[Comprehensive Anti-wear] Tenants, please respect yourself

Forgot to introduce myself, hello everyone, my name is Julie, and I am currently facing the weirdest scene in 15 years, a mandarin-speaking penguin dressed like an aristocrat appeared in the bathroom of my house.

I'm hesitating whether to call the police. Although I haven't completely broken away from the age of love and fantasy in the second year of middle school, I really haven't imagined that this situation will happen.

First of all, I pinched the back of my hand, and the sharp pain told me that this might not be a dream, but this matter was so weird that I decided to reserve my opinion.

When I was about to make a move, the penguin actually opened its wings, that's right!It actually opened its transparent wings similar to a fly and flew towards me slowly, mother!What the hell is this!

I took a deep breath, holding the pan in my hand, and I was about to shoot it. The penguin's eyes darkened, and a murderous look flashed in its brows. It raised its hand, which should be a hand, and then launched an attack on me.

"Hmph, little human beings also want to resist me, and you won't be able to laugh right away."

I never laughed again!I was wary of the other party's behavior, but I found that my body had not suffered any actual damage. Could it be that this neurotic penguin was just bluffing?Just when I wanted to relax a little bit, my stomach suddenly made a sound like I was about to have diarrhea, and then I started to have the idea of ​​wanting to have diarrhea.

Do you want diarrhea because you eat too much Malatang?No, I didn't eat like this before. Could it be that the gutter oil in Malatang is particularly powerful today?Seeing that my expression was not right, and even the posture of standing on my legs became strange, the penguin narrowed its eyes sinisterly, showing a kind of joyful emotion.

"No one can resist my trick, hehehehe."

So what on earth have you done to me!The pain in my stomach is not related to Mala Tang, but because you are amplifying your tricks on me?

The desire to stretch is getting worse and worse. If this continues, I will definitely pull it on my pants. This is simply a tragedy, isn't it?The mentality of being a tuba overcame everything. I slapped the penguin out of the toilet neatly with a frying pan, and then quickly locked the toilet door and took off my pants to solve my most important problem.

Faintly, I also heard the penguin outside the door chirping and saying something, asking me to take care of it?Pull more?You lay eggs like a hen!When I flushed the toilet after refreshing, there was an earth-shattering "stop" outside, and as the toilet door opened, what I saw was not the penguin, but a slender and handsome man. The aristocratic temperament exuded by the whole person is completely different from ordinary people, but his behavior and expression also make me very puzzled.

Before I had time to show the little girl's shyness and awkwardness when she saw the beautiful boy, he destroyed his image.

Holding a disposable lunch box in one hand and a clip in the other, the handsome nobleman rushed to the toilet with a sad face and stared at the squat toilet.

Who can tell me why the penguins outside disappeared after getting a tuba?How did this handsome blonde aristocrat come out?How does he wear the same clothes as Penguin...

As if I had figured something out, I looked at the handsome blond guy who was staring at the toilet and was about to cry. Suddenly, he grabbed my chest in a ferocious and mournful way, as if his first love had been snatched away by a friend. I was pulled by this handsome guy and almost fell into his arms. He frowned in disgust, and when he opened his mouth, there was a clear and pleasant male voice, only with anger.

"You actually wasted it! How dare you waste it?"

"...No, calm down, so let's talk about what I wasted and how did you come into my house." At this time, I didn't want to call the police out of fear, but cared about what I wasted that caused him to change. Into this indescribable bitterness.

"This is what I really look like."

"Wait, are you that penguin?"

"It's not a penguin, it's a fly, you idiot." The handsome guy said contemptuously.

It's obviously a penguin!Who are you fooling!The flies in your house look like penguins!After I forced myself to calm down for a while, I thought about it. Immediately, my expression fluttered for a few seconds, and I asked tremblingly: "So, what did I just waste?" Don't, don't be what I thought , This is too challenging my three views!How can you still look straight at the handsome blonde guy in the future?

"What did you do in the toilet! What did you flush! What did you say you wasted! Unforgivable! How can it be wasted, it should be put in a box, and when you are hungry, take it to the microwave to heat it up Eat it!"

I pulled Xiang in the toilet, and then flushed Xiang, did I waste Xiang!When I heard this handsome guy say it so disregarding his image, I was in a bad mood. The shock went from the soles of my feet to the top of my head. This man actually wanted to eat shit...and put my excrement in it Put it in a box and eat it up!What happened to this world!I met a pervert?Don't perverts eat people?Why are there still people who eat shit! ! !Why are you city people so good at playing! ! !

Wait, think about it carefully, it's safer to eat my excrement than to eat me, right?No, no, it's perverted enough, even if it's Xiang, with such a noble and handsome face...

"I decided, since it's been wasted, I can only let you do it again. My ability will make you want to defecate. Damn, the ability has weakened a lot, or you should be crying to go to the bathroom now !"

Why did you say such horrible and obscene words in a serious and proud way!In other words, what kind of bullshit ability is it to urge people to pull up!

The handsome blond guy seems to have made up his mind to let me pull it again. I was so scared that I wanted to break free. After living for 15 years, what I encountered when I was alone at home was not a burglary or rape. It was just a handsome blond guy who wanted to Eat my Xiang, I feel that my whole body will not get better...

Just when my excretion thoughts came up again, the person holding me in front of me disappeared suddenly, and with the disappearance of this handsome man with snake spirit disease, my stomach also returned to normal.I still had a feeling that I couldn't react. I looked at the pan that fell on the floor, and then I came back to my senses in a trance.

What an absurd experience, no one will believe it if you tell it!Although in reality I don't have any friends to talk to...

Still in shock, I calmed down my panting, and I felt that my brain was still a bit overwhelmed.I bent down to pick up the frying pan and put it back in the kitchen. After all the fuss just now, I was sweating. The night at the end of August was hot or cold.I plan to take a shower and go to bed, maybe this is just a dream of mine?

While I was still holding this thought, when I turned around, I saw that there was another person in the empty living room. In an instant, goosebumps sprang up, and the back of my head felt cold.The man was wearing a black trench coat with a stand-up collar, his chin was covered by a skull mask, and only the upper half of his face with frowning brows was exposed.

I saw the other party look up, and those narrow, dark eyes showed a hostility that ordinary people would not have. At this moment, a flash of Wannian is fart in my mind, and it is true that the whole body is cold experience.I saw the other party rushing straight towards me in a flash, I screamed in fright, and at the same time, a slightly hoarse and hasty voice sounded behind me.

"Get out of the way!"

Accompanied by the sound, my head was pressed down by the gentle palm, and a black shadow jumped up and over my head, and then received the attack from the opposite side.When someone stepped over my head, I only saw a crotch when I looked up. I really shouldn't have looked up.

With a "clang--", the sound of weapons colliding made my ears numb. After escaping, I rolled with my tail between my legs and went to the back of the refrigerator in the kitchen.

What exactly is going on!A handsome guy with a snake spirit who loves to eat and eat flies left, and two handsome guys come again?I looked over nervously, the short man looked murderous.By the way, can anyone tell me what it means to have strangers appearing one after another at home!

I turned my face and stared at the man who saved me just now for a long time. He has black hair, V-shaped bangs, a cool and handsome face, a burning cigarette in his mouth, and a well-tailored black body. Gold trimmed uniform, and holding a long knife, gradually, his appearance coincided with someone in a certain naughty anime I had watched.

wipe!Earthwork [-] Lang! ?I am not dreaming?

"Why are you watching around there, don't hide away!"

Just when I came to this horrifying conclusion, Tufang, who was confronting the little man with a cigarette in his mouth, let out a low growl at me, implying that he hated iron for being weak.It's amazing, why didn't the cigarette drop when he opened his mouth to speak?And she speaks fluent Mandarin!Too many questions filled my mind for a while, but it's really inappropriate to ask these questions now, the murderous aura of that short and handsome boy on the opposite side is going to break through the sky!

I heard the little handsome man cursed that his strength had weakened or something, and then the two of them fought again. One of the chairs was smashed by someone's weapon, and it shattered to the ground. My heart Also trembling.money!All that is broken is money!television!television!Watch out for the shoe closet!Ahhh!Potted plants in the corner!Help Curtains!Don't jump to the ceiling!My parents will cut me off if they find out! ! !

With a bang, the glass of the window shattered, and several pieces of glass shards flew towards me. When the earthworker saw it, he immediately turned his steps and blocked the glass in mid-air with a knife in front of me.

He hugged me helplessly, the sudden touch was real, the cold texture of the buttons on his uniform made me shudder, to be more sure, my dog ​​got bolder, trembling and reached out Earth Fang pinched his waist.Unexpectedly, I would come like this, he let out a low muffled snort, and immediately lowered his head and complained at me.

"What are you doing with your hands! Be honest!"

It's real, it's really real, it can't be a dream at all.

what happened!Why do characters from Gintama appear in my house!

Help, someone help me and my poor family!