and heard him say, "Let's go, I'll take you to class."

It was a surprise—I took him to their school. After all, the classroom seats are not fixed. They sat in the last row to listen to the open class. Lian Yan couldn't understand, but just held hands with Shen Pingge and sat under the table.It's like going back to when they were still in high school.

Sneaky, sweet and romantic.

He also met Xun Zhu, who looked at him sharply, recognized him, and said, "Hey, why are you here?"

"Listen to the class," Shen Pingge propped his chin and looked at the PPT, "The teacher is watching you."

Lian Yan's hands felt hot, and Shen Pingge clasped his hands tightly, as if he was afraid that he would lose them. The course had nothing to do with him, and sleepiness did not bother him. Lian Yan hesitated, and in Shen Pingge's textbook , write with a mechanical pencil.

- Brother, it hurts.

"Where does it hurt?" Shen Pingge whispered.

Lian Yan wrote: There it is.

Shen Pingge watched it for a while before realizing it, and said, "Does it hurt a lot?"

Lian Yan didn't speak, just laughed.Shen Pingge knew him best, and said, "It doesn't hurt that much, does it?"

Do not deny.But there are not many opportunities for him to say "pain". He is willing to say such words in front of Shen Pingge, and wants Shen Pingge to feel sorry for him, but Shen Pingge can see his thoughts at a glance, and said in his ear: " You were the one who kept pestering me last night, and I said no, but you still kissed me."

Well, the pain is also what he wants, and the complaint is also what he said, but Shen Pingge can't get away, this fact is established.

After class, he followed Shen Pingge around again, holding hands when there was no one else, and letting go when there was someone, a huge countdown was hanging in front of his eyes, Lian Yange cherished every minute and every second here, he and Shen Pingge Pinger walked together for a long time until noon, when he sat down in the cafeteria, his ankle started to hurt, but it was within a tolerable range.

He ordered a steak meal and bought him a cup of chocolate, but Shen Pingge just ate a burrito and had no appetite.

"I'll open an hour room later, and take a nap there with you," Shen Pingge ate slowly, as if he did everything in a leisurely manner, "then go back, don't delay you Class begins."

It seems that Shen Pingge can not only control his emotions, but also the taste of his food. Even the food is chewy, he shakes his head, puts down the spoon, and gestures: I have booked the ticket, and I will leave at one o'clock in the afternoon.

Shen Pingge was stunned for a moment, seemingly surprised: "Then I'll take you to the station."

Lian Yan shook her head again, lowered her eyes, silently mixed the sauce and rice, and put it into her mouth without stopping for a moment, she didn't know what she was running away from, when suddenly the back of her hand was heavy, and Shen Pingge lightly pressed his hand , looking into his eyes, asked him: "Lian Yan, what do you think is the problem between us?"

He rarely showed some confusion, let go of his hand, lowered his eyelashes, and said to himself: "It must be not only your fault, but also my fault, but where is my fault?"

"You know? I feel like you are a piece of glass that is about to shatter, but I don't know how to mend the cracks so that you can continue to be whole and have a longer lifespan," Shen Pingge's voice was uncompromising amidst the noise of the cafeteria. Clearly, Lian Yan had to work hard to hear what he was saying, "Did I tell you before that you are glass? You see, you gave yourself to me, and I didn't leave you whole."

Lian Yan blinked, the spoon sank into the sticky white rice.

"I'm a bit obsessive-compulsive, I have to pursue perfection in everything, but most of the time I can't be perfect, but in this matter with you, I want to try to be perfect, maybe we can," Shen Pingge laughed, Said softly, "Give me some time, let me find out the problems between us, I will correct my mistakes, and you will correct your mistakes, and we will slowly mend it together, okay?"

Lian Yan suddenly wanted to cry, he nodded vigorously, he didn't want to eat anymore, they left the cafeteria, and hugged for a long time in the woods behind, he felt that Shen Pingge seemed to be taller again, he put his head on Shen Pingge's shoulder Here, I feel comfortable and safe.He likes the feeling of embracing, it is very strong, as if he is going to be embedded in his flesh and blood, and no one can do without the other.

The leaves are still falling down, the wind blows, and they fall naturally, but Lianyan can't hear the whistling wind and the sound of the leaves degrading. He simulates the gunshot in his head, pretending that the bullet pierced his chest-so they will die together. embracing.

This is also enough.

·

Shen Pingge sent him to the station. Although he got on the train alone, and there was only a shadow in the window, his schoolbag was not dry anymore. Shen Pingge bought him a lot of sugar and chocolate, in case he would be hungry and commit suicide. Hypoglycemia, and told him: "Don't bring contraception / pregnancy / condoms / next time."

He was a little helpless: "As a brother, I have to ask you to buy condoms every time. How embarrassing."

Even though the abyss was still in front of them, Lian Yan chose to ignore it. As long as he liked it passionately at the moment, he agreed to Shen Pingge, threw the remaining covers into the trash can at the station, and began to look forward to the next time do/love.

This trip to Beijing took only one day. Even though they broke down the 24 hours and used every second to kiss, the time was still very short.In the car, Lian Yan dared to read the long message that Shen Pingge sent him last time.

Shen Pingge always seemed to be calm, but that message was flustered, asking him why, asking him what's wrong, and rationally analyzing why he loves him, but behind that very long message, he still said, If you feel that you don't want to continue, you should also come to see him and tell him the answer in person.

So Shen Pingge agreed to him, just as he came to give the answer?But he kept silent, and they all pretended nothing happened.

These words seemed to hurt, but Lian Yan read them many times, and didn't put down the phone until half of the battery was left.

Back to the old place, the weather is cloudy.Shen Yiming didn't find out about his departure - he had no reason to find out.Staying in the company all day, as busy as... Lian Yan thought of that childish metaphor, like a spinning top, so there was no time to worry about whether he went to a private meeting.

Turning around, there is no rest day, Lian Yan is often worried about his physical condition, he seems to have more gray hair than before, especially under the silver-white light.There was still a marathon-like stalemate between them, even if they were soft-hearted, they couldn't give Shen Yiming a reason to relax.

On Wednesday, Shen Yiming came back and asked him, "Is your foot okay?"

Much better.After that visit to Beijing, Lian Yan applied an ice pack, and the swelling barely subsided, and now there is basically no visible wound.He didn't know if it was normal to conceal this matter from Shen Pingge, but since the wound had healed, all this was no longer important.

In a blink of an eye, November is here. I heard that November in Beijing is very windy, dry and painful, but the wind here is not so strong, but the temperature cools down quickly. Lian Yan wears Shen Pingge's clothes confidently, but he has a small frame, so it is inevitable to wear them. Funny, wearing a black scarf, wrapped around a circle, a bit like Michelin tires.

What's the matter, it belongs to Shen Pingge, this is more important than others.

The author says:

The next chapter is going to be abusive...Be forewarned, I'm saving the manuscript, so this chapter doesn't have many words...