i see your calling

It's like playing Russian roulette*, the transparent revolver is pressed against the temple, who knows if the trigger is pulled, the gun is empty, or the bullet is empty, but Lian Yan is eager to shoot the bullet, so it should be over soon.When they got out of the taxi, they still didn't let go of their hands. They looked serious, not like they were coming out of the closet, but like they were going to jump off a cliff to die.

It's a pity that they are not interested in letting them die at night, Shen Yiming is not at home, they don't need to let go of their holding hands, Lian Yan is sweating all over from nervousness, she takes a long breath, smiles brightly at Shen Pingge, and hugs him , asking him to take a bath with himself.

First shot, empty.

They insisted on rebellion, holding hands aboveboard, but the second shot was still empty. Shen Yiming was busy with the branch office these two days and ignored them. He didn't go home. They drank beer in the villa and wet each other's legs at night. Eyelashes, picking winter jasmine as the weather warms up.This made Lian Yan gradually forget the revolver next to her temple.

The revolver is fired on the sixth day.

Lian Yan did not prepare for this day in advance. It was Friday, so there was no need for evening self-study. Lian Yan had a whim that day and wanted to take the bus, so Shen Pingge accompanied him to take the bus. In the last row, a dollar detour Around the city, the car was swaying, and there was noise outside, Lian Yan looked at the dying dusk outside, and felt her hands were cold, so she tried to put her hand into Shen Pingge's clothes, and borrowed his belly to warm her hands, and was beaten by Shen Pingge. He flicked his hand.

This is what Lian Yan found out recently. Shen Pingge is ticklish. Since Lian Yan found out, he loves to touch his waist. He thinks Shen Pingge has a good smile, but he is not strong enough. Every time he has to be caught, Lian Yan begs for mercy. Looking at him, Shen Pingge whispered in his ear: "Are you bad or not?"

Lian Yan said: I love you because I am the worst.

When they arrived at the station, they squeezed out of the car in the crowd, and it was pitch black. Lian Yan didn't know that Shen Yiming would be there when they entered the villa laughing and fighting, just like he didn't know that revolvers were good at murdering at night.The villa didn't even turn on the lights, it was pitch black, Shen Yiming was sitting on the sofa, Lian Yan was smiling, but the smile faded away, she didn't know how to let go of the hand she was holding with Shen Ping, but they still held each other.

Shen Pingge made the choice for him and held his hand tightly.

Shen Yiming said in a deep voice, "Are you willing to come back?"

Shen Pingge didn't turn on the light, but said softly, "Dad."

"Don't call me dad!" Shen Yiming suddenly raised his voice, stood up, pointed at them, and shouted, "I don't have a son like you!"

Lian Yan shivered violently, and subconsciously hid behind Shen Pingge, her palms were sweating, he could clearly feel Shen Pingge's clasping his hands, Lian Yan thought, would he be uneasy?

Shen Pingge was silent.

"No matter how disobedient you were before, no matter how disobedient you were, I would also feel that it was I who failed to teach you well and my father's negligence, so you are punishing me now, right?" Shen Yiming's voice was hoarse, as if he had aged several years , Lian Yan couldn't see his expression clearly, but only heard his voice, "Do you have to mess around!"

Shen Pingge opened his mouth after a while, speaking very slowly, he raised his eyes, "I don't think I'm fooling around."

Shen Yiming said: "This is gay!"

"I know."

"Now society is open, yes! That's right! But when you go out and hold hands, you can see if others will look at you, will they look down on you, will they talk behind your back, and call you disgusting and perverted! They call It's even worse than what I said," Shen Yi trembled all over, and even broke his voice, "Do you still want a future?!"

"Whether I have a future or not has nothing to do with whether I am gay or not." Shen Pingge calmed down and looked straight at him. It's their business, their fault. Since it was their fault, why should we change it?"

"Bastard!"

When that slap fell, no one expected that Lian Yan even forgot to breathe instinctively, opened her eyes wide, and by the cold light outside the villa, she could clearly see Shen Yiming's flushed eyes, which seemed to have a little tears, but it passed so fast that Lian Yan didn't see it clearly.

"Get out!" Shen Yiming roared, "Get out!"

April NO.13, sunny day, April's No.12 April Fool's Day - Lian Yan firmly believes that this is an April Fool's Day, and Shen Pingge seems to define this day as an April Fool's Day, touching his cheek, the red mark of the fingerprint It was too obvious, hot and hot, they were kicked out, he still laughed, and said for a while: "Ah... there is nowhere to go."

Lian Yan stood there without moving, and only reached out to touch his face after a while.

It’s too unkind. They have money in their mobile phones, but they don’t have an ID card. They have nowhere to go. They can’t go to that kind of regular hotel, but to that kind of small hotel. Dirty dust and moths, the hotel owner was lazy, without raising his head, with a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, filled with gray smoke, and asked, "Two rooms?"

Shen Pingge said: "A single room."

The boss was finally willing to look at them with naked eyes, laughed "Yo", and gave them a faded room card.

The environment of the room is also very poor, even the TV signal is not good, and the sheets are not clean. Lian Yan was sitting by the bed, Shen Pingge seemed to say something to him, but he didn't hear clearly, just clasped his hands and lit the bed. He didn't even dare to look at Shen Pingge's face, for fear of seeing his scars.

Shen Pingge went to take a bath, and he slowly came back to his senses, looked around in a daze, suspecting that this was a dream, but in the dream he rushed into the inferior bathroom again, the corners of the walls were yellowed, there was no bathtub, Shen Pingge finished washing , was drying his hair, and he pounced on him, hugged him tightly, kissed his left cheek, and kissed the finger marks on it.

Shen Pingge grabbed his hand and said, "It doesn't hurt."

Lian Yan still wanted to cry, but she heard Shen Pingge say: "My heart will hurt if you cry."

Lian Yan was not willing to let him hurt any more, did not shed a single tear, and obediently dried his hair for him, it seemed that nothing happened to them, they just changed their place to sleep, Shen Pingge was probably tired and didn't talk much At that moment, Lian Yan felt that she was a sinner.

Obviously it's just that he loves Shen Pingge, but he wants Shen Pingge to also love himself, sow discord between him and Shen Yiming, and ask Shen Pingge to give up so many things for him.He bound Shen Pingge and unilaterally decided to live and die together.

The courage accumulated in the taxi a few days ago collapsed. Lian Yan found that he was not ready to deal with all this. He didn't dare to ask Shen Pingge if he regretted it. He just followed him in everything. If he It was a cat, and Yomo turned over and exposed its belly to him, asking him to pet and touch it.

Turned off the lights, but it was still very noisy outside. The sound insulation of the hotel was poor. There seemed to be a couple next door. Lian Yan blushed and listened to their ambiguous groans and turned over. Shen Pingge didn’t sleep either. Looking at each other in the dark, Lian Yan wrote in the palm of his hand: What shall we do in the future?

"There must be a way for a car to reach the mountain," Shen Pingge said leisurely, lazily, probably tired, and then said, "The boat will naturally go straight when it reaches the bridge..."

The couple next door acted fiercely, mixed with some foul language, Lian Yan was really shy and helpless, but Shen Pingge covered his ears for him, blocking out most of the noise.

"I have nothing now," Shen Pingge finally stopped laughing, he said slowly with his lips, he knew that Lian Yan could understand.Lian Yan is now dumb and deaf, but he saw Shen Pingge's voice and said, "I only have you."

Shen Pingge is different from him - Shen Pingge has everything, but he originally had nothing, but now, Shen Pingge has lost everything, but he has a Shen Pingge.It's not fair.

But Lianyan chose to pretend to be deaf and dumb, and selfishly wanted to occupy Shen Pingge, even though he had nothing.

·

It was 03:30 in the morning when I received Shen Yiming's text message.

Shen Pingge went to bed early, breathing on the back of his neck, the lover next door was finally willing to calm down, it was very quiet at this time, he was easily awakened by the notification sound of the text message, the light on the screen was very bright, it hurt his eyes, but He still read the content of the text message clearly.

Shen Yiming posted at twelve o'clock in the morning: Where are you?

Lian Yan slowly took Shen Pingge's hand away, went to the bathroom lightly, and replied to Shen Yiming, saying that he lived in a hotel outside, and he was too afraid that Shen Yiming would get angry, so he lied and said that he had opened two rooms.But after posting, he felt cowardly again, and hated himself for no reason.

He waited for a long time, but he still didn't get Shen Yiming's reply.Drowsiness is gone too.

April [-]th—no, it’s April [-]th, I woke up from my dream, this April Fool’s Day joke reached its climax, the spring is flooding and passionate, only the ground below the feet is not favored, and I have to endure the severe cold, Lian Yan stood in the bathroom until dawn.

On Saturday, Lian Yan didn't want to wake him up early. He squatted beside the bed, looked at him fascinated, smiled unconsciously, stretched out his fingers to touch his hair, his cheeks were swollen, but the marks could still be seen, breathing It was so light that Lian Yan feared that he was still alive. When she put her hand under her nose, Shen Pingge spoke, but her eyes were still closed: "He's still alive."

Her legs went numb and she had hypoglycemia. When Lian Yan stood up, she felt dizzy and nauseated, and staggered.

"Why is it so cold?" Shen Pingge put his hand into his clothes, "Lie down for a while, I'll go buy breakfast."

They were impoverished overnight, even Yan had thought about it, if he went to the restaurant to wash the dishes, he would support Shen Pingge.Supporting his own hypoglycemia also nourishes Shen Pingge's noble appetite.

But it seems that he doesn't need to worry about money. Yang Zhi came in the afternoon with some cash and clothes. Shen Pingge gave him the villa's electronic password. Yang Zhi entered the villa like a thief and simply took some luggage, that's all. delivered.

At that time, he was still taking a nap, and the small voice woke him up. He dimly saw Shen Pingge's back, Yang Zhi sitting in front of him, and vaguely heard Yang Zhi asking him: "Why are you doing this? You are about to take the college entrance examination. "

"There is no conflict between the college entrance examination and falling in love."

"Have you made up your mind?" Yang Zhi said.

Lian Yan pretended to sleep with her eyes closed, and hid her hands under the quilt, clenched tightly.

"To tell the truth?" Shen Pingge lowered his head and laughed, "I haven't thought about it."

Lian Yan felt a sudden pain in his heart, fear almost overwhelmed him, and he couldn't even control the trembling.

"But for his sake, try."

Lian Yan clenched her teeth, resisting the soreness in her throat, but the corners of her eyes were still a little wet.

This age should be idealistic and romantic, dying for romance and abandoning material things for ideals. Only young people in their sixteenth and seventeenth years can do this kind of thing. Whatever purpose and result they want, even the end of the world must be kissed.He even exaggerated, thinking——Shen Pingge is synonymous with the Creator in the world, without him, he would not be able to live.

"If you are short of money, just tell us. Let me tell you, Du Chengzhou is going to college and has a lot of living expenses. You can take the opportunity to blackmail him." Yang Zhilin said before leaving, "Tan Yun and I also have money. In short, Don't resist yourself, if you really can't, just talk softly to your father, after all, it's your own, and it won't make things difficult for you."

"It's too long-winded," Shen Pingge said with a smile, "I will never die of hunger."

Just starve to death.

Romance comes first, ideals come first.

The author says:

[Russian Roulette] is a cruel gambling game.Unlike other gambling that uses poker, dice and other gambling tools, the gambling tools of Russian roulette are revolvers and human lives.The rules of Russian roulette are simple: put one or more bullets in the six chambers of the revolver, spin the wheel at will, and then close the wheel.Participants in the game take turns pointing the pistol at their own heads and pulling the trigger;