ABO white night dreaming

In Huo Yan's memory, he has not cried for a long time. The last time was when Tang Wen passed away. He locked himself at home and shed tears for two days. City to study.Afterwards, he seemed to have lost the ability to cry. Even though Yan Hong passed away, he still felt very sad, and he never cried because of it.

But at this moment, he suddenly felt very painful and sad. Originally, he was hiding in the bed and weeping secretly, without even making a sound. After hugging Yu Mingye, an indescribable grief suddenly came to his heart, and he began to cry uncontrollably. cry.

As if he wanted to make up for the time he hadn't cried in these years, he cried out of breath, like a child who was left alone after a fall, both wronged and uncomfortable, sobbing and lying on Yu Mingye's shoulder , He didn't stop until his voice became hoarse from crying.

"Yan Yan," Yu Mingye could only coax him to keep patting him on the back lightly, comforting his broken emotions with guilt and sadness, "I'm sorry, it's my fault, I'm sorry."

Ever since he made the decision to abort the child for Huo Yan, Huo Yan hasn't had a good night's sleep. A few days before the operation, he even had to rely on drugs to fall asleep.But even though he managed to fall asleep with drugs, his sleep quality was still not good, and his sleep was so restless that he lost a few rounds of weight compared to before, and now he was holding him in his arms like a piece of paper, thin, as if he would lose weight when he exerted himself. was crushed.

If possible, Yu Mingye would like to bear all these for Huo Yan.But Huo Yan's emotions have already collapsed. If he is not the backbone of the other party, they will fall apart together, fall into a ball and never stand up again.

After crying, Huo Yan could barely utter a sound, sobbing softly like a kitten in his arms, Yu Mingye ignored what he said, until a nurse knocked on the door to change his dressing, he realized how long he had been crying, Burying her face into Yu Mingye's arms, she stopped making any sound.

The wound left by the operation was closed with special sutures, which can gradually heal itself. Seeing that Huo Yan was emotionally unstable, the nurse simply asked about the recovery of the wound, and left without saying anything.

After she closed the door and left, the room was quiet again. Yu Mingye took Huo Yan out of his arms, wiped his tear-stained cheek with his thumb, then lowered his head and kissed his swollen eyes, coaxing: "Stop crying, let's have a good talk, huh?"

"...I don't want to talk to you." After a while, Huo Yan said hoarsely.

Every time he talked with Yu Mingye, nothing good happened, he was almost used to it.But looking at the current situation, he really couldn't think of anything worse that could happen. Everything is terrible, so what else is there to talk about?

Yu Mingye called his name helplessly: "Yanyan."

Huo Yan's eyes were swollen from crying, and even his eyelashes were wet. He stubbornly turned his eyes away and refused to look at him. Yu Mingye held his face and forced him to turn his head to look at him. Huo Yan simply closed his eyes and said nothing. look.

His face was not as big as Yu Mingye's hand, his chin was so thin that his chin was pointed, and his eyes looked bigger and bigger. Even though he was /red/swollen from crying, he was still very cute.Yu Mingye had no choice but to lean against the head of the bed and sat down on his lap, holding Huo Yanqi on his lap, then hugging him with the quilt in his arms, turned his head and kissed his ear, saying: " Then let's not talk, you listen to me, okay?"

Without waiting for Huo Yan to answer him, he continued: "The reason for the child's matter is that I was not cautious enough. Knowing that there is a very low probability of getting you pregnant without marking, I am still very irrational..."

"It's my problem." Huo Yan interrupted him abruptly, "I wouldn't have come to this point."

Yu Mingye stopped to listen to him, but he said, "I shouldn't have promised you to register your marriage first."

Huo Yan thought, it's already like this anyway, since Yu Mingye wants to talk, then they should be open and honest, and clarify all the issues that were avoided and ignored on purpose before.

"I was not ready to start a family at all, let alone have a child. The reason why I made a wrong step and made it to this point is all because of you."

He almost unreasonably blamed Yu Mingye for all the reasons, but finally came to a conclusion like a sharp turn: "It's all because I like you that I did so many stupid things."

It was the first time he admitted that he liked Yu Mingye so bluntly, but in the messy situation in front of him, he was still wearing a sterile hospital gown, his face was full of tears and he didn't even bother to wipe his voice. All because of crying for a long time, she became hoarse and terribly embarrassed.

"I shouldn't do this." Huo Yan whispered.

He just made a lot of decisions in his head, including letting Yu Mingye bite him, including registering his marriage with Yu Mingye, and including wanting to keep this child or get rid of this child-he became less like himself when making these decisions, Tang After Wen passed away, those things that he was determined to hold on to were all disintegrated step by step after meeting Yu Mingye, and in the end there was nothing left.

It's impossible to say that he doesn't blame Yu Mingye.But he couldn't say anything to blame, because Yu Mingye also paid a lot for this relationship, he was not alone, the other party was holding his hand all the time.

It is wrong to only attribute the immediate results to the other party.

Huo Yan was always awake when he was on the operating table, even more awake than any second in the past few days of severe insomnia. He thought a lot about the future of him and Yu Mingye, about the whereabouts of this child, and about what he would do next. How to do it... He thought for a long time, until the doctor said that the operation was over, he suddenly came back to his senses and found a tear hanging from the corner of his eye.

He was in pain and felt very sad, so where could Yu Mingye get better?

Feeling the strength with which the man squeezed his wrist, Huo Yan thought, the difference might not be too far.

He stopped talking, and he didn't mention what decision he had made until the end, but Yu Mingye waited for his emotions to subside and then lowered his head and kissed the top of his hair, and said, "I've set aside the time for the next month. , not going anywhere, just stay with you all the time. When you recover your body, let's go on a trip together, okay?"

Huo Yan nodded and said, "Okay."

After two days in the hospital, he was taken home to recuperate.Aunt Wen's heart ached so much that she tried her best every day to cook Huo Yan's favorite dishes, hoping that he would eat more to recover faster.But Huo Yan's appetite didn't improve after he was discharged from the hospital. He still only ate half a bowl for each meal, and he didn't feel like going out during the day. He almost spent most of his time in the studio, not even going to the rooftop.

She wanted Yu Mingye to coax Huo Yan, but found that Yu Mingye didn't have any opinion about it, and stayed with Huo Yan in the studio every day. As long as Huo Yan wanted to paint, he would sit quietly and act as a model without saying a word. More to say, it looks like a quiet and handsome sculpture.

There seems to be a tacit understanding between these two people than before, which should be regarded as a good thing to some extent.

The first time Huo Yan showed Yu Mingye the sketchbook he had hidden away was on a sunny afternoon.He huddled in the lazy sofa in the studio, a bit reluctant, but still shared his private collection with the model himself.Yu Mingye leaned against the wall and stood behind him, reached out to take the sketchbook full of drawings, and admired the changes in Huo Yan's writing for so long with the sunlight coming in from the open balcony door.

He discovered that Huo Yan seemed to have a special liking for his eyes. Some of the sketches were quite sloppy, some parts were blacked out with just a few strokes, but almost every picture contained eyes.

The eyes may be different, calm or smiling, and occasionally a little angry, but even a layman like Yu Mingye can see that the person who drew them was drawn with emotion.

He lowered his head to look at Huo Yan, but only saw the hair spinning on the top of Huo Yan's head. He could neither make eye contact nor read the expression on the other's face.Silent communication was fruitless, and finally Yu Mingye had to take the initiative to ask: "Why have you kept hiding it from me?"

Huo Yan still lowered his head to draw a new essay, without raising his head, he said, "What if you take it away?"

Yu Mingye expressed his doubts with his eyes, but it was a pity that Huo Yan couldn't see it. It took him a while to realize that he might not have understood what he wanted to express, and added: "I want to keep it as a souvenir after the breakup."

Given their state at the time, Huo Yan wouldn't find it strange at all that they were going to break up.And he and Yu Mingye almost didn't even have a group photo together, and he could only rely on his own paintings if he wanted to see things and think about others.

As for why he is willing to take out the sketchbook now, the meaning is quite obvious, and Yu Mingye doesn't need to ask any more.He slowly turned over every page in the book, and when he reached the last page, the picture suddenly changed from the previous black and white to a magnificent color.

There are no longer only the black traces left by pencils. On this page, oil pastels are used to smear the colors, and Yu Mingye’s face is rarely drawn. There is only a back figure standing under the vast sky, with the intersection of blue, purple and red gold in front of him. , as if the dusk hadn't had time to pass, it had transitioned to the dawn of the next day.

"This is a picture of a painting." Huo Yan said.

Yu Mingye nodded: "I know."

He does know which photo Huo Yan drew. Once he forced the other party to work with him. Huo Yan felt bored and took his tablet to play games. The background of the desktop was the picture that was drawn. .Yu Mingye often traveled around when he was studying abroad. He had no travel companions, and he didn't like to take pictures of himself, so most of the photos he left were landscape photos, and this one is no exception. Also added in.

"Want to watch it?" Yu Mingye asked him, "I'll take you there in a while."

That photo was taken in a white night near the polar circle in northern Europe. It was very cold at that time. He rented a car and drove a long way. Finally, he took a few photos at the end of a deserted canyon, and drove back after sitting alone for a while. .At that time, he thought it was enough for him to appreciate the scenery, and the photos were just icing on the cake, but now that there is another person who also likes it, Yu Mingye thinks it would be good to take Huo Yan there again.

"Okay? Yanyan." He thought about it and asked again.

Huo Yan drew the last stroke, nodded, and said, "Okay."