I accidentally died yesterday [comprehensive]

Returning to Tokyo from the Izu Peninsula, even though he has been away for quite some time, the floor of the rental house is still very clean, but for the sake of hygiene, one person and one cat still roll up their sleeves and start working. Kiemon holds a broom and walks from the west side of the living room Sweeping to the east of the living room, under his hard work, there were more cat hairs floating in the room...

Kurokawa wrung out the rag and washed his hands again, took out the tape and wrapped it around his hands, bent down, and used the adhesive side to stick it on the ground, the cat hairs flying everywhere were tightly stuck to the tape .

After Kiemon put the broom at the door, he saw Kurokawa half-kneeling on the mat and glued the cat's fur, and the cat's face made an apologetic expression: "Oh, oh, I'm really sorry."

"I'll join in too!"

He yelled, and regardless of Heichuan's obstruction, he wrapped a circle of tape around the wrist of the cat's claw.

then……

stuck.

Heichuan shook his head, and found scissors to cut off all the cat's hair stuck by the tape.

Grandpa Kiemon has a big bald spot on his right paw.

"Tsk tsk tsk."

Kiemon watched the paws making noise continuously, with a look of grievance and helplessness.

"It's outrageous."

"How can you cut so much?"

Hei Chuan leaned over and took a look: "I'm already very careful."

"Is it ugly?"

Kiemon pouted and nodded: "I'm still a big internet celebrity with millions of fans."

"It's okay to pay attention to the image a little bit."

"That's it."

Kurokawa thought about it.

Ask Kiemon to close his eyes, he wants to give Kiemon a surprise.

Kiemon felt that after Kurokawa came back from traveling, his aesthetics were improved immediately. For example, the wood carvings carved for him were very beautiful. Even now, some people are tirelessly asking him to sell a few more sets on the Internet.

Kiemon obediently closed his eyes.

"Stand up straight—"

"No, lie down."

Kiemon obediently lay down on his side.

He moved his cat ears and heard a few clicks of scissors.

"Hey - what are you doing?"

"A surprise, don't open your eyes."

Kurokawa warned carefully.

After two or three minutes, "Okay."

Hearing this order, Kiemon immediately jumped up...how does it feel, chilly?

He looked down at his four paws.

...totally bald.

The fur on the wrist was cut off a circle, leaving four furball-like claws.

Kiemon raised his head and saw Kurokawa clicking twice with the scissors: "There is still a tail, do you want to go together?"

do not.

This is more like a poodle.

……

In recent months, Kiemon has been doing live broadcasts at night. Sometimes it’s purely cute, sometimes it’s chatting, and sometimes it’s playing games. However, when playing games, because the cat’s claws are not easy to control the controller, Kurokawa usually comes forward Come to be a tool man, Kiemon said that Kurokawa would never move to the right when controlling the character to the left, and contributed a pair of tool hands very considerately and obediently.

He started the live broadcast tonight, and the audience who were already waiting in the live broadcast room began to send words like "kiss" and "momo", all of whom were senior members of the Cloud Cat Breeding Association.

"Kiemon, did you just come back from a trip?"

"Is there any scenery you want to share with us?"

Someone noticed that Kiemon only showed a big cat face like a round pancake, the corners of his eyes drooped as if he was thinking about something, and asked with concern, "What's wrong, are you sick?"

Then he started typing on the keyboard: "up, you should pay attention to Kiemon's health, don't tire him too much."

Up to now, some people still think that there is a human being behind Kiemon’s account, and this cat is a gimmick for him to attract traffic, and it is a special form of performance, but everyone likes it very much.

Kiemon raised his two front paws: "Look at my paws."

In order to be more intuitive, Kiemon leaned up directly and raised his front and rear four paws.

"Teacher Tony, cut me a new look."

"So I won't be able to show my whole body for Kiemon next time."

"Hey--"

"Like a fluffy ball."

"so cute."

"Hahaha Kiemon, you look like a lady."

To Kiemon's surprise, everyone liked his new image very much.

Kiemon turned over and stared at the barrage for a while: "—Really?"

Then whispered: "This guy's aesthetics are not bad."

Danmaku was amused by Kiemon.

"What are you talking about, Mr. Tony?"

"It must be up."

"Hahahaha I didn't contribute a single hand for up today, I must have made a new look and was kicked out of the house by Kiemon."

During the live broadcast of Kiemon, in addition to the members of Yunyangmao, there were also people who stayed after entering the live broadcast by mistake. Most of them liked the interaction between the tool man up and Kiemon.

"Hey? Why isn't the tool man here today?"

"Where did you go?"

Kurokawa once said himself: "Master Kiemon, please treat me as a tool man."

Therefore, it is also nicknamed tool man by fans.

Kiemon turned his head to the side and tried to find an excuse: "Well..."

"I was in a bad mood just now."

"He went to the supermarket to buy cat food."

There was a knock on the door.

Not to mention the barrage, I know that the tool man is back.

I saw Kiemon disappearing from the screen with a swoop, and then I heard Kiemon's familiar voice say in the barrage, "I'm sorry that I misunderstood you today hahahaha."

The other voice is that of the instrumental man.

The tool man seldom speaks and is a little strange.

"It was my own initiative that made you sad, sir."

"Apologizing is also due."

There was a sound of plastic bags snorting, and only Kiemon's surprised voice was heard: "Wow~ It's my favorite kind."

Not long after, the barrage saw Kiemon walking to the screen with a jar in his mouth, and began to eat, "Today's theme is eating and broadcasting."

"Everyone is welcome to eat with me."

"Haha."

"Master Kiemon, who wants to eat cat food with you?"

"Cat food is delicious, too."

"The you in front of me seem to have exposed something."

Kiemon looked up to the right after taking two bites, and the bullet screen saw him looking towards the living room, "What are you doing?"

"Yes……"

The tool man said: "Statue."

"I remember you really like it too."

"It's a pity that all the statues were sold out last time, and there is no set left for you."

Next, the barrage saw how Kiemon changed from surprise to teary-eyed throughout the barrage.

In three or two steps, he walked over and meowed: "Oh, you really grew up and became so considerate."

What's the matter with this old father's sense of déjà vu.

In the next bullet screen, Kiemon's wrinkled, chrysanthemum-like face was instantly filled with collagen, and his eyes

Yes, the tool man came over and sat down in front of the screen showing his hands, and Kiemon rubbed against him with the kindness of an old father on his face.

Even when playing games, it is much gentler.

In the past, Kurokawa was a rookie.

Kiemon said: "It's better than you to throw cat food on the keyboard and beat it."

He dislikes that Kurokawa's technology can't keep up with his inhuman operational awareness.

Now Kurokawa is still a rookie.

Kiemon said, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, how did you come up with such a god-like technique~"

"..."

"What a..."

"Licking the cat..."

The bullet screen said so.

Tonight, Uncle Kiemon chose a competitive game, which has become very popular all over the world recently. Basically, when the live broadcast is opened, there are [-] windows playing it.

Kiemon also picked this game.

But because Kurokawa is a rookie.

Kiemon's game experience is not very good.

One person and one cat basically come and go in the enthusiastic atmosphere of "one more shot", "reopening" and "ask if the up will die in three seconds or five seconds".

"Double row, maybe I can find a big boss to take it with me."

"Are you finally going to harm passers-by?"

"Kiemon may have to contribute a cat's hair to appease the anger of passers-by."

Kurokawa withdrew from the game, clicked on the double row in the upper right corner of the interface, and selected the map of Prisoner's Island. After waiting for about three seconds, a female figure entered the waiting room, with blue-green hair and twin ponytails, and eyes of the same color, as if in cos Hatsune, the ID is a bunch of garbled characters with no clear meaning.

As soon as he entered the room, Kiemon hadn't greeted him yet, but the other party's microphone flickered: "Wow, look what happened to me."

"Meet a super amazing person."

"I'm Naoko, please take care of me."

"Is Naoko a girl?"

The barrage in the live broadcast room asked.

"It's really lucky to be matched with a young lady."

"That's it~"

Mr. Garbled Code suddenly replied.

"Let's just be a girl."

"Hey?"

Everyone in the live broadcast room was surprised: "How does she know what we are talking about?"

"Isn't he also paying attention to this room?"

"What's the matter with girls?"

"Is it... the middle gender?"

"Hey hey hey."

"It's a secret."

Naoko answered mysteriously, and then cheerfully sent a request to Kiemon and Kurokawa: "Let's get into the game quickly, we can't wait."

The interface counted down to [-], [-], [-], [-], and soon entered the first landing site of Prisoner's Island. As soon as the characters of Kurokawa and Naoko appeared, Naoko heard Naoko say: "Leave everything to me, play with humans... really It’s the same as playing house.”

"Speaking such big words."

"It must be well-thought-out."

"Such a mad lady?"

Kurokawa nodded dispensably, he is a rookie, and rookie has no right to speak in e-sports.

Kiemon was full of doubts, but he didn't say anything, "Let's work hard together." As soon as he finished speaking, he saw Naoko kill a person in twos and twos, then searched for equipment and went straight to the next supply point, after crossing the forest Many people had ambushed around the supply point, and Naoko hid in a spot, then turned around and waved to Kurokawa: "You can hide here."

Naoko typed a heart in the chat box.

"I would be very sad if I died."

"Others bring a sister."

"The anchor was taken by my sister."

Kurokawa manipulated the mission to go to the hiding point, and then squatted down, only to see Naoko rushing out, first killing a player lurking in the grass under the tree, then using the control character to climb up the tree two or three times, and using a knife to kill the player on top of the tree. Players are also killed.

After searching for equipment, the crossbow-arrow was formed, and everything was just right.

"Aren't I great~" Naoko raised her voice at the end of her words, and as soon as she finished speaking, she killed a player in the distance with a crossbow-arrow, and then quickly changed the ambush location.

Three people died in a row, and there was a commotion in the hidden forest immediately. Naoko fished in troubled waters, cleaned up all the players around, and called Kurokawa out.

At this time, the live broadcast room was already churning.

Although everyone on the Internet is a super god player, but under Naoko's operation, he is still willing to bow down.

They watched Heichuan, a rookie, be brought to the top of the list.

"hateful."

"What made me shed tears of envy."

A golden light lit up on the screen, and the little golden crown representing the champion slowly fell on the character image controlled by Kurokawa.

"It's really hard work to become a champion..."

Kiemon licked his paw, and the cat's face sighed very much, causing the barrage to complain: "Kiemon, you are not qualified to say that."

Naoko didn't leave, and stopped in the waiting room with Kurokawa, "Hmph~ It's very easy to become the champion, let's play a round, okay okay."

Kiemon nodded, and Kurokawa said the next sentence. In this game, they met three professional team players. They were the kind of team that won the regional finals. When they entered the field, they saw the names of some big guys. The barrage of "It's over" or "Hurry up, the boss team, we are in a hurry to start the next one".

Unexpectedly, it fell into the hands of Naoko, and Naoko killed the character as if he had opened his eyes.

Kiemon's face widened again in fright, "Naoko, are you a professional player?"

Like Kiemon, there is also Danmaku who is as scared as Kiemon, and they all think that Naoko is simply amazing.

"Of course not, I just played... for less than three hours."

Before Kiemon could speak, I heard Naoko say, "Why didn't the other little brother speak up~ It would be fun for the three of us to play games together."

"Let's go up."

"It's hard work being a cat."

"If this continues, I'm afraid we will be booked in a mental hospital."

This group of bullet screens brushed past, and some newcomers slowly typed a question mark: "What? Is this just up?"

"how?"

"You don't really think Kiemon can talk, do you?"

"Woooooooo my pure teenage feelings were deceived by up."

"By the way, Up's voice changer is really good."

Kiemon leaned in front of the screen and stared solemnly at the barrage: "My unique voice can't be adjusted by a voice changer."

"Yes Yes Yes."

"Hahahaha we all know the truth but we don't expose him."

"By the way, Miss Naoko just said that she only played the game for three hours..."

"Based on Miss Sister's skills, I would believe her when she said she just played for three seconds."

"boast."

"how could it be possible."

"It must be here to catch the heat."

Naoko's microphone flickered, and her voice was aggrieved, "I'm not lying."

Speaking of which, her tone is very similar to Hatsune Miku. Someone asked in the barrage if the voice package of Hatsune Miku was used. Naoko seemed to have seen it, and said straightforwardly: "Yeah, it is indeed the voice system of Hatsune Miku. .”

"There is no way to do this, who makes everyone like it very much."

Not long after, the bullet screen was full of words: "Meet Your Royal Highness the Princess."

Someone also asked Naoko where the live broadcast was, "Show us the way."

"I don't have a studio."

"But there is indeed an address, everyone can find me by going to the iserch website~"

After saying this, Naoko seemed to think of something, and in a panic, He Kiemon apologized to Kurokawa: "I'm sorry, sorry, I said it accidentally--I'm very sorry, I will definitely pay attention next time."

"What are you paying attention to?"

Kiemon turned off the microphone, turned to Kurokawa and said, "Is this person a little strange?"

Kiemon felt that Naoko was very subtle from the beginning to the end... Where is it?

"QVQ."

Naoko wrote an emoji in the chat box in the waiting room, "What's so strange about him?"

Let's not talk about how confused it is in the barrage.

At least Kiemon was so frightened that the fur of the cat exploded.

He jumped up and looked left and right, very sure and sure that he turned off the microphone, "What are you!"

Kiemon arched his body like a beast ready to go, "Get out."

Because the microphone was turned off, I was confused in the studio and didn't know what Kiemon and Naoko were doing.

"It's a monster."

This kind of thing that cannot be judged by common sense must be a monster.

At this time, Kurokawa's mobile phone next to him lit up, and a voice prompt said that he had received an email.

Kiemon looked at the phone vigilantly, Kurokawa picked it up indifferently and opened it, and found a sentence in the email: "I am not a monster."

Then a friend request popped up on the communication software, and the applicant's id was "Naozi".

"Come on, please."

Kiemon leaned on Kurokawa's lap on tiptoe, straightened his body just enough to see the application: "Let's not do it."

He was vigilant: "What if it's some urban ghost talk monster."

"QVQ."

Naoko posted an aggrieved expression in the application box.

"Not at all."

"I'm just like you, Kiemon."

"It's God."