Absolutely retarded option

[The chivalrous man changed Pan Jinlian's fate and won the title of Lei Feng]

That's it?I haven't become the richest man in the world yet!

After being separated from the world, I usually feel dizzy for a while. I was dazed and heard someone say something next to my ear, "Second King! Second King! The white tiger on the east mountain came to beat the autumn wind again, and even bit the red hair."

Um?Who is disturbing my lucid dream?

I turned over and covered my ears, and the voice went around to the other side, and it was still the same sentence, "Second King, Second King!"

I, Dao Leyan, have never been second since I was born!

I opened my eyes impatiently, only to see a humanized monkey standing on two feet and respecting me very much.

Fuck monkey!

I was shocked!

"What are you doing so close to me!" Who knows if it will bite me!

I quickly backed away from this monkey to keep a distance, but I looked up and saw hundreds of monkeys in all directions, sitting or lying down, all looking at me in various shapes, the old man suddenly felt a little creepy, what the hell is this place.

Suddenly an old monkey jumped out and said, "Your Majesty, how should we deal with the matter of the White Tiger Essence? Please ask the Second Great King to come up with a charter."

This monkey calls me the second king?

I had a bad premonition. I raised my hand and looked at it and almost scared my liver and gallbladder to tears. Why did my delicate little hands/thick big palms become hairy!

I hurried to the side of the pool to take a photo, and it was a beautiful... female monkey!

I'm not even human anymore.

"where is this place?"

"Donghai Aolai Country Huaguo Mountain Water Curtain Cave, Second Great King?"

"Who am I?"

"You are the second head of Huaguo Mountain, not a human being."

The term Huaguoshan is like a thunderbolt.But the old man has never heard of Huaguo Mountain having a second master, and the absolute option has added a magic horse plot to me?

Put this aside for now and say, "What's the matter with that tiger?"

The old monkey said: "Just a hundred miles away from Huaguo Mountain, there is a cave called Baihu Cave. There is a nest of tigers living in it. Usually, the well water does not interfere with ours. The next smaller one is that it ran to Huaguo Mountain."

"So it's pretty pathetic?"

"Second Great King! It bit the red hair!"

A red long-haired monkey jumped out, with bloody scabs on its arms, and said miserably, "Second King, the red hair hurts so much..."

I immediately said: "It's really a bad tiger, let's find a way to teach it! Give it some color to see! Do you have any ideas?"

The monkeys chattered, but in short, they said, "We can't beat the tiger. It would be great if the king was here."

"How many years has the king been away?"

"It's been seven years."

Counting the time, the king is still learning art, far water can't save near fire.

"I have an idea, let's do it this way."

I want to summon Wu Song, but I don't have a card, and I can't cause 80% crit to tiger creatures.

Huaguo Mountain is a blessed place, with exotic flowers and plants all over the mountain, and the concentration of aura is visible to the naked eye. The advantage is that it is easy to become a spirit. The monkeys in Huaguo Mountain are all monkey spirits.

The white tiger was drinking by the water, I glanced at it, why didn't the mother just say it was a white tiger and didn't tell me that the tiger was as big as a heavy truck?

A group of thin-skinned monkeys is not enough to keep him bored.

A group of monkeys were trembling while clutching the rocks. I understood why they dared not fight and couldn’t run away. No matter which tree they climbed, they couldn’t be hit by a white tiger. I decided to fight with them first. Talk about, "You stand back and if it makes a move, it runs away with all your might, you hear me?"

The monkeys said no problem.

His heels rubbed against the ground to grind away the dead skin, and he grabbed the cane and slid down the hill, "Tiger! White Tiger, I have something to tell you!"

The white tiger looked left and right before he noticed a monkey jumping on the ground, "Monkey, you called me?"

"Yes, I have something to tell you. This mountain is the territory of Huaguo Mountain. It belongs to our monkeys. You are a tiger and cannot stay here."

The tiger flicked its steel-whip-like tail, knocked down an old crooked-neck tree, and said in a shambles, "I'm good, so this place belongs to me."

"Is it a first come, first served?"

The tiger stared at me with big eyes like copper bells and said nothing.

I think he just needs a beating.

So I went up and beat the white tiger violently, but was beaten down by it.

What is the situation, my strength has not been reduced!

[The tiger is a wild alien species with noble blood, you are no match for it. 】Absolute option explained.

This tiger is actually a relative of the white tiger, one of the four divine beasts.

Didn't they all get stoned to death?Don't tell me that the blood of a divine beast can also be smashed to death.Anyway, it is stronger than me, and I am no match for the white tiger in the Hong Huangliu system.

The white tiger was scratched by me with a few bloodstains, and looked at me differently, "You have sharp claws."

The group of monkeys on the hillside saw me being knocked down and screamed, "The second king lost, the second king lost!"

White Tiger: "According to the rules, if you lose to me, you will admit to me."

Don't, Dad is not so thin enough to fit your teeth.

"My parents and brothers are all dead and I am the only one left. Just when you are about to spread branches and leaves for the White Tiger Clan, you are a female monkey again. Just come back with me."

Baihu said very sincerely, he almost didn't scare me to death, do you know that we have reproductive isolation?I am a monkey and you are not a tiger.

"You are a tiger and I am a monkey, how can I give birth to a tiger."

The white tiger said in a low voice: "I don't dislike what you give birth to, they are all descendants of my white tiger clan."

You don't dislike me. Where did the tiger come from with such a big brain.

So I was captured by the white tiger.

When I arrived at the huge cave dug out by the white tiger's paws, I found that my worries were superfluous. Although the white tiger and I were both ghosts, our cultivation bases were superficial, and we couldn't transform into human form, so we couldn't reproduce.

I couldn't figure it out, "Since I can't change my form, why did you catch me back, as a food reserve?"

White Tiger: "Quickly."

A year has passed, and I lay on my stomach in the cave and scratched my armpits, "Why haven't you transformed yet?"

The white tiger still said that soon, I believe you ghost.

I don't know how long it has passed, but I really complied with that sentence. Time in the wilderness is not considered time. Finally, one day the white tiger was about to transform into a form. The thunder struck fiercely. I squatted at the entrance of the cave and shouted: "You must Make it look better, otherwise I won’t talk to you! At least it’s better than Erlang God, you know!”

How could the white tiger know who Erlang God was? Its snow-white fur was scorched from the ground, and the only thing in its ears was the noisy cry of the female monkey except for the muffled thunder.

After the thunder strikes, the white tiger has also transformed into a successful form. Not to mention that the blood of the white tiger family is good, it looks so good.

The white tiger shook his hair, laughed and walked towards me, then he was punched flying, and a heroic monkey grabbed the tiger by its tail and swung it up into the sky.

Suddenly, countless monkeys emerged from all over the mountains and plains, "Second Great King! The Great King is back to save you!"

Dawang Xueyi is back!

I immediately burst into tears. After beating the tiger, the king came over and gave me a solid monkey hug, "Little eyes, I have worked hard for you these years, how are you? I came back late and made you suffer." .”

Did I originally call you Little Eyes?

The tiger struggled to climb out of the rock and yelled at the king, "Where are you taking my wife?"

The king asked me, "Are you married to him?"

I shook my head like a rattle.

The king said masculinely: "I'll make the decision for you. White Tiger, you lied to me at Huaguo Mountain. Today, the old grandson wants to settle the score with you! Hey!"

The hardened white tiger was beaten back to its original form, and an unknown number of bones were broken.

I was very happy and ruthlessly went back to Huaguo Mountain with the king, and then I was drinking and having fun day and night. The monkey wine made by monkeys was the best in the world, and no one dared to have any objections.

After a night of hangover, I was woken up by crying. The oldest monkey on Huaguo Mountain died.

The king who realized the meaning of death for the first time was stunned, "Are we all going to die?"

"Yan Wangye has a book of life and death. If he wants to make people die at the third watch, he dare not keep them until the fifth watch. He also has black and white impermanence to take the soul to the underworld."

Me: "What's the matter with Lord Guan Yan? He's just a part-time worker, and the real thing is the six reincarnations."

"What is the six realms of reincarnation?" the king asked.

"It's the way of heaven."

The king asked again: "How can I stop it?"

I smiled grimly, "Kill the Heavenly Dao."

As soon as the words fell, there was a loud noise from the sky, which made Huaguo Mountain tremble, and countless gravels fell from the Water Curtain Cave.

"God is angry!" The monkeys huddled together.

How dare Tiandao challenge his father?I... I can't beat him.

After tapping on the absolute option, the meaning is clear: it's time for Dad to upgrade.

The absolute option is to play dead.

Am I being too fierce, and I'm going to kill Tiandao at the beginning?Do you have to set a small goal first, starting with killing the Tathagata?

I shouted: "It's wrong, it's wrong, don't kill Tiandao, kill Hongjun first!"

Patriarch Hongjun is the master of the great king. The Bodhi master who was thousands of miles away was packing up his things to cover the secret and was about to run away. He sneezed suddenly and quickly counted his fingers. Count! The prehistoric world is too dangerous, and the catastrophe of heaven and earth is coming at any time, so hurry up and retreat."

His Majesty asked me who Hongjun was, and when I said that he was the master of Bodhi Patriarch, His Majesty turned pale, remembering the master's warning not to tell others about their master-student relationship.

"It is said that Patriarch Hongjun is the boss, and Tathagata is just his apprentice, but Patriarch Hongjun is also subject to the control of heaven, as long as he is born in this world, it will be difficult to escape." I sighed.

I don't know if the king is Tiandao's opponent,

"Small eyes...the name doesn't sound good."

I agree with this statement.

"Why don't you change your name, how about you all follow my surname Sun?"

All the monkeys were very happy. It is an honor to have the same surname as the king.

I raised my hand, "My lord, I want to name myself!"

Monkey King said, "What's the name?"

Me: "I want to be called Son Gohan!"

"Sun Wuhan..." The king rolled his eyes, and he was overjoyed, "In the past, you were the best at finding food, you have a good name!"

So I decided on the number of Luocao in Huaguoshan, called Sun Wufan.

After the name was given, the king died, and he came back to life after making a fuss, and the name of the monkeys in the world was crossed out from the book of life and death.What is leaning against a big tree to enjoy the shade, this is it.

"The mighty king!"

Soon Lord Yan succeeded in suing, and the heavenly court decided to recruit the king.

The king looked very excited.

Wearing silk and satin, I offered advice and advice: "I don't know what kind of official the Heavenly Court has appointed the King?"

"Bee Ma Wen."

"Yo, it's a horseman."

The king didn't know: "Is it a very big official?"

I shook my head, "There may not be a smaller official than this."

Dawang Qi's face was red, as red as his buttocks, "Qi kills me!"

"Your Majesty, I have a clever plan. Your Majesty may as well take over the official position, go to the Heavenly Court, break it from the inside, capture the Jade Emperor and bring it down to the mortal world, and sit on the Jade Emperor himself!"

"Gohan, why are you so treacherous."

"Huaguoshan, water and soil are good."

So the king went to heaven with a different mind,

The king had just left for a day, and came back just a few minutes after arriving in the heavenly court, "Gohan, you go up with me."

"Why, Your Majesty."

"When you are not by my side, I always feel that something is missing."

I blushed, "My lord, you are so straightforward."

Although the king has a hairy face and a thunderous mouth, the eyes of all the monkeys in the world are naturally hairless, and the king is very handsome.

"I will go wherever the king goes."

When I arrived at Tiangong, I saw Taibaijinxing, and Taibaijinxing was anxious, "Where did the great sage go?"

The king pointed at me, "I'm going to pick her up."

Taibai Jinxing took a closer look, it was a female monkey like a ground turtle, and said: "The Heavenly Court only allows the king to come, which is probably not in compliance with the rules."

The king was not happy, "I became such a big official that I can't even bring my family? This is Bi Mawen's wrong! It's wrong!"

Monkeys can't be stimulated, and they will scratch people when they are stimulated.

Taibai Jinxing had no choice but to agree.

"The Great Sage follows me to see the Jade Emperor, this...cannot go with me."

I have no interest in the Jade Emperor at all. I heard that he used to pour water for the ancestor Hongjun to wash his feet. I pulled the king aside and said, "This Jade Emperor came to power through the back door. He used to be the ancestor of Hongjun." The boy next to me became the Jade Emperor because the chamber pot was cleaned..."

The king said thoughtfully, "I see, you are waiting for me here."

After the king and Taibai Jinxing left, I wandered around in the misty pavilion. I wanted to go out but I was afraid of being seen by the guards of the Heavenly Palace. What if they wanted to kill me indiscriminately?

If I had known earlier, I would have learned a few tricks from the king first.

There are two places that attract me the most in Tiangong, one is Pantao Garden and the other is Guanghan Palace. The peaches, rabbits and Chang'e are all my white moonlight.When I thought about the Pantao Garden, I would keep it for the king and I would go to Guanghan Palace to play. I heard that the Queen Mother of the West gave Houyi an elixir that was stolen by his wife Chang'e. I have to say that this decision is really wise.Chang'e has rich emotional experience after dumping her rough ex-husband, Wu Gang, Marshal Tianpeng, Jade Emperor, Jade Rabbit...

If the rabbit is a female, it is kept, and the male is roasted.

I smelled the smell of mooncakes all the way to Guanghan Palace. As the creator of mooncakes, Chang'e must have a few brushes.

Outside the Guanghan Palace, there was indeed a man with a beautiful back who was cutting trees.Unless he cuts trees faster than the laurel heals, he will never cut down the laurel in his life.

"Hey, man, what are you cutting down trees for?"

Wu Gang was startled. The voice came from a tree. He raised his head and saw a monkey with wicked eyebrows and mouse eyes hanging upside down in the lush leaves. It was still a female monkey. "Where did you come from?"Why doesn't he know?

"I heard that you and Chang'e have a good relationship. The Jade Emperor was jealous of your relationship with Chang'e and punished you for cutting down trees. Is that true?" abuse.

"Where did you hear that?" Wu Gang looked nervous. He didn't dare to let people know what the Jade Emperor thought about Chang'e, otherwise he would offend the Queen Mother, but the Jade Emperor was fine, and he and Chang'e would suffer.

"I knew it was true just by looking at your expression, you just put up with it, and you're not wrong!"

When Wu Gang was punished by the Jade Emperor to cut down the laurel tree, no one ever came to ask him a question. Instead, the monkey who had never met before complained for him. He smiled wryly, "That's the Jade Emperor."

"What happened to the Jade Emperor, the Jade Emperor has to be reasonable!"

I wrapped my tail around the branch and let it flow down like a soft cat, "If he doesn't make sense, you'll kill him."

Wu Gang was shocked. Looking at the monkey again, he felt that it was extremely terrifying, "You are a monster!"

The monsters in the Heavenly Court are all monsters, and this one is a monster without any fairy energy.

"What's wrong with me being a monster? Don't you want to capture me and ask the Jade Emperor for credit? If he's happy, you can stay with Chang'e without cutting down trees? Just dream."

Wu Gang really had the idea of ​​atonement.

I analyzed: "What is the festival between you and the Jade Emperor? The woman the Jade Emperor fell in love with abandoned him like a shoe but fell in love with you. He is so narrow-minded that he can forgive you, but he has no reason to teach you a lesson. Maybe you will send me off. Enter the demon-slaying platform, and the Jade Emperor will let you go down to the realm to eliminate demons, and you may have no chance to return to the heaven."

Wu Gang lowered his head in thought.

"If you want to stay and fly with Chang'e, I will tell you a trick."

Wu Gang: "What a unique move."

"Come here with your ears, I'll tell you in detail." Wu Gang approached suspiciously, "So, so, so and so..."

A few days after my family's great king was promoted to Bi Mawen, a message spread wildly in the heavenly court, saying that the Jade Emperor had an illegitimate son in the mortal world!

"Barefoot Immortal, have you heard of it? The Jade Emperor's son..."

"heard."

"Where are you going?"

"Go to Clairvoyance and Shunfenger..."

"Me too, together."

For a while, Qianliyan and Shunfenger became the most popular people in the Heavenly Court. Everyone asked them to see where the Jade Emperor's son was hiding.

Shunfeng Erqianliyan himself was curious, but how dare he spread the scandal about the Jade Emperor, "No, no, you are against the rules of heaven."

The fact that the Jade Emperor had an illegitimate child was both unexpected and reasonable. Immortals have lived for 8000 years without making mistakes.

"I just don't know who the mother of the child is."

"You want to ask whether it is a mortal or a monster?"

"Hahahahahahaha, I believe you have the same doubts."

Regardless of whether it was born with a human being or a demon, if it is true, the Jade Emperor will lose his lord.Don't forget how the Jade Emperor treated his sister Yaoji and daughter Seventh Princess.

When the younger sister and daughter were with mortals, the Jade Emperor was so upright and merciless, and let the immortals see what is the difference between immortals, immortals, monsters, humans and ghosts, and ghosts.

The Jade Emperor was about to go mad, "Who sent the message! Who is it! Call Qianliyan and Shunfenger to come over, find out who spread the rumors, and punish them severely."

"Yes!"

The king fed the Tianma so fat and strong that he could hardly fly, "My lord, my lord, go to the Pantao Garden to play."

"Peach Garden?"

"Yes, the whole garden is full of peaches."

"Heavenly Court still has such treasures, why didn't I know?"

I shook my fingers mysteriously and said: "Peach Garden is the place of the Queen Mother. There are countless peaches on every tree. They are all fairy peaches. They are very precious. Usually no one can enjoy them. I have found out clearly that only It is a great blessing to be able to eat one during the Pantao Party."

"Peach Club?"

"Your Majesty doesn't know, the Peach Festival will be held soon. All the gods who can participate have received invitations."

The king rolled his eyes, "Why didn't I receive it?"

"It has been said that the king is a low-level official who raises horses, so how can he be qualified to participate in the Peach Blossom Fair?"

The king was so angry that he changed from a well-bred monkey king to a monkey, "I'm so mad!"

I pulled him down and sat down, "Your Majesty forgot that we didn't come up here to be promoted, but to defeat the Heavenly Court. Have you heard about the Jade Emperor's scandal?"

"I heard that you are..."

Mystically, I lowered my voice: "It's me. This is the first step in my grand plan to destroy the Heavenly Court. It still needs the cooperation of the King. The Heavenly Court is already dead. Look at those gods, which one is not powerful and which one is not fragrant?" , but they are all rotten, it’s just that they can’t see it on the surface, so many disasters in the world are caused by gods like them, they don’t care about the life and death of mortal monsters, and those who look good, are they really clean? ? If you check carefully, none of them are clean, it is the Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss in the Western Paradise... Those Buddha Arhats just read a few scriptures and pretended that the four elements are all empty, but they are all the same thing, fighting for the incense."

"Sooner or later, the Heavenly Court will be over, we are just pushing."

The king looked at me and smiled, "You are more like a fox than a monkey."