paranoia

It was already the early morning of the next day when Song Wanzhou dragged his exhausted body back to the community, five and a half hours had passed since the call time he and Song Jing had set.

After chatting with He Yu's mother, Song Wanzhou was worried that she would stay in the hospital alone to go through the unfamiliar procedures because of her emotional instability, so she had to ask for leave and stayed with her until He Yu's father came late.

The polished mirror of the elevator reflected Song Wanzhou's overly haggard face. His mouth was chapped and white after not touching it all day, and he even felt the slightest bit of pain when he massaged. He usually pays special attention to his image. At this moment, he has absolutely no extra energy to tidy up his disheveled hair, his forehead is greasy, and even his clothes are crumpled. He looks listless and a bit sloppy.

He couldn't help thinking, when was the last time he couldn't care about his image?

ten years ago?or longer?

Looking at the mirror, Song Wanzhou gently twitched the corners of his mouth, but with stiff facial muscles, he could only make a reluctant, more bitter smile.

With a heavy heart, he couldn't make a relaxed expression without burden.

Song Wanzhou worked hard a few times, but found that the more he smiled, the uglier he looked, it was better to curl his lips to look natural.

After trying to no avail, he quietly leaned against the mirror, lowered his eyes weakly, his eyelashes trembling slightly, concealing the obvious loneliness and discomfort in his eyes.

Feeling helpless and frustrated, Song Wanzhou has always been unwilling to show a weak image to others. He thought, fortunately, Song Jing is not at home. Compared with other people, he does not want to be seen by Song Jing in such a lonely state. .

He is the older brother, and he should be the one standing in front of Song Jing, not the one hiding behind Song Jing.

Song Wanzhou raised his hand and looked at his watch, only to realize that the time had passed long ago, but at this moment he couldn't get up the energy to think about how to explain it.

He didn't even know if Song Jing was still waiting for his call, would he be able to maintain his usual calmness and talk to Song Jing normally.

He is so tired.

So far, Song Wanzhou's body has been exhausted to the extreme, his eyelids are getting heavier and he is physically tired, but his tense nerves do not allow him to relax for a moment, forcing him to chew repeatedly in his mind, Digestive stalks in my heart, hard to swallow words.

After the elevator doors opened, what greeted the eyes was the same darkness as usual.

The light from the elevator was swallowed by the darkness before it could spread further, leaving only vague communication.

It has been several days since the last report for repairs, and the property still failed to contact the maintenance worker in time to replace the light bulb.

Still not used to the darkness, Song Wanzhou's legs were a little weak, his brows were slightly frowned, his pupils dilated, and he hesitated whether to go back.

After all, the only lighting tool on his body, the mobile phone, has long been out of power.

The elevator didn't give him a chance to hesitate and think, and closed the door behind him on time.

Song Wanzhou sighed and took out the key ahead of time.

In the darkness where he couldn't see his fingers, he could only rely on his memory to feel his way back against the wall.

After hitting a wall several times, Song Wanzhou couldn't help thinking of the warmth of Song Jing's palm.

He admitted that he was greedy.

At this time, he thought again, it would be great if Song Jing was here.

At least someone will be waiting for him at home. When he is afraid of the dark, he only needs to shine a warm light at the end of the aisle.

Or, what he touched was not a cold wall, but a dry and warm palm.

Moving slowly along the wall, he inevitably kicked the fire hydrant, and with a muffled grunt, Song Wanzhou took bigger steps.

It was estimated that it was almost here, and when he was about to breathe a sigh of relief, Song Wanzhou's hand touched a warm object, and a chill came down his spine.

His knuckles curled up in fear, subconsciously wanting to withdraw his hand.

The wrist was firmly held, and the mind was confused, and when he was thinking wildly, a familiar hoarse voice came from the darkness, "Brother, what time is it?" With a bit of fearful sullenness.

Song Jing has been waiting since eight o'clock in the evening, but he can't get through to Song Wanzhou's phone, and Song Wanzhou's students don't know where Song Wanzhou, who hasn't shown up in the office all day, has gone.

When Song Jing left home last time, he forgot to bring his keys and couldn't get in. Since he couldn't know the exact location of Song Wanzhou, he didn't dare to leave the house even half a step, for fear of missing it.

Being in the dark can easily breed bad emotions.

The anxiety and uneasiness in his heart gradually accumulated with the waiting time, and he wanted to see Song Wanzhou more urgently than ever. He was afraid, afraid that his brother would leave without saying a word.

But all he can do is to stay where he is and wait, try his best to control his inner impatience, and once again choose to believe in Song Wanzhou who made the promise.

"Xiaojing?" Song Wanzhou heaved a sigh of relief when he heard Song Jing's voice, his stiff back relaxed, "Why are you back?"

Song Jing directly grabbed Song Wanzhou's hand, wrapped him in his arms, and expressed his dissatisfaction, "Brother, you are late."

No matter how many psychological hints he made, he couldn't really smell Song Wanzhou's breath.

Only when he truly felt the warmth of the person in his arms did Song Jing's unsteady heart gradually become more at ease.

Noticing that the air was a little different from usual, it seemed to be mixed with the smell of disinfectant in the hospital, Song Jing frowned, and asked softly, "Why is brother going to the hospital?"

Song Jing's unpleasant and unquestionable words rang in his ears, which became the last straw to break Song Wanzhou's pretended strong line of defense.

Song Wanzhou's nose was sour, and big tears rolled down from his sore eye sockets.

He was no longer able to maintain the stability on the surface, and through the darkness, Song Wanzhou lowered his head, rested his whole body on Song Jing's chest weakly, and said with a bit of sobs, "Xiaojing, I'm so tired."

Just a few words are enough to make him work hard.

Song Jing could feel that Song Wanzhou was trying his best to control him in his arms, but his body was still trembling slightly. Without knowing it, he could only hug him tighter, and asked with concern: "What's wrong, brother?"

Unable to rely on emotions finally have a shoulder to rely on.

Song Wanzhou greedily sucked the warmth of Song Jing's body.

There are too many words hidden in his heart. Now his logic is confused, he can't organize the words when, he doesn't know how to speak, and he doesn't know whether he should tell Song Jing.

Didn't hear the answer, Song Jing stretched out his hand and covered Song Wanzhou's face familiarly, "Brother, don't hide it from me, just speak slowly, okay?"

Feeling a piece of warm moisture at his fingertips, his Song Wanzhou cried.

Song Jing's frown became tighter and tighter, it was pitch black, and he couldn't know the specific situation.

He wanted to use the key to open the door, but Song Wanzhou pressed his hand, "Stay with me for a while, okay?"

Song Wanzhou at this moment is very much like a snail without a protective shell, exposing its fragile softness to the air, no matter where it touches, it will make him feel pain.

Song Jing put down the key, held Song Wanzhou's cold hand, and gave him all the warmth, "Okay."

One word was enough to make Song Wanzhou's only defenses drop.

"Xiaojing." Song Wanzhou whispered uncertainly.

Only when he got a response would his empty heart feel better.

After hesitating for a long time, he closed his eyes, pursed his trembling lips, and said sadly, "He Yu committed suicide."

Song Jing knew who He Yu was, and he knew the names and identities of everyone around Song Wanzhou.

He knew better how afraid Song Wanzhou was of facing death.

"He Yu's mother is here today, and his father is here tonight." Song Wanzhou picked up the words that came to mind and said, "I've talked with them," as if remembering something bad, Song Wanzhou couldn't control his emotions, and cried louder, "It turns out that kid He Yu also likes boys."

Song Jing gave a comforting gesture.

Song Wanzhou continued, "He was discovered by his parents twice when he was with a man much older than him."

"The first time, he wrote a letter of guarantee, and the second time, he didn't even have time to leave a suicide note."

Knowing the reason why Song Wanzhou was so uncomfortable, Song Jing stopped being silent, held Song Wanzhou's crying face, rubbed his swollen eyelids, and said earnestly, "Brother, you are different."

"Xiaojing, I'm afraid." Song Wanzhou said, "I'm afraid the second time..."

Song Jing lowered his head, found the position familiarly, and kissed the restless Song Wanzhou, "Brother, you are different from him. You are Song Wanzhou, and he is He Yu. No matter what decision He Yu makes, you will be with him." He is different, you will always have someone named Song Jing by your side."

"He not only wants to share joy with you, but also wants to suffer pain with you. Brother, you know, he can give you whatever you want and want."

"Brother, I can help you solve the things you are afraid of. Please, tell me, okay?"

"I can give you more."