Confessions of a retired star

The first time Cheng Yalan saw Zhu Shisi, she knew that this was the person she was looking for.

That day she happened to be in Lanyao, where a label of the Thunder Times Record Department was located. As a partner of Liuguang Entertainment, the person in charge recommended a 16-year-old child named Mu Di to Cheng Yalan.

"His voice is very good, and he has two years of experience in singing in bars. Under the package, he is good for solo or group."

The person in charge flicked off the cigarette ash, Mu Di shook his shoulders lightly, lowered his head and coughed twice faintly.

Cheng Yalan looked at him, lacking in interest. Most of the newcomers in the industry who promoted each other were related households with backgrounds or were taken care of by financial backers. Mu Di was dressed plainly and looked malnourished, so he was definitely not the former.

I don't know who has taken a fancy to such a young child, Cheng Yalan took it easy and nodded, "I'm going to the bathroom."

The private room is on the second floor, and downstairs is the lively atrium. Cheng Yalan glanced down and fixed her eyes on the face of a boy with his head down.

Out of place, this is Zhu Shisi's first impression of Cheng Yalan.

Not only his quiet state seemed out of place among the noisy and laughing young people, but also his face, facial features, figure, and temperament were all so outstanding that Cheng Yalan, who was used to seeing beautiful boys, gasped. He took a deep breath, froze for a moment, and walked downstairs quickly.

Cheng Yalan didn't go to Zhu Shisi immediately, but invited the teacher who was at the same table to the teahouse in the hotel, explaining her identity and interest in Zhu Shisi.

"Honestly, I didn't pour cold water on you. I'm afraid he doesn't like the entertainment industry." The homeroom teacher put down Cheng Yalan's business card. When he failed the exam, we all advised him to repeat."

"Such good grades?" Cheng Yalan became more interested in Zhu Shisi, "I thought he was more of a fun-loving type, after all, he's a teenage boy, and he's so good-looking."

The homeroom teacher waved his hand: "No, no, no, he never messes around. He is a very good and hard-working kid. And there is one thing I especially admire. He knows how to be considerate. His father passed away when he was in his first year of high school, and his mother is alone. He runs a restaurant to support his family, and every night after class, he goes to the store to help, you say, children nowadays, especially the only child, don’t even know how to help the broom when it falls down, how can anyone be as sensible as him?”

The homeroom teacher told about Zhu Shisi's situation. The more Cheng Yalan listened, the more delighted she became. She found a treasure!

"Student...School Committee, did I bring your classmates last time?"

A girl in a yellow dress was pushed in front of Zhu Shisi by a few of her buddies. Zhu Shisi was drinking Coca-Cola depressedly, looking up with his chin, and recognized her as a classmate from the girl's unsuitable pink eye shadow classmate.

"What classmates?" Zhu Shisi lowered his head again without interest.

"It was the last time...the last time I asked you to write it back to me," the girl was pushed by her best friend, and her bulging chest almost hit Zhu Shisi's face. She turned around and hit her twice, covering her The collar bent down and said softly, "Did you see the sentence I wrote?"

"..." Zhu Shisi stared at the small bubbles bursting in the Coke for a long time, realized that there was someone standing beside him, and turned around blankly, "Huh? Excuse me, what did you just say?"

The buddies laughed, the girl's face with blush turned pinker, and the boy at the same table booed: "She said she loves you!"

The boy hugged his head and dodged a few punches comically, and exaggeratedly shouted: "Student committee, she loves you! Loves you!"

like?Zhu Shisi couldn't hear this word, it bothered her and hurt her heart when she heard it.

The girls chased and beat the boys, and the buddies helped to surround them laughing and laughing, Zhu Shisi took advantage of the chaos and left.

like?He has never said love to Fang Shuyun, so why do these people dare to say love?Tired and crooked!Mushy!nausea!

"The school committee has gone, and the groom has gone!"

The students who were playing vigorously behind him were chattering and irritated, but Zhu Shisi was a little lucky. Fortunately, Fang Shuyun didn't come today, otherwise he would be ashamed to see himself being made such a silly joke.

Zhu Shisi was about to walk to the door, when a woman with exquisite makeup blocked his way, her five fingers painted with black nail polish spread out, firmly clamped Zhu Shisi's arm, and handed him a business card.

"Hi, I'm Cheng Yalan, manager of Lucky Entertainment, and I want to talk to you."

In the evening, Meng Tang was busy until two o'clock in the morning before he was a little free. The night snack shop in summer was very busy. Sometimes Zhu Shisi would come over to help, and he didn't go back until the stall was closed.

Meng Tang knew that Zhu Shisi had something on his mind and wanted to find something to distract him, so he let him come to the store to do things.

Zhu Shisi was a little abnormal tonight, besides being sullen, he also hesitated to speak.

"Wanyuan, do you have something to say to your mother?" Meng Tang sat beside Zhu Shisi.

"I..." Zhu Shisi took out Cheng Yalan's business card from his trouser pocket, and slowly pushed it in front of Meng Tang, "I think this..."

"She said that free training and packaging can be provided, and, cough, and there will be wages during the training... I think it's pretty good." Zhu Shisi rubbed his face while talking, and his face turned red when he finished speaking .

Meng Tang looked at the business card, but said nothing.

"And even if he repeats the reading, he may perform abnormally again. I think..." Zhu Shisi swallowed his throat and said softly, "It's not necessary."

"Do you really want to enter the entertainment industry, or do you want to help your mother share her worries?"

Meng Tang raised his head, his serious gaze made Zhu Shisi want to hide.

"...I want to enter the entertainment circle." In order to make himself look firm, Zhu Shisi put his eyes on Meng Tang's slightly frowning eyebrows, pretending to look into her eyes, "I figured it out, I went to school to make money. Celebrities also want to make money, since I can rely on my face for a living, why don't I... No, not only for money, I think this career is also good, I am very interested."

Puchi, Meng Tang laughed, but bitterness was hidden in the corner of his mouth: "Wish, this is the first time you say such a thing. Before, uncles and aunts said you were good-looking, but you didn't like them, and you still glared at them... In a blink of an eye, you all It's so big."

Zhu Shisi's face was hot, and he didn't know whether it was caused by his hands that had no place to rest, or because of embarrassment after being seen through by Meng Tang.

"Is this what you really want to do?" Meng Tang asked again.

"Yes."

"Then you can do it, mother supports you," Meng Tang's eyes shining with water lightly fell on the business card, "Mom believes in you, no matter what field you are in, you will do well."

In the early morning of that day, Zhu Shisi went home without waiting for Meng Tang to close the stall.

He cried a lot while walking on the road, remembering what Cheng Yalan had said to lobby him during the day, every word hit his heart.

"I heard from your homeroom teacher that your mother supported you by herself. You went to high school and went to college. When you got to college, you didn't have time to work. The burden of four or five years was on your mother. I heard that you In March, I fought with the gangsters who came to the store to make trouble, and you go to school, who will protect your mother?"

"Based on your appearance, I will take you with you when you enter the company, and directly let you enter group A for practice. If you don't make your debut, you will have a lot of exposure opportunities. What does exposure mean? Exposure means money, plus salary, a month's worth Ordinary white-collar workers half a year, your mother retires early."

"You said you only study astronomy. Let me tell you, you young people have to experience it before you know it. Once a hobby becomes a job, you lose this hobby. You come to me to be an artist, and there is no conflict with your study of astronomy."

These words are like a curse lingering in Zhu Shisi's mind. He is indeed short of money and needs a chance to change the status quo of his family. He also lacks courage. This depressed situation will continue, and he doesn't have the courage to face another failure.

On the way, Zhu Shisi understood one thing. He has always thought highly of himself. In fact, he is not that good at all, nor is he strong. He would even cowardly choose to escape. Realizing this fact, Zhu Shisi cried for a while, and finally decided accept it.

After returning home, Zhu Shisi wiped away the dried tears, and found a green leather notebook that he was reluctant to use from the drawer.

He wrote on the inside page behind the cover of the notebook - "Superstar Handbook".

***

If you want to use one word to describe Fang Shuyun's state before the college entrance examination, then the word must be "running away".

Fleeing from Zhu Shisi's home, fleeing from school, and fleeing from the land where he grew up for 18 years.

However, when he fled to the other side of the ocean, turned off his mobile phone, and cut off all contact with Zhu Shisi, he would still see Zhu Shisi's longing silhouette and hear his fiery confession when he closed his eyes.

Fang Shuyun was afraid of Zhu Shisi's eyes, so straightforward and earnest, as if it would be a sin not to reciprocate the same feelings for him.

Fang Shuyun has only seen this hot same-sex love in books, and he still remembers the title of that book, "Tenderness Like Water".

Fang Shuyun is not unaware of this kind of feeling. Sometimes, in some moments, the relationship between them exceeds that of friends, and Fang Shuyun understands this subtle ambiguity as intimacy higher than friendship.

He didn't want to cross the threshold, and he didn't want to add the pure relationship between the two parties to the same-sex love|desire, he didn't know how to deal with it, just like he didn't know how to tell Zhu Shisi that he had planned to go abroad to go to university, so he ran away.

The omnipotent, honest and brave Fang Shuyun escaped.The planned parting ways happened ahead of schedule without warning and turned into parting ways.

After Fang Shuyun left, grandma and grandpa were taken by Xu Xian to the apartment she and Fang Liwen bought near the school, and the red brick house became deserted.Fang Shuyun dreamed of Zhu Shisi more than once, dreaming that he was wearing a denim jacket, riding a bicycle, passing under the streetlights in the alley in front of the courtyard, Fang Shuyun called him in the dream, chased him, Zhu Shisi never looked back, Riding further and further away, quickly disappeared into the misty night.

The scene in the dream vaguely corresponds to the night when Zhu Shisi visited his house for the first time. When Fang Shuyun wakes up, his eyes are usually red and swollen. His most cherished friendship is on the verge of death, and he will remain depressed until In the afternoon, I worried about my brother's imprisonment for a long time, and the day passed like this.

In August, Fang Shuyun decided to make some changes after hesitating for a long time.

He bought a stack of postcards at the Observatory in Gordon Hill City, returned home, and scrapped a dozen of them. The last one was left. He omitted the transition and rhetoric, cut out the explanation and apology, and wrote only one sentence talk.

"Shisi, are you okay?"

In September, Fang Shuyun received a reply letter from Zhu Shisi, which was also a postcard, with the planetarium in Fengyuan City on the cover, and a large section of urgent and restrained text written on the back.

Fang Shuyun read it several times, sniffed his nose many times, used two facial tissues, and finally, like burying a fragile butterfly corpse, carefully pressed the postcard on the bottom of the heavy suitcase.

The friendship is literally dead.

Zhu Shisi is destined to shine in the entertainment industry, Fang Shuyun firmly believes.

In an environment that is not tolerant enough, his homosexual identity will become an obstacle to his stardom.

If you keep in touch with Zhu Shisi, with Zhu Shisi's persistent character and their deep affection that is closer than friendship, there is no guarantee that there will be any news in the future. This is a time bomb for Zhu Shisi.

Fang Shuyun did not reply, and left Gordon Hill with Zhu Shisi's postcard.

In October, Zhu Shisi sent a postcard with almost the same content as the previous one, with only one more question about whether Fang Shuyun had received the letter.

This postcard was finally delivered to Fang Tingchen.