Absolutely retarded option

Three sick girls slept next to me, which caused me to fail the midterm exam, which was 36 points more than the second in the school year.Last time it was a full [-] points.

I didn't do well in the exam, and I was very depressed.

General subjects are going to be on vacation after the midterm exams, but hero subjects... Anyway, they are going to practice.

I went to the sauna first and went home and turned on the computer.Log in to the light novel website and look at the readers who are waiting to be fed.

That's right, I'm still an Internet writer who debuted in junior high school, earning millions of yen a month when I was only 14 years old.So far this year, it has earned nearly [-] million yen.

I've been so busy these days that I don't have time to write properly.

The contents of the light novels are all from the worlds that have been visited, because it is especially handy to write because they have seen or heard about it with their own eyes.

The Kang Mazi card was placed on the computer desk, very quiet and charming.I touched my chest, and I don't know when the two-meter eight swords will wake up.

Then let's choose.

I never know what is the mechanism that triggers the absolute option.

【Do you want your knife back?Then choose ①The Road of Swordsman ②The Road of Swordsman and Conqueror]

I wiped my eyes and was slightly relieved to make sure it was the conqueror and not the explorer.

1 and 2 can be said that 1 is a subset of 2. Isn’t knifesmith just forging knives?

But swordsmith and conquest, is it the story of a blacksmith conquering the world? Do I want to be a reckless emperor?

But it sounds like the Conqueror is very handsome, it must be me who abused others.

It's completely the routine of Long Aotian's novels. If you die a few companions, you will explode. What kind of emperor should you think about, Dao Le Da Di?It sounds like a copycat version of Emperor Yongle.

In any case, 2 is an option for hanging up the sky.

"Choose 2!" I was so excited for the first time.

Memoirs of Ms. Gardenia: In those years, Toyotomi Hideyoshi and Oda Nobunaga used to prostitute me together.

The so-called swordsmith is a person who forges iron into a knife.

Is this explanation too simple?

But simplicity is not necessarily bad.

At this moment, I am in Japan during the Warring States period. To be honest, I have no idea what Japan is or what Warring States period is. It’s just that everyone said so and I called it so.

I was taken in by a monk named Master Sancun in his temple that was about to close down, "Listen, never go out."

The mage ordered so.

About a month ago, I opened my eyes behind Master Sancun. I may never know the answer to how I appeared in his room and lost my memory. After losing my memory, I pondered for a while and thought I should call ——Oda Nobunaga.

Waiting for the master to go out for alms... It is said that the monks in other temples are big landlords. Why is Master Sancun so poor?Is it because his dharma name is not liked by men and women?People really can't face their own shortcomings as usual.

As soon as the mage left, I slipped away on the back.

I have to say that this city called Kyoto gives me a very shabby feeling, and being poor is really poor.

Although I don't remember anything, the feeling of "I am a rich man" has never been shaken. Presumably the mage can only melt salted radish and natto back.I want food, not bloody fodder.

Walking outside a teahouse, I sat down, but the waiter didn't come up to greet me, he gave me a very indifferent look, just like looking at the lazy mangy dog ​​in the opposite corner.

"Have you heard? The famous sword called Knee Maru was bought by Master Toyotomi Hideyoshi for 1 taels."

"Gold, gold!"

The passing merchants exclaimed so.

I'm a little surprised that famous knives are so valuable.So I approached two merchants and greeted them with a smile, "Good afternoon, both of you."

"Oh, Hello."

Cao Wuxin almost nodded, "What do you want?"

"Ah... it's a small matter to trouble your Excellency..."

In the evening, Master Sancun came back from alms. He kicked off his shoes and turned into a wretched monk. He greeted me across several corridors, "Nobunaga! Come out for dinner."

"Don't eat, I'm not hungry!"

"You're welcome, I got a lot of food, including salted fish! Come and eat!"

Salted fish

Salted fish

Salted fish

Why is it salted fish again!

"I really want to stuff salted fish up your nostrils." I said.

at night

I chatted with Sancun, discussing the national economy and the people's livelihood.

Master Sancun slapped his bald head, "What? You said you were going to be a knifemaker?! Can you forge knives? Don't you remember everything?"

"I don't remember anything." I said calmly, "But, somewhere, I feel that I can still do small things like forging knives."

Master Sancun simply farted back at me.

So I was going to become a knifesmith, first of all I had to prepare a workshop, and then I had to prepare iron ingots.

Standing at the door of the blacksmith shop, "Boss, you are not joking, this is the best iron ingot in your shop."

"Yes, sir, look at what a fine piece of iron it is, and it will surely make the most perfect sword."

"Don't you have steel ingots here?"

"Steel? That kind of legendary thing, some blacksmiths can't make iron out of it after a lifetime of hammering."

Well, why are there so many reasons to keep me from being a cutler.

Maybe, I still have the talent to be a blacksmith.

"Boss, I can forge steel ingots."

I thought the boss would be ecstatic and treat me like a father, begging me to teach him every trick.But the result——

The smithy owner and his son's apprentice pushed me out of the smithy.

"Where is the lunatic, bah."

Sure enough, I was ridiculed by Master Sancun again this day.

I don't know why I always feel that someone is following me secretly. When I turn around, there are strange people pretending to be passers-by and looking around.

This tracking technology is weak.

At this moment, in a fortified courtyard, a middle-aged man wearing a general's costume had a gloomy face. His monkey-like face was a bit ridiculous. It was because of this face that he had the nickname "Monkey" in his early years, but now, no one You can call him that contemptuously.

The man's name was Toyotomi Hideyoshi.

"are you sure?"

"Yes." The ninja prostrated on the ground said, "It is indeed that adult."

Toyotomi Hideyoshi clenched the hand holding the teacup tightly. Toyotomi Hideyoshi had followed Oda Nobunaga for decades and knew that person very well, but at the same time he didn't know him at all.Oda Nobunaga is a mysterious figure. He rises like a comet and advances all the way, as if favored by fate. His enemy died suddenly before the decisive battle, and he took the initiative to make way for Oda Nobunaga to seize the world. However, Oda Nobunaga Tian Nobunaga died like a comet.

"Where's his face?"

"...It's still, it's still the same as before, except that the hair is white."

Anyone who has followed Oda Nobunaga knows that Oda Nobunaga's appearance will always stay at the age of 20, and the young man who came out in Kyoto a few days ago has exactly the same face as Oda Nobunaga, and the same unconstrained ideas, although Oda Nobunaga Nagao has been dead for 20 years, but Toyotomi Hideyoshi never believed that Oda Nobunaga would die so easily, but who in the world is immortal, Oda Nobunaga can be an exception?

"Find out how he appeared?"

"The subordinate is incompetent?"

"The mausoleum..."

"No exception."

Hideyoshi was silent for a while, then waved people down.

Many days later, I was in a daze in the temple. Master Sancun seemed to be in love recently and always ran out.

Thinking about it, the temple is still quite a large property, and there are a lot of fields, which seems to be very attractive to women.

At noon, the copper bell hanging on the gate of the temple was rang.

"Excuse me, is Master Sancun here?"

A woman in a pink kimono asked at the door.

"The mage went out in the morning and hasn't come back yet."

"Yeah." The woman called out in a low voice, "I made an appointment with the mage, but he hasn't come for a long time. I'm worried that something happened to him."

She opened her deer-like eyes, "I don't know what to do."

I hate to see a woman cry, so I decided to close my eyes.

So I closed the door.

The woman's face was blurred by the door being slammed shut, and she was dumbfounded.

I can't get used to this kind of woman who threatens others by crying at every turn.After the woman left, I took a stick and went out to look for Sancun.

There is not even a single knife in this temple.

Really poor.

By the way, where can Sancun go?

Kabuki Street?

I stopped the old man who often hung out with Sancun, "Hey, do you know where Sancun is?"

"Oh, today is Miss Huawu Zhizi's water raising ceremony..." The uncle took a sip, "It has nothing to do with him to join in the fun."

It turned out to be the ceremony of Qing Guan's launching into the sea.

Hanaya is also well-known in Kabuki Street, but I have never been there. I really don’t like women with geisha makeup.This kind of makeup is mostly from the ladies' makeup of the Tang Dynasty, and its aesthetics are unreasonable.

After searching for a while, I arrived at the flower house. At the moment, the flower house was crowded with people. I heard that Miss Gardenia's benefactor is Toyotomi Hideyoshi's adopted son Toyotomi Hideji.

There are three floors in the flower house and three floors outside. It is estimated that it is difficult to find three inches.

So I found a wooden pier and sat down, and at the same time an old man also took a fancy to this wooden pier.The moment the eyes meet, it seems like a flash of light and flint, ha ha.

I am not a good citizen who respects the old and loves the young, "Master, what are you doing here, begging for abuse?"

The old man had an epiphany immediately, and his face turned dark. I sat down first and threw the dog-beating stick across my knees.

Unexpectedly, the old man had a good temper and actually smiled.

"Do you, a virgin, have the right to say such things? This old man has always married more than a dozen women. As for the ones who haven't married... Ha ha."

Furious grandpa!

"I heard that none of your sons were born by you?"

"That's all rumors! This old man can stand up to the sky every morning!"

"None of your sons were born by you?"

"I don't know how many women are crying and shouting to marry this old man!"

"None of your sons were born by you?"

"However, the old man dismissed it."

"None of your sons were born by you!"

"Of course it wasn't born by the old man! The old man is a man."

After a long time, the old man and I were tired from arguing and sat down to drink some water.

"So old man, are you here to whore?"

The old man said: "I heard that Miss Gardenia's shamisen is quite ancient."

"By the way?"

"This can be."

The old man and I quickly exchanged ambiguous male gazes.

"My lord, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, do you know your surname?" The old man stretched out his hand and returned Toyotomi Hideyoshi.

I don't need to pretend at all, "This is Oda Nobunaga."

"Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you."

The old man: "It's better to hit the sun than to choose the day. How about the two of you and Miss Zhizi having a threesome together?"

Unexpectedly, this old man is quite good at playing!

Me: "Go together, go together, I have another brother, I have admired Miss Zhizi for a long time..."

“Foursome, excellent, excellent!”

Toyotomi Hideji thought his eyes were blurred when he saw Toyotomi Hideyoshi, otherwise how could he see his father?

Toyotomi Hideyoshi said solemnly: "I have something to discuss with this young man, you should leave first."

Toyotomi Hideji reluctantly gave up Miss Gardenia to his godfather.

Flower house, Miss Gardenia's room.

The four of them knelt on the ground, and Miss Zhizi poured the wine.

If you want to say that Toyotomi Hideyoshi is the most feared, respected and awe-inspiring man in his life, then it must be Oda Nobunaga, and at this moment, Toyotomi Hideyoshi is standing at the top of this era, and the bones he is stepping on are With Oda Nobunaga, Nobunaga would be killed by Akechi Mitsuhide, how could that man have this ability, Oda Nobunaga's death is determined by the times, it is destiny!Destiny let Nobunaga seize the world, and let him fall like a comet at the last moment. Compared with Nobunaga who died of lingering sickness after seizing the world, it is the romance of a man to say goodbye to the world in this way.

And now...

Toyotomi Hideyoshi looked at the young man sitting opposite him calmly. He looked about 20 years old at the most. , You must know that the status of monks in the Warring States Period was quite high.

And the three of them came together just for one woman.

Miss Gardenia had long been reminded that the oldest old man was Toyotomi Hideyoshi, and she was so frightened that the young lady trembled when she walked. Fortunately, she was sitting on her knees, but when pouring wine for Toyotomi Hideyoshi , she still sneaked a glance at Master Toyotomi's legs, at such a great age, she can still play with her whoring, what if she played her to death in the flower house?Ms. Zhizi seemed to see a new Warring States era rising. She turned out to be the woman who ended the old era and started a new era. Presumably history will write a lot about her.Wait, it's also possible that Master Toyotomi brought the young people over after he found out that he was dying, and he came to watch it?The general habit of a big man, this young man looks so handsome, presumably the Genji son written in Murasaki Shikibu Hime's book is also slightly inferior. As for the mage, he seems to be similar to Toyotomi-sama. The type that will be played to death.No wonder this kind of man invented many props, in the final analysis, he was useless.

But as long as there is this young master, Zhizi's night will not be wasted.

Wait, what did you just say, young man?

"Under Oda Nobunaga, I met Miss Gardenia."

Don't forget about this handsome lord, don't think that the oiran is ignorant, in fact, she has another identity, she is an Iga ninja, who specializes in collecting information. Long name taboo?

So, you are Oda Nobunaga?

What a joke, if Oda Nobunaga is alive, he is of the same generation as Lord Toyotomi Hideyoshi, and he may not be younger than Lord Toyotomi by a few years.

After drinking for three rounds, Toyotomi Hideyoshi said to Master Sancun: "Master, how about we chatting in another place?"

do not.

Master Sancun is excited at the moment. He always feels that a new chapter of life has opened after the end of the year. He never thought that Toyotomi Hideyoshi would not bring him to play, so he looked at me dissatisfied. What can I do?Should I take the initiative to invite Toyotomi Hideyoshi?

"Hideyoshi, didn't you just agree, don't back down."

I found that Toyotomi Hideyoshi didn't have any enthusiasm for Miss Gardenia at the moment. Could it be that he was too old?A generation of outstanding people can't bear the tempering of the years, and the embroidery needles are also worn out.

Toyotomi Hideyoshi and Master Sancun left. Before Sancun left, Sancun looked at me with hatred, hoping that I could stop him at the last moment. I'm sorry, Sancun, I'm afraid you and I can't do this iron of the four major irons of men It's here, I'm afraid it will affect my appetite.

Miss Zhizi looked at me shyly. She was wearing a complicated purple brocade, which was very hard to take off.

But for me, this is definitely fun, I gently peel off layer after layer, layer after layer, as if peeling an onion, Miss Gardenia's skin is really very white, and her breasts are also very magnificent .

Seven hours and [-] words are omitted below.

Miss Gardenia is nestling in my broad chest, yes, I have captured her.

There is a hot spring behind the flower house. Miss Zhizi asked me about my background while massaging my shoulders, "I am a knife maker."

Cutler?

Miss Zhizi frowned, a craftsman is not a noble person.

"Now I live with Master Sancun."

Miss Zhizi's massage force suddenly increased.

"Since being taken in by the mage these days, he and I have become brothers who talk about everything. What troubles me is that the mage also likes Miss Zhizi, which makes me very embarrassed."

Calm down, Gardenia.

This man is a person whom Lord Toyotomi wants to entertain, and his status must be extraordinary. At this moment, he said that he is just a mere knife maker, and he must be trying to test me.

So Ms. Zhizi continued to exude a Yamato Nadeko-like smile, and her hand involuntarily slid across my sexy abs and mermaid lines, "Then you must have made a very famous sword, but Zhizi doesn't know about swords , I wonder if my lord can say something for Gardenia?"

This is a bit difficult, although sooner or later I will become a swordsmith who forges the world's best swords, but at this moment I don't have any works that I can produce. Anyway, Miss Zhizi knows nothing about swords, so I can make up some to deceive her.

However, I am a man who can't bear to lie to women.

"To be honest, I have never forged my own sword. When I first arrived in Kyoto, I was taken in by a mage. I aspired to become a swordsmith, but I had no capital and no workshop."

So are you an ideal sales professional who only has a face and a body and a strong ability to have sex?Do you think that I, Zhizi, will spend my private money on you like those stupid women?

Ridiculous.

As a well-educated and self-cultivated husband, Ms. Zhizi resisted the desire to kick the man in front of her, and dared to come to the flower house without money. Fortunately, all his expenses were paid by Toyotomi Hideji-sama yesterday. Although Lord Toyotomi Hideji's face did not catch her eyes, but in this era, a man's power, power and wealth are the first considerations.

So I was politely invited out of the flower house by Miss Zhizi. I just wanted to ask Miss Zhizi when to make an appointment again, but Miss Zhizi just gave me a shy smile and closed the door.

It must be too shy.It occurred to me that it might not be long before a maid sent me a letter paper smelling like gardenias.

With good expectations, I returned to the temple.

Master Sancun is still sleeping.

I'm a little hungry, and after a night of fighting at Ms. Gardenia's place, I can still get up like a dragon and a tiger, which has raised the average sex value of this generation of Yamato men.

I went to the kitchen, and everything in the kitchen felt very strange to me. I discovered something that I had never noticed before, that is, I had never been in the kitchen before, and it took me a long time to find the rice tank. Opened the lid and saw it was empty.The oil jar, empty, the salt jar, empty.I only found a jar of pickled radishes that had been hidden by three inches in a pothole, and it was still smelly.It is said that the smellier the pickled radish is, the better it tastes. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I refuse to put this kind of thing in my mouth anyway.

Now I know that I misunderstood three inches, it turns out that he tries his best to find me food every time, and I don't even want to have sex with him!

Of course I don't want to, that's my wife, and it's not the Xiuzi who came to see him that day, a woman of that level can't even make me interested.

So I staggered back to Sancun's room and kicked his ass, "Sancun, wake up, I'm hungry, our family has no food to eat, why don't you sell the temple."

Sancun woke up, "If I want to sell it, I will sell it sooner. You think the real estate industry in Kyoto is so easy to do. Just after the war, there are many empty houses, and there are more open spaces. You can build a house in any place. Still using money to buy land?”

Even the real estate industry in the capital of a country is in such decline, there is no hope for this country.

"Yesterday you turned your back on me and enjoyed Miss Zhizi alone!" The mage was furious as soon as he said this.

I only enjoyed it once or twice, and after that, it was Miss Zhizi who took the initiative to enjoy the pure body of my fine young man, so I was still at a loss, after all, men and women are equal.

Seeing that I hadn't spoken for a long time, the mage asked, "What are you thinking?"

I sighed, "Kyoto is so poor, even being a swordsmith is so difficult. I want to cross to the country across the sea. I heard that it is an extremely powerful dynasty, and I must be in great need of talents like me."

The mage laughed at my whimsy, "Let's not talk about crossing the sea and narrowly escaped death. You are from Yamato, and the country on the other side of the sea calls us Japanese pirates. If you see us, you will kill them."

I stroked my smooth ponytail, "Impossible, I haven't shaved my head."

The tsukiyo head of the samurai that is often seen on the street is ugly compared to the dog eyebrows and dog lips painted by geisha, which has nothing to do with beauty at all.

The three-inch stomach grumbled, "Compared to Xidu, let's think about what to eat next, otherwise, we will all starve to death."

Master Sancun couldn't bear the crime of starving Nobunaga to death, and exchanged the body of the Buddha for half a bag of brown rice from the women who admired him.

"Sancun, that's all you have for spending the night?"

The mage gave me a blank look, and stuffed rice into his mouth, "That woman is from a good family and runs a hot soup restaurant, otherwise, which woman in this year would bring out half a bag of rice. You do it, you go."

The woman who runs a hot spring hotel?

"Is that the proprietress who provides special services to customers? Does she still need a man?"

The mage showed a shy expression, "She, maybe..."

Seeing Sancun's ashamed look, I understood that the proprietress may have found the dignity of being a woman in Sancun.

It's not easy for anyone these days.

"I made an appointment with her to go there every three days...we won't starve at last." Sancun said with a holy father smile.

So flashy.

Doesn't this guy realize that I'm eating and drinking here for nothing?

"You are such a good monk!"

Three inches!

Having read a lot of poetry and books, I know what it means to have enough food and clothing to know honor and disgrace. Don’t worry about getting out of the singles until you get rid of poverty. It’s important to fill the five internal organs temple.

So Sancun and I are planning to reclaim wasteland. The site for reclaiming wasteland is the vegetable garden and the back mountain of the temple. The vegetable garden has at least five acres of land. As for the wasteland in the back mountain, there is more land. All belong to Saninch.

No wonder it is said that Japanese farmers are big landlords.

"You didn't plan to plant so much land."

Even if it's just a vegetable garden, you won't be hungry enough to beg.

Sancun held a hoe and a pickaxe, and said lazily, "I'm the host, so I don't want to farm by myself."

So I quickly dug a big hole and threw Sancun into it, "Bury you in the soil and see if you can grow some."

Amidst the screams of three inches, I quickly filled the soil, only the dog's head was exposed outside.

In the next few days, I didn't receive any floral-scented letterhead from Miss Gardenia.

"Maybe you treat him because of love, but he treats you as a client." Sancun held a straw stick in his mouth, pouted his buttocks, and loosened the soil for the radish.

"The radish is about to ripen, I'll make you radish buns."

Although I don't even know oil and salt, I'm sure I can cook, just like I'm sure I can forge knives.

"Nonsense! Miss Zhizi is not such a casual woman!"

"I'm going to get married today. Keiko introduced me to a new woman. Her husband is born weak and can't let her get pregnant. He can only ask me."

It turned out to be a walking marriage.

A custom in which it is taken for granted that men are not responsible.

Japan is such a wonderful place.

I said jealously: "If there is such a good thing, don't think about me."

Sancun said triumphantly, "You're still young, but I'm a veteran at this."

The three inches of a big man in Tantric Buddhism is indeed qualified to look down on me. From some dusty corner, he dug out a secret book of acacia produced by Tantric Buddhism and handed it to me, so that I can study hard and strive to become a man like him as soon as possible .

It is an invincible custom to charge for whoring.

I picked up the book and read it eagerly, and I really benefited a lot.

This book is called "Dongxuanzi", and it was passed down from the Tang Dynasty overseas.

Not only is the wording elegant, it can be called a Buddhist Baopuzi.

The three-inch eye circle is blue, the legs are trembling, and she came back with a bag of gold. It seems that the woman introduced by the lady proprietress of the hot spring is noble and can bring out a bag of gold.

Sancun sat down and panted heavily, "Now we don't have to go hungry, Nobunaga, you can also be rich as a knifesmith."

I was very moved, "Sancun, why do you treat me like this."

Sancun wanted to say that it is profitable, but he couldn't say that, so he said: "My family members should be compassionate."

I accepted Master Sancun's kindness, and a few days later, a brand new forging furnace was skillfully built by Sancun.

A mage in the family is like a treasure.

Looking at the brand new forging furnace, I couldn't hold back, "Let me forge a knife first."

I threw iron, charcoal and other materials into the forging furnace, made noise in the bellows, picked up the hammer and beat it smoothly, and Sancun exclaimed: "You really know how to forge knives."

"Although I have no memory, my instinct is not wrong."

I put the forged knife in a special curing solution, and I took a notebook to record its data: 2 feet 8 inches 3 points.