[Tutor] Lick the dog until nothing is left

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't see the end, no matter how he stretched out his hand, he was out of reach.

Everyone is saying congratulations to me, but they don't know that I have been stumbling on this uneven road for many, many years, and have tasted all the pain for it.

I still can't find the answer to the question, just like I can't get out of the deep cage now.

Could it be that I really came too late?

If I could have met him earlier, wouldn't it be possible to make up for the time I didn't experience with him, so that he would no longer have a reason to reject me?

It seems... that's not the case.

But what is the real reason, I am now unable to think about it anymore.

With one hand on my forehead, I cried and squatted down slowly against the cold wall.If it was in the past, I might still care about my image in front of him, but at this moment, I didn't think about anything, I just wanted to cry happily.

This is the feeling that I have suppressed for a whole ten years. There is countless sadness and bitterness accumulated in it. Accompanied by the contradictions and suspicions that gradually revealed after being together, it finally turned into tears that were hard to hold back, and it was revealed in front of him like this. exhaustive.

There are really too many problems between us, so many that I can't help but wonder if my original choice was correct.

I can't stop paying attention to every word he said, and I can't let go of the actions he once made, even though I know there are reasons to follow.

Things like feelings are often really unreasonable. I thought I was calm enough, but now I am still lost in the torrent.

Enough is enough.

Already... don't want to go on anymore.

"Natsu-chan..."

A shadow was cast on the top of the head, and it was Tsuna who followed my movements and squatted down bit by bit.I looked up at his face, only to find that his facial features had been mottled by my tears, only the emotion in his eyes was the clearest, like the only color on a blank scroll.

He looked at me, and there was something flickering in his brown eyes, full of struggle and shaking, and a fleeting moment of confusion.

In the end, his eyes froze, it was a kind of tenderness to the extreme, but there was pity and sorrow in the slightly frowned brows, as if he was also enduring some kind of unspeakable pain.

Tsuna stretched out his hand, and gently wiped the corners of my eyes with his fingertips, gently wiping away the tears that gathered there.Accompanied by his actions, the faint but familiar aroma gradually diffused in the air.

For some reason, I suddenly recalled that the same scene appeared on the rooftop many years ago.And what is the difference between us now and then?

In a daze, he had already leaned towards me, opened and closed his arms, and gently hugged me in his arms.Behind my head is the strength of his palm pressing me, not heavy, but very firm, just like the sound of his heartbeat constantly ringing in my ears, it is extremely real and powerful.

I turned my face to feel the warmth from his chest, and listened quietly for a while, as if being comforted by him, I gradually stopped my tears.

But at the same time, my mind became clearer than ever before. My gaze penetrated his arm and fell on the snow-white wall. I suddenly asked him: "I'm just that insignificant person, right?"

"Do not."

Tsuna hugged my arms tightly.

His voice was soft but firm, as if these words had been lingering in his mind for a long time, and finally found the right time.

"Whether it's the past, the present, or the distant future, only this idea has never changed."

"Natsu-chan is my important person, very...very important."

I know.

But... that's all.

I'm a very important person, but not the most important.

Between family and partners, he always seems to be able to easily distinguish everyone, and I am only his second choice at any time.

Whether it's Kyoko or his friends, he's used to asking about my situation only after he's finished comforting them.

Maybe I shouldn't be brave in front of him.But if you don't be stronger, how can you survive these long ten years?

At the moment when I saw him walk out of the room, I actually had a lot to say to him.Even if these hidden questions in my heart would only lead to quarrels, I wanted to pass them on to him, but now I regret it.

Many things in this world need to wait for an opportunity. If you miss it, it will be very difficult to speak again.

Once, I gave up again and again because of the fear and timidity in my heart, and I never dared to tell him what was in my heart.

And now, I don't want to talk anymore.

So far, it seems that there is nothing to hold on to.

Do I really like him?In fact, I still like it very much.

But just liking it is not enough to support me through these ten years.There is more in my heart, maybe there is still the unwillingness to get a response, and the persistence that is unwilling to give up lightly.

He has never been the only one who has been changed in these years. Even my feelings for him have changed step by step from the initial simplicity and enthusiasm to what it is now.

Perhaps we are not pure enough.

And it is precisely because of not being pure enough, losing the impulsiveness and indomitable courage when I was young, that I can't overcome all the ups and downs in front of me, and finally get what I am now.

It's really strange that two people are clearly embracing each other, but their hearts are so far apart.

'If you feel pain, why don't you just give up? '

Inappropriately, I recalled what Bai Lan had said in my mind. He really expected this day, and firmly believed that the relationship between me and Gang Ji would not last long.

And in fact it is, because I'm tired.

Since neither of them can open up to each other, why bother to be together?

Thinking of this, I used some force in my hand to gently push away the distance between him and me, just like what he did to me before.

"Let's break up, A Gang."

When I said this, tears welled up in my eyes uncontrollably. I tried hard to suppress them, but in the end I failed.

With tears in my eyes like this, I tried my best to raise the corners of my lips towards him, not wanting to look too embarrassed in my current appearance, but there was still a trace of tremor unconsciously in my voice.

"I don't know what this relationship means to you. You always don't tell me anything, which makes me feel very painful."

"So even though it was really important to me, I just didn't want to go on with it."

"I've... reached my limit."

Wherever he looked, his expression became blank in an instant.

I broke free from his embrace, stood up, and saw his eyes following me subconsciously, but there was nothing there.

Gangji's lips moved slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but he couldn't say anything.He seemed to have suddenly lost all the ability to speak, and looked at me in a daze, as if he still didn't understand what happened.

I suppressed the grief and intolerance in my heart, turned around and left in the direction I came from, without looking at him behind me.

Back in the room, I lay on my back on the soft bed and stayed alone for a long time, feeling that everything I experienced just now was like a dream.

Suddenly, I lost him.The miracle that only happens once in this life, I got it and then let it go.

False to a little confused.

After waiting for a long time, I sat up and took out my phone. I habitually wanted to block all his contact information, but I hesitated before doing it. After thinking for a while, I still didn't do it.

I am no longer the kid I was back then, and I don't need to use this method to save myself from sinking.And all things, I also want to have a beginning and an end, so I clicked on his chat bar, wanting to say something to him in the end.

I typed a very long paragraph, but in the end I deleted it word by word.The world of adults needs to be respectable, and I don't want to ask him for an explanation before we part like a resentful woman, because that is actually meaningless.

I chased him for ten years, and even once thought that the most important thing in this life was to be with him, but when my dream came true, I suddenly found that it was not as happy as I imagined.Unspeakable jealousy and suspicion clouded this relationship and brought us to where we are today.

I don't understand, this is obviously something I've been thinking about day and night for ten years, but why can't I feel happiness in the end?

If it was a wrong decision to choose to be with him at the beginning, then who am I to be with so that I won't be so sad?

Early the next morning, without disturbing anyone, I quietly left Pengo Li's headquarters.

Only at this time will I feel that it was the right thing for us not to publicize this relationship at the beginning, otherwise I would feel extremely embarrassed and embarrassing just thinking about what we will face after breaking up.

After that, Gangji sent me a message hoping to talk about it again, but I didn't reply, and pretended not to see it, and canceled the special concern ringtone I set for him before.

And after that, he soon had no time to take care of me.

With Li Baoen's death, Bai Lan's attacks never stopped, and the news that Gang Ji destroyed Pengo Lie's ring in public seemed to anger him, and at the same time made his behavior more unscrupulous.

The smile on Gangji’s face became less and less. We never mentioned the events of that day. Occasionally, when we met at the headquarters, he would stop unnaturally, and then stand in place and watch me pass by, with the expression still I was stunned for a moment.

But other than that, the state between us has changed, like strangers who are familiar with each other, I will give him a slight smile to prevent too many people from seeing the abnormality.

There are too many things he needs to take into account, I still can understand, and still like him like this, but I will no longer have illusions.

Like the end of the page, our story has also come to an end.

This unforgettable summer finally came to an end, and the time quietly came to September. I suddenly remembered that the things I promised Coulom before had not been fulfilled, so I asked the personnel for a long vacation and planned to go to Balian Deliver the ring to Fran.

It will probably take nearly a week, and I've thought long and hard before deciding on a date for my departure.

On the day I left Vengley's headquarters, the rainy sky finally cleared up. I hurried to the place where Fengtai was with my light luggage, hoping to catch a ride to the airport.

"Natsu-chan."

A familiar voice suddenly sounded in my ear, I was taken aback for a moment, then I looked back suddenly, only to see Gang Ji standing beside the gate, holding the stone pillar with one hand and panting slightly.

His forehead was covered with a thin layer of sweat, and his cheeks were slightly reddish, as if he had run all the way, trying to adjust his breathing.

Looking at his appearance, I always feel like I have seen this scene before, but before I can think about it, he has already strode towards me, raised his arms and embraced me in his arms.

"...What's the matter?" I was a little stunned, not quite understanding what he was trying to do, and stood there blankly for a while without responding.

There was his short and eager heartbeat due to strenuous exercise in my ear, and a gentle and hoarse voice sounded above my head. These two voices were intertwined, and I almost concentrated all my attention before I could hear him clearly. The words spoken at this moment.

"I've thought about what happened that day for a long time, but I still don't think I can just give up."

He hugged me tightly and buried his head in my neck, but his voice was not dull: "Of course, I'm not forcing Xia-chan not to break up with me, just a small request."

After saying this, Gangji slowly raised his head, and I also subconsciously looked at him.

Overhead is the brilliant clear sky of Sicily that has not been seen for a long time. Facing the bright sunshine, I can see him looking deeply into my eyes, which clearly reflects my appearance at the moment.Those eyes were so focused that it almost made me think that I was the only one left in his world, and there was nothing to divert his attention.

But we all know that this is just an assumption.

He stretched out a hand to cover the side of my face, his soft fingertips fell on the base of his ears, his eyes became complicated in vain, but the expression on his face was still soft.

"Maybe one day, I will go far away, but I will eventually come back here, to my friends and to you. So..."

He paused slightly, his brown eyes were stained with a trace of uneasiness and prayer that he might not even know about.

"Please wait a little longer, Natsu-chan."

He took a deep breath, and his gaze became firm in vain.

"When all this is over, I will definitely tell you everything."

"At that time, it doesn't matter if you are angry or you still don't want to forgive me, but at least... I won't hide anything from you anymore."

As he spoke, he bent down|, and gently pressed his forehead against me, and immediately my surroundings were filled with the faint scent of flowers on his body.

This is an extremely intimate gesture, and he seems to be conveying something to me through this action, so that even his expression looks so pious.

"Don't just leave like this, please wait for me..."

In the end, whispers like whispers came into my ears, and I looked at his drooping eyebrows and eyes close at hand, and suddenly felt that a certain corner in the deepest part of my heart was touched, and there were waves of ripples, mixed with obscure words. sorrow and grief.

The tip of his nose was sour, and tears filled his eyes unconsciously.

I suddenly had the urge to cry, but I tried my best to hold back, and said to him softly in a hoarse voice: "But, I have been waiting for you for a long time."

Gang Ji's expression was stunned suddenly, I stared at his usual clear and soft eyebrows, and suddenly felt that such a self was worthless.

I have waited for him for a long time, maybe it was the four months of our brief relationship, or maybe it was the ten years that seemed endless and long at the beginning, but no matter what kind of time it was, the result I waited for seemed to be the same makes me happy.And at this moment his plea seems to me only to aggravate my pain.

It's just a love affair that is sadder than others. In this relationship, I have never been sorry to anyone.

Now I am full of bumps and scars, and I have no strength to spend another ten years, waiting for unrealistic expectations.

If one day in the future, he can convince me, then maybe I will go back to him.

But definitely not all problems are not resolved now.

Thinking of this, I withdrew from his relaxed embrace, picked up my luggage and prepared to leave.

Facing the warm breeze and familiar scenery, the whirling Lin Tao seemed to be saying goodbye to me.

After taking two steps, I suddenly stopped and looked back at him, only to find that he was still standing there, the bright sunlight fell on his snow-white shirt, the light could almost sting my eyes, but it was so I remember deeply.

As if he didn't expect that I would turn back, Gang Ji was slightly startled, and then quickly curled the corners of his lips, showing me a smile, the real emotions in his eyes were submerged in the sunshine.

I also smiled at him, and couldn't help saying softly: "Goodbye, Ah Gang."

Goodbye, this painful but unforgettable time.

The author has something to say: Merry Christmas in advance_(:з)∠)_

Thanks to Xiaotong, Pa Bibi, and dva's strongest three little cute mines, and thanks to dva's strongest and cutest two rocket launchers, love each other!