paranoia

"Brother, do you think I'm a monster?" Song Jing smiled sullenly, with the corners of his mouth raised, but his eyes were full of water. He sat on the sofa and fiddled with the ceramic water cup on the coffee table, "Because I like boys, so you Are you scared?"

The night wind outside the window brought in a burst of moist water vapor, a few lightning flashes across the sky, and bursts of roaring thunder, heralding the impending rainstorm.

Song Jing's face flickered on and off, and the fragility in his pretendingly strong tone hurt Song Wanzhou deeply. He pursed his dry lips, lowered his eyes, and walked over slowly, as if comforting Bai Yiyu, taking Song Jing Holding her in her arms, she said softly, "It's never your fault that you like boys."

"My brother doesn't think you are a monster, let alone be afraid of you."

"It was brother's actions that hurt you just now, brother apologizes."

Song Wanzhou's peaceful voice soothed Song Jing's restless heart. He was buried in Song Wanzhou's stomach, and felt the same tension as him through the thin pajamas.

Feeling Song Jing blinking his eyelashes in his arms, hot tears soaked Song Wanzhou's clothes, clinging to his belly, burning his skin.

Song Jing hugged Song Wanzhou tightly, raised his head, and rested his chin on him, the tails of his eyes were red, the misty eyes flickered slightly, his voice was slightly hoarse, and he asked in a low voice: "Brother, don't alienate me just because I like boys. Okay? I only have you, even if everyone hates me, it doesn't matter, I only care about your feelings."

"Brother, don't abandon me."

At that moment, Song Jing seemed to have let go of all his defenses and pretense. He stripped the truth out of his body and carefully presented it in front of Song Wanzhou, expecting and fearing, waiting for Song Wanzhou's reply.

It only takes one result to make him fall into the abyss, beyond redemption.

Song Jing showed sadness and timidity, and gradually loosened his grip on Song Wanzhou's back: "Can't brother agree?"

"Does Xiaojing have too little confidence in his brother?" Song Wanzhou held Song Jing's flinching hand in his, "Even if everyone is against you, I will protect you."

Song Jing smiled with his face up, wept with joy, and the last few tears flowed out of his closed eyes.

Song Wanzhou took away his arm covering his eyelids, wiped his thumb lightly, and held his face with a faint smile on the corner of his mouth, and said in a soft voice: "Xiao Jing is not as handsome as before when he is crying. "

The maltose that I hadn't touched for a long time was once again in my bitter mouth, and I unexpectedly found that it was still the same sweetness as I remembered.

There was loud thunder and little rain. Before I could collect my clothes, the rain stopped outside the window, and the night returned to calm.

Song Jing sat on Song Wanzhou's bed after taking a shower, while his brother was rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

"Is it because of this reason that Xiaojing moved out?"

Although it wasn't for this reason, since Song Wanzhou mentioned it, Song Jing naturally nodded.

Song Wanzhou clapped his hands, and said as naturally as possible: "Does Mom and Dad know?"

Song Jing lowered his head: "I don't know."

"It's okay, as long as brother knows, brother can protect you well." Since Song Jing didn't want Song Kuanyu and the others to know, Song Wanzhou would help him keep the secret.

After saying goodnight to each other, Song Jing lay on the side of the bed, curled up, keeping a distance on purpose.

When Song Wanzhou stretched out his hand and touched Song Jing's shoulder, he trembled slightly, as if he was a little scared, and even more resistant, the curvature became wider, and he whispered, "Brother, you will mind."

Song Wanzhou slowly leaned over, pressed his warm chest against Song Jing's cold back, and said clearly, "Xiao Jing, don't be afraid, it's brother." Because he is Song Jing's brother, so He was able to accept him without reservation, take care of his fragile and sensitive mind, and protect him under his arms, although compared to Song Jing, Song Wanzhou may be a little thinner and thinner.

The next day Song Wanzhou had to go back to school for morning classes. Last night was rather stuffy, and he felt a little short of breath in his sleep. Before the alarm clock went off at seven, he woke up rubbing his sleep-deprived eyes.

He didn't feel the strength hanging on his body, so he touched his side subconsciously. The place where Song Jing slept was no longer warm. He woke up suddenly when he fell asleep, and opened his eyes suddenly. There was no one on the bed, and it was too late to put on his shoes. Call: "Xiaojing?"

No one answered him, there was no one in the bedroom, living room, or toilet. Song Wanzhou's heart was inexplicably clenched, and he was a little worried. He took out his mobile phone and wanted to call Song Jing, but before he dialed, he heard a voice at the door. Come ring the doorbell.

Song Wanzhou hurried over to open the door, only to see that Song Jing was neatly dressed, panting heavily, with a thin layer of sweat on his forehead, with keys in his mouth, left and right hands full of things, he just climbed up the stairs, loose Take a breath, relax.

Seeing Song Wanzhou stepping on the floor with bare feet, Song Jing frowned slightly, spat out the keys on the shoe cabinet, and said displeasedly, "Brother, why don't you even wear shoes? Your feet were cold last night." , even if you cover it, it won’t keep you warm.”

The temperature dropped so badly last night that the two of them only covered each other with a quilt.Song Wanzhou was more afraid of the cold than others, because his limbs felt cold and he couldn't fall asleep for a long time.In the end, it was Song Jing who felt his trembling, turned around, hugged him tightly, pressed the back of his foot against his sole, held his cold hand on his chest, and Song Wanzhou gradually fell asleep.

When I woke up, I didn't see Song Jing, and I was so worried about the other party's whereabouts that I couldn't care about myself.After relaxing, Song Wanzhou felt the bone-chilling coolness of the tiles coming from the soles of his feet. He moved his toes in embarrassment, and laughed for a while. He hadn't lost his composure in a long time, and he was even taught a lesson by his younger brother Song Jing.

Under Song Jing's urging, he went back to his room and put on his shoes, took the hearty breakfast in his hand and placed it on the dining table, and put another bag of vegetables he bought from someone who didn't know where into the refrigerator.

"Xiao Jing, why do you get up so early?"

Song Jing followed behind Song Wanzhou like quick brown candy. After he sat down at the dining table, he moved the stool opposite to Song Wanzhou and sat down next to Song Wanzhou. He returned all the remaining change in his pocket to Song Wan. Zhou, muttering: "Didn't you promise to buy breakfast for brother?" His mouth twitched, as if he had been wronged. The carefully prepared surprise breakfast was not praised immediately, and he felt a little unhappy.

Song Wanzhou didn't expect that Song Jing was serious when he said that he wanted to buy breakfast for himself. He thought it was just a joke to coax him. Looking at the hot breakfast in front of him, his heart was touched, and he rubbed Song Jing's lost hair , subconsciously smiled: "Xiaojing has a heart, brother will eat well."

Finally hearing what he wanted to hear, Song Jing, who was very easy to satisfy, stuffed a mouthful of buns into Song Wanzhou's mouth, tilted his head, the corners of his mouth raised uncontrollably, and the pink at the tips of his ears showed his good mood.

A familiar taste came from the tip of his tongue. Song Wanzhou took a small bite and looked at the filling of the bread: "Which one bought it? It's a bit like Grandma Zhang's handicraft." Not greasy, Song Wanzhou couldn't help but want to eat more.

Song Jing took a sip of soy milk, lowered his eyes, and said flatly, "It's Grandma Zhang's house. Today, there are only siu mai and buns, but no bean curd."

Song Wanzhou paused as he fed it into his mouth, his pupils trembled slightly, he frowned slightly, licked the salty taste from the corner of his mouth, and asked uncertainly, "Which one is near our house?"

Song Jingjing nodded, and lifted the chopsticks in Song Wanzhou's hand nonchalantly, signaling him to continue eating and not to let it cool down.

The place where they rented the house was about an hour and a half away by bus from home. It was not yet eight o'clock, and Song Wanzhou couldn't imagine when Song Jing would leave the house in time to buy him breakfast.

"Xiaojing, what time did you wake up?"

Song Jing propped his chin with chopsticks, rolled his eyes, was silent for a moment, then pursed his lips and muttered in a low voice: "I didn't fall asleep last night, so I just woke up."

"Are you sure about the bed? Did my brother disturb you last night?" Song Wanzhou asked cautiously.

"No, I'm so happy. I went out for a few laps, but I still can't calm down." The corners of Song Jing's mouth slightly curved, and Song Jing took Song Wanzhou's chopsticks and swallowed his half-eaten buns. Before he could react, Before, I stuffed the soy milk in my hand into his mouth again, the whole process was natural and smooth, as if I had practiced it many times, "My brother was motionless when he fell asleep, like a kitten, how could he disturb me, it should be I was right to quarrel with my brother."

Song Wanzhou tapped Song Jing's head twice with chopsticks: "Are you so hungry? Even what my brother ate."

Song Jing replaced words with actions, stuffed his mouth full of buns, his cheeks were so swollen that he couldn't speak at all.

Song Wanzhou chuckled, and wiped off the grease from the corner of his naughty brother's mouth: "Eat slowly, don't choke."

Song Jing took another sip of milk before swallowing the bun: "Brother, can you come to our school for your birthday next week? I have a surprise gift for you."

If he didn't mention it, Song Wanzhou almost forgot that his adult birthday was approaching.

Guan Zhiwen lived a very ritualistic life, which also affected the two little guys. Even if they don't usually celebrate festivals, their family will get together to celebrate their birthdays.Giving gifts has become a necessary part. When I was young, I was ignorant, and I would be happy for a long time if I gave anything casually. Now I usually ask what I need in advance, and buy according to the demand, so as to avoid dislike of waste, and there is no sense of surprise.

This year Song Wanzhou didn't have any special gifts he wanted, so he smiled lightly and said softly, "Xiaojing can give you anything."

Except for going to school, birthdays are usually celebrated at home. Although I don’t really understand why I have to go to Song Jing’s school to give gifts, I still asked casually: “Isn’t that Friday?”

There were stars in Song Jing's eyes, and he looked at Song Wanzhou pitifully, and asked in a low voice, "Can my brother ask for leave?"

After thinking for a while, Song Wanzhou nodded. It was Friday anyway, so it's okay to ask for leave at night.

After breakfast, Song Jing rode Song Wanzhou to school as agreed. Apparently, his brother was not used to sitting on the back seat of the bicycle, and his hands hugged Song Jing's waist unnaturally. Wait, Song Wanzhou almost fell down halfway.

"Brother, I'll pick you up at noon."

Waving vigorously, saying goodbye to Song Wanzhou, watching his brother enter the school gate, Song Jing stepped on the rhythm and rode to the downstairs of the 'warehouse' along the way.

The other three people had rushed over from home a long time ago after receiving the text message of his assembly notification, only to find that Song Jing himself hadn't arrived yet, and one or two fell to the ground hungry to catch up on sleep.

Jiang Xinzhi, who was the first to arrive, came over as soon as he saw Song Jing, punched him hard, and said bluntly: "Brother Jing, don't talk about my car, I asked you out to play last night, and you didn't even call me." Then, where did you go? My cousin didn't come home either, so you're not with her, are you? "