Absolutely retarded option

As a pig, Marshal Tianpeng definitely doesn’t eat pork. Maybe he raises a lot of pigs but never eats or sells them.This is easy to find.

It didn't take me much effort to find Zhujiazhuang, a hundred miles away from Gaolaozhuang. The owner, Zhu Peng, is a professional pig farmer.

Raised more than 100 pigs but never eaten them, sold them, and people came to buy pigs or breed them, all were driven out.However, Zhu Peng worked hard to raise these pigs by farming and working hard. He served them very carefully, and even dug graves and inscribed monuments for each dead pig.There are always people or beasts to dig graves, especially in famine years.

When I arrived at Zhujiazhuang, I found an old farmer, "Where is your farm owner?"

"Hey, someone went to dig a pig grave again, and was caught by the owner of the village and beat him to death. The government wanted to arrest him, but the owner ran away."

Something's wrong, isn't the government able to buy it with some money?When a thief is killed, the government has to investigate when the efficiency of the government is so high?

I don't believe it, there should be something else wrong.

"Where did Zhu Peng go?"

The farmer said he didn't know.

"I think you want to protect him." I said sharply.

"If you don't know, you don't know. It's useless for you to ask me." As expected of a professional pig farmer, dead pigs are not afraid of boiling water. "This girl, what do you want from my master?"

"He and I have made a baby kiss since we were young, and he disappeared when there was a flood..."

The farmer regained his spirits all of a sudden, "Wait a minute."

So he took me to a certain cave, "Master, your fiancée who has been engaged since childhood has come to look for you."

Marshal Tianpeng was very confused, his old pig lady became a sperm and betrothed him?

After meeting, Marshal Tianpeng looked at me suspiciously, "Girl, you look familiar."

"Do you talk to all the pretty girls like that?" I winked at Marshal Canopy.

"I was wrong."

He didn't recognize me after all, "Well, I've never heard of a baby girl."

"That was all 20 years ago. You are several years older than me, our mother..."

Listening to Marshal Canopy, he suddenly realized that he had met a liar!

The female liars have all tricked you, Grandpa Pig. See if he doesn't come up with tricks, come and cheat money and sex!

"I found out about you at my aunt's house, so I found you here."

Gao Laozhuang's senior member, isn't that the kind-hearted person who saved his mother's life more than 20 years ago?

"Are you his niece?"

"Exactly. Uncle has prepared leeks and is waiting for us at home, let's go quickly."

Marshal Tianpeng forgives these mortals for not being able to cause any trouble in his hands, "Girl, lead the way."

So I took Zhu Bajie back to Gao Laozhuang, Gao Yuanwai recognized him as soon as he saw him.

"Member, you have had a good life these years. This house is really nice."

"It's all thanks to you." Gao Yuanwai shrewdly did not express his curiosity that Zhu Bajie's face had not changed.

"Here, Uncle." I called out.

The high official looked puzzled and called me.

I grabbed Zhu Bajie's sleeve, "He is the husband I married with my fingertips."

Gao Yuanwai was dumbfounded, what did the female monk say.

Tang Sanzang was also taken aback.

Bajie saw Tang Sanzang and asked curiously who it was.

I said, "He's here to witness our marriage."

Bajie: "Okay, okay, good monk."

At this moment, he was also a little puzzled. After the meal, after Gao Yuanwai arranged a guest room for him, he came to me and asked what happened, "Master, what do you want to do?"

"just wait."

At night, Marshal Tianpeng drank his sorrows away, and Tang Sanzang sneaked past. Seeing this famous second senior brother, he felt complicated, "Master Zhu."

"Just call me Zhu Peng."

"Zhu Peng, why are you drinking alone? You should be happy about getting married soon."

"Yes, but as soon as I saw Miss Gao, I felt that she was the one I wanted to marry."

Tang Sanzang almost spit out a sip of wine, and the plot went so far that the second senior brother still couldn't forget Miss Gao, whether it was the effect of tides or gravity.

"If Miss Sun found out, how sad she would be."

That's right, I am Miss Sun.

"Speaking of Miss Sun, I always feel that I have seen her somewhere. Could it be that I looked back 500 years ago, ah, since ancient times, there is no hatred left in love, and this hatred lasts forever..."

Marshal Tianpeng is not only a soldier, but also a general, and even a poet.

Tang Sanzang thought to himself, you did meet in Heaven 500 years ago.We have known each other for a while, and he also figured out the identity of the pirated female senior brother, ah, she should be called the senior sister, she is actually Sun Wufan, the second king of the Huaguo Mountain Water Curtain Cave in the Aolai Country of Dongsheng Shenzhou. Together with the Great Sage Equaling Heaven, he was recruited by the Heavenly Court, and had a relationship with the Bull Demon King. He was pressed under the Five Elements Mountain by the Buddha. After 500 years, he was enlightened by Guanyin Bodhisattva and protected him to go to the West to learn scriptures.

Thinking of this, Tang Sanzang could not wait to curse, what are you doing? Huaguo Mountain still has two kings!It's called Sun Wufan!

"I don't know what my brother's name is." Marshal Tianpeng asked.

"I, my name is Tang Sanzang?"

Marshal Tianpeng was shocked, "Tang Sanzang!"

Oops, exposed.

"You are a pilgrim from the Eastern Tang Dynasty. Guanyin Bodhisattva asked me to wait for you here. Originally, I wanted to live in Gaolaozhuang, but the Bull Demon King took this place. The old cow's sense of territory is too strong. I stay here..."

Marriage, don't worry about it too much, just pray to heaven and earth, the next morning I will wear a big red jacket, and I am going to get married.

The groom sneered at me at the wedding, "Monkey Sun! Who did I think it was! It was you!"

He actually recognized me!

I looked at Tang Sanzang who was hiding behind the pillar and laughed endlessly.

This grandson actually betrayed me!

"What are you doing this for!" Marshal Tianpeng was furious.

"It's a little bit more festive to meet again after a long absence." I said.Then he pulled Tang Sanzang over, "Come, come, I have met the master."

"It's time for you to choose a name for the old pig. He is considered to be of Wuzi generation. How about Wutian?"

Tang Sanzang: Not much.

"It's not appropriate, it's too big." Tang Sanzang said, "I think Wu Neng is not bad. I will give you another Dharma title, Bajie. I hope you can always remind yourself to abide by Buddhist precepts in the future."

So we added another pig to the Buddhist scriptures team, five pigs, monkeys, horses, dragons, and tigers.As a person with obsessive-compulsive disorder, it is not in my character not to have all the zodiac signs.Rats, cows, rabbits, chickens, dogs, sheep, and snakes are still seven.

There must be twelve men on my boat.

"Sanzang, what is your zodiac sign?"

"mouse."

Not much more, this time there are still six.

It is expected that there will be Bull Demon King, Jade Rabbit, Chicken Essence, Roaring Dog, Goat Essence, and Snake Essence.

Where can I find chicken essence and sheep essence?I remember that in Journey to the West, there was a Yang Jing who was a national teacher, but he was very ugly, so I can't have him.There is also a chicken essence, which is also very useful for preventing insects.

There must be twelve little friends on my boat, and there must be no one missing.

Before leaving Gaolaozhuang, I sent an invitation to the Bull Demon King and asked him if he would go to learn Buddhist scriptures together, "You owe me this." Sure enough, the Bull Demon King was in the trap, but how could he go to learn scriptures? The baby arrived, and I looked at the little doll in a red bellyband, "You? Where's your horn?"

Red Boy: "I'm not yet old enough to grow horns."

"Then change back to your original form and show me."

"I'm not good at magic." Red Boy looked at Tang Sanzang with salivating eyes. Tang Sanzang was very scared, but he didn't forget that Red Boy was also one of the people who wanted to eat Tang Sanzang's meat.

At night, after a few somersaults, I turned up to the Heavenly Court and went to the Moon Palace. The Laurel Tree was so happy, "You came to see me?"

"No." I said ruthlessly, "I'm here to find the jade rabbit. By the way, it's a male rabbit, right?"

The laurel tree is still brooding about it. It’s been more than five hundred days and I don’t think about him. “It’s a male rabbit.”

I sneaked into the Guanghan Palace and found the Jade Rabbit in the belly pocket next to Chang'e's bed.

Clutching its mouth and nose, it ran into the garden. Jade Rabbit kicked its legs wildly, "You want to murder me!"

"You are so fat, you should be roasted long ago. Yutu, do you want to go to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures with me?"

"Why? I can't read." Yutu said confidently.

"Are you saying that you are a little pursuing, hanging out with Chang'e every day and sleeping in her belly pocket at night, is it interesting?"

Yutu: "Interesting! I have done what men all over the world dream of doing."

"I'll roast you if you don't come with me."

"This Rabbit Immortal..."

etc!I seem to remember a female rabbit who fell in love with Tang Seng and pretended to be a princess, "Is there a female rabbit in Guanghan Palace?"

"It's just me, what's wrong?"

"Aren't your rabbits able to choose their gender like a vixen?"

Yutu got angry, "How dare you compare the noble me with Sao Fox? I am normal."

"If you don't go, I'll roast you."

"If you have the courage to say that you have the ability, you roast it!" After the jade rabbit transformed, it was unsurprisingly in the shape of a recipient, "If you dare to roast, I will never eat grass in my life."

The dead rabbit dared to threaten me.

"Hehe, I'm afraid you don't know how to write the word dead." I used the freeze technique to freeze the jade rabbit neatly, and then made a fire to cook, "According to the rules, I should take a wooden stick through your mouth and then go from * poked it out, but my old grandson has always been kind to others and never done things that hurt nature and reason."

I carried the jade rabbit and put it on the shelf, and it all came to life.

"What flavor do you like... called a rabbit? Pepper and salt or cumin?"

"You fucking let me go!" Jade Rabbit growled.

"Your rabbit is really golden and jade. What's your name? You'll have a share when it's finished roasting. Do you like rabbit legs or rabbit heads?"

"You grilled me and asked me which piece I want to eat!"

"Will you go to learn scriptures?"

"Pohou don't want to hold you, Mr. Rabbit!"

He actually admitted that he was Lord Rabbit, what a warrior.I looked at Yutu with admiration, and he howled like a pig, "It's singed!"

"Even if your fur is scorched, it will take a lot of effort to grow it back. Can you guarantee that Chang'e will not empathize with other rabbits during this period of time, and stop loving you? You know, women are the easiest to like the new and hate the old. of." Like me.

Jade Rabbit suddenly felt a sense of crisis. Indeed, although the woman Chang'e was as beautiful as a flower, she was really not from Changqing. She was in love with her descendants back then, but she ran away no matter what. And secretly send a glance to Erlang God...

I added to the fire, "If you don't agree, I will give Chang'e a cat tomorrow, which is more likable than your husband rabbit. Besides, the sky is one day and the earth is one year. For Chang'e, you will lose a few days. Maybe she will love you more."

Yutu finally compromised and muttered, "Why do you insist on asking me to learn scriptures? I told you that I am not a reckless man, I don't know how to fight, or you think the way to learn scriptures is too lonely and want to find someone to sleep with, I don't agree! You Sassy Monkey!"

I looked at him contemptuously, "You still want to sleep with you? It's a good idea."

After the rabbit and the cow are settled, it's better to fool the Xiaotian dog.

I went to the Zhenjun Temple, and the Roaring Dog smelled the smell of monkeys from afar, and looked at me vigilantly, "What did you do to the Nitianying?"

By the way, there is also the Eagle against the Sky, I forgot about him, "You said Eagle, he was hooked by a fish spirit, and he probably won't come back. He also asked me to bring you a letter. As for the letter, it seems that once I will use it if I don’t have any paper..."

The Xiaotian dog got angry and seemed to bite me.

"Don't worry, I'm here to see you for business."

"What serious business do you have with me!"

"I have a plan to learn Buddhist scriptures from the West, and I need your participation."

"Don't go." Xiao Tiangou kept digging the ground, maybe he wanted to dig a hole to bury me, "It's the idea of ​​the Buddha and Bodhisattva that you go to learn scriptures, you can't make decisions privately."

"It's really shameful that you have a house of gods and let the monks from outside be the masters of the house." I said contemptuously.

Xiaotiangou blushed, but the situation was stronger than people, so there was nothing he could do.

"How about this, you go with me to fetch the Western scriptures, and when we get to Lingshan and get the scriptures, we will kill Tang Sanzang and eat meat, how about it?"

Xiaotiangou looked at me with a doggy face, as if he was watching a monkey.He turned around and wagged his tail, ready to leave.

I said from behind my buttocks: "Xiaotiangou, please be careful not to keep your tail up all the time, I can see your so-and-so!"

Xiaotian dog's dog nature is hard to change. He always feels uncomfortable walking on two legs, but no one has ever raised this issue. He became angry from embarrassment, "Won't you stop watching it!"

"I have sharp eyes, why can't I see it?" I was very sad when I thought that the king was lost by my butterfly. "Do you think Erlang God doesn't care about you anymore?"

Xiao Tiangou said vigilantly: "How do you know?"

It is inevitable to get along for a long time, and it is the same for anyone.

"Do you want Erlang Shen to care about you again?"

"What's your idea?"

"You can leave him for a while, and when he finds out that you are no longer by his side, he will think you are fine."

"In the final analysis, you are still trying to trick me into learning scriptures, I can't be fooled by you." Xiao Tiangou said indifferently.

My Dao Leyan can't even fool a dog now?

"Jade Rabbit agrees."

"Yutu is going too?" Xiaotiangou's dog face suddenly showed a complex emotion, could it be...could it be...he treats Yutu!Poor, the jade rabbit is straight.

"Then I'll go too." Xiao Tiangou quickly changed his words.

This means that there must be a road before the car arrives at the mountain.

There are only sheep, snakes, and chickens left.

Chicken... I suddenly had a flash of inspiration, I went to Nezha, and sneaked into the chicken coop, "Is the Phoenix there?" Of course the chicken coop is just a euphemism, and the two of them built a house on a sycamore tree.

After waiting for a while, no one answered, so I sneaked in, and there was only one chick left in the coop.

"What about your elders?"

"Go out to play."

"When are you coming back."

"Come back in a year."

Come back after 365 years.

I stared at the chick in the chicken coop, "Do you want to play with my grandson in the mortal world?"

"A monkey?"

My face turned black, dead chicken!

"Yes, watch the monkey, and there is a very cute little brother for you to play with." I am referring to Honghaier.

The phoenix chicken just left with me.

There are still snakes and sheep left, and we will look for them slowly later.

Arrived at Gao Laozhuang.

·

Tang Sanzang was dizzy, the sutra learning team unexpectedly expanded to ten people, and they still marched hurriedly.Hong Haier was ordered to take care of Little Phoenix, "Your father asked you to take care of it."

Red boy: "My father?" He looked at Xiao Fenghuang with a dark face. Could this be the illegitimate child of his father and Princess Yumian?Do you want to find a chance to kill him?

I set a time for the big guys, and traveled at least a hundred miles every day.

"Except for Tang Sanzang, they are all goblins, so be patient."

Bajie: "Why don't you call me Master!"

I shouted at the top of my voice: "Big guy, pay attention to the front and go to the territory of the yellow wind monster, be careful!"

But what I didn't expect was that we didn't go to Huang Feng to trouble him, but Huang Feng came to me and handed me cigarettes, "Brother Monkey, long time no see."

I looked at him with a nose that was not a nose and eyes that were not eyes, "Huang Pizi, I didn't expect it to be you, why did you come out of Lingshan?"

"It's just that if you drink a little lamp oil secretly, you will be beaten back to your original shape. I can do it if I don't run away. But you, Brother Monkey, have been handsome for many years."

"Don't worry about it, let me tell you that Tang Sanzang is under my cover now, if I want to eat him, I won't agree. I haven't finished my mouth yet,"

"Don't dare to dare." Huang Feng blamed with a smile, "I heard that my brother recruited many people to go to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures along the way. Also enlightened."

Me: "I think you want to become a Buddha, you have a shallow mind but a deep mind."

"Hey hey hey..."

It's hard to handle now, he's neither a sheep nor a snake, "All right, you go with us, but you have to pay your own way to join the war team."

"At your own expense, what kind of a charter is it?"

I opened my mouth like a lion, "It's just that I can't take you to the west to seek the scriptures for nothing. Wouldn't it be a mess if anyone wants to get involved in such a good thing?"

"What brother said is true." Huang Fenggui was so respectful to me that I was too embarrassed to refuse him. "Brother, I have a small fortune and am willing to bear all the expenses on the way to learn the scriptures."

We both took what we needed, and that was it.

Tang Sanzang was neither surprised nor questioned when I brought the Yellow Wind Monster back to learn Buddhist scriptures, as if his soul had ascended to heaven and entered the time of a sage, and he was not surprised by what happened.

In a few days, I ran into the King of Golden Horn, King Yinjiao and their godmother, the shriveled fox. "These three monsters will be killed immediately." Seeing us, the gold-plated Buddhist scriptures team, whose roots are in full bloom, donated their property without accepting their heads. Dare to rob, this is turning back the wheel of history.After walking for several months, the big guys have adapted to the daily marching speed of hundreds of miles.

"Maybe you can reach Lingshan in less than a year if you go on like this." I don't know how many times easier than it took more than ten years to reach Lingshan in the original book. The fake Tang Sanzang thinks so, he can become a Buddha in less than a year, and he dare not even dream think.At this time, Tang Sanzang's mood was as exciting as his grandfather discovering that he could own a Gatling.

"Brother Monkey, I'm a little flustered." Tang Sanzang secretly talked to me. He never called me Gohan, but Brother Monkey. Our master-student relationship does not tolerate outsiders.

"why?"

"I'm going to become a Buddha soon, panic."

"I haven't waited for you from Daughter Country to panic."

Yes, daughter country.

I pressed his bald head, "Remember, if you dare to be half-hearted when you arrive in the daughter's country..." I really can't guarantee whether this Tang Sanzang will bow down under the queen's skirt. "Wait a minute, I'll go back as soon as I go."

I quickly flew to the nearby big city, found a philosophy shop, bought an iron chastity belt, and planned to put it on the pirated version of Tang Sanzang as soon as I arrived in the country of daughters.I don't believe he can break the precept like this.

After walking through one village after another, the little monk thought to himself~ Soon we left the border of the Tang Dynasty along the Silk Road.

It's almost time for the Stans, and my heart is still a little bit square.But since the Stans all speak Datang official dialect, I feel relieved.

The Daughter Country is here as soon as it is said, and I called everyone, "Tell you! When I arrive in the Daughter Country, I will be the boss. You have to listen to me. Their national conditions are like this!"

Tang Sanzang muttered: "It seems that you are not the one who makes the decisions."

Nine of us and two animals entered the daughter country, and many girls stared at us, among which the handsome Tang Sanzang received the most glances.

I yelled, "What are you looking at! That's my grandma's stuff!"

That's right, I don't think there is any difference between protecting Tang Seng to learn Buddhist scriptures from the West and delivering goods.

Tang Sanzang had already put iron chastity pants on in his loose robe, he was so sad and angry that he couldn't cry, this thing was put on by his bed quilt last night, Brother Hou actually put it on him at night Do you trust it?

When I arrived at the inn, I used Huang Fengguai’s money to open a floor. I was soaking in the bath and suddenly remembered something, "What should I do, Junior Brother Sha forgot!"

It’s not too late to have a chance to save everyone, everyone is taking a shower, brushing their teeth, shampooing their hair, and getting a haircut, but I have to go back to Datang in the dark, and come to the boundary of Liusha River, shouting at the river: “Come out, the goblin!”

After a while, a red-haired monster came out. As for why he became a black-haired honest man after he converted to Buddhism, I also want to know.

The shutter general came out, "Who are you?"

"I am Sun Wufan, the great sage who protects Tang Monk from the west to learn scriptures! Are you also sent by the Bodhisattva to protect Tang Monk from learning scriptures!"

The third junior brother was very excited, "Where is the master?"

"Master is ahead, I'm over, I suddenly thought of you, I'm here to pick you up, come with me!" I took my third junior brother to the sky.

After soaring through the clouds and fog for a while, Monk Sha felt that something was wrong, "I have traveled a hundred miles, where is the master?"

"Ahead, not far."

After talking about dozens of words, not far away, we arrived at the country of daughters.

"We have already left Datang."

"Yes, the master is eager to learn from the scriptures, so he left quickly, what a great thing." We entered the hotel, and there were still vacant rooms, "It's getting late, I will take you to see the master every morning."

Therefore, the shutter general stayed there full of doubts.

This is different from what the Bodhisattva said.