Confessions of a retired star

In the juvenile prison, Fang Tingchen began to understand what Fang Shuyun had said.

"You're imagining well, but the reality can be very bad."

Fang Tingchen thought he would lead a peaceful life, but he was unknowingly affected by the environment and pushed on the most extreme path by the outside world.

This is the price of an unrestrained life. It is indeed very bad. Fang Tingchen does not regret choosing to return to Gordon Hill, but four years of prison life is still too heavy for a child who wants to keep his duty.

The injustice of the judiciary, false accusations of falsehood and self-denial made Fang Tingchen deeply hit. During the first two months in prison, he asked himself every day why and why he couldn’t eat and spent the whole day in prison. Insomnia at night, once fell into depression and mania.

Later, this unwilling resentment became numb in his increasingly debilitating physical state, and he gradually accepted the reality. A place without a mother is the same no matter where it is, and no matter where it is, it is impossible to become his home. On the land not far from Fu, nothing matters anymore.

He therefore lost interest in everything else, and could not feel the passage of time between sunrise and sunset.

Sometimes, he would feel that he was already dead, only his body was repeating meaningless actions day after day.

The trainer Eric observed that Fang Tingchen was special. He hardly spoke and never communicated with other juvenile delinquents. He often sat in the library for a whole day, staring at the book in front of him from morning to night, without turning the pages. one page.

Eric talked to him and told him that as long as he actively cooperates with the reform, there will be many opportunities to reduce his sentence.

Fang Tingchen said that it doesn't matter whether the sentence is reduced or not, anyway, it doesn't make any difference whether he is inside or outside.

Eric asked him about his dream, and told him that life is long and four years is short, and that even in the juvenile detention center, he had to prepare for his dream.

Fang Tingchen thought for a while, and replied, I want to take the Galaxy Cube that was confiscated before I went to prison with me.

Eric asked again, don't you have any other ideas?You're not even 15, I'm 58, and I still plan to retire as an amateur surfer.

Fang Tingchen was expressionless: Then I wish your dreams come true.

The conversation went to a dead end, and the self-defeating life continued.

Fang Tingchen is not like other juvenile delinquents, who are rebellious, rebellious and self-pitying, but Fang Tingchen is like a patient who gave up treatment and waited to die but couldn't die. It's like a long life sentence.

For half a year, Eric had a heart-to-heart talk with Fang Tingchen almost every week. The so-called heart-to-heart talk was nothing more than Eric speaking alone. Fang Tingchen would occasionally answer a few words, sometimes without saying a word, just return it to him in a daze. cutaway galaxy cube.

The hopeless situation changed one day in October when a postcard arrived from outside the juvenile prison.

That afternoon, Eric found Fang Tingchen who was reading a book in the library.

"Fang, this is brought by your neighbor." Eric put the postcard on the table, "She said that when the postman delivered the letter, there was no one in your house, and she delivered it after receiving it."

Fang Tingchen glanced at the cover of the postcard perfunctorily. It was a photo taken from above in a planetarium. It's dealt with."

"No," Eric turned the postcard over and clicked on the Chinese characters on it, "it's written in Chinese, I think it's very important."

Fang Tingchen sighed, and looked at the upside-down text on the cardboard because it was facing Eric——

"Shuyun, did you receive the last postcard? You didn't reply to me. I think it might be because I missed it. It was the first time I sent a transoceanic postcard, just in case I sent it to you again. Received you I am very happy with the letter. I am doing well in China. I joined Liuguang Entertainment. Unexpectedly, I would choose the path of being an artist. My mother asked me to repeat my studies, but I don’t want her to work so hard again, even if I am admitted to the Capital University. I don’t have a major in astronomy, and I can’t reduce her financial burden in the short term. I don’t think my choice is wrong. What do you think? I miss you very much. When can we meet again? Don’t worry, we will meet as friends.”

Fang Tingchen's drooping eyes slowly widened, his lazy gaze gradually gathered, and settled on a corner of the postcard, his pupils were trembling as if they were about to shed tears. Eric followed his strange eyes and saw the 1 on the signature. and 4.

From Fang Tingchen's point of view, 1 and 4 are reversed into a "force" and a vertical.

One force and one vertical.The slightly itchy touch of his fingertips writing on his arm, the clogged nose that can never breathe enough of the orange fragrance, the hair and eyes that are sprinkled with crushed sunlight, and the red and white spots that stir up moist fantasies...

Bubbles of heat rushed out from the depths of Fang Tingchen's dry and cracked chest.

He rushed to Eric's hand, kicked the stool, lifted the postcard and rushed to the window, pointed it at the autumn sun, wiped away his tears, checked, confirmed and observed repeatedly.

"I've been waiting for him! I still have him! I still have him..."

After that day, Fang Tingchen was depressed for a few days.

However, as an experienced trainer, Eric could sense that Fang Tingchen's depression was not the previous self-abnegation but a restless distress.

He didn't ask Fang Tingchen what he was anxious about. He waited for the other party to come to ask for help. Sure enough, after four days, Fang Tingchen walked into Eric's office for the first time after being imprisoned.

"The recipient of this postcard is not me, but my brother."

Eric nodded, signaling Fang Tingchen to continue.

"He should have come to Gordon Hill some time ago and communicated with the other party. When the reply came, he was no longer in Gordon Hill, and the postcard would be sent to me."

"You and the person who sent the letter, let's call him 14, are you friends too?"

"It's a friend," Fang Tingchen replied without hesitation, then lowered his head, with a tinge of red on his face, "He is very important to me...I want to keep in touch with him."

Eric smiled slightly, and put down the pen in his hand: "Maybe you can try to contact your brother and ask him to tell you 14's phone number. Fang, you know, students who perform well have a chance to call once a week."

"It won't work," Fang Tingchen shook his head. "I don't have my brother's contact information. I can only infer that he came to Gordon Hill some time ago, and he must be gone now. Otherwise, why would the postcard say that he didn't reply."

"...I don't want to beg my dad just because I want to find my brother," Fang Tingchen added, just denying Eric Xinxiang's proposal, "and going around in circles is too time-consuming, I just want to hurry up communicate with 14."

"A letter? Oh, it seems that you already have a plan?"

"Yes, but I need your help, Eric, this... this makes me a little hard to say," Fang Tingchen rubbed his arms, looking at the pen on the table in embarrassment, "After all, I used to treat you so badly .”

"Don't worry about it, Fang, it's our duty to help every teenager get out of trouble. I'm very happy to see you untangle yourself."

"Then I..."

"Go ahead, kid." Eric nodded affirmatively.

"Can I please take the letter to the post office outside and mail it to him after I finish writing it?" Fang Tingchen turned his face away slightly, hesitating, "If... if it is sent from the juvenile prison, there will be a The postmark of the juvenile prison...I don't want 14 to know that I'm in jail."

Eric didn't speak, he picked up the pen and turned it around a few times in his hand. Fang Tingchen met his gaze and explained: "Please rest assured, I will never write anything that violates the rules in the letter, I just...just ..."

"I see," Eric looked away from Fang Tingchen's trembling eyelashes, "this kind of request is not acceptable, but if he is important to you, I can help you, but only if you agree Me, find your dream or goal, no matter where you are in the future, you will earnestly realize it, and don't waste your time anymore, can you do it?"

Fang Tingchen didn't immediately answer whether he could or couldn't. After thinking for nearly 10 minutes, he extended his right hand and shook Eric's hand. He only said "thank you" and left the office.

Colleagues laughed and said that Fang Tingchen is a very special young man, and he will not easily promise what cannot be done, while Eric said that he will only come to him to fulfill his promise if he fulfills his promise.

Sure enough, as Eric expected, within half a month, Fang Tingchen won four consecutive first prizes in farm work and subject examinations. Although he still didn't talk much, he had already begun to break away from his previous state of walking dead.

In late October, Fang Tingchen's first letter to 14 was sent by Eric.

The letter read:

"Hello, I didn't receive the last postcard. Fortunately, you sent a replacement."

This sentence is the truth.

"Whether the red mole in your eye (the word "spot" written in front of "mole" is crossed out) are two on the left and one on the right, I am suddenly curious about this."

This sentence is a proof.

"I miss you very much. Can the sender write your Chinese name? Just looking at the code as a number can't ease my missing."

This sentence is inquiry.

In the three sentences, none of them were about "I". Even Fang Tingchen didn't realize that he was pretending to be Fang Shuyun.

In the mood of excitement, joy and irritability, Fang Tingchen received a reply from the other side of the ocean on the second Monday of November. It was still a thin postcard with a short sentence written on it.

"Second from the left, first from the right, have you even forgotten what I look like?"

Only fourteen words made Fang Tingchen ecstatic.

Signed: Zhu Shisi.

Shisi, Fourteen, 14, and the number of words in the reply coincided exactly.

Fang Tingchen rubbed the handwriting on the postcard, and traced the strokes on the paper with his eyes over and over again, carving deep lines on his fingertips and in his pupils.

Zhu Shisi, I finally waited for you.