[Comprehensive] I thought you were going to attack me

The author has something to say: This chapter is [Memory Killing], and the content is about the heroine between the ages of 19-22.

But this memory will not appear in the text after that, because they have been taken away forever as the [price] for the exchange of different abilities.

①From "The Paradox of Youth" by Mr. Oda Sakunosuke

In addition, there is a small amount of content in the article from "Dazai Osamu and the Dark Ages", so I will not mark it in order not to spoil the atmosphere.

PS:

Judging from the novel, I feel that Oda Saku is a man who is not only sensitive but also full of inner drama. He complained in his heart that Dazai made tofu is really spiritual.But many times his focus is the same as what he said, which makes people full of the urge to complain a second time.

samo887扔了1个地雷投掷时间:2019-07-0312:19:45?

梦里什么都有扔了1个地雷投掷时间:2019-07-0312:33:24?

梦里什么都有扔了1个地雷投掷时间:2019-07-0312:35:25?

ah ah~

Four years ago, Yokohama.

Seragaki Miyuki opened the menu and saw a dozen or so scattered lines in the blank space on the right side of the third page.

[Heh, this boring world. ]

[Mr. So-and-so wants to be with so-and-so son forever, it’s an appointment. ]

[When will the boss be transferred?Should I tell his wife that the other party has found two mistresses, both of whom are underage female high school students. ]

……

……

[The word "youth" is removed from the upper part, leaving the sun and the moon, and the sun and the moon are bright.As long as there is youth, there is light.Sure enough, the spicy curry is better. ]

[This store only has a coffee bar. ]

[......]

And so on.

And the most recent one is a font that Shen Xue is already very familiar with, and it's not too long or too short:

[Tried the way you proposed to tickle, although they didn't settle down, but at least they didn't have to use stick education, I was really relieved. ]

Miyuki knew that this passage was a reply to her.

This is her first visit to Yokohama, but she has been to this coffee shop seven times.

"Please give me a cup of spicy coffee." The 19-year-old girl said to the owner, and then asked, "Also, do you still have that pencil?"

Five minutes later, the two things she mentioned were placed on the table in front of Miyuki.

She took a sip of the coffee first, feeling the subtle taste dissipate on the taste buds, leaving behind a rich aftertaste of coffee on the tongue that became more sensitive due to the tingling.

To be honest, Miyuki doesn't have much obsession with spiciness, and she doesn't think that kind of food that is dyed red is really delicious.

It's just that she often has a very inexplicable feeling - as if in the past many years ago, there was a period of "unbearable" days.At that time, due to some non-subjective reasons, she had to eat a lot of very spicy things every day.

After many years, even if the taste buds still can't get used to this kind of thing, they can't quit it easily.

The woman who firmly believed that as long as she was under 20 years old, she could barely be called a "girl" sighed in her heart.

Then she put the glass aside, picked up the sharpened pencil, and began to write a reply in the margin on the third page.

Before the age of 19, Seragaki Miyuki had never set foot in Yokohama.

At least not in her memory, but from the perspective of memory, she is not as sure as most people - after all, a young man who claims to be 19 years old actually has only nine short years of real memory That's all.

In other words, before she was adopted by her parents at the age of ten, she had no memory of who she was, where she lived in the past, and why she lost her memory.

The reply was only three short lines, but Miyuki wrote it very seriously.After finishing the writing, I casually drew a sketch at the end of the filming yesterday, when a certain senior actress casually mentioned the anime that my child liked recently.

Added a sentence after drawing:

[Perhaps you can draw them? ]

"The first chatting gentleman on the third page of the menu", this is Miyuki's name for this person.

As a coffee shop in a small street in Yokohama that is not in the city center, there are not many customers in this small shop.In terms of the state of decoration and service, the owner does not seem to be opening for money.

For Miyuki, this is a very suitable place-not only does it have spicy coffee that cannot be described in words, but it has almost no possibility of being recognized by fans.

Seragaki Miyuki, 19 years old, is an actor.

To be precise, at the end of last year, it was the new star in the entertainment industry who just won the Newcomer of the Year Award for his debut film "Coward".

The second time I went to this coffee shop to drink coffee, Miyuki discovered the secret on the menu.

Perhaps it is not a "secret", but the owner's "personal taste" or "shop characteristics".Due to the small number of customers, there are only three menus in the entire cafe.

The other two menus are all normal, except for the menu with a piece of color the size of a fingernail missing from the upper right corner. It starts from the corner of the second page and spreads to the middle of the third page like an infectious disease. The thick and thin pen is full of scattered and endless words.

[Oh, this boring world. ]

[Mr. So-and-so wants to be with So-and-so forever, it’s an appointment. ]

It seems that in many stores, the menu version of "message notes" is provided to customers.

When Miyuki noticed the above text for the first time, the one at the bottom of the various comments contained a specious explanation of "youth", but at the end it said "spicy curry is delicious".At that time, Miyuki was also bored waiting, so she asked the clerk to borrow a pencil, and continued as follows:

[This store only has a coffee bar. ]

She forgot what drink she ordered that day, and left after drinking.A week later, purely because I was on the way and I was thirsty, I decided to come in and buy a drink.

Then on the familiar menu, after leaving a message for three sentences, I found the same font as before:

[There is a drink called 'Spicy Coffee' in the shop, it's in the second column from the right on the fifth page.However, the taste is a bit weird, and it is not recommended. ]

She turned two pages, and sure enough, she saw the words "spicy coffee".

It's the exact same name as the cafe near the school in high school.

As a result, Miyuki became a regular customer of this store.

Two months later, the frequency of Miyuki's visits to this store rose to fifteen times, ordering a cup of coffee each time, and then looking for new conversations in that menu.

Perhaps because of the randomness of the menu comments, Miyuki was very casual when writing on it.Although there is often a sense of presence, the preface is often inconsistent.

At first, there were still people talking to her, but after a full sixty days, there was only the gentleman who was secretly marked by Miyuki as "the first chatter on the third page of the menu".

She didn't know who the other person was, what his name was, what he looked like, or whether he was in his 30s or [-]s or over [-] this year.Even the conclusion of "probably a man" is roughly inferred from the habit of using words and making sentences.

When No. 18 came to the coffee shop, Miyuki’s filming in Yokohama was drawing to a close.Before she left that day, she wrote her farewell words on the menu for the first time:

[I am leaving Yokohama soon, and I hope to continue talking with you when I come here again. ]

Three days later, she packed her luggage and planned to bring some local gifts to her friends as souvenirs.When the subway passed the stop of the coffee shop, I hesitated for a few seconds and got off from there.

She ordered a cup of coffee to take away at the front desk, and found the familiar menu on the shelf.I didn't have much hope at first, but unexpectedly saw a line of words added below.

[Everything goes smoothly.

Another: The last time I chatted with the boss, I accidentally heard that you have been drinking spicy coffee.Do you like curry?I recommend a western restaurant in a certain street, which has a special spicy curry rice. ]

Miyuki checked the address and found that it was not too far from this coffee shop.

She looked at the only bag she was carrying in her hand, and decided to walk over to have a look.

It was a small shop, the owner was nearly fifty years old, and his beer belly was so protruding that he couldn't even see his toes when he looked down.The top of the head is a little lonely, and the outer corners of the eyes are full of laugh lines.The yellow apron that has been worn on his body almost becomes a part of his body, making people wonder if he has been dressed like this since he was born.

He froze for a moment when he saw Miyuki, probably because there were very few new faces in this kind of store, especially young women who were very well-dressed.

When Miyuki asked "the restaurant is said to be very spicy and delicious curry rice", he laughed as if he understood something:

"Could you be a friend recommended by Xiaozhi? Although it doesn't look like it."

"Xiaozhi?" Miyuki repeated the pronunciation.

So the shopkeeper also reacted, shook his hand and said:

"It really isn't. It means a child who comes to the store every week, but not today."

After all, they were just new guests, and they didn't mean to talk to each other, so there was no more after two sentences.Soon the hot curry rice was served, Miyuki looked down at the food which was not bad in color, picked up a spoon and took a bite.

"..."

She blinked, and did not show the "very spicy" expression that many new customers often have, a bit like a child eating garlic slices in a dish for the first time.

After a while, he silently lowered his head and dug a second spoonful.

Until a plate of curry rice was eaten, the shop owner couldn't tell from the other person's face whether she thought it was good or not.

However, she did not come a second time.

It was a full year and three months after Miyuki stepped into the border of Yokohama for the second time.

This time it's not a business trip, just a private trip.Due to the "scandal" that a competing company rented a seat during the filming of the new TV series, Miyuki and Nagi Rokudo, who was said to be on a business trip to Yokohama, planned to rest here for a while.

She kind of misses that spicy coffee.

The coffee shop is still open as a matter of course, and even the menu has not been changed.Miyuki opened the long-lost plastic page and found that the third page was already filled.

Even the fourth page is half filled.

If one day this restaurant changed to a new menu, it must be because there is no way to write in the old one... After complaining in my heart, Miyuki began to look for the familiar handwriting inside.

rare.During her fifteen months of absence, though not entirely.But compared with the content of a series of chat records that the two chatted in the past three months, there are almost only sentences such as "Hello" and "Thank you".

The most recent paragraph is separated by seven or eight sentences, and the following is all content that has nothing to do with the other party.Miyuki touched the pencil next to her, and before the coffee was served, she wrote smoothly in the blank space below:

[The last conversation last year, you said that you were thinking about novel creation, do you have a clue now? ]

There is no beginning, no end, no sign and no reference.

But she knew that the other party could read this passage and would give different answers in the same form.

In this way, three years have passed.

***

That was actually a pretty normal day.

If I had to say something special, it was the last day of October, and it was also Miyuki Seragaki's 23rd birthday.

Even though it was her birthday, as a person who just finished filming yesterday and only slept less than four hours for five consecutive days, Miyuki had no intention of celebrating her birthday at all, and just wanted to sleep on the bed for 72 hours.

Then, she suddenly woke up from the dream in a panic-like heartbeat disorder.

The young woman with disheveled hair was sitting on the bed, with a pair of dazed eyes open, as if she couldn't figure out where she was at the moment.

Then she shivered suddenly and came fully awake.

—she felt it, and she saw it.

It felt like a dream.She saw the strange hall with an open zenith, and the warm setting sun projected from the floor-to-ceiling windows on the stacked corpses.A figure in a black coat broke in from the outside, his gaze fell into the shadows on the other side, and he suddenly shouted——

"Odasaku!!!"

The black coat draped over his shoulders slipped aside because of the movement, revealing the thin black suit underneath.The boy almost threw himself at the man lying on the ground, knelt down beside him, and then slightly helped him up.

"You are so stupid, Odasaku. You are so stupid."

"what."

"It's too stupid to die with this kind of guy."

"what."

Miyuki felt like she was standing on a high place, like a floating ghost, or maybe it was just a fantasy in a dream.She watched them talk a lot, but she didn't seem to hear anything clearly.

Time is infinitely stretched here, and it seems that only a few seconds have passed.When the hands were loosened weakly and the bandage was torn off, Seragaki Miyuki suddenly understood——

Who was this stranger with red hair lying dying on the ground.

"The gentleman who chatted first on the third page of the menu", perhaps, there is also the "A Zhi" that the owner of the western restaurant said.

She didn't know the other person's appearance, identity, or age, but she had known him for three full years...

Friends.

She didn't know how tall, short, fat, or thin this man was, but she knew that he liked to drink refreshing pure coffee and eat curry rice from a western restaurant on a certain street.And I have to eat it three times a week, and I know what the curry tastes like;

She didn't know the other's age, but knew that he had raised at least four children.The biggest one is rebellious every day, only the youngest one is a girl;

She also doesn't know the identity of the other party, but she knows that his inner os is extremely rich, but unfortunately in reality he only talks about it.Knowing that he is always preparing for his resignation one day in the future, and wants to become a novelist after many years.

Appearance, age, identity, occupation.

Personality, hobbies, habits, dreams.

She didn't know all his social identities, and it seemed that she had inadvertently learned everything about him.

—Do you want to save him?

I think.

- Do you know what to pay?

I do not know.

--So……

It's all right, please, please.

At that moment, she seemed to be controlled and manipulated by something, and she was willing and eager to think——

Let me...let him...live.

Even if I don't know what he went through, even if I don't know what happened to him.

Even the death at this moment is actually - a choice he made himself.

Anyway, I have always been a willful and selfish person.

……

……

"'People are born to save themselves, and they will understand when they are about to die'... Really... Is that so..."

"I really want to eat curry..."

"..."

Dazai Osamu knelt beside Oda Sakunosuke, raised his head and closed his eyes.

He knew he couldn't save this man.Even if there were supernatural powers like "angels of death" in this world, it is impossible for "angels" to fall from the sky.

and so……

In the next second, Osamu Dazai felt a subtle sense of dislocation.

If it weren't for the supernatural power of "disqualification in the world", this black-haired boy would be as unaware as everyone else, although there is no second living person here.

But at that moment, Osamu Dazai was frozen in the gap of time, but he still saw the light.

Ability - "Heart of Anubis".In Seragaki Miyuki's memory, it was the first and only time that it showed its most powerful or terrifying appearance.

She felt that she had turned into a ball of light, or that her spirit was floating here, and her body was still sleeping on the bed in the bedroom.Crossing the limitation of time and space, the whole world is frozen in a thousandth of a millisecond.

She appeared in the sunset in the hall, looked at the red-haired young man lying on the ground with his eyes closed, carefully avoided the young man who gave her an inexplicable sense of danger, and lowered her head to touch his body.

No visible changes had occurred, but she knew what she had accomplished.So she closed her eyes, and put this dying person whose time had been frozen into the space floating in an unknown place.

Then, Seragaki Miyuki dispelled the ability.

In the next second, the space that had been frozen for a moment restarted, and Osamu Dazai suddenly stood up.The youngest cadre of the Port Mafia stared at a blank ceiling, his expression finally revealed the shock and bewilderment that truly belonged to his age.

He didn't know what kind of mood he was in, and how many thoughts were flooding his brain at the moment.The moment that happened like a hallucination, the outline of the body that couldn't be seen clearly, and the appearance of "He" bent down and touched Odasaku.

And now, they disappeared together.

right in front of his eyes.

Is it... a "miracle"?

No, what a joke.

The young Dazai Osamu looked at the floor where the person was lying just now, closed his eyes for a while, and then turned to the setting sun outside the window.

It was a person who had never heard of it, whose origin was unknown, and whose traces could not be compared... with supernatural powers.