【GGAD ABO】Nirvana

Newt knew he was in love with Tina Goldstein, the American Auror.He just struggled with one point: "I want to find out..." The blush on his face faded, "Am I really in love with her in person, or am I attracted by pheromones? I'm afraid it's the latter."

In this regard, the wise Albus Dumbledore could not give a clear explanation.He himself was deeply trapped in this quagmire called feelings and could not find a way out.

After seeing off Newt and his Fantastic Beasts, Albus picked up the quill and tried to write a letter to Gellert.

"Dear Gellert," he crossed out the word "dear," intending to sound more formal.When Gellert first joined the Prussian League of Magicians, he was based in Berlin. They communicated with each other by writing letters on weekdays, and met on weekends and holidays.In order to reduce the burden on the owl, the two agreed to write down what they wanted to write every day in time until eight o'clock in the evening, and then mailed the parchment they had saved throughout the day.Gellert liked writing letters very much, and receiving heavy letters became what Albus looked forward to most every day.He writes in detail about his daily life, sudden inspiration and dissatisfaction with the bureaucracy, as well as his reading experience, suggestions for improving the spell, and his thoughts on Albus. "I saw a red-haired Muggle sitting across the street drinking coffee under a parasol, and for a moment I thought of you." The letters seemed to fly, "I made a cup of tea and added honey, just like you always do It's like that. Have to say, Albus, it's too sweet…"

"Gellert," Albus wrote, shaking the mess out of his head, "Newt came to see me today—"

No, he couldn't bring up Newt.If there was a list of Gellert's most hated people, Newt and Aberforth would be at the top of the list.When Albus first entered Hogwarts to work, he found Newt, who was in the second year, and wrote it in the letter in surprise.He received a large stack of parchments the next day, and Gellert angrily accused young Scamander of being a shameless liar, thief, and insane robber who kept a herd of dangerous animals.He couldn't help laughing as he read the letter, and before he could stop laughing, the fire in the fireplace turned green and Gellert crawled out.

"Are you laughing at me?" He was 20 years old, had grown almost three inches, and was still wearing his uniform robes. 20-year-old Gellert, Albus looked at him with moist eyes, this is the Gellert Grindelwald he had never seen in his last life... "Your beloved Newt is a bad guy," said the blond The young man didn't know why, and he was still complaining endlessly, "Don't look at him as being honest on the surface, in fact—Albus," Gellert noticed the abnormality, "Are you crying? Are you crying?"

"I think your complaint is too funny." The 22-year-old assistant professor smiled and said, a big tear welled up, "Really, it's so funny."

"Dear Gellert", Albus changed a new piece of parchment, he wanted to apologize, it would be better to be gentle, "I want to apologize to you, yesterday morning, I shouldn't have disregarded your wishes..." He wiped his nose, and drew letters on the paper with a quill pen, "The two children can get a new life, it is also your credit, I just want to make you happy..."

The quill pierced the parchment, and the ink was thick, staining the corner of the letter paper black.Albus stopped writing, and sighed with a wry smile.He's been happy for 150 years, but he still can't easily control himself when facing Gellert.This person was like a spell created by Merlin, designed to disturb his heart, make him happy, make him suffer, make him ecstatic, and make him desperate. "You said yesterday that you are going to perform a mission. Is it a dangerous mission? I don't know if you can—" He pondered over the sentence, searching his guts, but couldn't find a suitable word.It was windy outside, and the window edges rattled.Albus put down his quill and walked over to the fireplace.

But Gellert wasn't packing at his London house.Albus knocked on the bedroom door anxiously, but there was no life inside.He walked in, the dream catcher was hanging over the bed, and the violin was waving and pulling the empty strings boredly.He used to joke about buying a model of the Hungarian Horntail for Gellert.Gellert didn't understand, so he said, "Because of your name."

"Oh, I thought you were praising my bravery and fearlessness." Gellert was smug. He was 23 years old and just became an ambassador.They discussed together and chose this house with a beautiful little garden in front. "The air in London isn't great," complained the new ambassador, "and the gardens have to be tended—"

"Then you can choose the one in the Scottish countryside," said Albus, "where there are beautiful mountains and rivers, and the garden is bigger."

"There are more goblins." Gellert lay down on the bed and raised one foot, "That's it."

Albus also lay down on the bed, recalling Gellert's actions, and raised his right foot.This position made him uncomfortable. He tried it, but chose to lie flat.A piece of pajamas was still next to the pillow, it seemed that Ruanrou was sent back before cleaning.Albus took the pajamas, which still had Gellert's pheromones on them.He hugged the pajamas in his arms, remembering the last time he was lying on this bed, Gellert pressed against his body, as if losing control.

"Is that okay?" Gellert asked as they both drank and celebrated the passage of the adoption bill.Gellert had vaguely shown his intentions before, and he frequently invited Albus to come out to "walk around", secretly holding his hand, and giving him an excuse to hug him.Albus sensed that the boundaries of friendship were precarious—they had made out many times during those two months.Gellert was also like this at first, finding various reasons to touch him, observing his reaction...to control the progress.At last he felt that Albus was completely prostrate under his robes, and took him to the barn—like taking him to this bedroom.

"Can you, Albus?" Gellert's eyes lit up startlingly, "Let me kiss you—"

It had to be admitted that Albus liked Gellert's touch.He still likes this person in his heart, if he asks himself in the dark, he can face his heart honestly.Those two months, except for the last day, seemed to flow with sweet honey, until he faced the Mirror of Erised in middle age, and the deepest and strongest desire in his heart remained the same.

"Let's get married, shall we? Let me mark you." Gellert kissed him on the mouth. "Promise."

For a moment, Albus opened his mouth to murmur agreement.He succumbed to the powerful pheromones and willingly prostrated himself.He stared at the strange-colored pupils in front of him, like the deep sea, and he was intoxicated in it... He clearly heard the call of instinct, eager to be entered, marked, conceived///pregnant, and give birth to this alpha...

Then he woke up, dripping with cold sweat.

"No," Albus refused, "no."

Gellert leaned over in confusion, gnawed on his lips, like a wronged child, "You don't like me anymore?"

"I like to be friends with you." Albus' hands and feet were weak, and he grabbed his coat to cover his chest. "Gellert, didn't we agree to be friends?"

He fled in a hurry and spent a few days in the dormitory relying on medicine.Later, when he was confident that he could face Gellert calmly, he wrote and invited his "old friend" to visit Hogwarts.They chatted in front of the fireplace, and Albus apologized for his inappropriate behavior. "I'm giving you the illusion, that's my problem," he said. "I get too close to people sometimes, in school... you know, being nice to students is a bad habit."

Gellert also expressed a deep apology, "I drank that day, far exceeding my drinking capacity...don't worry about it."

There was a long awkward silence between them, and then Albus produced a Muggle poetry anthology, and they read a few poems, discussed the metaphors, and quickly warmed up again.For more than half a year after that, Albus paid close attention to his words and deeds so as not to send wrong signals to Gellert.But the two were hanging out soon again, having picnics in Muggle parks and seeing exhibitions.Albus couldn't resist buying new cushions for Gellert's sofa, weaving tablecloths, sending him handmade sweaters and hats.Gellert accepted all the orders and agreed to all his requests.Their relationship became more intimate and weird, like friends, but deeper into each other's lives than lovers.

"...a vicious circle." Albus looked at the fire dragon model and said to himself.