paranoia

Song Wanzhou frowned lightly, and left Song Raoshuang's room with her lips pursed, leaving room for his sister-in-law to think alone.

No matter how decisive Song Raoshuang is, Song Wanzhou thinks that his sister-in-law will probably contact Yu Duo. Some problems cannot be solved by escaping, otherwise Song Raoshuang would not have wandered for so many years and was unwilling to find someone to settle down.

In the past, the family members mentioned to Song Raoshuang intentionally or unintentionally whether to go on a blind date, or to date a man again, but she refused the meeting for different reasons. It was nothing more than Song Mu's concern that outsiders would not love her daughter.Now that I think about it, I probably still have Yu Duo in my heart, so I can't let it go, I can't lie to myself, and I don't want to lie to others.

Song Wanzhou can understand her hesitation, time can change everything, friendship, love, and family affection, all cannot escape.

Song Raoshuang is six years older than Yu Duo, age is already an insurmountable gap, not to mention that they have been separated for so long without any contact, no matter how vigorous the relationship is, it will eventually be diluted by time, leaving only an empty shell.

Worry and hesitation are the most normal attitudes.

If Song Wanzhou were to choose, and put him in Song Raoshuang's position, he would probably make a completely different decision.

Too many emotions will only make him feel more exhausted. If possible, Song Wanzhou wants to die alone, and he will have concerns if he has bonds with others, which will cause a burden to others.

Song Wanzhou would rather swallow all the pain and sadness in his stomach than bother others.

Thinking about things in his heart, Song Wanzhou was absent-minded all day long, and he always missed a few sentences when chatting with Guan Zhiwen, and he was in a trance.

"Didn't you take a break?"

Guan Zhiwen had noticed Song Wanzhou's abnormality a long time ago, took his hand, and asked with concern: "Is it because living alone with Xiaojing can't take care of myself? Or should I move back?"

As a mother, I am always worried that my child will not be able to live alone, especially Song Wanzhou has a soft temper, and Song Jing is a moody child.The two were not at home, and she always had nightmares, dreaming that his eldest son was being bullied.

Song Wanzhou came back to his senses, twitched the corners of his mouth, and shook his head: "We are doing fine outside, I should be taking care of my younger brother, but Xiaojing bought me breakfast in the morning and sent me to school."

"Xiao Jing is so sensible now?"

After all, Song Jing was born to Guan Zhiwen. She knew his bad temper very well, and she didn't want to move her butt at home. Only when the stone blossomed would she suddenly become sensible.

"Could it be about love?"

The more I thought about it, the more likely it was. He held Song Wanzhou's hand and kept asking, seeming a little too nervous.

Song Jing usually loves to play, doesn't study hard, and has a bad temper. He has a good skin. From childhood to parent meeting, he can always see the bastard with little girls around him, and they say he has a bad face and is cold.

It's just a pretense that Bao Buqi rented a house, and he used the soft-eared Song Wanzhou as a shield to secretly fall in love behind their backs.

"No, Xiaojing is with me every day, how can I have time to fall in love? Mom, you think too much."

Song Wanzhou really didn't know if Song Jing was in love again. Although he rejected other people's confession, he never told Song Wanzhou about his relationship status.

Song Jing didn't want to tell his parents about his sexual orientation, Song Wanzhou helped him hide it, and if he wanted to come out in the future, he would help him with ideological work.

When I was tutoring Song Jing with homework at night, Song Jing couldn't bear to watch him continue to be distracted. He fiddled with Song Wanzhou's still eyelashes twice, held his shaking hand, and tapped on the test paper, pretending to be worried , said helplessly: "Brother, there are only three lines to choose, how do you choose D?"

The deep voice was actually somewhat indescribably gentle.

Song Wanzhou woke up like a dream, lowered his eyes, and concealed his panic: "Xiaojing, let's come here today, it's getting late, go to bed early, and I'll help you look at the rest tomorrow."

"Brother, you have something on your mind." Song Jing said affirmatively.

Every time Song Wanzhou hides something from him,

At times, he always acted calmly, but Song Jing could see the avoidance of his eyes at a glance.

"No, maybe I didn't get a good rest last night." Song Wanzhou shook his head.

Song Jing grabbed Song Wanzhou's arm and didn't let go, exerted a little force, frowned, and lowered his voice: "Brother, you promised not to hide it from me anymore."

Song Wanzhou twitched the corners of his mouth and smiled faintly: "No."

Song Wanzhou didn't have any worries, but he suddenly missed his deceased relatives.He thought that time had washed away his nostalgia, but when he heard his father's words from Song Mu's mouth today, he felt sore and almost couldn't hold back.

Lying on the bed, closing his eyes, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep, memory fragments hidden in the corner swarmed into his mind, beautiful, painful, and what Song Wanzhou wanted to forget.

For more than ten years, his parents and grandma never seemed to enter his dreams, or Song Wanzhou slept too lightly, and the people he missed could not enter.

Falling into a dream means that the other party is also thinking about him.

Song Wanzhou suffered from insomnia again, the room was stuffy, and he was sweating just sitting on the bed.He put on his clothes and was about to go out to get some air. When he saw the light in the closed door of Song Jingxu and the faint voice of someone talking, he knocked on his door: "Xiaojing, are you still asleep?"

The conversation from inside came to an abrupt end, and it was Song Jing's rustling voice as he put on his clothes, "What's wrong, brother?" His voice was a little hoarse, and his face was flushed abnormally.

"why are not you sleeping?"

Song Wanzhou asked suspiciously, "Have you caught a cold?" He stretched out his hand to touch Song Jing's forehead, "No."

"Watching a movie," Song Jing held Song Wanzhou's hand, passed the warmth of his palm to him, raised his eyebrows slightly, and raised the corners of his mouth, "Brother, do you want to watch it?"

Song Wanzhou withdrew his hand, shook his head, and told him to go to bed early after reading.

Song Wanzhou woke up early the next morning, sat up from the bed reluctantly, looked at his bare feet in a daze, with water in his eyes, and smiled faintly with satisfaction: "Finally the dream came true."

He had a dream, a dream that he couldn't get but was willing to do so.

In the dream, he returned to his childhood, and the more than ten years he lived alone in the world have become his dream in the dream.

Repeated reincarnation, but the scene of waking up did not change. Song Wanzhou took a while to realize that he was awake.

Toes touch the ground, back to reality.

It seemed that he hadn't visited the grave for a long time.

It was still gray outside the window, and the weather forecast said that it would be cloudy to light rain today. Song Wanzhou brought two umbrellas, one for his parents, and one for him and his grandmother.

"Brother, are you awake?"

When he was about to go out, he met Song Jing who came back from the outside, still holding a steaming breakfast in his hand, he looked like he hadn't woken up, half-closed his eyes and kept yawning.

Song Wanzhou didn't want to tell anyone about the tomb-sweeping, he didn't want the Song family to be tainted with death, so he avoided his eyes and said perfunctorily, "I have something to go out for."

Song Jing refused to let him go, and stopped at the door with a serious expression: "I'm with you."

No matter what Song Wanzhou explained, Song Jing was like a quick brown sugar, following him closely, and if Song Wanzhou didn't agree to him, he wouldn't let him go.

"Brother, take me with you. Dad is at home today, and he will settle accounts with me."

Pressing his whole body on Song Wanzhou's back, he took out the still warm bean curd from the plastic bag, curled his lips, and said aggrievedly: "Brother, look, Grandma Zhang's first order of bean curd. I stayed up all night last night, so I'm afraid I can't get up, my brother doesn't take me to play, it's too much."

Song Wanzhou was so crushed that he couldn't stand up straight, his face was stained red, he lowered his eyes, and said unnaturally, "Xiaojing, I'm not going to play."

The young man breathed evenly against his ears, and his voice softened, with obvious loss: "Brother knows all my secrets, but he doesn't want to tell me yours. Brother, you are good or bad."

"Xiao Jing..."

In the end Song Wanzhou compromised, he just couldn't say no to Song Jing.

"Then you also

I'll keep it a secret, okay? "

Song Jing agreed, and followed Song Wanzhou to the cemetery with flowers in his arms. The fence of the gate was covered with creepers, and because it was the weekend, other people could be vaguely seen.

The dense fog in the morning was blown away by the wind, and water droplets condensed on Song Wanzhou's eyelashes, trembling slightly, falling to the ground, hitting the marble steps, stirring up a small area of ​​dust.

After not coming for a long time, it was covered with weeds, Song Wanzhou stopped five meters away, and said lightly, "Xiaojing, is my mother beautiful?"

The photo on the tombstone freezes the time of Wang Jingyi and Yan Fei in the year when they met.It took 13 years to meet and know each other and love each other.He joined hands with his son, but failed to grow old together.

Song Jing hugged Song Wanzhou, who had weak legs, and said softly with thin lips: "Beautiful, my brother is like my mother."

Song Wanzhou smiled lightly, without saying a word, he took Sunflower and Lily apart and put them together in front of his parents' tombstone, took his peace blessing from his neck and hung it on Wen Shu's tombstone.

Kneeling on the ground to pull weeds, Song Jing followed him.

"Brother, I'll wait for you." After pulling out the weeds for him, he left the umbrella and gave Song Wanzhou time to be alone.

Song Wanzhou's tears had dried up more than ten years ago, the corners of his lips curled into a slight arc, and he opened his lips slightly, and said, "I miss you too."

Stretching out his hand to caress the frozen black-and-white photo, his mother's face was still at the most beautiful moment, they were all laughing, and Song Wanzhou laughed too.

"I am back."

Song Wanzhou sat on the ground and chatted with them face to face, telling them about his recent situation, like all the children who left home, reporting good news but not bad ones.

Completely forgetting that Song Jing was still waiting for him, Song Wanzhou stood up from the ground, his legs were a little numb, and the vacant part of his heart was filled again.

"I am leaving."

After three kowtows, Song Wanzhou took back his amulet and hung it around his neck again with his grandmother's breath.

The dense fog dissipated and it turned into a clear sky, and the umbrella didn't come in handy. Song Wanzhou didn't take two steps, and saw Song Jing standing not far away, watching him all the time.

"Brother, I will accompany you when I visit my parents in the future, okay?"