why are they still in love

The signal light for turning left turned red, Xiao Zhaoshan kept his gaze unchanged, raised his palm to turn on the turn signal, and suddenly asked, "Is that your girlfriend?"

"Huh?" Xiao Chining reacted for a while before suddenly realizing, "Oh, you mean Hu Yingxue?"

He pulled the seat belt on his chest and smiled: "Dad, if you answer my question just now, I will tell you."

Xiao Zhaoshan didn't look at him, and asked knowingly, "What's the problem?"

"Didn't you say you don't have time?" Xiao Chining leaned his head back on the neck pillow, his jaw drawn into a clean arc, "Why are you here today?"

After he couldn't think of it, he realized that such an expression was suspected of being ridiculed, and quickly maintained a smile to make up for it: "I am very happy, thank you Dad."

When the green light came on, Xiao Zhaoshan stepped on the accelerator slowly without moving, and said briefly: "Go get the painting, drop by."

Xiao Chining's eyes lit up, and he looked back at the back seat: "What painting? Can I see it?"

It's "The Woman Sitting at the Window".

The original title was "A Woman Sitting in a Daze by the Window". After editing and before sending it to be framed, Xiao Zhaoshan carefully deleted the word "in a daze".

That day, an acquainted master asked him what he wanted to print on the title. He looked at the woman without facial features in the painting, and remembered Xiao Chining once said when he came to the gallery the only time: "Here, you can do it without painting."

So when he came out of the framing shop today, he thought of Xiao Chining again, and incidentally remembered that today was his parent meeting.

Xiao Zhaoshan has lived for 41 years, and this is the first time in his life to participate in this kind of activity. He was taken to the corner of the last row of the auditorium by student volunteers when he arrived late. He didn't know what he should do to make it worth the trip.

He generously observed the parents around him, and found that they were all recording with paper and pen, or recording with their mobile phones.The few who were not paying attention, like the students who were distracted in class, dared not speak up, and secretly played with their mobile phones under the cover of the front row of seats.

The season for turning on the air-conditioning was already past, and the auditorium was very stuffy. The voice of the grade group leader was flat and straightforward. After listening to it for 10 minutes, he was really bored, so he simply left to smoke on the outside platform.

As soon as he took out the lighter, the bell for the end of get out of class rang on the campus. Students from the first and second grades filed out of the teaching building, walking in twos and threes in the same direction at a fast pace.

At first Xiao Zhaoshan thought the students were going to the toilet, but he didn’t know until he saw the same couple went empty-handed and came back with a bag of snacks. Urgent, but appetite.

Standing behind the railing and looking down at their expressions and interactions, he couldn't understand why they could laugh so happily just sharing a bag of potato chips together.

When he was in high school, he also fell in love with a classmate who had studied ballet for ten years.But at that time, there was no canteen in the school. If they were in different classes, apart from passing notes outside the classroom and playing table tennis on the playground for 5 minutes, couples had no other activities to do between classes.

So he never looked for her between classes, he sent her home after school, and a shallow kiss with her outside her alley was the whole of love.

But soon, as if he had come to attend this parents' meeting, he lost interest in this pure love.

When he proposed to break up, the beautiful girl cried and asked him: "Have you fallen in love with someone else?"

He said, "No. It's just, it's boring."

The girl's eyes widened: "Am I bored?"

Xiao Zhaoshan didn't remember exactly how he answered, but he only remembered that after the breakup, he drew several rural scenes based on the road to send the girls home, and took them to participate in foreign competitions and won the second prize.

Therefore, at the age of 17, he guessed that the whole meaning of campus love may be after breaking up.

Coincidentally, Xiao Chining is also 17 years old this year. If he had a campus romance, would he laugh so happily because of a bag of potato chips?

Just imagining that scene made Xiao Zhaoshan feel funny, weird and unimaginable.

It may be that he has never paid attention to his study life, and he does not even have a picture of Xiao Chining walking side by side with other peers. He seems to be alone all the time, with his skateboard and his cigarettes .

How should I imagine Xiao Chining holding a girl's hand to send her home, and kissing her under the locust tree at the entrance of the alley?

"You still have not answered my question."

There was nothing in the back seat, Xiao Chining turned around and blinked at Xiao Zhaoshan: "Is Dad curious?"

Yes, he was curious, he wondered if this girl was the one who made Xiao Chining alive overnight - after all, he was still curious about Xiao Chining, which made him unable to really admit it, because curiosity would be a constant retreat Start.

In order to stop the loss in time, he stopped and asked: "It's fine, as long as you don't let me and your mother clean up the mess for you."

Xiao Chining shrugged: "I like men, no matter how bad they are, it's nothing more than a disease, and it won't make their stomachs bigger."

This answer doesn't quench my curiosity.If it wasn't for his girlfriend, the look in his eyes would be even more suspicious.

Is Xiao Chining in unrequited love?Xiao Chining would be unrequited love?

Impossible, Xiao Zhaoshan laughed secretly.

The car crossed two more streets, getting closer and closer to home.After the sudden 10-minute silence, Xiao Chining, who had been looking out the window, asked irrelevantly: "Dad, have you ever thought about killing someone?"

After Xiao Zhaoshan changed his path, he glanced at the back of his head and his ears, which were illuminated by the setting sun, and subconsciously became vigilant.

"What do you mean?"

Xiao Chining still looked out of the window, his voice calm: "Have you ever thought about killing me?"

His lazy eyes and forehead facing the wind were reflected in the rearview mirror on the right, and Xiao Zhaoshan felt dazed for no reason, as if Xiao Chining had just seen him for the first time.

It wasn't the crumpled little thing that just came out of Chi Yan's stomach, nor was it the little baby clutching his fingers, nor was it the teenager lying on the hospital bed weakly crying, choking up and saying that he wanted to go home, their first love... Seeing that it should be in the gallery, Xiao Chining smashed everything, including himself.

That was the first time he got a glimpse into the heart of this 17-year-old son who had somehow grown up thousands of miles away.

"Let's tell the truth. Even a second counts. Dad, have you ever thought about wanting me to die?" Xiao Chining turned around calmly and asked clearly, "'It's best to die, you Have you ever thought about it?"

In an instant, Xiao Zhaoshan felt that he couldn't lie to the eyes that were staring at him. He nodded his head in a strange way, and then explained objectively: "I think all parents in the world, without exception, will regret it several times in their lives. A child was born."

Xiao Chining was not surprised, and even hooked the corners of his lips: "It's not just my parents who regret it, I also thought about killing people."

Xiao Zhaoshan was aroused: "Kill me?"

"More than that." Xiao Chining changed his voice, "But every time I find that I still love you."

His tone was so ordinary, as if he was saying that people can breathe and the sun will rise, but it made Xiao Zhaoshan's throat tighten for a while.

"It never occurred to you that this might not be..."

He wanted to say, your love for me may not be love, but hatred to the bone, and sometimes their boundaries are ambiguous and indistinguishable.

But before he finished speaking, he was interrupted abruptly by Xiao Chining: "Can you see that Hu Yingxue is a girl who can abuse cats, she has many ways to cut them open and let their brains splatter. Dad ,Do you know why?"

Xiao Zhaoshan tightly closed his lips in response.

Xiao Chining unbuckled his seat belt and leaned closer to the driver's seat: "Because her love has been let down."

Across the gear lever, he quickly kissed Xiao Zhaoshan's dry lips, and after leaving, he raised his hand to hold his stiff face with his warm palm, lowered his eyes and asked in a low voice: "You won't kill you for me?" opportunity, right, Dad?"