Death Progress Bar

He loves you.

Until returning to the hotel room after dinner, Shi Jin's mind still echoed the words Rong Zhouzhong said.

Fei Yujing, love, such a person, and such a word, there will be a day when he and it will be connected together.That's right, Fei Yujing is also a human being, as long as he is a human being, he will have all kinds of emotions and six desires, and he will fall in love with someone or hate someone unconsciously.

But why can't his brain imagine what Fei Yujingai looks like alone? Every time he thinks of this name, the first thing that pops up in his mind is always the other person's indifferent and calm expression and eyes.

"Fei Yujing's love..." He murmured, and the image of Fei Yujing leaning against the captain's exterior on the boat unexpectedly flashed across his mind.

That was probably the time when he felt most clearly and intuitively that Fei Yujing really cared about him... But even at the moment of the rest of his life, Fei Yujing still didn't have any superfluous expressions on his face.Even before that, when Li Jiuzheng fell into madness because the ship was surrounded, Fei Yujing could rationally tie up Li Jiuzheng so that Li Jiuzheng would not disturb others.

How rational is it to achieve that level? Has Fei Yujing ever shown his emotions or collapsed?

Shi Jin tried his best to recall the scene of meeting Fei Yujing in the past, and finally found that the time Fei Yujing had the most emotional fluctuations in front of him was actually at the meeting the year before last. When the two met again, he threatened Fei Yujing to use him again, When he hurt Fei Yujing's mother.

[My mother is the first person in this world who can make me give so much, and you are the second. 】

What Fei Yujing said in the morning flashed through his mind, his fingers trembled, and he felt a shameful joy in his heart—is he now so important in Fei Yujing's heart?Has he become an existence that can affect Fei Yujing's emotions?

【What you want from me is not an emotional response, but an emotional need. 】

He was shocked in his heart, raised his hand and pressed his forehead: "Why do you think of this sentence..."

But... it really is a need, and it was hit by Fei Yujing's words. Didn't the joy in his heart just now come from the sudden discovery that Fei Yujing might need him emotionally and value him? ?

Why did Fei Yujing hit the mark again? How thoroughly did he see feelings and people's hearts.

Shi Jin suddenly felt pain again, because he was so cranky and full of human weaknesses.Then he felt that he was ridiculous, what was there to be happy about, what was there to be painful about, how old he was, and because of these little emotions, he would be happy and sad, he was so stupid.

It would be great if he was a chic person who could handle his emotions at will like Fei Yujing——

Hey.

The phone vibrated, and he lost his thoughts. He picked up the phone and saw that it was a text message from Fei Yujing, he was stunned for a moment, and pointed.

Fei Yujing: The nurse has left, can you come to the hospital to accompany me?

Shi Jin's eyes widened, suspecting that he was hallucinating.

Can you come to the hospital with me?Can?accompany?

Oh my god, Fei Yujing would speak in such a tone, Fei Yujing would use the relatively weak word "accompany", Fei Yujing would... take the initiative to make a request to him.

Isn't that person always doing a lot of things on his own, and then throwing his brains at you, not allowing you to refuse, and then leaving gracefully?Such a person actually wants to be accompanied.Shouldn't such a person have a commanding tone that cannot be refused when he says this kind of request?Just like when calling Rong Zhouzhong.

Hey.

Another text message came in, still from Fei Yujing: The wound hurts a bit.

Shi Jin let out an "ah" meaninglessly, looked at the text message, and wanted to imagine Fei Yujing's pained expression, but in the end he found nothing, remained silent for a while, then suddenly got up and walked quickly towards the outside of the hotel room.

"To go vigil for someone who just had a fight this morning... I'm probably crazy!" He spurned himself, but his pace became faster and faster.

……

Shi Jin came to the hospital almost at a trot, and then intentionally stopped in the corridor outside the ward, and after repeatedly inhaling and exhaling several times, he pushed open the door of the ward with a calm face.

Fei Yujing was reclining on the hospital bed with his eyes closed, when he heard the sound of the door opening, he opened his eyes and looked over, and asked, "Did you run over?"

Shi Jin's footsteps froze, his expression almost tensed, and he retorted: "I came here for a walk, and you don't really want me to collect the body. Why do I run, you are not that important."

"But from your hotel to here, if you don't run, you need to walk for about 15 minutes." Fei Yujing picked up the phone and checked the time, and said, "I sent you a text message 9 minutes ago."

"...Do you want to fight?" Shi Jin asked blankly.

Fei Yujing glanced at his hair that was blown a little messy by the wind, he saw it through, and raised his hand to pat the edge of the bed: "No, I can't beat you now, come here, sit down."

Shi Jin: "..." Suddenly he understood why Rong Zhouzhong always wanted to hit Fei Yujing, and now he really wanted to hit him too, hard.

When Shi Jin stepped forward to take a seat, Fei Yujing poured him a glass of water, started the conversation, and asked, "Have you had any good dinner?"

"Yes, the third brother will always know where there is a good restaurant." Shi Jin replied stiffly, with a little anger, and after he realized that he was angry, his expression became more tense - really like a fool, Fei Yujing was indifferent over there, he was thinking wildly here, being led by the nose by the other party, so stupid!

Be ruthless!He ordered himself in his heart.

"Still angry?" Fei Yujing asked.

"No!" Shi Jin replied in a second, feeling that this could not go on any longer, and he had to take back the initiative of the topic, so he immediately asked, "Don't you have a wound? Where does it hurt? Did you call the doctor to come and see?"

Fei Yujing replied: "Look, the doctor said that the pain is normal, and it takes a process for the wound to heal."

Shi Jin glanced at his expression and his chest covered by the hospital gown, and said, "Your expression doesn't seem to be in pain at all."

"Then what kind of expression is called pain." Fei Yujing was very soft, "Actually, I'm already very patient now."

endure?

Shi Jin was taken aback for a moment, then frowned, scanned him carefully, and finally found some traces related to patience on his body - Fei Yujing's forehead seemed to be a little sweaty.His heart moved, and he leaned over to look behind him, and sure enough, he saw a trace of sweat on the hospital gown, and couldn't help but stand up.

Fei Yujing looked up at him, and asked, "What's the matter? I feel too bored with me, are you going back?"

"If you say something soft, will you lose a piece of meat or something? You are in a cold sweat from the pain, and you still look like nothing happened. Have you forgotten how to mobilize the facial muscles?" Shi Jin frowned and scolded him, bending down to hold him He checked the condition of his back with his shoulder, then turned around and went to the bathroom to fetch a basin of warm water, motioning him to turn his back.

Fei Yujing glanced at him and obeyed obediently.

The clothes on his back were half wet, and he must have endured the pain for a long time.

Shi Jin pursed his lips, put his head down, took out a towel and wrung it dry, carefully opened his hospital gown, saw a huge bruise on his waist, and several scratch marks on his back, his fingers couldn't hold back. Tighten up.

"Scared?" Fei Yujing asked with his head turned sideways, his tone still damn calm.

Shi Jin had the urge to hold down his wound, making him cry out in pain, pushed his head back with a black face, carefully covered his back with a towel, wiped it gently for him, and replied: "No .”

Fei Yujing was honest for a while, and then asked: "Is that distressing?"

"When I feel sorry for you, I might as well feel sorry for a pig." Shi Jin retorted.

Fei Yujing laughed at his angry words, and said, "So you like pigs."

You can still laugh, doesn't it hurt?

Shi Jin held his breath in his heart and couldn't help muttering: "If you feel uncomfortable, tell the doctor. If you really can't do it, you can prescribe some medicine. Don't carry it all the time. And when I came in the morning, you were still dealing with work. If you are injured, you should take a good rest, the more you rest, the faster you will recover, so can't you slow down your work?"

Fei Yujing explained: "It was because of the pain that I wanted to use work to divert my attention."

What the hell is this diversion.Shi Jin was really going to be pissed off by him, and said, "Then why are you just sitting here?"

"Because the pain in the lungs will intensify every night. At this time, not only can you not divert your attention from work, but you will also make mistakes in your work due to inability to concentrate, so you can only stay like this." Fei Yujing replied, turning his head and said , "Thank you for coming with me, I feel better."

"Should I say that you're being rude at this time, or should I praise you for being so truthful?" Shi Jin threw the towel back into the basin and rubbed it with his head buried in his head, glanced at him, resigned himself to giving up the idea of ​​being angry with this person, and moved lightly Carefully wiped off all the sweat on his body, paused for a while, and said in a low voice, "Actually... I'm very happy that you can take the initiative to call me over."

Fei Yujing turned slightly to look at him.

Shi Jin threw the towel back into the basin again, got up and went to the closet to fetch another clean hospital gown, handed it to him and said, "Put it on."

Fei Yujing obeyed obediently again and said, "Thank you."

Shi Jin lost his temper, compromised with himself and with him, sat down by the hospital bed, put on a posture of serious conversation, and said, "Second brother, I don't want to quarrel with you for no reason anymore, you don't understand at all , My anger is a waste. I thought about it for a while, and I think we are like this because there are some differences in the way of thinking between us. In order to avoid meaningless quarrels between us, let’s get to know each other first, okay? ?”

It was the first time Fei Yujing saw his gentle, mature and tolerant appearance, looked him up and down carefully, and replied: "Yes."

"Second brother, how do you manage to deal with your emotions rationally forever? I try to understand what's in my heart like you do, but I find it's too much to analyze my little emotions with a rational attitude. It’s a shame, some emotions are too difficult to express honestly.”

Fei Yujing shook his head: "I don't understand what you mean."

One reassuring thing about talking with Fei Yujing is that you never have to worry about the other party hiding something or lying.Fei Yujing was always honest when dealing with people close to him.If he says he doesn't understand, he just doesn't understand.

Shi Jin tried to change his thinking, and asked: "So far, have you ever experienced any emotional or emotional situations that are difficult to understand or ashamed to tell others what is in your heart? Or have you ever wanted to When escaping from what is in your heart?"

Fei Yujing thought about it seriously this time, nodded and said: "Yes."

There is?

"What is it?" Shi Jin asked with bright eyes.It is impossible for a person who is always rational and clear-headed to escape from himself. From this point of view, Fei Yujing seems to be saved.

Fei Yujing glanced at him and asked, "Why do you want to know this?"

out of curiosity.

Shi Jin replied cheekily: "Because I want to get to know you."

"I want to get to know you too." Fei Yujing answered, changed the subject without a trace, and asked, "Xiao Jin, what do you think of me?"

Shi Jin paused when he heard the words, knowing in his heart that he was robbing the control of the words, but he didn't say anything, and replied following his words: "I think you are a cold-blooded bastard."

Fei Yujing was surprised: "Cold-blooded?"

"It's not cold-blooded, it should be said that you feel like a robot. You can always control your emotions and feelings well, do whatever you want, and don't care much about what others think. Sometimes I admire you , Occasionally I envy you, more often, I feel uneasy and fearful because of your willingness to do what you want and not caring."

Fei Yujing was stunned for a moment: "Uneasy and fear?"

"Yes, uneasiness and fear, and unwillingness." Shi Jin replied, for the first time rationally and without reservation, telling him the most true thoughts in his heart, "The relationship between me and you is always you Come whenever you want, leave whenever you want. You said that you really treat me as a younger brother now, but I dare not indulge myself to accept the care you give me. In terms of emotions, I am used to back and forth. Well, I will treat each other well, but only you, I dare not respond to the feelings you gave me, so I subconsciously automatically ignore what you gave, because if I ignore it, I don’t need to respond.”

Fei Yujing listened quietly, trying to understand his thoughts.

Shi Jin looked at his serious expression, and remembered what Rong Zhouzhong said at dinner, that Fei Yujing was trying to cross the boundaries he had drawn and came to understand his thoughts, his heart softened, and suddenly he didn't feel like taking these things into consideration. There was no embarrassment or discomfort in expressing the tangled thoughts in my heart, and I continued: "Second brother, when you used me as a tool, you approached me so easily, and when I lost value, you abandoned me quickly , Later when we met again, you suddenly accepted my younger brother because of various things. I was passive in all of this. You don’t need my permission to approach you; you don’t need my permission to leave. Confess to me; your apology does not require my forgiveness; your compensation does not require my response, I am like a puppet that you can play with, you treat me according to your mood, and how I think, I You never care about your emotions. My will cannot determine your attitude and actions towards me. "

Fei Yujing frowned slowly, and asked, "Am I like this?"

"In my understanding, you are like this. You are right, what I want is your emotional needs, and I hope you need me."

Fei Yujing shook his head slowly: "Xiao Jin, I still don't understand, do you mean that my concern for you has become your burden? This is not my original intention, I don't ask your forgiveness, it is I don't want to kidnap you emotionally, you are too tired, what I did to you was too cruel, asking you to forgive me is too unfair to you."

Shi Jin was stunned for a moment, and asked, "It's because of this that you said you don't want to ask for my forgiveness?"

Fei Yu looked at the sights.

It is so.

Shi Jin couldn't react.It was because he was afraid that he would be in trouble, so he only apologized and did not ask for forgiveness.It's not because of "I don't want to think about your thoughts" "Your thoughts are not important to me, I only do what I want"... He raised his hand to cover his face, and he actually gained a little The feeling of being redeemed.

"Xiao Jin?" Fei Yujing called him suspiciously.

Shi Jin let out a shallow breath, looked at him and said, "Are you an idiot?"

Fei Yujing frowned, apparently not agreeing with his statement.

"Forget it, I'm the one who told you this. I'm an idiot." Shi Jin suddenly didn't want to continue analyzing with him, looked him in the eyes and said directly, "Second brother, I'm uneasy because I don't know what you mean to me. How deep is the relationship? I am afraid because I am afraid that you will withdraw and retreat as before. I am unwilling because I am shaken by all kinds of wild thoughts of your behavior here, but you It seems that I will always be calm, sober and indifferent. I am afraid that after all kinds of self-persuasion and self-disclosure, let go of the past, and finally open my heart to you again, what I get is the same ending as before."

He stopped at this point, reached out and pressed Fei Yujing's shoulder, looked into his eyes and said word by word: "Second brother, you are too rational, I am afraid that I will become a discarded product under your rational balance again." .I hope you will also be cranky because of me. I hope you will feel joy and pain because of my likes and dislikes. I think you care about me and are afraid of losing me. I hope that if one day I disappear in your life Here, you will feel painful and sad. Only when you show that you care about me, can I dare to approach you again. The lesson from last time is too profound, and I am afraid."

Fei Yujing stared at him blankly, experiencing for the first time the feeling of not knowing how to respond to someone else's words.

"Second brother, I don't need you to empathize with the pain I have suffered, and I don't need you to feel guilty and blame yourself for it. I have tasted those things, and my elder brother has also tasted them, and they even got sick because of it. Can you survive It’s hard, it’s really great.” Shi Jin withdrew his hand, and his tone eased, “This is all I think, this is all I expect from you, second brother, if you really accept me as a younger brother, then this You cooperate with me this time, okay?"

Yes, that's it, there is no need to think wildly, what you want, just ask for it, if you don't even want it, then when you give up, you can be more reconciled in your heart.Because he has worked hard, no matter what the ending is, he can accept it calmly.

Fei Yujing seemed to understand what he said, but at the same time he seemed not to understand. There was an unknown emotion rolling in his heart, driving him to hug this younger brother who had infinite courage and took the initiative to reveal his inner weakness, but the habitual Reason and sobriety made him unable to act.

There is no need to feel guilty and remorse, but you need to be very caring and caring.

It was as if a stone was blocked in his heart. Something wanted to break through the cage, but was suppressed by instinct.

No, it can't be retracted anymore, Shi Jin has already taken the first step, he can't let Shi Jin down anymore, he obviously provoked all this first.

"I'm... a little anxious." He heard his own voice, with hesitation that he had never had before, "You asked me if I was ever ashamed to tell others what was on my mind, my answer is yes, I'm a little Urgent, but I dare not tell you."

Shi Jin was puzzled: "What?"

"Seeing that you and the youngest and the fifth have eased their relationship one by one, I... am a little anxious." After the first sentence was uttered, it seemed that it was no longer so difficult to say the following words, "So after this car accident , I immediately realized that the opportunity had come.”

Wait, chance?Shi Jin frowned slightly.

Fei Yujing slowly regained his thoughts, and his tone calmed down a little bit: "When you were on the island, I found that you treated the fifth child very affectionately and took good care of him... not only him, but also the third child, Whether it's the fourth child, or even the eldest brother, you are always close, dependent, or caring to them, only me, and you have always been very polite to me."

Shi Jin gradually realized what he wanted to express, his heart tightened unconsciously, and he asked, "I'm very polite to you?"

"Yes, very polite." Fei Yujing replied, as if thinking of something, he added, "Not only polite, but you are also very guarded against me. So I started to try to touch you more, just like the third child did to you , but your reaction to my contact is very ordinary."

Shi Jin remembered Fei Yujing's behavior of touching his head from time to time during this period, his eyes widened slightly - was this intentional?

Fei Yujing reached out and tapped his forehead lightly, and said, "It's like this... I found that your attitude towards me is like facing a friend whose relationship can only be regarded as an acquaintance. So I'm in a hurry. There's not much I can do to help Mr. Lian. After these things are over, the chances for me to meet you will only be less than now. What if everything is settled like this? I don't want to Among all the brothers, I am the only one who is so polite to you. Xiao Jin, I want to be your brother, not your polite friend. "

Jin was speechless this time.

"I want to know why you are the only one who is so polite to me, so after the car accident, I deliberately let the people below spread the news more seriously, trying to lure you over. Sure enough, you came, and you really felt guilty, so I took the opportunity to talk to you You started the topic and wanted to understand what was on your mind, but I messed it up. I even called the third child over on purpose, thinking that with him around, the atmosphere should be more lively and relaxed. If I get angry with you, he can still speak for you I'll coax you." Fei Yujing told all his calculations, and asked, "Xiao Jin, I'm a terrible brother, right?"

"...No." Shi Jin shook his head, seeing the sober self-mockery and vague self-loathing in his eyes, he had mixed feelings for a moment, and said, "You are not scary...you are just...just too stupid, second brother , why are you so unintelligent?"

The two brothers have been around for so long, what are they doing.