why are they still in love

[04/06]

Xiao Chining slept for ten hours, and the day after he woke up was cloudy again, and it seemed that it was going to continue to rain.Xiao Zhaoshan didn't seem to have any plans to travel, and was sitting quietly at the desk in the room drawing essays.

Xiao Chining turned over and hugged the quilt to look at him, and found that the other ring finger of his left hand had already been put on.

"What are you drawing?" he asked.

Xiao Zhao didn't raise his head: "You."

"Draw me?" Xiao Chining grinned, "Draw me what?"

Xiao Zhaoshan got up and walked to the bed, and pressed the note on his forehead: "The little thing is too sleepy, get up quickly."

Xiao Chining excitedly turned over the note paper with the hotel logo on it, only to find that it was a sleeping soundly... pig.

Xiao Zhaoshan came out of the bathroom after washing his hands, and Xiao Chining had already sat in the position where he had just been shirtless, holding a pencil and not knowing what he was doing.

He walked over and leaned over to have a look, Xiao Chining drew a bigger pig next to the pig, with S written on the left of the two pig's nostrils and B written on the right.

Xiao Zhaoshan shook his head, not wanting to continue playing this childish game.He still took something out of his sweatpants pocket and put it on the table, and asked in a nonchalant tone: "Do you want more?"

Xiao Chining glanced distractedly, and couldn't help being stunned, but it was the watch he threw in front of Xiao Zhaoshan before he left.

"Of course!" He immediately put on his sullen watch, and then took the eraser that came with the other end of the pencil to erase the S in the left pig's nostril and changed it to "B".

"BB? Pager?" Xiao Zhaoshan didn't understand.

Xiao Chining drew an arrow pointing to the blank space, and commented while explaining: "It's a baby."

[05/29]

Today is the day when Xiao Chining removes the plaster.

The doctor looked at the new X-ray on the light box, and congratulated him: "It's recovered very well, and I can consider getting the steel plate in the second half of next year."

"Are you recovering well?"

Xiao Chining had hung his right hand for three months, but he was still not quite used to putting it down at first.He squeezed his fist cautiously, more confused.

"Why can't I use my strength?"

"It's normal. After all, you haven't moved your hand for three months." The doctor explained to Xiao Zhaoshan who was standing behind him, "Take the child to do some exercise when you have time. Soak him in hot water and give him a massage."

Xiao Zhaoshan carefully wrote it down in his mind: "Is there anything else that should be paid attention to?"

"The load-bearing limit and strength of this hand is definitely not as good as other boys of the same age, but it should not affect normal life. Parents should pay more attention these days to prevent him from being injured again. If there is anything wrong, hurry up Come to the hospital for follow-up."

The doctor looked back at Xiao Chining and asked, "Besides not being able to exert force, do you have any other feelings now? For example, numbness, soreness and so on."

Xiao Chining lowered his head and turned his right hand, felt it for a while, and replied sincerely: "The forearm is much whiter than the upper arm..."

[07/11]

Not long after Xiao Zhaoshan came back from Shunde, he bought a second-hand villa that was likely to be new from a friend.It took a month to renovate, hang in the air for a month, and purchase and decorate for another month. Finally, I was able to move in on my 42nd birthday.

Xiao Chining was very perfunctory, and when he was shopping for vegetables, he went to the stationery store and bought a can of turpentine as a birthday present for him.

"I'm too busy in class and don't have time to pack, so let's make a contribution to environmental protection."

Xiao Zhaoshan didn't think there was anything wrong, so he accepted it happily, and joked: "It can be seen that you and turpentine have a good relationship."

Xiao Chining was chopping vegetables when he suddenly remembered something.He turned around and asked, "Dad, I never understood what you mean by having a pool in the gallery. You are an oil painter, shouldn't you use turpentine to dilute it?"

Xiao Zhaoshan leaned on the door frame with crossed hands, raised his eyebrows and asked, "Are you sure you want to listen?"

Xiao Chining reacted for a while, then sneered and said, "Understood, is it related to that woman again? It's okay, just tell me."

"For a few years I couldn't paint, and I could only entertain myself at home when my hands were itchy." Xiao Zhaoshan said, "But that woman couldn't smell the smell of oil paint, so I tried to change to water-soluble paint. got used to."

With a loud bang, Xiao Chining raised the knife and dropped it—slapped a head of garlic.

"So, why do you want to change yourself for this kind of person? You shouldn't be such a person." He faced the cutting board and stretched his left hand back, "Give me back the turpentine, you won't need it anyway."

"Okay, okay, I'll pay you back, cheapskate." Xiao Zhaoshan approached him with a smile, and passed his hand over.

Xiao Chining glanced at it, threw his hand away mercilessly, and picked up the kitchen knife again: "Now you know that I am more suitable for you? No vision."

Xiao Zhaoshan hugged him from behind, rested his chin on his shoulder, and said sincerely: "Well, I don't have eyes, it's thanks to you for looking at me, thank you baby."

[08/05]

Xiao Chining specially took a day off with the old professor to hear Yue Zezhang's final verdict.

Chi Yan and Dong Xin who were related to the case were also present, and they happened to be arranged to sit with him.

Dong Xin hadn't seen her godson since the housewarming party last month, so she seized the 10 minutes before the court session, warmly greeted her, and discussed with Xiao Chining about her preparations for the art exam until she went to college in the future Is it boarding or commuting.

Chi Yan straightened his back, stared ahead, said nothing, and looked arrogant, but his face was full of uneasiness.

Xiao Chining rubbed the ring on his ring finger habitually, and glanced over at Dong Xin, his heart was no longer disturbed.

In fact, Xiao Zhaoshan was against him at first, firstly because he was afraid that he would think of something bad, and secondly because he was afraid that he would bump into Chi Yan and be embarrassed by others.But Xiao Chining had already turned into a golden bell cover, and he was not afraid of the sky and the earth, and he wanted to come and witness Yue Zezhang's death sentence with his own eyes.

When the final word was finalized, he saw with certainty that Xiao Zhaoshan's back, which had been stretched for more than an hour, relaxed after sitting on the witness stand, as if the person being judged in court was not someone else, but himself.

"Before the second trial, in order to prevent Yue Zezhang from appealing successfully, your father made great efforts and begged many people." Dong Xin probably also saw this scene, and leaned into Xiao Chining's ear to explain.

But Xiao Chining knew very well that there were other reasons.

For Xiao Zhaoshan, this hammer symbolized the official end of his 20-year prison sentence.He is free at last.

After the court ended, Xiao Zhaoshan had to follow the procedure to stay and sign. Xiao Chining and Dong Xin went to the parking lot first to wait for him.The two went down the steps and walked to the door. Unexpectedly, Chi Yan chased after him with a bag in his hands.

"Xiao Chining." She said seriously, "talk to me."

Xiao Chining looked at Dong Xin, and immediately handed her the unfinished Coke: "Godmother, I'll come to you later."

It was the second time in his life that he got into Chi Yan's car, but his mood was completely different from the first time he went to the airport with her to pick up Xiao Zhaoshan—he was an adult, and his world would no longer be limited to this The carriage, the house.

"What's the matter? Ms. Chi." He looked at Chi Yan and took the initiative to speak.

Chi Yan glanced at the ring on his ring finger, and said mockingly: "You two are quite bold, dare to wear a pair of rings to court."

Xiao Chining raised his left hand in front of her eyes, and shook it intentionally: "Not only do I dare to wear the pair of rings in court, but I also dare to show it off to you directly. Does it look good? Come, look generously, look straight, I don't charge any fees."

"Xiao Chining!" Chi Yan turned to him, glaring at him and said, "What on earth are you thinking?! He is your father, dear father!"

Xiao Chining withdrew his hand, lowered his head and straightened his collar: "Well, it looks so similar, it's impossible to pick it up, I know."

Chi Yan frowned and stared at him for a long time, seeing that he had no possibility of being seduced or forced at all, he was silent for a while, and his voice completely cooled down.

"Xiao Chining, are you trying to get revenge on him and me?"

Xiao Chining admitted without pretentiousness: "Yes. Although there were some mistakes in the middle, for example... I really fell in love with Xiao Zhaoshan, but the overall plan was very successful."

He turned his head to look at Chi Yan, and smiled with his lips curled up: "What should I do, it's your turn to be abandoned."

Chi Yan looked out of the windshield, with a gloomy face: "You are wrong, my life is not only Xiao Zhaoshan, no one can abandon me."

Xiao Chining nodded, and actually agreed: "Well, it's hard to hurt you, I wish I understood earlier."

Chi Yan looked back at him, and asked the doubt that had been haunting him for a long time: "Xiao Chining, what are you trying to do? Has my mother treated you badly in the past 17 years? Have I ever treated you badly?"

Xiao Chining knew that it would be futile to explain the secret pain of childhood to a woman who has no sense of responsibility as a mother, so he just said: "You are fine, and I am fine too. You can continue to think like this, it doesn't matter."

"Take a step back..." Chi Yan said disdainfully, "Do you think Xiao Zhaoshan is a good father? He is both a whore and an archway, and he is worse than me. How good can it be for you to be with him?" ?”

"Yeah, we are in dire straits." Xiao Chining twirled the ring and sighed, "But what can I do? He just loves me so much, can't leave me, and is afraid of losing me. When I paint a picture, he will squeeze the paint for me , He will consciously wash the dishes when I cook, and he will sleep with me when I take a nap, and I will go out to sketch with the teacher, and he will call me every hour to confirm my safety."

He raised his eyes to look at Shang Chi's shocked face, and said sarcastically, "Do you think you've seen him when he really loves someone? You've never been loved, and you'll never understand. Just listen to it as an eye-opener." Bar."

"Love? Xiao Chining, tell me about love, the most unreliable thing in the world?" Chi Yan laughed angrily, "He is 24 years older than you, you can't love him for long, and he can't love you for long .”

Xiao Chining answered the former: "I'm not talking about love, you don't deserve to talk about it with me, I'm letting you recognize yourself."

"Anyway, how long we can love without worrying about you, a cheap mother and ex-wife." He put on the car door handle, "It's almost there, I have to go, someone is waiting for me."

Chi Yan spent all his energy on restraining his fear of their father and son's love for each other and his anger at what Xiao Chining said, so he didn't stop him.

When Xiao Chining found Dong Xin's car, Xiao Zhaoshan had already sat in the back seat.

"Chi Yan looking for you?" He took Xiao Chining's hand and asked, "What did she tell you?"

Dong Xin started the car, frowned and said, "That's why I hate driving young couples the most, making me feel like a full-time driver."

Xiao Chining scolded her with a playful smile before answering Xiao Zhaoshan: "It's nothing, she can't blame me."

Xiao Zhaoshan didn't ask any further questions, and stretched out his index finger to scratch the bridge of his nose: "That's right, someone who can speak against you probably hasn't been born yet."

After saying that, he gradually became quiet.

On the way, Dong Xin chatted about his desire to remarry, and asked Xiao Chining's opinion bluntly: "Chi Ning, you have seen that uncle lawyer who helped me and your father solve a lot of troubles at the gate of the Public Security Bureau on a snowy day, Do you have an impression? What do you think of him?"

Xiao Chining recalled to no avail, and said apologetically, "Actually... I don't remember..."

Dong Xin didn't seem to care about this, but just wanted to get an answer from others.

She jokingly said: "We have known each other for eight years, and we only started talking about things other than work at the beginning of this year. Is it too early for friends of this level to talk about getting married?"

Xiao Chining secretly glanced at Xiao Zhaoshan, wanting to ask for help outside the venue, but Xiao Zhaoshan kept looking out of the window, and had no intention of participating in the discussion.

"It's not too early." Xiao Chining turned his head and found Dong Xin's eyes looking straight ahead in the rearview mirror, and said sincerely, "Once the idea of ​​marrying someone comes up, it's never too early."

Dong Xin didn't expect him to say this, and was quite surprised: "Really?"

"Yes." Xiao Chining affirmed, "Godmother, you are still young, beautiful and rich, and you can do what you want."

Dong Xin was a little shy: "I'm going to be 42 soon, I'm so young and beautiful, it's not bad if I don't look old."

Xiao Chining asked: "How old is that uncle lawyer?"

Dong Xin replied, "Two years older than me and your dad."

"It's only two years old." Xiao Chining squeezed Xiao Zhaoshan's hand, and said intentionally, "I'm 24 years younger than my dad, and I don't think he's old. Godmother, don't worry."

Xiao Zhaoshan came back to his senses and just caught the second half of these words.

"Don't you think there is a generation gap between me and you?" He asked with a smile.

Dong Xin interjected: "Finally come back to your soul and don't pretend to be deep?"

Xiao Zhaoshan retorted: "I was just thinking about something."

Dong Xin directly exposed him: "Thinking about Yue Zezhang, right? Old Xiao, the dust has settled and there is nothing to think about. Don't stand still, the most important thing is to look forward."

"Who is standing still?" Xiao Zhaoshan said in a deep voice, "I was just thinking about what I have lived in the past 20 years."

Dong Xin answered quickly: "It looks like a human being, what else?"

Xiao Zhaoshan sighed: "Dong Xin, if Xiao Chining hadn't been there, I might have been sentenced to death today, do you understand?"

Xiao Chining pointed at himself in surprise: "Me?!"

"Yes, you." Xiao Zhaoshan pretended to be angry and told him the whole story, "If you hadn't suddenly gone crazy to buy drugs, I would never fucking know that Yue Zezhang was planning on me like this."

Xiao Chining remembered that Yue Zezhang had mentioned it when he was tied up in the suburbs.

"There won't be a next time, be more honest." Xiao Zhaoshan grabbed his finger and warned.

"Is that so..." Xiao Chining's mood suddenly sank.

"You should thank Hu Yingxue." He pulled out his hand and said sadly, "She saved you."

[08/06]

Xiao Chining took Xiao Zhaoshan to the Missing Parents Garden.

The last time I came, the tomb behind Hu Yingxue was still empty, but words have been added to the tombstone today.It's a 13-year-old boy.

Xiao Chining looked around and sighed, "I'm just in the first and second grades."

Xiao Zhaoshan put a bunch of gypsophila stars in front of Hu Yingxue's grave, and followed his gaze.

Xiao Chining squatted down, patted the tombstone, and said, "Hu Yingxue, I'm already eighteen, why are you still sixteen?"

"Forever a girl." Xiao Zhaoshan looked away and squatted down with him.

"This is my dad, isn't it the first time I've seen him?" Xiao Chining pointed to Xiao Zhaoshan beside him, "Bring him here to show you, it's always played like this on TV."

Xiao Zhaoshan smiled and said hello to the tombstone: "Hello, Gu Yuehu, Ying who stands out from the crowd, Xue who is smart in ice and snow. I am the zodiac zodiac. [1]."

Xiao Chining said: "Tch, don't listen to him, he is Xiao Xiang's Xiao, who took the cheated photos and deleted them."

Xiao Zhaoshan didn't mind, and continued: "I came today to thank you. Although you can't hear me, I still have to say, thank you. I hope you can meet a good pair of parents and fall in love with a good person in your next life."

When Xiao Chining heard this, his tone became serious: "Dad"

"There is no next life." He raised his hand to touch the three characters "Hu Yingxue", and said softly, "She only has this life. It's very short, very bad... this life."

[07/18]

In the second week after Xiao Zhaoshan turned 43 years old, Xiao Chining received the admission notice of CAFA's experimental art major.The reason why I didn’t go to Qingmei was——

The cultural class was really a bit of a hindrance, and he didn't get into the major he wanted to study.

What arrived almost at the same time as the admission notice was Hu Yingxue's diary.

At first Xiao Chining thought he was going back to Hangzhou, so he filled in Qiu Yin's address on the slow delivery form, thinking that he could pick it up and go, but now he can only ask Qiu Yin to send it back to him.

Qiu Yin has lived alone in Hangzhou for the past two years, and his contact with Chi Yan seems to be as little as ever.Xiao Zhaoshan thought of her care for Xiao Chining over the past 17 years, and still insisted on transferring money to her every month, and would remind Xiao Chining to call her on holidays.

Xiao Chining thought he was being hypocritical, he couldn't hold back his face, and resolutely refused, so Xiao Zhaoshan pinned him on the bed at night and gave him a good fuck.

Afterwards, Xiao Zhaoshan carried him to the bathroom to clean up, and persuaded him again earnestly: "Xiao Chining, I don't want to see you become like me and Chi Yan."

It was only then that Xiao Chining softened. He started by sending text messages to congratulate on the National Day, and gradually got used to talking to Qiu Yin, asking her how she was doing recently, and explaining some trivial and trivial daily life, which can be called warmth.

On the day after the college entrance examination, Quin probably thought he would go out to have dinner with his classmates, so he waited until 10:30 p.m. before calling to ask him how he did in the exam, which school he wanted to apply to, and what plans he had for the summer vacation.

In order to live up to the expectations of the old professor, turpentine oil, and Xiao Zhaoshan, Xiao Chining worked hard to prepare for the college entrance examination. He hadn’t eaten meat for nearly forty days. When he received the call, he was having dinner with Xiao Zhaoshan on the bed. .

"I passed the exam...not bad..."

Xiao Zhaoshan straightened up, stuck another index finger in against his own swelling, and intentionally pressed his most sensitive point.

"Hmm... no, no score evaluation, I don't know which school to report to... ah!"

After playing with his fingers enough, Xiao Zhaoshan pulled his shoulders and lay down neatly on the bed, making Xiao Chining change into a back riding position.

"It's nothing... I was bitten by a mosquito."

Holding the phone, Xiao Chining turned to stare at him, sitting down deliberately, but Xiao Zhaoshan happened to push him up.

Stealing a chicken is not enough to eat a lot of rice, he completely softened his waist, and his whole body seemed to be floating on the green waves in the mountains. It was not the mountains that moved, but the wind, and the spring water in the pool was also moved by the wind.

Xiao Zhaoshan saw that he was consciously twisted, so he sat up on the bed, put his lips against his other ear, blew into it, and laughed in a low voice: "Shake, shake, shake, baby, shake it to grandma!" bridge."

Because of this shameless naughty remark, Xiao Chining would stay away from Xiao Zhaoshan by at least ten meters on the phone with Qiu Yin afterwards.

After sleeping and forgetting food and sleep for more than a year, today he finally got the admission notice, and he was really happy. He wanted to call Qiu Yin seriously, so he went upstairs to the studio that belonged to him alone.

When the call was connected, he was a little apprehensive.

Without giving him too much nervous time, Quin quickly picked up the call, and guessed the purpose of his initiative to make this call.

"Xiao Ning?" Her voice also sounded nervous, "Did the school get the results? The girl downstairs seems to have received the admission letter."

Xiao Chining felt a little embarrassed when he thought of what he was going to say later, so he had to keep silent to brew his emotions.

Qiu Yin would be wrong, thinking that he failed the exam, and after waiting for a while, he pretended to be meaningless: "I know your grades, it's okay, at worst, I will come back next year. After being tired for so long, I still have to play during the summer vacation. Hmm ...Go and play, go and go, play early and come back to study early.”

Xiao Chining didn't know whether to be angry or to laugh for a moment, he took a deep breath and said, "Central Academy of Fine Arts Department of Experimental Art."

Qiu Yin was stunned: "What?"

Xiao Chining said: "The admission notice is in my hand, I passed the exam."

Qiu Yin became incoherent in an instant: "Did you pass the exam? Yangmei... Wait a minute, I'll ask the girl downstairs where the Department of Experimental Art is."

"The Central Academy of Fine Arts is of course in Beijing, and experimental art is the major I want to study in the future." Xiao Chining was amused by her, "Don't ask people such mentally retarded questions."

"Oh...oh! Beijing!" Qiu Yin patted his chest and let out a sigh of relief.

In her mind, there are good universities everywhere in Beijing. After all, her own daughter was admitted to Beijing with high scores.

"Okay, okay, it's not easy for you, Beijing, okay." Quin kept repeating, the smile in his voice couldn't be concealed no matter what.

Xiao Chining listened, his eyes were inexplicably sore.

Beijing is very good, and these days he also slowly remembered a lot of good things about Quin.

For example, cook nutritious meals for him every day, for example, when he learns to cook while scolding and pointing at the side, for him to pour the dishes with drops of water into the hot oil pan, and for example——even if his grades are poor, Qiu Because every time I would still dress decently to hold a parent-teacher meeting for him, and after the meeting, I would drag him to find the head teacher worriedly, and introduce myself to the head teacher like this: "Hi teacher, I am Xiao Chining's parent."

"Oh, there's no way, his parents are in Beijing and busy."

She would always be like this, explaining to the class teacher why he didn't learn well.

"Only my grandmother is with him, but I have no education, so I really can't help him with homework."

He thought that Quin was his grandmother. Even though she used to think that she was uneducated, that she would embarrass himself every time she went to school dressed like a nouveau riche, that she was long-winded, troublesome and snobbish, she was still the only one who accompanied him. A close relative of 17 years.

"Out...grandmother."

Xiao Chining vaguely remembered that after he entered junior high school, he didn't seem to call her that. Usually he either didn't call her, or just "you" and "you", which made him and Qiu Yin unhappy.

With a hoarse voice, he said regretfully, "I'm sorry..."

When Qiu Yin on the other end of the phone heard the word "Grandma", his old eyes suddenly turned red, and he said in disbelief, "What's wrong with this? Why did you suddenly tell me this?"

"I'm sorry, Granny."

Xiao Chining lowered his head and wrinkled the admission notice.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you all day long, I shouldn't have called you grandma, I shouldn't have confronted you, I shouldn't have thrown away the buns you steamed early in the morning... I'm sorry."

Quin didn't speak, and it was a long time before heavy breathing came from the receiver.

"I'm old," she laughed with tears in her eyes. "In the past two years, I've always thought of you when you were very young. Wherever I went, you would follow me by the corner of my clothes. Anyone who saw me would praise you for being good. Praise you for looking good."

"Why did it become like this later? I was thinking, did I make you into this?" She whimpered again, "I'm sorry Xiao Ning, grandma shouldn't force you to do things you don't like, shouldn't I don't listen to your thoughts, I'm sorry...you have grown up, you are very good-looking, very sensible, and you have been admitted to a good university, grandma is really happy for you."

why.Xiao Chining has asked the same question thousands of times, but no one has ever answered him.

He groped alone and stubbornly, and gradually passed the age of curious answers.

It took him 19 years to admit that he is not the center of the world, not a child who is owed by everyone and cannot get love and care.

He is Qiu Yin's grandson, Hu Yingxue's last friend, Xiao Zhaoshan's only son and lover, and he is Xiao Chining who should look at the world anew.

-

[1] "Bright Moon and Pine Photos" comes from Wang Wei's "Mountain Dwelling in Autumn"; "The Green Mountains Can't Cover It" comes from Xin Qiji's "Bodhisattva Man Book Jiangxi Stoma Wall".I'm afraid everyone has forgotten, but I would like to remind you that Xiao Zhaoshan used this to correspond to Xiao Chining's explanation of Hu Yingxue's name in Chapter 38.

The author has something to say: [1] "Bright Moon and Pine Photos" comes from Wang Wei's "Mountain Dwelling in Autumn"; "The Green Mountains Can't Cover It" comes from Xin Qiji's "Bodhisattva Man Book Jiangxi Stoma Wall".I'm afraid everyone has forgotten, but I would like to remind you that Xiao Zhaoshan used this to correspond to Xiao Chining's explanation of Hu Yingxue's name in Chapter 38. [Written at the end]: This long-winded random feeling that I am embarrassed to call a novel is finally over. Thank you for your encouragement and company along the way.The original inspiration for falling in love actually came from playing chess, but because the latter is a fairy tale of urban sweet pets, it is impossible to discuss it in detail, so I opened a father and son full of thunder.During the serialization, I received more attention and love than I expected. Thank you very much. I also silently wrote down some opinions and suggestions, and strive to improve the next one (I hope everyone can speak freely! Whether it is good or not, speak out boldly!).May you all see the world with eyes full of love!Bye!