I woke up with an egg

"Don't watch it, don't watch it." Xie Yun quickly closed the open video, and closed the laptop by the way, his face was as red as a monkey's butt.

Di Jun looked up at him with a very serious expression: "Why don't you read it?"

Xie Yun quickly said, "This...is not very healthy."

Nonsence!

The main reason is that Xie Yun has never seen it before.

He didn't even watch the AV much. When he was a student, the male classmates secretly brought in the tablet in the dormitory. In the middle of the night, a group of boys watched it with their heads together. As a result, the whole dormitory didn't sleep well that night.

There were always people in the toilet, and Xie Yun happened to have a stomachache at night, but the toilet was occupied until the early morning.

There is no way, Xie Yun still went to the next bedroom to solve the domestic needs.

He himself can often see that kind of strange webpage, and it pops up by himself, but Xie Yun dare not click on it. What if there is a virus?

Xie Yun is not very rich, if there is a virus in the mobile phone or computer, it will cost a lot of money to repair it.

Di Jun nodded: "That's right, or don't wear it, it doesn't look good if you only wear it."

Well, he's talking about those three burly men in thongs.

Di Jun also said: "Don't practice that kind of muscle, it doesn't look good."

Pile up on the body like hard bumps, this kind can not be achieved by training, it needs to cooperate with injections and medicines, the training is not for strengthening the body, but just for viewing.

Xie Yun pinched the flesh on his stomach, and asked with a faint interest: "Can you see if you can lose the flesh on my stomach and get a few abdominal muscles?"

Di Jun looked at Xie Yun strangely: "Do you like abdominal muscles?"

Xie Yun nodded quickly, he felt that he couldn't do it by himself: "I like it, if it's too hot in summer, you can reveal your six-pack abs with just one lift of your clothes, how handsome it is."

Also very sexy.

"Oh." Di Jun replied slowly, "Then you have to practice by yourself."

Xie Yun had a mournful face: "Can't you help?"

Di Jun: "Anyway, you don't have abs, and I look good on you."

It seems that Di Jun will not let him have abs for nothing.

Di Jun suddenly asked: "In the film you showed me just now, what are they holding?"

Xie Yun almost became dumb.

If another person asked, such as Zhao Gongming, Xie Yun would definitely be able to say it without blushing, but it was different when Di Jun asked, he immediately became a little embarrassed.

"Huh?" Di Jun raised his eyebrows, as if he would not give up until he got an answer.

Xie Yun didn't know how to deal with it, so he could only frantically turn on the computer again to get the video out, but this time he changed the video to a one-on-one, which wasn't so exaggerated, and then said to Dijun : "Then what, you have to observe it yourself, I'll go out first."

After saying that, Xie Yun escaped from the room like a ghost chasing after him.

Di Jun frowned and watched the video seriously.

I didn't expect the technology of the human race to have so many functions.

Well, this posture should be written down.

What is that transparent thing?

Di Jun looked at it very seriously, like a student carefully reading the teacher's example essay, without any evil thoughts in his eyes.

Seriously, it doesn't look like watching this kind of restricted-rated movie.

After more than an hour, Xie Yun bit the bullet and walked into the room with tea, only to find that Di Jun hadn't looked at him and was sitting on the sofa in a daze.

Said it was in a daze, but in fact only Xie Yun could tell that Di Jun was in a daze.

Because Di Jun has very little expression, when he is silent, it will make people think that he is thinking, especially now, he is looking out the window without moving.

Xie Yun looked down at the teacup he was holding in his hand. The water temperature gradually dropped, and it didn't feel hot when he held it in his hand. The tea leaves sank to the bottom of the cup. There were only three or five tea stems floating on it. Xie Yun could smell the tea. The fragrance is a bit bitter, but also sweet, rushing to the tip of the nose, but it seems to be absent.

"What?" Xie Yun asked suddenly as he walked beside Di Jun.

Di Jun's expression didn't change: "That cloud is a bit like a golden egg."

After saying this, Di Jun realized who was asking him and what he said, so he turned his head away from looking at the cloud.

However, Xie Yun followed Di Jun's gaze just now and looked over. It was an oval cloud. I don't know what it took to become this shape. It really looked like a golden egg. Xie Yun laughed softly.

Di Jun's expression was a little awkward: "What are you laughing at?"

"It's nothing." Xie Yun sat next to Di Jun, the sofa was for two people, but the two of them never sat side by side on the sofa, and the TV opposite was never turned on.

For the first time in the history of Pangu, Xie Yun turned on the TV and tuned to a channel of a variety show. The variety show is a competition between the red and blue teams. It is equivalent to a road trip. It is quite funny. It looks like it has a script.

Xie Yun also went to get a bag of potato chips that he fried himself and handed it to Di Jun: "Do you want to eat it? I fried it myself."

Only then did Di Jun reach out to take a piece, and there was a crisp sound when his teeth bit down.

They watched TV together, very close to the ground. If Jindan and Xiaodan were here, plus a dog and a cat, it would be more like an ordinary family.

"Do you think that person is stupid?" Xie Yun laughed happily, leaning forward and backward, "Why didn't I find him so cheerful before."

Xie Yun often watches this show. There are two camps, one red and one blue. There are six permanent guests. The team leader is a man and a woman. They are all popular actors and are very popular. The man is a Hong Kong and Taiwan actor. He moved to the mainland, and then Hong Kong and Taiwan were in a downturn, but he stood firm. There are quite a lot of fans. The woman is a mainland actress who is famous for acting in mother-in-law and daughter-in-law dramas. Maybe Tai Yi still knows her.

The program is called "Overtime Project".

One episode a week usually lasts for more than two hours. Many people like to watch it. It is a long-lasting program, and every episode is very funny.

It's a pity that Di Jun couldn't get a laugh, only Xie Yun couldn't stop laughing, which was a bit embarrassing.

So Xie Yun couldn't laugh anymore.

The two of them just stared straight at each other, watching the funny scenes on TV with no expression on their faces.

After the broadcast was over, Di Jun commented: "It's quite funny."

Xie Yun's mouth twitched.

Di Jun picked up the tea that Xie Yun brought over, it was already cold, because it had been soaked for a long time, it tasted bitter after drinking it, Di Jun took a couple of sips without changing his face before putting it aside, if it was before, he wouldn't even touch it Will touch such a cold tea.

Watching TV with Di Jun is really boring, Xie Yun's drowsiness has come up, it's only [-] o'clock in the evening, not the time for Xie Yun to go to bed at all, but now he is sleepy and hastily took a shower in the bathroom , wearing only a pair of black boxers, then wiped his head casually with a towel, and lay down under the quilt to get ready to sleep.

Just when Xie Yun was about to fall asleep with his eyes closed, he held his head with one hand, put a towel on his hair, and rubbed it gently.

"Sleeping with wet hair will catch a cold." Di Jun's voice was very soft, as soft as a whisper.

Xie Yun yawned, and thought it made sense to say: "No, I slept like this when I was in school, and I never caught a cold."

Di Jun turned a deaf ear and just wiped Xie Yun's hair.

Both of them knew that Di Jun could do Xie Yun's hair with a little magic, but neither of them mentioned it.

Immortal magic can solve everything, but it can't solve the feelings in the dark, it can't solve the desire for intimacy.

Immortals are not omnipotent.

Xie Yun was wiped asleep just like that.

Di Jun touched Xie Yun's hair, it was dry and soft, just like the owner of the hair.

When he woke up in the morning, Xie Yun was still in a daze for a while. He felt his mouth hurt a little, especially his tongue. Could it be that he got angry?He groped to the side, and Di Jun was gone again. At this point, he must have gone out for a stroll with Golden Egg and Little Egg.

It’s already December today, and it’s getting colder, but it’s okay because the air conditioner is on, but the hotel doesn’t have a central air conditioner, so not every place is warm, Xie Yun stood in front of the wardrobe, and still put on a little A thinner down jacket, the thickest pair of jeans, and stockings, which cover the ankles and prevent the cold from invading and hurting the ankles.

Xie Yun was too thin in those two years in high school, no matter how much he ate, he didn't grow on himself, his health was not good, his legs hurt every time it rained, his classmates even joked that he was a mobile weather forecaster, young people with twins shouldn't have Old cold legs.

Since then, Xie Yun has been wearing tight clothes in winter.

When Xie Yun walked into the hall, he happened to see Qiao Nan chatting with Chen Meng. The two girls of similar age were when they were young, and when they got together, many people around them would look at them more.

Qiao Nan is not the same as before.

Although Qiao Nan used to always smile, he always looked cold and indifferent. The smile was fake, just a polite smile, giving people a feeling of alienation that was not easy to get in touch with, but this time Qiao Nan's smile is Sincerely, she is in a good mood, and this good mood also infects the people around her.

"And then?" Chen Meng asked a little excitedly.

Qiao Nan pursed her lips and smiled, and said in a low voice: "Then, he got into the situation, and I left only after I got the result. If my mother divorces him now, the legal part of the property will be my mother's."

Chen Meng exclaimed: "Clean up and leave the house."

Qiao Nan nodded: "He is the wrong party."

Chen Meng asked curiously, "What about his mistress?"

Qiao Nan's expression was very relaxed: "My mother went to her and said that if she wants, my mother can subsidize her to go back to school and let her go to university. It will be my father who spent the money to redeem himself."

Chen Meng was incredible: "Your mother doesn't hate her."

Qiao Nan sighed: "She just hit me, there are so many poor students, my dad just chose her, there are others without her, and my dad taught her...how should I put it."

Chen Meng listened attentively and curiously.

Qiao Nan: "She doesn't know anything except studying and my dad. She is a big fool. My dad got into trouble, and she wanted to sell the house to save my dad. My mom went to her, but she knelt down. I beg my mother not to mess with my father, she will go away immediately, far away."

Chen Meng suddenly felt a little uncomfortable.

She would rather that girl be a vain, superficial, shameless mistress who robs other men, so that it fits the theme of the story.

But when Qiao Nan said this, she felt sorry for the girl again.

Being bumped into by a pervert at such a young age, and being taught by the pervert to become like this, it's like a nurturing game. Whatever Qiao Nan's father likes, he can turn that girl into whatever he wants.

And the most frightening thing is that this girl didn't feel anything, she turned into a doll exclusively for Qiao Nan's father, and she didn't even realize it, thinking that this was true love.

Qiao Nan finally commented: "My dad is a piece of garbage, the kind who thinks the cesspit is clean when he throws it in. My dad will go in, and my mother will be relieved. Otherwise, I think she will keep pestering my dad. To hang around forever."

"It's best if Auntie thinks about it." Chen Meng patted Qiao Nan on the shoulder.

Qiao Nan smiled: "Don't talk about me, how about you? How are you doing recently? Last time, didn't you say that a boy asked you for a mobile phone number?"

Chen Meng was a little worried: "Hey, there is no topic, and I don't know what to say after a few words. Forget it, I look like I'm going to die alone."

Qiao Nan laughed sullenly: "By the way, didn't you say that your parents are coming to see you?"

Chen Meng nodded: "Yes, I guess it will be tonight. I said the mountain road is not easy to walk, and it's cold now, so I asked them to come back in the spring. They didn't listen and insisted on coming here now."

Although she is complaining, the smile on her face is not fake. Although she is an adult in her 20s, as long as her parents are there, she will always be a child.

They were chatting here, and Xie Yun was teaching Qian Duo over there.

Qian Duo drooped his head, looked pitiful, put his palms together and said to Xie Yun: "Boss, I was wrong, I thought you understood my hint, but you are so honest."

Xie Yun snorted: "Qian Duo, let me tell you, you are very unhealthy like this."

Qian Duo stretched out his hands to scratch his ears, and said stiffly, "What's wrong with you? I'm pretty healthy."

Xie Yun patted Qian Duo on the shoulder, and decided to treat him with his own way, so he leaned into Qian Duo's ear and said, "Just talking and not practicing fake moves, you see so much, there is room for practice." ?"

Qian Duo was stunned for two seconds, he didn't expect Xie Yun to say such words.

"Boss." Qian Duo reached out to touch Xie Yun's forehead, with a disbelief on his face, "You didn't take some medicine by mistake, did you?"

Xie Yun looked at Qian Duo with a half-smile.

Qian Duo pursed his lips: "You come to use me for entertainment. I thought, can you find a chance? I thought Hu Er looks good and has a good figure, but he doesn't look gay at first sight, so I don't want to go." Provoke good women and men."

Xie Yun almost choked on his own saliva: "A good woman?"

Qian Duo was rather proud: "I invented the word myself."

Xie Yun: "You call it an adaptation, and you even invented it, don't be so shameless."

Qian Duo sighed, and said in a low voice, "It's not easy for me, because I live in the same room as Hu Er, and I don't even dare to buy toys."

Now Xie Yun was really choked by the saliva, patted his chest, his face was red from coughing, and said in an exclamation tone: "You have a lot of money, you are awesome."

Qian Duo seemed a little shy, and said melancholy, "Who says it's not."

This look of feeling good about himself... Xie Yun felt that he was almost as rich as he was in money.

There are two employees in one room. Aunt Zhang and other cleaning ladies live in the town below the mountain, so they don’t live in a hotel. There is only one room for them. If one day they are too tired and don’t want to go back, They live in the room.

Chen Meng has a room for each person, there is no way, she is now the only female employee who is resident in the hotel.

Qian Duo and Hu Er lived in the same room, and they soon became good brothers shoulder to shoulder, but they talked about different topics when they saw people.

For example, when Hu Er said which girl was good-looking, he would say which boy had a good butt if he had more money.

Hu Er said that when a girl has long legs, Qian Duo is the guy who knows Ding Da at a glance.

Although they always talk to each other, their relationship is getting better and better.

It was so good that Lin Chao almost jumped in a hurry.

So Lin Chao has been showing up in front of Qian Duo lately, showing courtship secretly, but unfortunately, people all over the world can see what Lin Chao means for Qian Duo, and Qian Duo himself is stunned to see it.

Xie Yun: "You really don't think about Lin Chao?"

Qian Duo smiled at Xie Yun, with a more serious expression on his face: "Boss, you don't know, Lin Chao is different from me. He has been powerful since he was a child, he cultivated faster than other weasels, and he looks good. There will be no shortage of suitors."

"If I'm really with him, I will be afraid every day, afraid that when he finds true love, he will kick me." Qian Duo's smile actually has a hint of vicissitudes, "I don't even dare to think about it." , instead of living in fear all the time, I might as well not provoke it in the first place."

Xie Yun looked shocked: "You think a lot."

Qian Duo was also shocked: "Boss, haven't you thought about it?"

"What are you thinking? What are you thinking about?" Xie Yun said with a confused face, "It's fine if you like it now, even if you don't like it one day, you won't let down your current intentions. If you are afraid of what you will do in the future, don't do it. That's even stranger."

"It's like everyone knows that smog is bad for your health, but you still have to breathe."

"I know I'm going to work as soon as I graduate, but I still want to go to college."

"I know that the major I study may not be my job, but I still have to study hard."

Xie Yun made a final decision: "It's like you know that you will die one day, so don't you want to live now?"

Qian Duo was dumbfounded, and he stammered, "Boss, you, you still have this level of consciousness?"

Xie Yun said proudly: "This is what I see from my bosom friend."

Qian Duo didn't catch his breath, coughing so hard.

"But I think it makes sense." Xie Yun patted Qian Duo on the shoulder and said earnestly, "Don't wait for someone to leave and then regret why you didn't cherish it. No one is obliged to wait for you at the same place all the time."

Qian Duo didn't speak.

Xie Yun put down a bombshell: "Didn't you hang on to him just because he likes you and won't leave? You think you must be the one who was hurt, but why didn't you think that he has been killed by you now?" Are you bruised all over your body?"

Qian Duo's eyes were a little red, and he stretched out his hand to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. He was a little confused, and asked stupidly: "Then what about his family? His parents have always had great expectations for him. It’s so good, I think the child I will give birth to will definitely not be bad.”

Xie Yun thought for a while: "Then you better not be with him."

Qian Duo's eyes widened.

No, boss, can you unify your words?

Xie Yun said: "Look at me, I never cared what Yao Jun did before or what he went through, it doesn't matter. I only know what Yao Jun I know now, you can't just stare at the past, Don't just be afraid of the future, the most important thing is the present."

Qian Duo pondered for a while, and felt that what Xie Yun said made some sense.

He hesitated a bit: "Then I, go talk to him now."

Xie Yun encouraged: "Go, Pikachu!"

Qian Duo was really bouncing around.

His face was tense, and he looked deathly at home.

Xie Yun is still a little envious, it's really a sweet love trouble.

Chen Meng was watching a TV series, and Xie Yun went over to take a look boredly. The heroine in a small pink dress said to the hero, "I can't be with you."

The actor asked sadly, "Why?"

The heroine said: "I like boys with single eyelids, your eyelids are too deep."

Actor: "I'm going to have plastic surgery."

The heroine added: "I like boys who can dance."

The hero said: "I'll go to learn."

Actress: "I like boys who don't swear."

Actor: "Then I won't swear anymore."

Then the heroine cried, twisting her nose while crying: "But then it's not you."

The male protagonist understood something, a silly smile appeared on his face, and he handed over his handkerchief.

Chen Meng cupped her hands like a heart: "It's so romantic."

Xie Yun thought that Chen Meng would be moved by the boy's willingness to change his mind for the sake of the girl, but Chen Meng said: "Manman's snot came out, and Young Master Qiao didn't dislike her."

Xie Yun: "..."

Sure enough, the thinking is different.

Chen Meng also said: "When we are in a relationship, I feel that the other party is good everywhere. For example, I broke up with my first boyfriend because he farted next to me when I went to the movies with me. It stinks, I thought about it carefully, if I really marry him, then I will have to smell such stinky farts for the rest of my life, I think about it or forget it."

Xie Yun coughed lightly: "But there is no one who doesn't fart."

Chen Meng: "Yes, boss, let me tell you quietly, I found out that, except for the money, no one else in the hotel seems to fart."

Xie Yun: "...then what, I too..."

Chen Meng: "It doesn't count if I don't smell it."

It turned out that Chen Meng had a dog nose.

Chen Meng leaned into Xie Yun's ear and said, "Especially Mr. Yao Jun, not only did I not find him farting, I didn't even see him digging his nose and earwax."

Xie Yunru was struck by lightning.

Chen Meng was still a little worried and said, "Could Mr. Yao Jun be..."

Xie Yun was still swaying in the wind: "Huh?"

Chen Meng: "It's that kind, what is it, is there something wrong with the body's metabolism?"

Xie Yun took a deep breath: "He's fine, very fine, don't worry."

Chen Meng nodded: "That's fine, right, boss."

Xie Yun turned his head: "What's wrong?"

Chen Meng: "Mr. Yao Jun asked me to help him buy something online. I think it's a bit strange. Do you think you can buy it? Take a look."

Chen Meng opened the shopping cart.

Twenty boxes of Durex, the largest ultra-thin.

Three bottles of lubricant, strawberry flavored.

……

Let's not talk about these basic things, the following things made Xie Yunqing shudder in the daytime.

——Rabbit ears.

Cat earrings.

lion outfit.

The most insane thing is that there is also a bug style, which is a jumpsuit, a green caterpillar.

Chen Meng said worriedly: "I didn't realize that Mr. Yao Jun is so interesting."

Xie Yun sneezed, goosebumps arose.

Twenty boxes... I'm afraid he's going to be fucked to death?

The author has something to say: Di Jun: Immortals are not omnipotent, you must do it yourself.

Xie Yun (legs feel weak)