[Comprehensive] Protagonist Survival Plan

"Jarvis, which one do you think looks the best?"

"School celebration."

Xue Shurong flipped through the CG images one by one. There were photos of her meeting others for the first time, photos of her part-time job, and the high leap during the school celebration——

"I don't like this one," she murmured, stroking it.

Because at that time, Xue Shurong was uttering the spell of Bharara energy aloud.

In retrospect, embarrassment is about to be committed.

Since the first clicking sound, she turned off the sound effects of the cg picture and adjusted it to silent mode.If Xue Shurong hadn't compulsively clicked through all the pages every time, Xue Shurong would have almost forgotten the existence of this function.

"Speaking of which, Jarvis, when will I get to Intermediate Magic?"

Her arithmetic, chess, martial arts, dance, and music have all successfully reached the elementary level, but magic has not been seen.

"Miss, meditation still needs to continue, please work hard."

Xue Shurong sighed.

"Okay okay, I see."

It seems that Balala's curse will haunt her for a while, Xue Shurong can only pray that he will never have to transform.

forever.

At this time, a familiar out-of-tune voice suddenly sounded on the mobile phone, as if trying to keep pace with the rhythm, but it was always out of tune.

"Misha, it's me! It's me! Penny! Misha! It's me! It's me!..."

Xue Shurong's expression became embarrassing, and he quickly picked up the phone: "Penny, why did my ringtone become like this?"

From the other end came Penny's smug laugh.

"Hurry up and save your ringtone, remember, this will be the song recorded by Penny, the greatest Oscar-winning actress and lifetime achievement award in the 21st century!" She hiccupped from the noise Judging by the noisy background sound and her drunken tone, she should be in a bar or something.

"..."

"Come on, let's drink to our heart's content! Cheers!"

Xue Shurong continued to ask: "Did you call for something?"

It’s okay if you don’t ask this question, but if you ask it, it’s like puncturing the water bag. Penny choked up and complained in a crying voice: "I failed the exam again! Misha!... I want to apply to the School of Drama and Performance, but they The score is too high... so bad, I can almost see a waitress named Penny die of old age in a dirty and smelly diner..."

"Penny, listen to me, there is only one year left, and you will definitely be able to pass the exam!"

"I'm far behind..." Penny cried more and more, and she could hear her gurgling after drinking, "Hi! Misha... Misha, can you imagine working for a month and even paying for a luxury brand bag?" Can't afford the pain?"

The more she talked, the more absurd she even mentioned that the price of beeswax for hair removal in the market has been increasing recently.

Hiccupping and chattering nonsense, what Xue Shurong usually hates most is such a drunkard who has no taste for alcohol.But at this moment, she felt the fragile emotions that Petunia had never experienced before, and she could empathize with the babble of painful complaints, the uncertainty of the future, and the sadness of her inability to change——

"Penny, don't drink any more, go home quickly." Xue Shurong tried to persuade her.

"Go home? No, I don't want to!"

"Be obedient, and your parents will worry."

"You... hiccup! You come over for a drink..."

She raised her forehead and asked helplessly, "Where are you, I'll find you."

Penny gave her name vaguely, it was a bar not far from the school.

"Wait a minute, I'll be there right away."

Xue Shurong changed into a cotton-white loose T-shirt and gray-blue skinny cropped jeans, and took the keys: "Jarvis, you have a landline at home, right?"

"Yes miss."

"You remember, if I don't call my landline after half an hour, you call my cell phone."

"Ok."

When going out at night, she has always been very careful and dressed very conservatively, because it would be very troublesome to be entangled by drunk bastards.

Xue Shurong arrived at the bar by taxi.

She pushed through the crowd, and finally found Penny, who was drunk, on a sofa full of people sitting opposite each other.

Petunia looked so drunk that she didn't even notice that the boy next to her took advantage of it.

"Hey!"

Xue Shurong angrily stepped forward and squeezed his body away, and pulled Penny's wine bottle down: "Come back with me."

"Misha..."

Petunia belched suddenly, and the stench of alcohol rushed into her nose.

"Do you want to take her away? I don't agree!" The boy who was squeezed out said in a bad tone.

Xue Shurong turned her head and saw a group of men and women staring at her, and then she became nervous belatedly.

She looked at the source of the sound in embarrassment. It was a boy as thin as a bamboo pole, with dense pimples all over his face.

...a very healing face.

It forced her to have an obsessive-compulsive disorder attack.

"It seems that the volcano on the moon is about to erupt." Xue Shurong has not committed an old habit for a long time, but now he can't hold back his mouth, trying to ease the atmosphere with a cold joke, "You really have the foresight, now your girlfriend can only kiss lips There is nowhere else to be found.”

"..."

The students around were stunned for a moment, holding the wine bottles and laughing loudly.

"Uh... I mean, if you have a girlfriend."

The boy was so angry that his messy red hair trembled back and forth: "Are you laughing at me!"

Having said all that, Xue Shurong doesn't regret this slip of the tongue.She spread her hands and said, "Actually, this is just a cold joke."

"..."

Seeing that the atmosphere became full of sparks, a life-saving call came.

It's Jarvis.

Xue Shurong deliberately turned on the speakerphone so that the voice could be heard more clearly: "Jarvis, are you here yet?"

As a conscientious and excellent butler, Jarvis replied in a gentle voice: "Yes, come out quickly, they are a little impatient."

"Okay, just wait a while and help me send Penny home."

"need my help?"

"No, no, we'll be right out."

Xue Shurong hung up the phone and said politely: "I'm sorry for the slip of the tongue just now, my boyfriend and friends are waiting outside, so I won't stay here. Don't worry, I will bring Penny home intact. "

It sounded like there were a lot of people, he shrank his shoulders timidly, snorted and stopped talking.

"Shall I help you?"

"I can handle it." Xue Shurong glanced at the boy who spoke, who seemed to be Danny, the main player of the school football team, and couldn't help smiling, "Thank you."

Penny's bastard ex was a big carrot, he made many girls' bellies bigger, and hooked up with an international student just over a week after they broke up.

Xue Shurong accompanied her to watch the game once, and had a little impression of them.

Of course, that's all.

"...Hi! Wine..."

Coming out of the bar, with the cool wind blowing by, Petunia flinched, and slightly opened her sleepy eyes: "Where are you going?"

"what is your address?"

"I'm not going back!"

Xue Shurong asked several times, but got the same answer.She held Penny's waist, and the other's pressure made her almost out of breath. If she hadn't been exercising regularly during this period, she wouldn't be able to support it at all.

...It seems that they can only be brought home first.

Xue Shurong thought in distress.

"Excuse me, are you Miss Misha?"

A taxi stopped by the side of the road slid down the window, showing a kind face, facing Xue Shurong's puzzled expression with a smile and said: "Mr. Jarvis called a taxi for you, please come up."

If Jarvis falls in love, he must be a considerate and gentle partner. Unfortunately, he is just an artificial intelligence that exists in life.

The taxi driver helped Xue Shurong push Penny, who was too drunk and unwilling to get into the car, into the car. The car drove smoothly all the way, and at the corner less than a mile away from her residence, Penny suddenly retched.Xue Shurong was afraid that she would vomit into the car, and the rest of the road was not too far away, so she just sobered up, so she helped Petunia out of the car.

"Today I... vomit!"

Petunia leaned on the tree trunk with one hand, and spit out the words before she could finish her sentence.A terrible sour smell drifted with the wind, like canned salmon that had been fermented for a long time, it couldn't be more sour.Xue Shurong carried her back for her, and couldn't help but tremble when he smelled it, and hurriedly pinched his nose with his free hand.

Assi!This is definitely eating Xiang!right!Otherwise, why would it smell so bad!

How do those drunk and sexual people endure? !

Both of them were in a hurry, not noticing that a swift figure was approaching quietly.

"vomit……"

"are you feeling better?"

"No...vomit!"

The tall and burly man gradually emerged from the shadows behind him. He was wearing a black peaked cap, and his face was tightly covered by a mask.Before Xue Shurong turned his head back, he quietly took out a small crossbow and raised it flat, aiming at Xue Shurong's neck.

What is ready to be fired is not an arrow, but a tiny needle filled with an unknown solution.

"Penny, hold me, there is a store nearby, let's go buy a bottle of water."

Petunia, who was a little more awake, responded sleepily.

"Come!"

Before Xue Shurong was ready, he suddenly heard a "boom!", as if something heavy had fallen to the ground.She turned around in surprise and saw two strangely dressed people.

One was lying on the ground in pain, the peaked cap flew aside, and the mask still tightly covered his cheeks.Wearing tight black clothes and holding a small crossbow, he didn't look like a good guy.

And the other, like Spiderman, doesn't even show his hair, is wrapped tightly, and is carrying a strange small bag behind him.

...not like a good person.

"I saved you, of course, if you want to ask my name, I can tell you, yes, I am the greatest superhero in the world, I have saved human beings many times, but those hypocritical fake heroes don't want to admit it. Ha, a puppy that thinks that a few thorns on its paws can make it look like a wolf..."

"Wait," Xue Shurong was confused by his inexplicable words, "Who are you?"

The weird guy on the opposite side was silent for two seconds, then shrugged and said, "I don't even know my name is Deadpool, girl, it seems that you are in big trouble."

"careful!"

She exclaimed, and the guy named Deadpool easily dodged and knocked the attacker to the ground with a punch.

"You said that if I blow up the Pentagon, will people all over the world know my name tomorrow? I only remember the bad guys, but I can't remember the heroes who saved their humble lives. This society is really terrible! It must be educated The problem, of course, I should also be responsible for this matter."

What the hell is he talking about! ! !

This feeling of powerlessness in talking between chickens and ducks filled her heart, but the other party's mouth was chattering like a machine gun, almost bringing her to the brink of collapse.

The man behind was hit hard, stood up staggeringly, took out his gun and aimed at Deadpool.

"boom!"

As the bullet approached, Deadpool pressed his belt leisurely, instantly moving him to... Petunia's vomit.

"shit!"

He immediately jumped into a rage, quickly jumped to the side, and kept rubbing the dirty things on his feet.

Xue Shurong: "..."

The assailant with a puzzled face: "..."

Petunia: "...Ugh! My stomach hurts!"

"It turns out that's the downside of gravity," he said, twitching his toes back and forth regularly like a cigarette butt.

Xue Shurong has no doubts that she should have encountered a psychopath with superpowers.

"Hey, you're in charge, do my laundry tonight!"

Bang bang bang bullets hit Deadpool's body, he was fine and walked straight to the opponent's position.Seeing that something was wrong, the man turned around and ran away, and the dead waiter behind him quickly followed.

Where did these weirdos come from!

Xue Shurong didn't know that he was avoiding a disaster, so he hurriedly helped Petunia back home while the two of them were away.

……

Deadpool, who beat the opponent half to death, returned to the original location, disappointed to find that the two potential fans had already escaped.

—Think he can't find it?

Deadpool pressed the button of his belt confidently, and in an instant, he shifted to... half-dried vomit.

Deadpool, who has always been poisonous, said that his mood at the moment is a bit complicated.

He raised his head and looked towards the sky in a certain direction, as if talking to someone: "This is how you treat the greatest superheroes?"